by Pam Godwin
“That’s ridiculous. We never had a professional fucking relationship. What are you even talking about?”
She was right, of course. I didn’t know how we would maintain distance while spending every minute together in the classroom. But I refused to fuck this up. It was her and me against the world, and we would win. End of story.
“I’m your guardian. I’ll stay with you. I’ll keep you. I’ll fucking roar for you. If anyone fucks with you, I’ll be their nightmare. I’ll burn down the goddamn world for you. But I can’t do that if I get caught.” My chest buckled beneath the gravity of my decision. “No sex. No touching. No risks.”
“For how long?”
“Until you graduate.”
As if the words slapped her, she reared back, flinching with pain in her eyes. “That’s five months!”
Hiking the trails with her had become one of my greatest pleasures, but it didn’t light a candle to the feel of her body—gripping, clenching, sucking, pulling—as I sank inside her.
When I’d taken her virginity in the church, I’d never come so hard in my life. But it was like that every time with her. We fucked like rabbits. My dick was chafed. Welts, bruises, and hickeys covered her flesh. I wanted my marks branded on her permanently as a declaration to all that she was mine.
But there could be no declarations. No public claiming. No one could know.
“When you’re in the residence hall, undressing or taking a shower, you can’t let anyone see these.” I ran a finger over the bites on her tits. “Until they fade, keep them covered. They’ll raise questions.”
“I don’t care.” Air expelled from her nose with little heat. She knew I was right. “Dammit, Magnus. We can be careful, just like before. Lock the doors and—”
“No.”
“It’s never going to work. You’ve lost your fucking mind. The very first time you put me on my hands and knees to scrub your damn floors—”
“I won’t. No more punishments. If you misbehave, I’ll put you in detention with another teacher.”
“Bullshit.” Her hand fisted on the bed between us.
“Try me, Tinsley. See what happens.”
Her jaw stiffened, and she looked away.
“I’ve been thinking about this long and hard. I’ve had some time to get used to the idea.” I caressed the delicate edges of her face, bringing her gaze back to mine. “It won’t be easy. It’s going to be five months of pure torture.”
After going without sex for nine years, a few months should be nothing. But it wasn’t nothing. I’d had a taste of her. More than a taste. Depriving myself was going to be endless, excruciating hell.
“It won’t be five months.” She leaned up on an elbow and smacked my hand away. “You and I end here. Tonight. You made a decision not to touch me at school. Fine. But you don’t get me after that. Have you forgotten my future has already been written, sold, and signed?” Anger impassioned her voice. “When you leave here tomorrow, you’re leaving me for good.”
I would never leave her. She belonged to me for always and in all ways. But she didn’t need to be convinced of that right now. Not yet. First, I needed to get us through the remainder of the school year without a disaster. Perhaps her anger would help us maintain that required distance.
Once she was graduated and I had a solution for the Kensington-Constantine merger, I would make her understand how committed, possessive, and very fucking serious I was when it came to her.
I’d inflicted a lot of cruelty and endured a lifetime of loneliness to get here. I wanted her too badly to risk losing her.
The next five months were temporary.
“Trust me.” I grabbed her curvy little hip and yanked her against me. “Do as I say, and I’ll take care of everything.”
“Are you going to fuck me goodbye? Is that what this is?” She bared her teeth and pushed away.
“No, Tinsley. I’m going to show you how much I’m going to burn for you until I have you again.” I hauled her back and captured her mouth.
She fought me, but I didn’t care. This was our last night, and if we didn’t spend it joined together in every humanly way, she would regret it. We both would.
So I kissed her and put my hand between her legs and convinced her body to accept me. If she truly objected, she would have made it abundantly clear, probably with her fists. But despite her anger and dread, she didn’t want to lose this precious time.
Within seconds, she fell upon me in a fury of claws and kisses. I devoured her desperation, longing, and dread as it exploded from her and into me. Without words, her lips confessed her fear about our impending separation. And in that kiss, I assured her I would be with her, watching over her, even when I couldn’t physically show her.
I’d never made love to a woman, but there was no other way to do this with Tinsley. I consumed her, idolized her, paid homage to all her perfections, and committed every heavenly sensation to memory.
With each stroke of my cock and sweep of my tongue, we spiraled from anger to devotion, from recklessness to delirium. We fucked until neither of us could move.
Hours later, I lay in a sheen of sweat, staring at the ceiling in the dark. She slept beside me, peaceful at the moment, but she’d fallen asleep angry.
Had the circumstances been different, I wouldn’t have allowed her to go to bed mad. But there was no resolution for her grief. I would not compromise on this. If her family discovered what I was doing with their daughter, they would try to kill me.
I didn’t want to deal with a henchman. I only wanted to focus on her. And my mind was already swimming with solutions for her future.
Carefully, I slipped out of bed without waking her, grabbed my phone, and shut the door on my way out.
In the kitchen, I poured a shot of whiskey and dialed my best friend.
“It’s late,” Crisanto said in greeting.
“Too late for a confession?”
“Hm.” Rustling sounded over the phone. “Sounds serious.”
“It’s the most serious confession I’ll ever give.”
“I’m listening.”
I confessed everything. But it wasn’t an Act of Contrition. I wasn’t sorry. I was deeply unrepentant and unashamed of every second I’d spent with Tinsley.
He already knew how I’d felt about her leading up to the holiday break. So when I told him she’d returned to the school and I’d taken her to the cabin, he gave no reaction. He’d probably been expecting this call for a while.
I told him our relationship had become sexual but not in the way I’d been with other women.
“You don’t mistreat her?” he asked.
“No. I don’t even have the urge. I adore her too much.”
“That’s…new.”
“Yeah. All of this is new.”
I explained the nature of our relationship while leaving out some of the details. He didn’t need to know I fucked her face in the confessional and took her virginity in the church.
“Does her family suspect anything?” he asked.
“She’s been in contact with her brothers almost daily. They call constantly, checking on her. She’s convinced them she’s enjoying a quiet holiday with a few friends she made at school.”
“If they discover—”
“They won’t. I’m heading back to the school tomorrow and am discontinuing my relationship with her.”
“Can I be honest with you?”
“Always.”
“God has forgiven you for the things you’ve done. You don’t need to continue this cycle of self-punishment.” He paused, breathing in and out. “You’re not meant to be a priest, Magnus. It was never your calling.”
My heart thudded as his words sank in. The thought had always hung around in my head, but hearing it from his mouth made it more real.
“Do you love her?” Uncertainty laced his voice.
He didn’t believe I was capable of romantic love. And why would he? I was the king of pain and heartbreak.
/> Until her.
Pure heart, beautiful mind, bright soul. I loved her. How could I not? She was so very easy to love.
“Yeah. I love her with everything that I am.”
CHAPTER 34
TINSLEY
I felt him in the hinterland between slumber and awareness. I felt his breath in the juncture between my neck and shoulder. I felt his lips in the rivulets of warm sunlight on my face.
Then I felt him ripping away.
The agony of his leaving came with a gnawing coldness that invaded every nerve, organ, and bone in my body. The instinct to chase him was enormous, but I fought it. I let him go without screaming and sobbing and demanding he stay just one more day.
I’d been so angry with him when I fell asleep last night. But this morning, I felt nothing but harrowing grief.
He was doing the right thing. The noble thing. He was protecting me, protecting us, and it hurt him as much as it hurt me.
I refused to make this harder than it already was.
So when he quietly, tenderly kissed me goodbye, I held still and pretended to sleep. I stayed in bed as he slipped out of the room. I didn’t make a sound until the front door shut and his car motored away.
Air heaved in and out of my lungs, fast and heavy, the pain gathering and building until I couldn’t contain it. When I finally let it out, it poured in an avalanche of ugly sobbing tears.
Other than the mornings he’d left me in bed sleeping while he attended Sunday Mass at the small church in town, we’d been inseparable. Having spent every second with him for the past two weeks, I’d grown accustomed to his company. I’d grown to depend on it and need him in a way I’d never needed another person.
I still had five months left with him. But I would never be with him in the way we’d been in this cabin in the mountains. He was going back to be a priest, a teacher. And I would return as his student, a Constantine heiress, and the future wife of Tucker Kensington.
He’d told me to trust him, and I did. I trusted he would do everything he could to change my fate. But he wouldn’t change my mother’s mind. She would have him killed if he so much as mentioned he was interested in me.
He would already be dead if she knew he’d fucked me.
As the bed grew colder in his absence, I crawled out and got ready for the day. Then I cleaned the cabin, visited the beavers, and packed up my belongings.
It was late afternoon when I found myself sitting at the table, out of distractions, and missing him with every broken beat of my heart.
How was I going to see him every day and not touch him? How would I look into his eyes and not kiss him? How would I sleep in my dorm without his arms around me?
The only consolation was in knowing that I would spend every day with him until I graduated. Even if it was only on a professional level. We still had time. I had time to find a way to escape my mother’s plans. Maybe one of my brothers could help me. I wasn’t giving up.
I ran my fingers over the tennis bracelet on my wrist. At some point last month, Magnus had sneaked the broken jewelry out of my room and had it repaired. He gave it to me on Christmas morning along with an e-reader loaded with books. Dozens of books, manuals, and journals on every aspect of launching and running a business, as well as step-by-step guides to starting an animal rescue.
He’d done all of this before we’d had sex. He’d done it because he cared about me.
Did he love me?
We hadn’t talked about that. We never said the words, even though I’d felt them every goddamn time I looked at him.
It was for the best.
But sitting here obsessing over him wasn’t for the best, so I decided to go on a hike. As I pulled on my boots, the sound of an approaching car reached my ears.
I froze, listening. Had Magnus returned?
My heart hurtled to my throat as I raced to the window.
A black luxury sedan emerged on the road amid the trees. Not Magnus.
I recognized the make and model. My mother always commissioned the same kind of car.
Blood pounded in my ears, and every ounce of warmth drained from my body.
My mother was here.
In Maine.
At the cabin that belonged to Magnus.
She knew.
She fucking knew.
My first instinct was to run. Hide. But I had to see who was in that car. Was my mother alone? Or had she sent someone in her place? My brothers? Her assistant?
As I waited for the car to park, I stood out of view of the window, my brain running on overdrive.
She was here to retrieve me. Of that I had no doubt. But how did she know where to find me? Who told her? Did she know Magnus was at the school? Or was she hoping to catch us here together?
I had to play this cool. I would tell her he’d given me the keys and let me stay here by myself during the break. Or I could just not open the door at all. I could pretend no one was here.
My head pounded with tension as the passenger door opened. My heart stopped as Ronan climbed out.
The henchman.
“No, no, no.” My muscles locked up, and everything inside me went numb.
Ronan only showed up when someone needed to be killed.
Thank fuck Magnus wasn’t here. But it would only take seconds for Ronan to learn that and head to the school to finish the job there.
Tremors started in my chest and worked their way to my legs.
Think, Tinsley. Think.
A second pair of shoes stepped out of the car. I didn’t breathe until I saw my brother’s face.
Keaton would’ve been my first choice, but he’d already flown back to Europe.
It was Perry. My second choice. He might’ve been a spoiled mama’s boy, but he was a thousand times more forgiving than my oldest brother, Winston. With Perry, I had a chance to plead my case. But first, I had to figure out what he knew.
I stayed out of view as he strode to the door with Ronan on his heels.
The Irish henchman rested a hand on his hip beneath his suit jacket, his fingers against the gun holster as his eyes probed the surrounding woods.
Perry pounded a fist on the door.
I didn’t move, didn’t breathe.
“Tinsley!” He knocked again. “I know you’re in there. Open up or we’re breaking in.”
Fucking shit.
I closed my eyes. Drew a deep breath. Then I crossed the room and let him in.
“Hey!” I hid my nerves beneath a smile. “What are you doing here?”
“You know why I’m here.” He pushed past me, his blue eyes flashing with a rare glimpse of rage as he scanned the room. “Where is that son of a bitch?”
“Who?”
Ronan breezed by and disappeared in the bedroom.
“The priest.” Perry spun toward me and cupped my face, his expression twisted in horror. “Tinsley. God. What has that motherfucker done to you?”
“If you’re talking about Father Magnus, he was kind enough to let me stay at his cabin.” I stepped back from his touch, arranging my features in a mask of confusion. “Why? What’s going on?”
“He’s not here.” Ronan emerged from the back room.
“Where did he go?” Perry squinted at me.
“How the fuck would I know? I’ve been hanging out here since Christmas.”
“Except you told us you were at the school, hanging out with friends.”
“I thought you would all freak the fuck out because I was staying out here in the woods alone.” I crossed my arms. “Guess I was right.”
“No, Tins. We freaked the fuck out because of this.” He tapped his phone screen and held it in front of my face.
My throat closed.
He had a photo of Magnus and me right outside the cabin door. It was taken yesterday after our morning hike. We hadn’t made it inside before we tore at each other’s clothes. He’d fucked me on the porch against the house in the freezing cold. Best outdoor winter sex ever.
And my b
rother had a picture of it on his phone.
It was captured from far enough away that our nude parts were blurry, but there was no mistaking where Magnus’s cock was buried.
“Who took that photo?” The question scraped past my dry lips.
“Where’s the priest?”
“I’m not telling you shit until I know who was spying on me and why.”
He pocketed his phone. “Ulrich took the pictures.”
Our private investigator.
“Why was he following me?” I asked.
“Nevada Hildebrand contacted Mom a week ago and said she thought something was going on between you and your teacher.”
“Of course, she did, that selfish, jealous, filthy fucking whore.”
“Jesus, Tinsley.” He stared at me like he didn’t recognize his own sister. “What’s happening to you?”
“Let me get this straight. Mother believed Nevada’s allegations and sent Ulrich to Maine to investigate? I assume there are more photos where that came from?”
“Yes and yes.”
“Who’s seen them?”
“Mom and me. And Ulrich.”
“Not Keaton or Winny?”
“No. She wants to keep this as quiet as possible.”
No scandals.
Perry was her favorite child, her charming, agreeable boy. He was only twenty-one, but she trusted him to deal with the press and smooth over any bad publicity. So it was no surprise she’d sent him to retrieve me and stop me from making a scene while Ronan did the dirty work.
The henchman stood near the front door, tracking our conversation. Dark hair, dark whiskers, blue eyes, muscles in all the right places—Ronan might’ve been handsome if he weren’t so goddamn scary.
“Have you seen the photos?” I asked him.
“No.”
“But you’re prepared to kill a priest because my mother ordered it?”
His glare probably sent a lot of necks shriveling into shoulders. But he wouldn’t get any hunching or cowering from me. I had a lot of practice dealing with growly, glare-y men.
“Wait outside.” I motioned at the door.
At Perry’s nod, Ronan left, taking all the murderous air with him.
If I were facing my mother right now, I would concoct some sort of haphazard plan to save Magnus’s life. But this was Perry. He was nurturing and protective and usually laid-back. The best approach with my brother was the truth.