Tactical Submission: A Windsor Club Story

by Ada Maria Soto

  He tried to swallow again and winced at the pain. There was no way of reaching the water without either waking up Isaac or getting out of bed and walking all the way around it. He wasn't sure if he could walk. The muscles in his legs were twitching. He groaned and Isaac opened his eyes.

  "Hello. Are you waking up or going back to sleep?"

  Jack opened his mouth to respond, even though he was pretty sure he couldn't make words happen. Nothing came out except for a rough half cough.

  "Let's get you some water."

  He could have cried in relief as Isaac poured a glass and held it to his lips. He wanted to gulp it down but all he could manage was a series of tiny sips. Isaac stroked his head. "It's okay. Go at the pace you need. We're in no rush. No need to do anything."

  He closed his eyes again.

  No rush.

  He still had a night and a day of this if he wanted. He could say stop. He could call a halt to it all. It was more than he'd ever done. He'd done overnights in a hotel but nothing this long. Twelve hours at the most. And it wasn't just the time. He'd never gone this far before. Oh, he'd sunk down, come close but not like this, not to the point when he truly no longer recognized his own body or mind. He'd never felt that wild, that desperate for more. It was terrifying and he ached. His body ached but already his mind wanted more. Isaac had said it wasn't a drug but at that moment it felt like it. Like he could easily stay like this forever. Bound, fucked, serving, but being fed sips of water and petted like something precious.

  He sipped some more water simply focusing on the way it soothed the burn in his throat. Time was still drifting in a way. Isaac gave him sips of water or juice and petted him. When he glanced at the alarm clock on the dresser he was surprised to find it was after seven. His stomach rumbled. Isaac smiled.

  "Hungry?"

  Jack nodded. "Yes."

  "Getting your voice back?"

  "Yes."

  "How are you feeling?"

  "Sore. Quiet."

  "Feeling quiet is good. Too Sore?"

  "No.

  Isaac held him close and ran his fingers through his hair. He pushed into the touch like a cat. Isaac chuckled. "Think you're up for dinner?"

  "I think so."

  "I want to feed you on your knees again if you'll let me."

  "Okay."

  "It's just that you are amazingly sexy eating out of my fingers and I'd like to see you do it at least a few more times before Monday."

  Jack wasn't sure what to say. He was never good with compliments so he defaulted to a simple 'yes, sir'.

  "Let's see if you can stand up." Isaac got out of bed first, giving Jack space to roll over and get his feet on the floor. He stood slowly. His legs wobbled at first but he took a few steps and felt the strength return. He couldn't say he felt normal. His ass ached, clearly reminding him how much he'd had shoved up there. And his balls ached after being drained over and over. But it was all a good ache. It fed something warm deep in the back of his mind.

  "Got your legs under you?"

  "Yes."

  "Why don't you use the bathroom while I start dinner? How does steak sound?"

  His stomach rumbled again. "It sounds great."

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Isaac pulled on his pants and grabbed a few things from the closet before heading to the kitchen. There were only a couple of really nice dinners he could make that could be done quickly and be hand fed to someone. Steak, green beans and sliced heirloom tomatoes was his best.

  First thing he did though, was open a can of Fancy Feast. It wouldn't prevent Murrcat from trying to steal food, but he'd be less demanding about it if he'd already been fed. He heard the cat flap bang open and wondered if anyone had ever done research as to how far away a hungry cat could hear the sound of a can opening. It was like the auditory equivalent of a shark smelling blood.

  He pulled out the steaks and veg as Jack came in. He paused by the kitchen table eyeing up the things Isaac had left there.

  "Can you slice the tomatoes into wedges?" Isaac held up the large purple tomatoes he'd gotten at the farmers’ market.

  "Sure." Jack gave the things on the table one last look before taking the tomatoes and standing in front of the cutting board.

  "How do you like your steak?"

  "Um… Medium rare leaning on the rare side."

  "Good, me to." Isaac had gotten two thick scotch fillets that would take time to cook, even rare. He handed Jack the beans to get ready while he spiced the steaks. They worked mostly in quiet and it was nice. He'd found that the ability to simply be quiet with someone was nearly as important as the ability to talk to them.

  Once the beans were in the steamer and the steaks were settled into the cast iron pan, he turned to Jack. "How are you feeling?"

  "Good." Jack frowned. "You keep asking me that."

  "Yes. It's important. If you're not feeling good, especially after we've been doing something intense, then I've probably done something wrong. The whole point of aftercare is to make sure the nice up feeling of a scene doesn't turn into a hard and ugly crash."

  Jack's eyes flicked to the floor and he didn't respond. Isaac growled in his head, but was careful to keep the emotions off his face. There really should be some sort of professional type registration and certification process for Doms that included testing and regular recertification. And where you could file complaints if you found subs that hadn't been receiving proper aftercare, at least not regularly. Massage therapists had to do it and they weren't sticking their hands up peoples' butts. Usually.

  "Did you like it when I hand fed you at breakfast?"

  "Yes."

  "I'd like to do that again. You are very attractive on your knees, and not because it makes you seem smaller. If anything, it highlights your strength." Isaac pushed on, not giving Jack room to respond. "I also want to tie you up. Nothing overly constrictive. More decorative than anything else."

  "Yes, sir." Jack's cock was swelling again, which after the previous twenty-four hours he would have believed was impossible.

  "Good. There are rules about sex in the kitchen. They've been broken a few times but we try not to."

  "I used to have my Massachusetts Food Safety Certification."

  Isaac flipped the stakes over, bringing a fresh round of sizzling from the stove. "So, no real life hot barista fantasies for you."

  "I didn't have any workmates who weren't at least a decade older than me, and lesbians."

  Isaac grinned. "Tell me this place still exists because next conference in Boston I'm going there."

  "It exists. I stopped by to say hi last Christmas and ended up working a nine-hour shift."

  Isaac wasn't much of one for role play but some ideas involving coffee, whipped cream, and candy canes were bubbling up. He turned off the steak. "Those need a few minutes to rest. Plenty of time."

  He led Jack over to the table where the pillow still sat from breakfast, though now it was occupied. "That's not yours." Murrcat opened one eye, stared at Isaac then closed it again. He gave the pillow a nudge with his foot. "Shoo you brat. Don't think I won't cut off the Fancy Feast supply. You'll be on dry kibble." He gave the pillow another nudge. Murrcat got up with a long slow stretch, making it very clear that it was his idea to move and he was in no way giving in to name calling and threats. "Nothing like a cat to undermine your authority and remind you of your true place in the universe."

  Jack was failing to keep a smile off his face.

  "Put your hands behind your head." Isaac picked up the short coil of rope he'd brought. Under it was a large stainless steel anal hook. Jack's eyes locked onto that. "Just going to do a simple chest harness to start." It was one of the first bits of rope work Isaac had ever learned how to do. He even did it on himself once to prove a point. The rope highlighted Jack's well developed pecks and left a strong handle between his shoulder blades. He didn't fully tie off the ends of the rope. He grabbed the hook off the table next, taking note of Jack’s erect cock and the way hi
s body was relaxing. He wished he had the space and rigging to do some serious rope work with Jack. He obviously got off on it.

  "Ever used one of these?" He held up the hook.

  "No, sir."

  "Know how it works?"

  Jack nodded and looked down, his cheeks flushing. "Yes, sir."

  "Good. Put your hands on the table."

  Jack leaned forward, and with a squirt of lube Isaac slowly inserted the business end of the hook. It wasn't a particularly thick one, with only one ball at the end. But like all steal it was unyielding. Jack gasped and his lower back tensed. Isaac rubbed it until he began to relax. He threaded the leftover bits of rope through the top of the hook securing it in place. Then gripping the harness, led Jack to his knees. He gasped at each small move and his eyes were already becoming unfocused. He finished the look by securing Jack's wrists at the small of his back.

  The end effect was of a proudly displayed chest and perfect posture.

  "Perfect." He held his fingertips to Jack's lips. Jack licked at them delicately. "Save that thought. I'm going to dish up."

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The hook was making Jack aware of every muscle twitch in his body. The smallest shift either pulled it in deeper or stimulated him in a way that left him close to cumming. Isaac had said perfect. He didn't feel perfect, not with the way the energy in his body was building up, making him feel itchy. He wanted Isaac to touch him. His nipples in particular, were craving touch. He'd never encountered that before. Not like this.

  Isaac sat at the table, turning sideways in the chair, and held a piece of steak to his lips. It was warm and rare with a hint of pepper and he licked the juice that covered Isaac's fingers. He grounded himself on the flavor of each small bite he was fed, and the texture of Isaac's fingers as he licked them clean. At one point he felt a furry face claiming his feet as territory, but the cat was shooed away.

  Isaac gave little murmurs and words of praise each time Jack cleaned his fingers. He began running his tongue down Isaac's palm. As the meal was finished Isaac pressed two fingers to his lips and Jack sucked them in hard.

  "Shit. Okay, I'm going with the 90's presidential definition of sex." Isaac pulled his fingers from Jack's mouth and undid his own pants. Jack leaned forward, pulling the hook in deep, and took Isaac's cock in his mouth. "Fucking perfect." Jack never understood why this felt as right as it did. The smell, the heat, the taste, the weight on his tongue and the steady hand on the back of his head. "Swallow every drop." Jack bobbed his head, taking in as much as he could each time. He wished he could wrap his hands around the rest. Or better yet suck it all in, but it was a trick he'd never mastered. Not that he'd ever given himself much chance to learn it.

  Isaac slid his hips closer to the edge of the chair. Jack slid himself back to accommodate and gasped. The angle was wrong or maybe right. With every bob of his head it felt like he was being deep fucked. He whimpered and tried to ignore it. Tried to focus on his task. Tried to squeeze down enough so the hook wouldn't move, but that made it worse. He wriggled his hips but it was no use. The cock in his mouth was overwhelming two of his senses. His eyes were squeezed shut. He could barely hear over the sound of his own heart thumping, and the shifting of the hook was relentless. He was going to cum. There was a bizarre feedback loop going in his brain and he couldn't stop it. Stop.

  Suddenly Isaac's cock was gone from his mouth and Isaac was kneeling in front of him.

  "What's wrong?"

  Jack couldn't answer. He was about to ask the same thing.

  "I felt you say stop. What's wrong?"

  "Going to cum. Can't— Couldn't stop. Shouldn't—" Shame burned through him. First simple rule. Don't cum unless told. They both looked down. Cum was still sliding in slow spirts from Jack’s cock even though he hadn't orgasmed.

  "It's okay."

  Jack shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. It was not okay.

  "It's okay." Isaac stroked his back. "You didn't do it on purpose. And you said stop when you thought something was wrong."

  No, Jack thought. Should have been better. Jack shook his head.

  Isaac grabbed his chin and forced his head up. "Look at me and understand me. You have done nothing wrong. Accidents happen. Do you understand?"

  Jack nodded but couldn't say he believed it.

  "Lean forward and put your head on my shoulder. I'm going to untie you now."

  Jack pressed his forehead to Isaac's shoulder. He wanted to cry. There was the crush of shame, the sting of fresh forgiveness, and an undertow of frustration born from an orgasm that didn't happen.

  His arms were released first. He let them flop at his sides. The hook was removed slowly. He hissed and it clanked on the floor. The rest of the ropes were easily loosened and removed, Isaac stroking each freshly revealed piece of skin.

  "There we go," he whispered as the last of the rope hit the floor. "Sit back on your knees again for me." Jack rolled back, keenly aware of how empty he felt. Isaac took the napkins from the table and cleaned up the sticky cum that had covered his belly and thighs.

  "That couldn't have been very satisfying. I know ruined orgasms can leave someone even more on edge. That's not what we're going for here. Can you stand up?"

  Jack stood slowly, his legs shaking from the time spent on his knees. "Come on. Let's go lay down for a bit."

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  He was proud of Jack. Proud that he was able to say stop when something was wrong, even if he wasn't fully aware he was doing it. He was also annoyed at himself. He had not intended for things to go this way. Jack had handled far more in terms of stimulation and it hadn't even occurred to him that it was likely to happen in the middle of a blowjob. The hook was meant to tease, certainly, but he hadn't intended to push Jack into a ruined orgasm. He didn't believe in setting subs up to fail and he didn't want Jack to think he had done that.

  Then there was Jack's reaction. He had looked so guilt ridden and defeated, like he was about to cry. He was probably expecting some sort of punishment. Yes, not cumming without permission was a pretty standard rule in this kind of situation, but it wasn't like Jack had grabbed his own cock. If there was one thing Isaac had learned as a doctor, it was that sometimes the human body does what it wants and gives your mind little choice in the matter.

  "Let's lay down on the bed. I want to hold you. It's still early."

  Jack lay down but his body was stiff and his muscles tense. Isaac curled up next to him and started running fingers through his hair. He said nothing and felt Jack growing tenser by the moment.

  "I'm sorry," Isaac started. Jack shook his head. "No. It was not my intention for you to be in a situation where you would be overstimulated to the point you were. I wanted to tease you but I should have paid closer attention to what was happening. I apologize for this. It's on me. Understand?"

  Jack was still for a long time before he nodded. Isaac was sure that nod was a lie, but it would be hard to call Jack out on it.

  "You've never done this before have you? Spent this long so deep."

  "No," Jack whispered.

  "It does build up, especially the first time. If it's gotten to be too much you can say so. I'll understand. We can spend tomorrow relaxing, go out for breakfast. You can go home if you feel you need to."

  Jack shook his head.

  "Okay." He hugged Jack close. "I want this to be a positive time for you. I want you to wake up Monday morning feeling more strong and sure about yourself than you ever have before. And I want you to be able to trust me enough that you'd be willing to do this again. I'm sorry I misstepped."

  Jack nodded again before pressing his face against Isaac's shoulder.

  There was nothing but his hot breath for a long time before he heard Jack speak. It was muffled beyond where he could make out any words.

  "If you want to tell me something you're going to have to raise your head."

  Jack became still, then slowly raised his head. "It was like a feedback loop. Like putting a mic i
n front of speakers. The more I sucked made it feel like there was more in me and I couldn't move in a way that didn't…" Jack petered off.

  "So, you like the idea of having cock in both ends." Isaac said trying to shift Jack's thoughts away from what had happened.

  Jack flushed and his nod was small. "When I'm… deep, the things I want are more and different and… more. Like there are two mes, almost but not."

  Isaac had heard similar things before, especially from men in high power, high responsibility jobs. Some even used different names, not for anonymity but to separate out the part of themselves that didn't fit with how they thought the world saw them. He'd seen it lead to some nasty self-loathing and destructive habits.

  "There's only one of you. You just have slightly more complex and layered desires than those dull mundane people walking around out there. It's one more thing that makes you interesting."

  "I'm not interesting."

  "Yes, you are. You're an ex-army SWAT commander who used to be a hippy shop barista and somewhere along the line you memorized the Library of Congress cataloging system."

  "Not the whole system." Jack mumbled. "Just the first couple layers of categories."

  "That's still something that makes you stand out. You're more than just a cute smile and a tight bod. You've got some solid brain power going on up there." He tapped the top of Jack's head. Jack shook his head and buried his face back into Isaac's shoulder.

  And there we have intellectual inferiority complex. Probably been called a dumb jock a few times too many.

  He held back a sigh and stroked his fingers down Jack's still tense back.

  He could feel Jack's frustration in the way his muscles twitched under his skin. He was obviously not a man who handled failure well, perceived or real, but he knew few in law enforcement who did. He'd kicked some trash cans and hit the bar early himself, when a bad guy got off. He'd seen Lydia spend a hundred bucks on cheap dishes and glassware, just so she could go out and smash them. Any lingering fears from Friday’s meth explosion were probably not helping.