Love Burns

by Adrian J. Smith

  Dropping the squash onto the counter, she wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on her thighs and headed for the table. She glanced at Michael to make sure he was still sleeping, then she sat right next to Becca, pulling out her chair at an angle so she could see Becca fully.

  Becca paused, skimming her gaze up and down Kimberly’s form. Kimberly begged for the flush starting in her toes not to reach her cheeks, but she was fairly certain her body had betrayed her and that she was outed. Biting her lip, she started. “Look… I want you to be comfortable here. I don’t want this”—she waved a hand between them—“whatever this is, which is really nothing, I guess, to be an issue. Michael loves you, and I want you to stay on as his nanny.”

  Popping another chip in her mouth, Becca chomped down. Kimberly squelched her nerves when she was unable to read Becca’s mannerisms. Was she angry? In disbelief? Concerned still? Or…what? Kimberly had no idea. She sighed and leaned back in her chair. That move seemed to have caught Becca’s attention, as she raked her gaze up and down Kimberly’s form again.

  Kimberly shivered. She stared directly at Becca until their eyes locked in a silent battle. Kimberly dared Becca to say something, anything. Becca shrugged and turned back to her chips. The indifference in Becca was infuriating. Kimberly gave in and grabbed her hand, wrapping her fingers around Becca’s.

  “I don’t want this to be hard, and I don’t want either of us to be walking on eggshells.”

  “Okay,” Becca answered.

  Kimberly nearly rolled her eyes at the one-word answer, but she stopped herself in time. She didn’t understand why Becca was being so childish. It seemed very out of the norm for her. Giving up, Kimberly released Becca’s hand and decided she would have to be the one to make the concerted effort.

  Plastering a smile on her face, Kimberly shifted in her seat as if she were about to get up. Becca followed her every move. “I’m just going to go chop, and chop, and chop some more for prepping dinner tonight because this”—she held up her finally brace-free wrist—“is no longer hindering my mastery.”

  Becca snorted. Kimberly, pleased to have finally gotten a more normal response from Becca, pushed herself to stand and went to the kitchen. She finished sorting far more quickly than she had anticipated. As Becca was headed to her room, Michael woke up. He jumped off the couch when he saw her and gave her a hug like he hadn’t seen her in weeks.

  Kimberly furrowed her forehead at him when he waved his hand down to whisper in Becca’s ear. She turned her head to him and asked, “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah!” he replied, excitedly, his voice going up in pitch as he barely stayed flat on his feet. “I think I’m ready.”

  “Okay, go get it.”

  Michael ran off, and Becca turned on her toes and headed for the couch, putting herself on one side of it. She raised her chin toward Kimberly, who was watching carefully, and beckoned her over.

  “You’ll want to see this,” Becca called. “Come grab a seat.”

  Kimberly was about to sit on the far end of the couch when Michael came bounding back. As soon as he got to the couch, he pointed to the spot next to Becca. “You sit there.”

  “All right, then.” Kimberly sat down, her thigh brushing against Becca’s. Shots of electricity went through her that she tried her best to ignore. Michael sat next to her and curled slightly in her lap. He placed a book on her legs and opened the first page.

  Kimberly waited, curious as to what he was going to do next. He glanced at Becca, who gave an encouraging nod and smile.

  “One word at a time, kiddo,” she whispered.

  He nodded and put his finger down on the thick-board book, tracking it from left to right. “Mama wakes me up. Mommy cooks me food.”

  Kimberly jerked in surprise. Michael continued, turning from page to page, stumbling here and there, but then sounding out each word carefully and precisely until he got it. Becca only helped him twice. Kimberly wisely kept silent as she listened to her little boy read. She was all-out impressed with what he’d been able to learn in such a short period of time.

  When he finished, Kimberly grabbed him by the cheeks and pulled him in for a big kiss on each one. Then she put her forehead to his and held in the tears threatening to spill over. “That was amazing, kiddo. Beautiful, even. When did you learn all that?”

  “Becca taught me,” he answered, grinning up at both of them as wide as he could. “She’s a good teacher.”

  “That she is,” Kimberly answered, turning her gaze onto Becca and smiling at her. She was completely warm inside, a feeling she hadn’t felt in years, since very early on with Bradley. Closing her eyes and pressing her nose into Michael’s hair, Kimberly smiled again and shook her head. “Thank you, Becca. Really. I never could have taught him to do that and really never in that short period of time. You’ve been amazing for him.”

  Becca blushed, her cheeks reddening as she looked down at her hands in her lap. Kimberly wanted to keep praising her but got the sense that it might fall on deaf ears. Becca wasn’t the sort to take praise well, and she wanted to make sure Becca heard her when she spoke.

  Turning to Michael, Kimberly told him to put his book away and that when they got back from the restaurant, he could read to her all he wanted while they cooked. Grinning again, Michael ran to his room. Kimberly got up and slipped her shoes on as Becca disappeared into her bedroom.

  * * * *

  Becca pulled up her email once again and opened one of the more recent ones she had gotten that morning. She read every word again, her heart breaking at the words. She was not accepted for student teaching at her top-choice school. Perhaps she had waited too long to really look and apply, seeing as how most applications had needed to be in before the end of spring semester, which had already passed.

  Rubbing her eyes, she leaned against her headboard and dropped her head back with her eyes closed. She’d read the email over a dozen times that day. It had put her in such a sour mood that she was glad Kimberly was home to watch Michael, so she could wallow alone in her ocean of self-pity.

  She had scurried into the kitchen for dinner then holed up in her room. It was dark. She’d heard the argument between Kimberly and Michael over first bath then bed. She’d ignored it as she attempted to study. She might be reading the text, but she certainly wasn’t retaining any of the information.

  Groaning, Becca gave up and tossed her book on the floor in a fit of frustration. Leaning back on the comfortable bed, she turned on her television and zoned out to whatever was on. If asked, she probably couldn’t even tell anyone what had happened.

  The knock on her door was a surprise. She checked her watch, noting it was late. Furrowing her forehead, she muted the television and sat up, trying to make herself look a bit more presentable. She finally called, “Come in.”

  Kimberly opened the door, her wider stature almost filling the frame as she dared to take a step in. “Got a minute?”

  Nodding, Becca curled her legs under her to sit cross-legged and invited Kimberly all the way in with a wave of her hand. Kimberly shut the door behind her, and Becca immediately regretted it. She had been trying her best over the last few weeks to stay as far away from Kimberly as possible. She worried that if they were to get too close—like that afternoon reading session—she wouldn’t be able to help herself.

  Kimberly sat on the bed.

  With only the blanket, their clothes and not enough space separating them, Becca’s heartbeat turned up a few notches. She was sure Kimberly would be able to hear it if she listened close enough. Swallowing, Becca turned her head to the side and tried to will Kimberly to get on with whatever it was.

  “I wanted to thank you again for teaching Michael to read. I really appreciate all you do with him.”

  “Oh?” Becca hadn’t expected the conversation to take that turn. “It’s no problem. I enjoy teaching, obviously.”

  “Yes.”

  Kimberly smiled, but it looked more like a grimace. Her beautiful warm-honeyed eyes s
tared straight through Becca, and Becca was sure she could read everything racing through her thick brain.

  “You’re very good at teaching. I’ve tried to teach him to read a few words here and there, but he never could quite get it. He’d just get frustrated and quit after the second try.”

  Becca chuckled. “Well, he wanted to quit plenty of times when I was teaching him, too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. But we worked on it for small chunks multiple times throughout the day. I’d tell him he’d have to work on it for ten minutes each time, and when the timer went off, we could do something he wanted to do. That seemed to work well. When he figured out he could read books, that’s when he really got interested in learning.”

  “Interesting,” Kimberly answered.

  Becca let loose. “The trick of it is to find what works for now and keep going with it. Michael responds really well to verbal praise, so I made sure to keep that up. He also really just wants attention. He feels he can get that one-on-one attention with this.”

  “Hmmm…”

  Scrunching her nose, Becca shook her head. “Sorry… I’m rambling.”

  “No, you’re not. I love hearing you talk about teaching in this way. It shows how passionate you are about it.”

  “Like you and cooking.”

  Kimberly bopped her head from side to side as she debated. “Most days.”

  Chuckling, Becca grabbed Kimberly’s hand and twined their fingers together. “I see it every day.”

  When Becca looked up, Kimberly was biting her lower lip and staring at their joined hands. She had a flush to her cheeks. Giving in to the urge, Becca reached forward with her free hand and tilted Kimberly’s chin up with the crook of her finger. She said nothing as they looked at each other.

  Her breathing hitched and her heart was in her throat. As Kimberly continued to look at her with honeyed eyes, all she wanted to do and more tumbled through her brain. Kiss. Touch. Sex. Blinking, Becca gave in to temptation and leaned forward until she pressed their mouths together.

  Kimberly gasped at the contact then pulled away, closed her eyes and pressed their foreheads together, much like she had done with Michael earlier in the day. Becca closed her eyes, too, listening to Kimberly’s breathing, allowing her spicy scent to reach her nostrils and letting their hearts beat together.

  “Only if you want to,” Kimberly whispered.

  Without hesitating, Becca locked their lips together again and cupped Kimberly’s cheek with her thin fingers. They tangled their tongues before Becca pulled Kimberly’s lip between her own teeth, scraping lightly—something she had been wanting to do all day.

  “Oh, I want to,” Becca answered, enthusiasm lacing her tone. “I have wanted to…”

  She trailed off, distracted by Kimberly’s neck as she kissed her way down it, sliding her fluffy dark brown hair behind her back. Thanking whatever God was out there that Kimberly did not have her chef’s jacket on for once in her life, Becca slipped her hand up the thin T-shirt until she cupped Kimberly’s breast.

  Kimberly moaned and tilted her head just as she listed her body forward. Becca skillfully flipped the shirt up farther and the cup of Kimberly’s bra down so she could latch on with her mouth. Swirling her tongue, she giggled. She had pushed herself to wait four awful weeks for this, and she wasn’t about to waste any time. Kimberly would figure that out soon enough.

  Using her other hand to guide Kimberly backward, Becca pulled down both sides of Kimberly’s bra and feasted on the newly exposed skin. Kimberly hissed as Becca left one side and went to the other. When Becca looked up, Kimberly’s eyes were completely closed, pleasure written all over her face.

  She didn’t dare speak. Normally she would talk throughout sex, but with Kimberly, she didn’t. She loved listening to the deep and precise tones that left Kimberly’s throat. She’d imagined them over the past four weeks, masturbated to them, dreamed about them.

  Sliding Kimberly’s pants down, Becca shoved them to the ground, not caring where they landed. When she moved up, Kimberly already had her legs opened and ready. Becca nuzzled her, slid her tongue in circles agonizingly slow and missing the one spot she knew Kimberly wanted her to give some attention.

  Kimberly pressed her hands above her head, stretching and relaxing, unabashed in her nakedness. Becca marveled at her confidence, wishing she could somehow gain only a small portion of that for herself. Pushing the thought from her head, she focused on what they both wanted. At her first touch, Kimberly’s voice broke the silence of the room. Then Kimberly’s rhythmic keening kept up the whole time Becca had her under her control.

  Finally breathing out a word, Becca heard a simple ‘yes’ float through the air. That one word rejuvenated her. The second word ‘more’ reached her, and she doubled her efforts. Kimberly was ready and waiting. Becca took her up, high on her orgasm then walked with her down as she eased Kimberly through the heat and flush and pleasure.

  Once Kimberly was finally with it, she grinned and pulled Becca up so they could kiss. “I wish you could do that every day. I’d probably be in a much better mood.”

  Becca smiled, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about Kimberly’s sentiment. Before she could think on it further, Kimberly sat up and pulled her shirt and bra the rest of the way off. She reached for Becca’s and made eye contact. “May I take this off for you?”

  “Ye—yes…” Becca answered.

  Kimberly cocked her head as she seemed to debate something. She took in a deep breath and smiled. “I think I need a more definitive answer than that.”

  “Yes, take it off,” Becca responded, giddy at the thought of having so much control.

  Kimberly repeated the process with each article of clothing she removed from Becca’s body, then beckoned her to climb upward on her hands and knees. “Right here,” Kimberly said, pointing to her lips as she pressed her head into Becca’s pillow. “I want to be able to see your face.”

  Shuddering, Becca complied and moved to straddle Kimberly’s face as she had been told. Her stomach flipped and flopped with nerves and excitement in a way it hadn’t in their previous encounter. Perhaps that was one of the joys of being sober this time around. Better decisions meant better sex.

  When Becca lowered herself, Kimberly started with her fingers. Becca gripped the headboard to keep herself steady. As Kimberly continued to work her, Becca found her knuckles white as she clung to the wood to keep herself upright and in the perfect position as pleasure coursed through her over and over again. When she came, she ground down hard onto Kimberly’s face.

  Kimberly eased her hands up and down Becca’s thighs, gently using her nails to half-tickle, half-scrape. Becca stayed put until she thought she could move without falling over, then slipped beside Kimberly to curl into her side. Kimberly turned and pressed their mouths together, sighing and closing her eyes at the same time.

  Becca felt her withdrawing, felt her putting up those walls again, and she desperately wanted it to stop. When she moved her hand down between Kimberly’s legs, Kimberly stopped her with a gentle hand to her wrist. “We have to talk about this.”

  Panicking, Becca moved to sit up, but Kimberly opened her eyes. Sadness echoed at Becca, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. Kimberly licked her lips, and Becca waited patiently for Kimberly to share her thoughts, because she had so many racing through her mind that she wasn’t even sure where to begin.

  Once again, they were back at the start. Kimberly was her boss. She was the hired help. Kimberly was rich. Becca had twenty cents and a beat-up Toyota to her name. Kimberly owned the house she lived in. Becca wasn’t even going to have a job in the next two months. But she wanted this. God, she wanted this.

  “I want this,” Kimberly said.

  Becca’s eyes widened in fear, thinking she had spoken out loud. After staring at Kimberly, she realized they only shared the same thoughts, but Kimberly was willing to speak them out loud.

  “I want to be with you like this.
I think we’re good at this. Is this something you want?”

  Suddenly afraid, Becca nodded her answer. She normally wasn’t one to be at such a loss for words, but it seemed that any time Kimberly wanted to have a serious conversation, she would pull back and hide, withdraw from the what-ifs.

  “Good.” Kimberly grabbed Becca’s hand. “I don’t want Michael, or really anyone else, to know. I—I’m not ready to explain that to him yet, and I don’t want him to be confused when I do explain it to him.”

  “I don’t think he’ll be confused,” Becca finally spoke. “He’s a very smart little boy.”

  “I know.” Kimberly’s lips quirked up in a smile. “But this…? His mom in this kind of relationship? I think it’s too much for him to handle.”

  “You’re his parent. I won’t tell him if you don’t want me to.”

  “I don’t. But that’s where this gets hard.”

  “What do you mean?” Becca snuggled in closer to Kimberly’s side and pressed her nose into the crook of Kimberly’s neck, breathing in her scent and basking in it.

  Kimberly took her time to answer, but when she did, Becca knew she wasn’t going to like it. “He can’t see or know anything. So that means when he’s around, we can’t do this. We can’t act like a couple. We can’t hold hands, or touch, or kiss.”

  Becca wrinkled her nose at the list Kimberly continued to put out there of all the things they couldn’t do together. She finally stopped Kimberly from talking with a deep kiss. When they broke apart, she gave a gentle but sad smile. “Then we’ll do that. It’ll suck, but we’ll keep our distance when he is around.”

  Kimberly nodded. “The good news, though, is he’s at Bradley’s this weekend.”

  “Well, that is very good news.” Becca laughed and kissed Kimberly again, hoping against hope to start their night over again. This time, when she reached her hand between Kimberly’s legs, she wasn’t denied. Instead, with Kimberly’s hand atop hers, Becca was encouraged.