Son of a Crime God, Daughter of a Hoover

by Latoya Nicole

  “Can I get you anything else?” Shaking my head no, I started back eating my food.

  “What else do you think you can give him huh? You wanna fuck my man? Gone and tell me the truth, he looks good don’t he? Dick look like it could be edible right? Get the fuck on before I drag your ass.” I looked at Spark like she had lost her mind.

  “Excuse me?” The waitress was appalled, and I had no idea where that shit came from. Usually when Spark goes off, it’s at one of the lil girls I fucked, and they were all over me. She had a reason to those times, but this shit was unwarranted.

  “You might wanna walk off while you still have a chance. I promise this is not what you want baby girl.” When Spark started flicking her Bic, I knew I had to intervene.

  “Thank you, but I’m good.” Going on the other side of the booth, I sat next to Spark. “What the hell is wrong with you? It’s that girl’s job to ask me if I want anything else.” She snatched away from me and started going off.

  “Oh, you gone take her side? That’s what we doing now Darryl? Now, all of a sudden you got enough dick to go around. You a friendly dick mufucka now? Just leave, you and that bitch can get the fuck out of my face.” When she started crying, I knew something was wrong. Shaking my head, I threw the money on the table for the bill and grabbed her by the arm. This mufucka screamed and kicked as if I was about to do something to her ass.

  “Spark, calm down and bring your ass on. Quit embarrassing us like this.”

  “Because that bitch wants to suck your dick, you want to fight me. Really Darryl, you gone drag me to the car like I’m a piece of meat.” Shaking my head, I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder. Putting her in the car, I drove her straight to the emergency room. When she saw where we were, it must have hit her why we were there. She went from wanting to kill me, to planning out baby showers. Now it was time for me to be aggravated.

  “Spark, we don’t know if you’re pregnant, but if you are, that shit ain’t a good thing.”

  “Yes it is, you will see. I hope it’s a boy. We don’t need another Jesus around here. You and your dad do enough.” Shorty was smiling down, but I was praying she wasn’t pregnant. Even though I knew my luck more than likely ran out, I prayed anyway. All the mood swings made sense and I was pissed at myself for slipping up when I did. I knew better, but I gave in sometimes because it wasn’t worth the argument. Half the time, going back and forth made my dick go soft, so I gave in a lot. Looking at her over there happy as a hoe, I wanted to slap her ass with some oil. They finally called her to the back and she damn near skipped.

  “Come on baby daddy. I bet the baby look just like you.” If she was pregnant, she was gone work my fucking nerves. She only known for thirty minutes that she might be, and she already had the name, baby shower venue, and now she was saying I was gone look like this ugly ass blob on the paper. Not responding, I tried to keep my composure.

  As soon as they were done running tests, she went right back to her antics. Shorty was putting baby clothes in shopping carts online and all. They haven’t even told us if she is or not and my ass was over there praying hard. I needed them to say no, and I promised I would do better. My ass would make sure the jimmy was on extra tight.

  “Okay you guys. Congratulations. You’re about six weeks pregnant and you will need to see your regular doctor to get you started on your prenatal care.” Spark jumped up and ran to the doctor hugging her and my ass made a mental note to slap the shit out of my pops. Nigga ain’t take the wheel on that shit. Getting up, we left out and I was really going to try and talk some sense into her.

  “Shorty, you know I love you and a nigga ain’t going nowhere, but this is not the time. I got you Spark, just give us some time man.” Her head whipped around fast as fuck and I knew it was about to go bad.

  “Are you asking me to abort my baby? You could have pulled out, you could have fought harder to wear a condom, you could have not fucked at all. If you wanted to make sure you didn’t have a baby, you should have taken better precautions. The baby is here, and you know we are going to be the bomb parents.”

  “Spark, we young as hell and need to finish school. We have time to do this later. Give us a chance to be kids.” I knew I was reaching there, but I would try to say anything.

  “Now we kids? Were we kids when you was eating my ass?” This mufucka had lost it.

  “You tried that shit. I’ve never eaten your ass. Darryl eats pussy, not the booty hole.”

  “Same thing with your slow ass. We are going to have this baby and you are going to love it.”

  “Spark, this is a partnership. You don’t run shit but those big ass shoes on your feet. Quit talking to me like I’m a fucking kid. You don’t get to tell me what the fuck I’m going to do. You so determined to have this baby, what the fuck you think your father gone say? You think he gone take this shit lying down? No, he’s not. You so dead set on having this baby, you not even thinking about the war your ass is about to start.” That mufucka looked me dead in my eye and shrugged her shoulders.

  “Fuck you and him. I’m having this baby and I don’t give a fuck who don’t like it. You want out, then bye. BYEEE. I don’t need you and I’m damn sure not about to beg your ass to stay. You can get the fuck out whenever you’re ready.” Yeah, she had definitely lost her fucking mind.

  “This my shit, so why don’t you get your independent ass up out of my shit. Remember you said you don’t need me, don’t call me for shit.” Spark jumped out thinking I was playing with her ass. As soon as my door was closed, I drove the fuck off. I’m sure she thought I was coming back, but she was gone learn today my petty was stronger than hers. Knowing she would tear my shit up, I went to a hotel for the night. A soon as I was inside, I called pops.

  “What’s up son.” That nigga sounded bored out of his mind.

  “Pops, you got a minute, I need to talk to you and I need you to make sure ma is not around. I kind of just need some advice from you.”

  “Hold on, let me turn off Sandford and Son. My ass ain’t in here doing shit. Thinking about going on vacation or something. Aight, I’m in the theatre, what’s up.” Taking a deep breath, I told him what the hell was going on.

  “Spark is pregnant.”

  “Nigga. Have you lost your damn mind? You know damn well you’re not ready for that shit and I damn sure ain’t trying to be a grandfather. Just the thought made my knees crack. Fuck is wrong with you?”

  “Pops, I know. I don’t want the baby and she won’t get rid of it. I think she did the shit on purpose, it’s all the fuck she talks about. I keep telling her after we finish school, but shorty don’t wanna hear that shit. Nigga not to mention, I asked your flaw ass to take the wheel. Your ass ain’t even grab the handle.” You could hear him laughing, but I ain’t find shit funny.

  “Sometimes I allow my permissive will to take control. Look son, you have to find a different way to get through to her. You can’t just tell a chick to get an abortion. Especially when they love you dummy. Shit will never happen. Now, I can give you a pill that might help her lose the shit, but that type of shit will fuck up your mental. I don’t think you’re ready to kill your own seed. Oooh, or you can kick her down the stairs if you bout that life.” Looking at the phone, I knew this nigga was losing his mind.

  “Pops, I’m not trying to do none of that. I’m also not trying to go to war with her pops either. This shit is all wrong and not the right time.” His ass actually perked up.

  “Well shit, if you keep the baby and go to war, I can finally get some action. Keep the baby son, take one for the team. Your daddy needs to get out of this house and do something.” Shaking my head, I knew he was not the right person for me to call.

  “Thanks for nothing pops. Imma stay away for a few days and clear my head. I need to just think, and I can’t do that with shorty in my ear. I’ll keep you updated, but in the meantime, congrats old man.”

  “Fuck you.” Laughing I hung up the phone. Rolling up, I took one to t
he head. This shit was all fucked up, but if she chose to keep the baby, I was gone have to be there. It wasn’t in my DNA to be a deadbeat, and I loved my girl. I just wish she would stop being selfish and look at the bigger picture.

  Three days later, I was driving back towards the school. I’ve ignored her long enough and now it was time for us to have a real conversation. I needed her to understand my side, and I would openly listen to hers. A child’s life was at stake and the way we were going about it was fucked all up. Sitting at the light, some shit was off. Before I could figure out what was going on, I saw her. I was confused on what was happening and by the time I figured it out, it was too late.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO SPARK

  I never understood niggas like Darryl. How you gone be fucking like you’re crazy, but then don’t want the baby when the chick gets pregnant. Yeah, I know I was looking like the thirsty bitch that thought a baby would keep my nigga, but that wasn’t it. I’ve lived with a family that lived on the brink every day. Their lives were never out of jeopardy. I’m assuming it was the same with his.

  My daddy never got his painting covered, because he always wanted to remember him fake dying. It was a reminder of how short life can be. I’ve heard stories of every last one of them almost losing their life. Even me. I was kidnapped when I was a baby and Uncle Face, took a lot of bullets to save me. He damn near didn’t make it. The life our families lived, it gave us no guarantee.

  I found love early and I would rather have a baby now, so that I could say I experienced it. Hell, two years from now, Darryl could die. My ass could die. People always tried our families and I just wanted insurance. How do I tell the nigga I loved, I wanted this baby because he was living his life like he didn’t give a fuck? His daddy don’t even know he selling drugs and shit. All I was trying to do was insure I would always have a piece of him.

  I wasn’t crazy or desperate, just in love. I was not expecting him to respond the way he did though. That shit hurt to hear the man you love, basically tell you to abort your child. It took everything in me not to cry. When that nigga put me out, I called an Uber and went straight to my car. When I saw his shit wasn’t out there, I smiled and realized he finally got smart.

  Needing some advice, I drove home to Chicago. I hadn’t heard from him in three days. I needed to get away and talk to someone that would understand what I needed. In situations like this, a girl needed her parents. The only problem was telling my daddy. I had no idea how he would respond, but I needed him to stay calm. I was already fucked up behind the shit Darryl did, I didn’t need him going in on me as well. When I pulled up, I got out praying this shit went as smoothly as I thought it was. My ass didn’t drive five hours for me to get my ass whooped.

  “Spark what are you doing here?” My mama was in the kitchen making lunch for my daddy and as soon as I hugged her, the tears came.

  “Mama, I’m pregnant. Darryl doesn’t want the baby and I don’t know what to do. I want to kill that nigga and from the looks of it, he wants to do the same to me.” Giving me a sympathetic look, I was ready for her words of wisdom.

  “You better pray your daddy want another baby in this house. I feel sorry for you baby, this nigga about to burn your uterus out. Have you lost all of your mind?” Looking shocked, that was not what I expected from her.

  “Ma, it was a mistake, but I want my baby.”

  “Mistake my ass, you could see all in your eyes you planned that shit. You better try to look cock eyed when you go in there to talk to Blaze. I can’t believe you would put that boy’s life in jeopardy like that. You bolder than I ever was. Matter fact, you take your daddy the food. I’m going to the store, just in case he blows this bitch up. Nigga been playing with grenades lately. Said he getting old and he can’t flick his Bic as fast. So, he trying to master flicking the pin in that shit. If he kills you, I’ll make sure you have the funeral of a lifetime.” I thought she was playing until she handed me the plate and grabbed her purse.

  “Ma.” She waved and walked her ass out of the house. “Scary ass. Shit don’t make no sense. How the entire damn family scared of one man with a damn lighter?” When I got to his office, that nigga was playing with a grenade for real and that same fear everyone else felt, I did too. This nigga didn’t have it all and you could see it all in his eyes.

  “What you doing here baby girl? I ain’t know you was coming. Is that for me?” Smiling, I handed him the plate and gave him a hug.

  “I just needed to talk to you. Before I tell you what’s going on, I need you to understand that I need my daddy, not Blaze. For once, I just want you to be my dad.” He gave me this intense look, and I prayed that shit worked. If not, my ass was dead and so was Darryl.

  “Okay.” He went to flicking his Bic and that shit made me nervous.

  “You know how much our family been through and I just didn’t want to live in those kind of what ifs. I know you wanted me to finish school, but it’s not like I have to. I’m pregnant daddy and I want to keep it.” His jaw line started moving fast as shit and all I could do was silently pray. He said nothing for what seemed like forever.

  “Spark, I didn’t want you to have the same life as me. I know I’m in your DNA and I’m grateful you took after me and not your mama, but this is not what I wanted for you. No, you don’t have to go to school because of the money we have, but I wanted you to be your own person. Not just the daughter of Blaze Hoover. When your baby gets older, what are you going to tell them? Mommy is successful, I’m Blaze’s daughter?” I understood his point, but hell, that’s who I was.

  “Daddy, did you try to improve your life for me? Even though you all have the clubs, you told me everything about my life. What’s the difference?”

  “The difference is…” He was about to yell, but he caught his self. “The difference baby girl, is I told you so you could be better. I thought you would see what we went through and choose differently. Yes, all you have ever seen was the jokes and the goofy Blaze. We protected you from the rest. When I was kidnapped, they told me your mama was pregnant. That shit killed me. To know I had a baby on the way and I would never be able to see it. The struggle I knew your mama was going to go through raising you alone. I wouldn’t wish that shit on nobody.

  That’s why I wanted you to go to school. To find someone else. A smart boy that wanted something with his life. I didn’t expect you to find the next crazy family and date their son. Don’t get me wrong, I like Darryl, but that is not who I would have picked for you. I would have wanted you to do better than us.”

  “Well, you don’t have to worry about that. He doesn’t want anything to do with this baby. He’s saying the same thing as you. We need to finish school and we have plenty of time. A bunch of bullshit.” My daddy looked me dead in the eyes and went against me for the first time in my life.

  “You’re selfish and only think about yourself. Always have. I remember when you were little, I took you with me on a hit I was sneaking and doing. I bribed you and gave you whatever you wanted not to tell. I made a mistake and burned your pony tail that time, and you told on me like I wasn’t shit. Your mama almost left me, but you didn’t care about that. Even when you knew she had left, you kept telling her more shit I had snuck and done. When you’re upset, you lose all reason. You don’t care who is hurt along the way. You just want what you want. I been telling you this since you were a baby, but you ain’t shit baby girl.”

  “You raised me, so what that make you?” I could tell I crossed the line and had hurt his feelings.

  “It makes me a nigga that sheltered your ass too much. Well, let me break it down for you like this. Did you ever think about that I might kill that boy? Then a nigga gotta go against Jesus. I’m no shooter, but he is. So, now I have to involve Quick. He has to say fuck his family to come get involved in some kid shit. That boy is trying to protect you, so that he can continue to date you, but you’re too selfish to think about the next mufucka. You want what you want.” Hearing him say it, made sense. Even th
ough Darryl told me the same thing, I thought he was just making excuses.

  “Daddy I’m sorry. You were the best father ever and I know I fuck up a lot. I don’t know how to fix this though. I don’t want an abortion, but I don’t want to lose him either.”

  “I’m sure he is more concerned about the war than anything, so I’ll go with you to talk to him. If he knows that I am okay with it, he will open up more to the idea of the baby. Just know, I am disappointed in you. I thought you would be smarter than me, but I won’t hold your mistake over you.”

  “Thank you daddy. I’m so sorry.” We got up to leave and he swooped my legs fast as hell. I hit the ground and this nigga stood over me looking.

  “Is the baby still in there?”

  “Daddy what the fuck?”

  “I’m just saying, if you lost it by mistake, problem solved. Since it’s still there, get your dumb ass off the floor and let’s go. I don’t have time for all the dumb shit and I’m not trying to play match maker. Nobody told your nasty ass to be fucking and shit. Bring your simple ass on before I burn your ass.” Smiling, I wrapped my arms around him. Blaze was back, but I was grateful he gave me my daddy when I needed him. Getting in the car, I let him drive.

  “Daddy, you not gone tell mama where you going? It’s not like you’re going around the corner.?

  “No baby girl. If your mama knew I was gone be gone all that time, she will have a slip and slide holiday. I will never give your mama that much time and lee way to let that cat free.”

  “What did mama do that make you like this with her? You been calling her Loosey for as long as I can remember. Did she cheat on you?” Shrugging his shoulders, you could tell all the jokes was really his way of dealing with it. I think that shit bothered him for real.