“I promise,” he replies, holding my arms over my head. “I promise you the world.”
Smiling sweetly, I whimper when he kisses my neck, keeping my arms trapped above my head. “Then I promise you mine.”
It might be the worst decision I ever make, but one thing is for sure, I know I’ll never regret choosing him. I trust him. I have to.
Chapter Thirty-One
He’s tenacious and proud.
Deciding to stay lifted a weight, well, once I broke the news to Rob it did, using the excuse that I just couldn’t bring myself to leave Laurie and Izabella. Truth be told I’ve been avoiding Izabella since Ezra announced the divorce. I just have a feeling she’s going to know that it’s because of me.
I saw Maria on Tuesday though; I took her to soccer practice. Ezra wanted to come too but I said it’s unfair on Elizabeth us playing happy family with her daughter while she’s oblivious.
I think he misses her, not just Maria who seems great so far, thank heavens, but Elizabeth. He called me Liz a few days ago when he needed something while in the shower and I didn’t get mad at him for it. You don’t spend thirteen years with somebody to just suddenly forget about them.
So long as he doesn’t call me her name while we’re doing other things. Then I’ll be mad.
But I see him look at his phone longingly sometimes and I wonder if he’s wishing for her call. I wonder if in those moments he regrets his decisions. I hope not.
The past two weeks have flown by and to say I’m completely in love with this handsome and charming man is an understatement. He helped me clear out my apartment and most of my things went into storage. They just don’t suit the modern look of my new place.
It was a fun but stressful day.
Pax has left me alone too. He doesn’t even look at me as he passes anymore and I’m so grateful for that.
Ezra was right, everything would work out and so far, it has.
Except husband-stealing harlots like myself always have karma lurking around the corner and I’m just waiting for mine.
Robert: I’m on my way to LA. Are you going to come and meet me or what?
Rose: Hell yes, I am.
Robert: Fair warning, I’ve invited Cunty too, hope that’s not weird.
Rose: Why would it be?
Robert: I wasn’t sure what was going on with you both after what happened the last time the three of us got together. You haven’t mentioned him beyond work shit.
Rose: We’re cool. We figured it out. When and where am I meeting you?
“Will it be weird if we go together?” I ask, opening the door to Ezra’s study. Although it’s my study too I rarely use it. I prefer the sofa.
He looks up, wearing his new reading glasses that suit him so much. They were prescribed to him last week and let’s just say I may or may not have made him wear them during sex once or ten times since.
Him in glasses, a tie, and nothing else… nom.
“Hungry?” he asks playfully after catching me look him up and down. I love that I can translate my desire for him with just a look. “And no, I don’t think so. We’ll get a car there and then I’ll offer to give you a ride home.”
“This is gonna be fun!” I cheer, bouncing over to him to kiss his head. “What are you doing in here anyway?”
“Boring stuff, it’s much more interesting now that you’re in here.”
“Want a BJ?”
“Don’t I always?”
I giggle and drop to my knees, smoothing his thighs with my hands.
I treat him as he works, though he doesn’t get much done during.
Later we meet Robert who spins me around like a missed lover. I don’t tell him not to despite Ezra bristling a bit in my peripheral. Robert is just playing, and Ezra knows better than to correct him. That would risk questions being asked, and I know that Robert knows about the kiss but I don’t know if he knows about Ezra’s feelings. Either way I don’t need a third party to our affair because then I’ll constantly be a paranoid mess. Ezra agrees.
“How are you? How have you been?”
“Fantastic, yet sad that I couldn’t convince you to stay.”
I pat his head. “Did Mr. Watanabe get a PA?”
“Not a good one. There’s still room for you to change your mind.”
“Not a chance,” Ezra responds, his tone dark, his eyes on his laughing friend. “Stop trying to poach my PA.”
“Mr. Watanabe was offering her a third over the salary she gets with you and an apartment, rent free. She must really like working with you if she chose you over that.”
“A third over?” Ezra baulks, looking at me for confirmation.
“Technically more if you count the rent I’d be saving,” I comment, grinning. “I must love working with you to decline that. And I was going to get the head of office title like I deserve.”
“Like you deserve,” he jests, digging me in the ribs with his fingers. “You’re such a little shit.”
Like the night we celebrated a massive deal that will change WhyTech forever, we head out but this time we eat first, stopping off at Robert’s favorite restaurant since he visits the city less.
We drink and get tipsy and Ezra gets handsy, he tries to be discreet, but I don’t think he has it in him while drunk. I’d love it if it weren’t for so many eyes. The world is such a small place.
I’m worried Robert will notice his affections, so I pull away from Ezra and call Laurie to see if she wants to meet us out. I bribe her with Ezra’s credit card and she accepts, always happy to get drunk on someone else’s dime.
When she gets here with Kyle, she’s the perfect buffer for our intimate little group and Robert loves her and her tics as much as the rest of us.
“COTTON CANDY GIN!” I’m not sure if that was a tic or if that’s the drink she wants. I take her with me to the bar anyway.
“Holy smokes.” She fans her face and not because it’s hot. “I’m trying to decide who’s better looking, the Italian god formally known as Ezra, or the American Hercules formally known as Robert. Why didn’t you know this many hot men when I was single?”
I look at Ezra and Robert who are laughing at something one of them has said. I don’t know how they can hear each other over the music if I’m being honest.
“Two cotton candy gins, please,” I call to the bar staff and they make it… it comes with a nest of melting cotton candy and everything.
“I think Robert is hot for you though, he keeps glancing over here. Isn’t that the guy you slept with in New York?”
“We just slept… nothing else,” I remind her, sipping my drink and cringing at how sweet it is. I slide it her way and grin when she cheers a loud, “YIPPEE!” Then I order a whiskey. I love whiskey.
“What are you two girls giggling about?” Ezra asks when we approach them in the booth.
“What the hell is that?” Robert looks disgusted by the cotton candy gin drink and I can’t say I blame him.
“Unicorn farts,” I reply, and Laurie throws her head back with laughter.
I slide into the half-moon booth seat beside Robert and glance at Ezra who is looking at his phone, his lips a grim line.
“Hey, Mr. Antisocial,” Laurie calls and Ezra looks up and grins, tucking his phone into his pocket.
Kyle joins us from wherever he went, and I bop to the music as Laurie yells at Ezra and Robert over me.
My eyes don’t quite focus and I don’t quite listen until I hear the words, “I do believe she used the term American Hercules.”
Robert slings his arm around my shoulders. “Is that so?”
I shove him off me. “Your massive head is taking up all my space.”
Chuckling, he falls into Ezra who is looking at his phone again. Maybe he didn’t hear Laurie but then my phone vibrates in my bag that’s pressed against my hip and I know he definitely heard her. He’s texted me about it.
“I knew you had a thing for me really, is it my charming smile?”
“It
’s not your mouth or anything to do with it,” I reply, laughing as I push him away by his face when he gets too close. “Or what comes out of it.”
“Or what I can do with it.” He taps the end of my nose with the tip of his tongue making me dramatically wipe it off.
Ezra laughs, he doesn’t look upset and I’m relieved by that. I have no control over Laurie or Robert, it wouldn’t be fair to take the blame for their shit. Besides, it’s all good fun.
Ezra: You prefer Aladdin to Hercules and I look more like Aladdin. ;-)
I snort and shake my head at him. He’s right though. Aladdin is my preferred movie.
“Want to sleep in my hotel room later?” Robert asks, wagging his brows. “I miss your arm hitting me in the face and your knee in my side.”
“I could demonstrate both of those right now.”
This time he pushes me back by my face except his hand is a lot larger than mine and his strength a lot more intense. I fall into Laurie and almost roll off the narrow leather booth seat completely.
As always, what an amazing night.
I’m sad when it ends.
Well… that is until Ezra wakes up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing over and over again.
My head is throbbing, and the noise isn’t helping. I’m also still drunk.
“Shut it off,” I groan, pulling his pillow over my head when he sits up after unwrapping his body from mine. It smells so good.
“Hello?” he grumbles sounding as tired as I feel. I check the clock on the nightstand, it’s three in the morning, we’ve only been home for two hours. That’s why I’m still drunk.
He sounds a lot more sober when he hears shrieking on the other end. “Elizabeth… what is it?”
“You were out dancing with THAT WHORE!” I hear her shrill tone and immediately sit up. Is this it? Have we been caught?
Why does she insist on calling me a whore?
And this is exactly why I invited buffers because if Laurie hadn’t been there to distract me, I might’ve done more than dance with him.
I hear her erratic, screeching tone but can’t make out what she’s saying, or sobbing. Ezra tries to cut in every so often, but he ends up standing and pacing out in the hall.
“Don’t do that, don’t be an idiot,” he begs her, and I hear her shrill tone some more.
I lie in bed with a hammering heart, feeling sorry for her while hating myself, but also feeling sorry for me because I know what’s about to come.
After a five-minute conversation he enters the bedroom and the bed dips when he puts his knee on it.
“I have to go,” he whispers, leaning over me to kiss my forehead.
“Don’t,” I plead, holding his arm.
“I have to, I’ve never heard her sound so bad.” He stands and pulls on his pants, the belt rattles and change in his pocket jingles.
“Don’t go,” I beg again, sitting up and peering at his silhouette in the dark. “Please. I have a bad feeling.”
“She’s my wife,” he replies, sounding torn. “I’ve never heard her like this.”
“If you go now, you’ll be giving her false hope. She’ll never stop trying.”
“You’re young, you’ve never been married, you don’t get it. I can’t just leave her. Not when I’m the cause of her pain.”
I watch him walk away and repeat, “I have a bad feeling.”
“I’ll be back before sunrise.” He kisses me again and leaves without looking back.
He leaves me to my thoughts. I pace, click and count but nothing soothes me. Thoughts of him tangled together in a bed with her. Thoughts of her convincing him to stay with her forever.
I head to the kitchen to have another drink to calm my nerves, wine left over from dinner. It’s warm but it does the job. Then I brush my teeth, counting that too, brushing them so much my gums bleed.
I want him to walk back through the door and just tell me everything is going to be okay.
An hour passes and he doesn’t. I curl up in our bed and tap my fingers on my phone screen, wishing for it to ring but only because of a call from him. I fight sleep for as long as I can but eventually the alcohol in my system makes it impossible to avoid. I collapse, my head on his pillow because it smells like him and I’m that sentimental and lovesick.
He returns at sunrise and climbs into bed. When he reaches for me, I roll away. Maybe it’s immature and petulant but am I right in thinking that he left her and asked me to commit to him. Going out at three in the morning to see his ex-wife doesn’t feel like he’s committed to me. I shower, dress, and head out to meet Robert without him.
He should never have left last night; it has cast such a shadow of doubt over our relationship that I was finally starting to get comfortable in.
Chapter Thirty-Two
How jealous he gets without trying to control me.
Robert and I decided on Universal Studios. I’ve lived here my entire life and have never been. I’ve been to Disneyland but never Universal and to say we had an amazing time is an understatement.
Robert has this incredible ability to make me forget about everything else when I’m with him. He’s funny and charismatic and self-deprecating in such a hilarious way. He’s what I’d call a crude gentleman. He will buy the drinks, carry the things, hold the doors, and “accidentally” touch my butt and suggest that maybe we should have a quickie in the bathroom. But I know if I told him to stop, he would. He’s just so much fun and easy to be with.
He makes you feel so comfortable around him, like he forever acts the bigger fool, and nothing phases him.
This casts another shadow of doubt on my relationship.
“Get off your phone,” Robert admonishes playfully, trying to snatch it from my hand.
“It’s Izabella. One second.” I press my palm against his face. It’s just something we do to each other when the other is being annoying.
Izabella: Do you want to join Maria and me for lunch tomorrow? We haven’t seen you in so long.
I hesitate because… should I?
Rose: I’d love to, though I am at work, but I should be able to get two hours. Just let me know where and when. Why isn’t Maria at school?
Izabella: Mid-winter break. We’ll come to you.
I thought she just had that. I’m clearly not paying enough attention. Every day is blurring into one, I’m having too much fun, I’ve just been too happy. It’s not good really.
Rose: Awesome. I look forward to seeing her.
Izabella: She does too.
Rose: And you of course.
Izabella: Well, that goes without saying.
“Done,” I tell Robert who waits for me to put my phone away before taking my hand in his. His eyes are cautiously regarding me as though wondering how I’ll react.
I hold his hand for all of twelve seconds and find an excuse to let it go. I don’t want to hurt him but I also don’t want to lead him on.
“Is it the long-distance thing?” he asks, startling me as we make our way out of the park. I didn’t expect him to broach the topic. “Because I come back here all the time.”
“No, it’s not that,” I reply, choosing honesty. “I’m sort of maybe… I’m hung up on a guy right now.”
Surprise flashes in his eyes. “That Pax douchebag?”
“Definitely not him.” Just thinking about him makes me cringe.
“Who?”
“Nobody you know,” I lie, and he sees straight through me. I’m a terrible liar. My twitches give me away, always forcing their way out when I’m in the middle of an uncomfortable situation.
“You’re in love with Cunty.” And then his eyes widen. “Are you sleeping with him? Is that why he’s getting a—”
“Don’t,” I beg, gripping his arm, eyes filling with tears. “I regard you as a good friend, you make me so happy whenever we talk or hang out. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Please don’t cry.” He pulls me into his chest, and we hug briefly, it’s not intimate,
it doesn’t fill me with silent butterflies battering their wings inside my body. But it’s nice, warm, and comfy. “No judgement here. Just disappointment.”
“I just… it’s not how it sounds.”
He raises a brow. “You mean you didn’t have an affair with your married boss? Every boss’ fantasy, by the way.”
“I wish I could excuse it all, but I can’t. We just clicked… you know? And everything just happened. I didn’t actively seek out a married man. Trust me. The only reason I’m sticking around for all of this is because of how I feel about him. If I didn’t love him like I do it never would have happened. The drama and the sneaking are killing me. It keeps me up at night. I don’t want anybody to get hurt.”
He nods thoughtfully, guiding us to his rental car in the lot. “Then perhaps you should end it until you’re sure it’s what you both want? Then pick up where you left off in a few months? That way nobody gets hurt.”
The wisest suggestion yet. “That’s some solid advice there, Robert.”
“I have my moments.”
“I’ve been considering that too, but I’m terrified Ezra will go back to his wife.”
“You mean… where he should be?” he comments and my face falls, so does my heart and my willpower. I’ve been considering that too. “I’m not trying to be a dick. I just think that when you marry someone, unless either is abusive, you should be together for life. Too many people rush into divorce that marriage has become such a joke.”
“Is that why you’re not married yet?”
“Yep,” he replies, grinning at me. “Because I believe in the sanctity of it and you can be damn sure I’ll not leave my wife for another woman.”
“He says he’s not leaving her for me.”
“And you believe him?”
Becoming His Mistress Page 26