I shake my head solemnly. “But what if you fall in love with somebody else unintentionally?”
“I’ll remind myself why I married my wife first.”
This is all easier said not done. He’s not in our shoes so he doesn’t know, not really. He didn’t hear our conversations and see our spark and witness the intense touches we shared.
Feelings like that don’t happen with everybody. We have something special.
I wet my lips and look up at the blue sky, leaning my arms on the door of his rental car. “Do you think that’s all he needs? A reminder of why he loved her to begin with?”
“Definitely, he’s not going to get that with you standing in his way.”
I know he’s not saying it to be cruel or conniving and I love that he’s defending his friend’s marriage. But I don’t know… I just don’t know what to think.
“I was there when they got married, remember?” he says, climbing into the car and buckling in. I follow after a moment and look at him, eyes still blurry with unshed tears.
“Was he in love with her?”
“Absolutely.” He places his hand on mine when I tense and look away. Hurt by his easy admission. “You’re new and shiny, and perhaps he does love you, but he’s not single and he needs to remember that.”
Fuck… his words are hitting me so hard.
“I love him.”
“He’s your first love, it was unfair of him to take that from you when he can’t give you what you need and deserve in return.” His hand squeezes comfortingly and then reaches up to catch a tear rolling down my cheek. “I’m not going to tell you what to do but think about what I’ve said.”
“He loved me before I changed my style,” I point out, “most men wouldn’t even give me a second glance.”
“If that’s what you think, you’re an idiot,” he jests, shaking his head at me. “Back then you were shy and unapproachable. Whenever I tried talking to you, you fled the room or blushed to the shade of a beet.”
He has a point.
“Now you’re confident but still quiet, so very sexy, but you always have been, just in different ways.” He smiles at me. “I’m older than you by a decade—”
“Twelve years.”
“Whatever… my point is, I’m at an age where I know what I want and that means Ezra is too. Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong about his marriage and how it should be. But do you really want to put your faith in a man who broke what should be an unbreakable vow, for you? Put yourself in his wife’s shoes… maybe he is a loyal and loving husband for the most part… but how well do you actually know him? Do you think she thought their love would last a lifetime when she agreed to marry him? Do you think you’re the only one?”
“You think he’s a fuckboy?”
“I think there’s every chance that you won’t be so shiny in a couple of years, just like his wife.”
I groan, even more confused than before. “Let’s stop talking about this now. I want to enjoy your company and not think about him.”
“Maybe you’ll switch teams and fall in love with me instead?”
“I wish,” I mumble, and then blink slowly. I can’t believe I just said that.
“You do, do you?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Oh I do… and this now feels like a challenge to me. Sounds like I’ve already got a foot in the door.”
“There’s no foot in anybody’s door.”
“I’m going to woo you and make you ask, Cunty who?”
I laugh and slap his chest. “He’s your friend, behave yourself.”
“Didn’t stop him from sleeping with you when he knew I liked you first. As far as I’m concerned, now you are fair game.”
He liked me first?
“I’m not a piece of meat.” I laugh, secretly loving the attention. “I’m also nothing special.”
“You’re the most fun I’ve had in years with the best ass I’ve seen in years. That’s all I need.”
I roll my eyes, stilling smiling. “When do you go back to Seattle?”
“Something is telling me to extend my visit by a few days.”
“Stoooooppp,” I plead, giggling near uncontrollably.
“Well, promise me you’ll visit me soon. Halley and the rest of my crazy friends want to do karaoke battle with you, even though you never remember the words. Photographic memory but can’t sing lyrics for shit.”
“I was hammered. Like a lot. So shut it. You didn’t do too great yourself.”
“Fair point. Fair point.”
We smile until my cheeks ache and then my smile fades as we pass a billboard of a happy couple in front of a new home. It reminds me of everything I keep trying to forger. “Do you think I’m a terrible person?”
“I think desire and lust can drive good people to do terrible things, but no, I don’t think you’re a terrible person. I think you’re a great person and you’re not losing me as a friend over this.”
“Promise?”
He wrinkles his nose at me and crosses his eyes after stopping at a red light. “You gonna make me swear it with a pinky promise?”
“I don’t know what that is, so no,” I reply around a genuine giggle.
“You don’t know what a pinkie promise is?” His look is one of utter horror. “How do you not know the basic rite that is a pinkie promise?” He hooks his pinkie finger around mine. “I pinkie promise that I will not fall out with you because you prefer my married friend’s penis to mine.”
“You’re not funny,” I grumble, pouting at him while still squeezing his pinkie finger.
“I’m not kidding. Want to compare before I leave?”
“Compare?”
“Our penises.”
Laughing, I pull my hand free and twist his nipple through his shirt. “Let’s go Casa-no-no. Want a tour of my new digs? Compliments of the adulterer?”
“You’re living with him?”
“I love him.”
“Is that going to be your answer for everything until you find something better to say?”
I shrug my shoulders. “What’s better than love?”
“You got me there.”
* * *
When I walk into my apartment I smile when I see fresh flowers in the vase on the half-moon table to my right. I dump my keys in the little dish there and lead Robert further inside.
“I’m home,” I call but there’s no answer. His keys aren’t in the dish and his sneakers aren’t there…
Looks like he’s not home. I immediately let my internal gauge jump to extreme panic. I check my phone and wince when I see five missed calls and a text from him.
Ezra: Where the fuck are you?
Rose: I just got home. I’m sorry. What’s wrong?
Ezra: Home from where?
I call him, figuring this will be a better conversation to have over the phone.
“Hey,” he says softly, sounding nicer than his texts. I must have read them in the wrong tone. “Where have you been?”
“With Robert. We went to Universal Studios.”
“You’ve been with him all this time?”
Uh-oh, the tone is back. “Yeah…”
“She sure has, Cunty,” Robert interjects so I slap my hand over his mouth.
He laughs and steps away from me. “I’ll make coffee.”
“I’ve got it,” I call, following him. “Ezra, we’re at home. He knows about us.”
“Huh, does he?”
“He kind of guessed.”
There’s silence.
“Ezra?”
“I’m here.” He clears his throat. “Just processing.”
“I know that feeling…” I wasn’t meant to say this aloud.
“I shouldn’t have gone last night.”
I glance at Robert and smack his hand when he reaches for the coffee grinder. Laughing, he moves to the machine, ducking when I throw a silicone oven glove at his head. It thuds on the wall behind him.
“Are you t
here?”
“Y… yeah,” I squeak, dodging the same glove when it returns. “We’ll talk when you get here. Okay?”
“What the fuck are you two doing?”
“Fighting over coffee,” I grind out, squealing when he twists a towel and flicks it at my thigh. “Just hurry home safe.” I hang up and turn on the maniacally grinning Robert. “Oh, you’re so fucking dead.”
It takes Ezra no time to get here, and when he does, he’s covered in sweat, wearing a dark gray wife beater and lighter gray shorts. He’s been working out. He catches the flare in my eyes and winks.
“Here’s the adultering dog,” Robert comments and though his lips are smiling, Ezra and I both caught his tone.
“Don’t,” Ezra mutters when I walk to him and kiss his lips. He grins and winks at me and wipes his face and neck with the towel hanging over his shoulder. “Did you have fun?”
“It was insane,” I respond energetically. “Right, Rob?”
“What she said,” he replies, eyes on Ezra but they lack that friendly light that usually glows from them. “Can I have a word?”
“I was waiting for it,” Ezra mutters and sighs gravely. He kisses my temple, squeezes my hip, and they both go out into the hall. I leave them to it; I don’t spy though I really want to.
When they return it seems the air has been cleared though it took nearly thirty minutes. I brew a fresh pot of coffee and giggle when Ezra wraps his arms around my waist and bites my neck.
“I love you,” he whispers in my ear sending a tingle of warmth down my spine. “Sei cosi importante per me. Don’t listen to others. They don’t know us or what we have.”
“Ti amo,” I reply just as quietly and turn in his arms to accept the kiss he grants me.
We only pull away when Robert clears his throat and mutters, “I need to get laid.”
I laugh at him over Ezra’s shoulder and he winks at me, a sadness to his eyes that I don’t understand but also acceptance.
The next day when I accompany him to the airport, I learn that the acceptance was because Ezra persuaded him. Apparently, they had heated words where Robert told Ezra to let me go, but Ezra convinced him that maybe, just maybe he’d found happiness beyond compare.
Chapter Thirty-Three
He takes my side, even against the ones he loves the most.
“Why are you so beautiful?” Ezra asks as I lean over his desk highlighting key parts of a sales sheet that he needs to go over. We’ve been ordering parts that we no longer use, a stupid error but an expensive one.
My cheeks heat. I ignore him and keep doing what I’m doing.
“Let’s go away for a week. Use our annual leave to go somewhere together.” His suggestion has me looking up from my job and my smile lifts when I see he’s serious. “Rome? Paris? The Maldives?”
“And who is going to look after the office?”
“We’ll schedule around it, there are people who can step in and take over the less important things that we do.” He trails his fingers up my arm. I shiver and my skin breaks out in tiny little goosepimples. “What do you think?”
“Somewhere warm and quiet…” I slide onto his lap. “With beautiful places to explore, and a sea to swim in.”
“I’ll get to see you in bikinis all day every day, I want you to wear nothing else. Except maybe…” His hand slides down my leg, massaging and kneading as it goes, before it lifts my foot high, showing my high-heeled black pumps. The underside is red, and they were very expensive. One of Ezra’s many gifts that I keep finding in my closet. He will order things for me or buy things himself, things he wants to see me in.
“These. The way your legs look when you wear heels.”
It makes me feel so incredibly sexy, especially when I surprise him by waiting somewhere in our apartment wearing the lingerie and heels he purchased for me. This morning I waited on the balcony in nothing but these heels and black lace over a dark green satin negligee. We didn’t have time to have sex, but we did make out like teenagers, groping each other and grinding all up on each other’s bodies.
He can’t keep his hands off me as it is, but when I’m in such a state of dress, he’s even more attentive which is saying something.
He kisses the inside of my knee and lifts me onto his desk. “Now sit still while I eat you.”
I remember when I used to be shy when he treated me like this, I’d try to find excuses to make him stop, but now I just place my heel-clad feet onto the arms of his chair and hold my weight on my arms as he dines on me like a starving man.
“If I didn’t love you before,” I breathe as he pushes a finger inside of me and sucks on my clit. “I do now.”
* * *
I wave excitedly at Izabella who is sitting alone on the veranda of a local café.
When I approach, she stands and kisses my cheeks before motioning to my latte.
“I got your usual choice, service is slow today.”
I look at the bustling business and smile. “I appreciate it.”
I stir my drink, sip it and hum happily.
“Where’s Maria?” I ask, looking around as I take the only available seat at the small table.
My lips part as she assesses me with hard eyes but doesn’t reply. Her gaze drifts to the collar of my shirt and the red mark on my neck above it.
“In my day, those were really tacky.”
I raise my collar and laugh nervously. My fingers tap against the side of my warm mug. “I think they still are, but I suppose they can’t be helped sometimes. Sorry. I should have covered it better.”
She sips her drink, her gaze still harsh and colder than I’ve ever seen it.
“I wasn’t aware you were seeing anybody?”
Oh shit.
She looks at my tapping fingers, so I release my mug and laugh nervously. “Just having casual sex.” I can’t hold her eyes. This is awkward. I have a bad feeling.
“You’re driving my son’s car?” Her tone is suspicious, her eyes are too, her body is tense.
“How do you—”
“I saw you come into the parking lot.”
“He was kind enough to loan it to me,” I reply, it’s the truth. That’s probably not the only truth I’ll be telling her today. This is not going well.
“He’s good to you, my son?”
Oh dear. I really don’t feel good anymore. I squirm in my seat, looking everywhere but at her.
“Always. He’s a great friend.”
“You wouldn’t lie to me, right?” she repeats her question from our last meeting and my heart sinks into my stomach. Her tone is bold, hurt. Her eyes magnify it. “Because we’re friends and friends don’t lie to each other.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Stop.” She slams her hand down onto the table, and I halt my fingers from beating a casual rhythm. I hadn’t realized I was even doing it. I shift in my seat, bouncing slightly, unable to keep still.
“Is there a reason you’re so jittery?”
I shake my head, feeling my eyes burn. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be.”
She slams her hand down on the tabletop again, over my tapping hand which restarted what I thought I’d stopped, making me jump a foot out of my seat. “You’re having an affair with him, aren’t you?” I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say so I just stare at her with panicked eyes while trying to pull my hand free. “I knew this would happen. I warned him to get rid of you.”
I’m shaking. I wasn’t expecting this as I should have been. “Where’s Maria?”
“I lied about Maria, because whenever I have suggested lunch alone over the past few weeks, you have turned me down and now that my daughter-in-law has come to me crying that my son has filed for divorce, I know why.”
Oh no. This is not good at all.
“You lied to me,” she hisses. “You lied to my face. After everything I’ve done for you. After I took you into my home, and my heart.”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur,
hiccupping lightly. “I never wanted to hurt anyone. Neither of us did.”
“My granddaughter is hurt.”
I wince at that.
“His wife is hurt.”
“I really think you should be talking to Ezra about this.”
She shakes her head. “My son is weak. Only weak men abandon their wives for girls half their age. There’s no talking to him.”
“He’s not weak,” I implore, “it’s way more complicated than that.”
“There’s nothing complicated about the shame of a woman who disgraces her sister by sleeping with her husband.” She leans towards me, her gray eyes blazing with anger as my hazel eyes burn with the tears that flow freely down my face. “It gets no lower than that in one’s life. I understand desire and passion and I certainly understand sex. But to claim a man as your own when he has promised his soul to another, there is no greater shame.”
“I love him.” My breathing is staggered.
“He’s not yours to love.” She’s so angry and so offended but worst of all I can see that she feels betrayed. I’m trembling, not from fear but from the shame she condemns me with. “Leave him, give him back to his wife and child, if you love him as you say you do, you’ll understand that is where he belongs.”
“That’s not my choice to make.” I sniff, using the napkin to wipe under my eyes.
“Yes, it is.”
“He won’t go back to her even if I do leave, and I don’t want him to go back,” I admit aloud, sounding stronger now and her hands ball into fists on the table. “He’s my best friend. He’s the love of my life. I couldn’t walk away from him even if I wanted to.”
“And what about Elizabeth? Don’t you care about her in this? And Maria? She wants her daddy home.”
“I’ll never take him away from his daughter. In a few months this will all blow over and she’ll be around our apartment whenever she likes.”
“Apartment?” she screeches, eyes wide, lips parted. “Oh, you foolish girl. That foolish man. Poor Elizabeth.”
“You don’t even like her,” I reply, feeling braver now though I’m still trembling. I don’t want to fall out with Ezra’s mom, but I also want her to see this from my side. I’m feeling defensive despite the fact I’m probably wrong in all this. “She’s rude and obnoxious to everybody who isn’t on her level. She doesn’t want Ezra to have anything to do with you and you know it. Do you think she’d care if your roles were reversed?”
Becoming His Mistress Page 27