by Tara Sue Me
She brushed her hair and couldn’t help but fiddle with her brush. It was flat and square and perfect for administering a spanking. She reached back and ran the bristle side over her butt cheeks. Would he spank her with that side?
Flipping it over, she ran the wooden base along her thighs and slipped it between them. Would he spank her there?
Curious, she spread her legs wider and gave herself a slap with it. Ow. But it didn’t sting that much, and she knew it probably wasn’t the same as someone doing it to her. Sort of like the pretend hands.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t anyone around to spank her, so she’d have to do it to herself.
She closed her eyes and tried to imagine a situation where Simon was spanking her. What would she have done for him to spank her? He had only spanked her once when they were together, and that had been for fun. Would he do it harder if it were a real punishment?
That one time he’d spanked her, he’d used his hand, and while it had felt good, she couldn’t help but wish he’d done it harder. Looking back now, she realized she should have told him, but at the time she was embarrassed. Who actually said to someone, “Sorry, but could you spank me harder?”
It was frustrating as hell, because no matter how hard or how many times she spanked herself with the brush, it just wasn’t good enough. Unsatisfied, she put the brush away and stepped into the shower, knowing her vibrator would leave her unsatisfied tonight and not for the first time.
• • •
“Master Neal,” Luke DeVaan said from his place at the front desk of his BDSM club. “Haven’t seen you here lately. Glad you decided to stop by.”
Simon plastered a fake grin on his face. He hadn’t planned to stop by the club, but following Nathaniel’s visit, he had felt compelled to come. Needed the release he knew he’d find. “I decided it’s been far too long since I allowed myself the release that follows a hard scene.”
Luke didn’t pass any kind of judgment or look at him like he was a freak. That was the comforting welcome of this club. Here, he fit in.
Luke pulled up a screen on his computer. “There are several single subs here tonight who would likely be a good match for you.”
Simon cringed. A good match for you. But of course Luke would know what he was, and being a responsible club owner, he would want to ensure any submissive who agreed to play with Simon knew anything pertinent about him as well.
“Thanks,” Simon said. “But I think I’m going to observe for a while.”
Simon bade Luke good-bye and stepped into the comforting familiarity of sex and leather. His body relaxed as he breathed in the air tinged with arousal and need.
Yes, he’d made the right choice in coming tonight. He needed this. It’d been far too long. His gaze swept across the room, taking in who was present and who was available. He recognized a few subs. Most of them he’d never seriously consider playing with, but there were a few he’d taken before.
He took a seat at the bar and ordered the one drink he was allowed per night. He’d planned to use the time at the bar to scope out a willing partner, but every woman he looked at reminded him of Lynne.
Lynne. Fuck. She was here in New York. So close and yet farther away than she’d been when she was in Delaware. Nathaniel said she wasn’t interested in membership at the club, but what if she changed her mind? What if she showed up?
He’d stay away from her—that was what he knew he should do.
But another part of him, a more honest part, knew he wouldn’t be able to. She’d look up at him with those wide, innocent eyes that had first caught his attention when they’d met in person after chatting online for two months. Just one look and he’d been a goner. And he knew it’d be the same way if she showed up in his life again.
He needed to get her out of his system. And fast.
Standing, he nodded at a nearby submissive who’d been watching him since he walked in. He knew her. Knew she could take him. At his nod, she approached him and dropped to her knees before him, her head bowed.
“Are you free tonight, girl?” he asked.
“Yes, Sir,” she replied.
“Are you willing to submit to me tonight?”
“Yes, Sir.”
She’d been with him before; she knew how he was, what he liked, what he needed. But he had to make sure.
“I’m going to hurt you.”
Her only response was a breathy “Yes, please, Sir.”
Chapter Two
On Sunday Lynne was merely bored, but by Monday she knew she had to get out of the penthouse or she’d go crazy. What she needed, she decided, was new lingerie. Lingerie always made everything better.
As far as addictions went, she thought her obsession with lingerie was relatively harmless. She limited how much she spent, though it did help that the Wests paid her well. And she usually tried to buy when the designers were having a sale. No one else knew about her addiction, because her love life was nonexistent.
Late Monday morning, she called for a cab and made her way to what had been her favorite shop for upscale lingerie when she lived in the city. She felt like a kid at Christmas, thinking about what she’d look for. Knowing she had sexy things on underneath her clothes always made her feel more confident and secure. For her first week of school, she thought a simple bra and panty set would work.
Once she made it into the store, she waved hello to the sales associate on the floor, smiling brightly when the woman scurried over to her.
“Lynne! I thought you had fallen off the face of the earth. Where have you been?” She leaned closer and whispered, “You missed our annual clearance sale. That’s not like you.”
“I know. It killed me to miss it. I’m living in Delaware now, but I’m here in the city for the summer.”
“Delaware?” The saleslady looked at her in shock. “Why?”
“Job. The law firm I was working at let a lot of people go.” She shrugged. “I was one of them. But I have a great job now, and I love it. Delaware has been nice.”
“As long as you’re happy.” She pointed toward the back of the store. “Got some new corsets you should check out.”
“I’ll go look.” She adored corsets. Maybe she should get a corset and forget the bra and panties. Either way, it didn’t hurt to look. She walked to the corset display, surprised to find another customer already there. Not wanting to disturb her, she scooted behind her to look at the corsets to her left.
“Lynne?”
She stiffened and turned in surprise. “Anna Beth?”
The tall woman with dark hair stood with one hand on her hip. “Look what the cat dragged in. It is you.”
Lynne gritted her teeth. She supposed she should have felt a fondness toward Anna Beth. After all, Anna Beth was the one who’d given her the final push to actually attempt the BDSM lifestyle. But Lynne didn’t. The woman was a total bitch.
Anna Beth’s look was cruel. “You still reading those ridiculous books, or did you become woman enough to handle a real Dom?”
Lynne would never forget the day Anna Beth had caught her reading a BDSM romance in the employee break room. She’d shaken her head and said reading about it was fine, but living it was so much better. She then went on to brag about hot Dom after hot scene after hot sex, shutting up only when the break room was invaded by a senior partner. Later that afternoon, Anna Beth had left a card on Lynne’s desk with the name and address of the club she frequented.
There had been no way in hell Lynne would want to go to Anna Beth’s club. Instead, she had gone home and joined an online BDSM group. From there she’d met Simon. She supposed she had Anna Beth to thank, and she hated feeling like she was indebted to her.
“Actually,” Lynne said, “I broke up with my Dom. I’ve moved to Delaware and didn’t want to do a long-distance thing.”
It wasn’t the truth, but she wasn’t about to say Simon didn’t think she was submissive, and besides, Anna Beth would never know any different.
“Delaware?�
�� Anna Beth’s nose wrinkled. “Why the hell would you move from New York City to Delaware?”
“The firm let me go, remember? I had to go where I could find work.”
“Too bad you don’t work in IT like I do. Two words: job security.” She cocked her head to the side. “So, why are you here today?”
“I’m taking classes this summer.”
Anna Beth’s eyes rolled. “Not here in the city, doofus. Here in this store.”
Why was she still standing there, letting Anna Beth talk to her like she was? Because she was too damn nice—that’s why. “I’m just looking.”
“Me too. I’m looking for something my Dom will like.”
The bitch had a Dom. Lynne almost felt sorry for him. “That’s nice.”
Apparently, that was all the encouragement Anna Beth needed. “We haven’t been together long. We’ve played together a few times, but Saturday he came in and sat at the bar, like he was looking for someone. Then he looked at me and said, ‘Come here, girl’ in this sexy-as-fuck voice.” She stopped talking for a minute and fanned herself.
Lynne really didn’t need or want the play-by-play. “Good for you. I’m glad you found someone.” And may the Lord have mercy on his soul.
Anna Beth nodded. “Rumor is he’s hung up on his last girlfriend, who must’ve been a real bitch, but after that scene? Let’s just say it’s time for him to forget her, and I’m the one who’s going to see to it that he does.”
Lynne had no doubt she could do it. She remembered her as stubborn as all get out in the office, never taking no for an answer. Glancing at the black lace corset in the other woman’s hands, she didn’t think any man alive would stand a chance against Anna Beth. Putting them both together was a deadly combination. “I’m sure you’ll have him on his knees in that corset.”
But Anna Beth shook her head. “I’m not about to have him on his knees. That defeats the purpose. As long as I’m on my knees, that’s all I care about.”
Lynne didn’t bother to tell her it was a figure of speech. Instead, she decided she’d been friendly enough and could leave without seeming rude. “Good luck with that. I hope it works out. See you around.”
Anna Beth’s eyes lit up. “The thing is, he’s a sadist.”
She paused as if waiting for Lynne to show some sign of shock, but it didn’t come as a surprise to Lynne. She’d been around the Wests, as well as their friends, long enough that she knew BDSM was practiced in many different ways.
She’d heard Nathaniel once talk about a submissive he’d played with before he met Abby. That relationship hadn’t lasted long, he’d said, because the woman had needed more pain than he felt comfortable giving. Lynne respected him for that, though she always wondered about the sub. What exactly were her limits? How far did she want to go?
And sometimes, in the dark of night, she wanted to taste that world.
“Nice,” Lynne said.
“It’s beyond nice. It’s incredible.” Anna Beth’s eyes grew dreamy as she talked about the scene. “He was so careful. First, he used a flogger, and from there, he went to a whip. Damn. Just thinking about it makes me horny as hell. Of course, it hurt, too, but that made it so much better. Because the pleasure that came after was like nothing I’ve ever experienced.”
Lynne believed her. It was easy to tell from her blissed-out smile that she was telling the truth. Seeing Anna Beth so happy and content made Lynne just the tiniest bit jealous. But she stuffed that inside, refusing to let it take hold. One look at Anna Beth, though, made it clear she wouldn’t have noticed anyway. She was too lost in her memories or, by the way she fingered the corset, her future plans. She snapped back to the present and looked irritated that she’d said so much.
“Not that I expect you to understand. I mean, seriously, you’re basically still a newbie. A sadist would eat you for breakfast.” Anna Beth laughed and turned to leave. “See ya!”
After Anna Beth left with her purchases, Lynne wandered around the store, not as excited as she’d been before. She didn’t want to look at the corsets, and the bra and panty sets now seemed boring. She blinked back tears. Shopping for lingerie was stupid anyway. No one would ever see it on her. What did it matter?
She couldn’t hold back the memories of the few times she’d undressed for Simon. The way his sharp eyes had traveled up and down her body, taking her all in. At the time she’d felt as if he were memorizing her. Had he? Did he ever think back to their time together . . . and if he did, would he remember how she’d stripped for him?
No matter how many times she told herself it was time to move on, she found she couldn’t. She’d tried pursuing a vanilla relationship after Simon, and halfway into the date, she’d known it wouldn’t work. Though she knew numerous people in BDSM circles who would have jumped at the chance to set her up with someone, her heart wasn’t in it if it wasn’t Simon. Instead, she’d settled for neither kink nor vanilla. Anytime she felt lonely, she’d remember how it had all started.
They had chatted online for two months before she’d agreed to meet him in person. Even then, she’d met him in a public place and had a friend go with her. Most people she’d mentioned her meeting to had told her she was out of her mind to meet a guy she knew only from the Internet.
At times before they first met, she’d thought she might be crazy to have said yes. She only had to watch the news to hear all about how easy it could be to open yourself up to danger. But she didn’t feel in any danger with Simon. Ever. He had a calming presence about him that immediately set her at ease.
The day they’d met in person, finally, he’d asked her to dinner, and though her friend had gone with them, she’d ended up leaving before the entrées arrived. Simon had been kind, and later, when they’d progressed to where they’d talked about BDSM, he was patient and gentle.
Which was why it had come as such a surprise when he’d broken up with her.
She often thought back to their time together, trying desperately to figure out what she’d done wrong. He’d known from the beginning that she had no experience as a submissive. They had even gone to Nathaniel and Abby’s Hamptons estate to watch a scene. She had been mesmerized by the two of them. And when it was over, Nathaniel had carried Abby out of the room and Simon had taken her out to their pool and they’d talked.
It was that day that she’d finally begun to understand and accept that she was a submissive at her core. She’d told Simon the same thing and he’d looked so happy.
Yet it wasn’t but a few months later that he’d left.
“Lynne?”
She looked up. The saleslady was watching her with worried eyes. “Are you okay? Do you need help finding something?”
Lynne looked around. Somehow, she’d made it to the pajama section. Strange. While she loved pretty undergarments, she’d never bought fancy pajamas before.
Suddenly, she knew exactly what she was going to buy. It was time for something new. Time for her to leave the past behind and move forward. It was time for a new Lynne. And New Lynne wore naughty pajamas to bed.
She turned and smiled at the saleslady. “Actually, you can help me find something.”
• • •
Simon answered the phone on the second ring without looking to see who it was. “Hello.”
“Master Neal,” a familiar voice answered.
“Master DeVaan?” Simon asked with a frown. Luke calling him was almost as unexpected as Nathaniel coming by. At least this time he knew the conversation wouldn’t be about Lynne.
“Sorry to bother you at work, but there’s a situation at the club I wanted to make you aware of.”
“Okay.” Simon tried to imagine what could possibly need his attention. After all, his visit almost a week before had been his first in months.
“Last Saturday night, you ran a scene with a sub by the name of Anna Beth?”
He had. It wasn’t the first time he’d played with Anna Beth. She knew what to expect, and she always kept things uncomplicated. T
he club members knew he wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship.
“Yes,” he said, answering Luke. “Is something wrong with her?” He hadn’t hurt her, had he? He’d been so careful, cutting the scene short when he’d noticed she wasn’t into it, and he’d extended her aftercare. But what if he’d missed or overlooked something? Had he hurt her and not known it? Had he let the scene go too far before he’d stopped?
That’s why you shouldn’t go to the clubs, you freak. You’re going to really hurt someone one of these days.
“No,” Luke said, putting his mind at ease. “Nothing of the sort. In fact, quite the opposite.”