Becoming His Mistress

by Murphy, A. E.

  I listen to the party going on beyond the door and try to focus on it as just his teasing has me wetter than Niagara Falls between my thighs.

  “I miss you. It’s hell without you.” His breath tickles my cheeks and even that sends need and desire spiraling through me. I’m so hot and needy.

  “Stop,” I whimper, pushing weakly at his chest as his hands push down my thighs and then drag my dress up to my hips. He kisses me and I get lost in it. For a moment I forget that he’s not mine and let him hitch my leg over his hip. I groan and grind against him, opening my mouth to taste him like before. He tastes incredible. He tastes forbidden. He tastes of sin, sweet, salacious sin.

  He groans like a starved man eating his first meal in weeks and rocks against me.

  But then the bedroom door rattles, snapping me out of this weak moment I got lost in and we part, both of us hungry and swollen but I seem to be the only one that’s devastated.

  I panic when the door rattles again and shove him so hard he falls onto the bed.

  I consider climbing onto his lap and fucking him to oblivion regardless of who is beyond the door, but then I think of how I’d feel being somebody’s pregnant wife with a husband like him.

  “Stay away from me,” I cry, feeling tears burn my cheeks. My makeup is going to be a mess. “You’re a cruel man, Ezra Conti.”

  “Wait… Rose—"

  I return to the bathroom and lock myself in it, if only to better present myself for when I leave and if only for a moment of peace to cry a little more.

  “I…” I hear him say through the door. It thuds, I imagine his head pressing against it and wish I had the courage and strength to open the door and take him into my arms, let him fuck me against the wall the way I want without even thinking of the people we will hurt if we get caught.

  Why do I have to have a conscience? Why?

  “I love you, I can’t turn it off. I need you. Even just… just an email, a text… please.” He finishes, and I hear him walk away as I grasp the vanity and wonder how he can torture me so.

  I fix my face and wait a few minutes until somebody else opens the door. I pass the oblivious woman, smiling at her as I go. When I return to the party, Robert returns to my side with a fresh drink in hand, this one much stronger than the last.

  “You okay?”

  I shake my head. “Ezra just followed me into the bathroom.”

  “Want to talk about it?” he asks quietly.

  “I hate him,” I reply, downing the drink. “But I’m here for you, not him and you are going to have the best party of your entire life.”

  “Am I now?” he questions, his lips smirking and his eyes on mine.

  “Yep,” I respond with a firm nod and drag him to the bar. “Let’s start by getting drunk.”

  He follows, chuckling and letting me pull him along, eyes watch us but I don’t care. Robert is single, I’m not at work and I’ve never let loose like I’m about to before.

  “Tequila Rose,” I demand, grinning at the hired barman. “Four shots.” I turn to the crowd and yell, “ANYBODY ELSE?”

  “Hell yeah!” an unknown male cheers and soon there’s a gathering of us passing around shot glasses of creamy pink liquid.

  We count down from three, and with a cheer, we swallow the sweet, tangy alcohol, and with a cringe as the burn relinquishes its hold on my throat, I demand another. Robert is right there alongside me.

  The music soon changes, and the lights go down and the fun people linger whereas the ones not looking to party like they’re teens again escape. We order takeout on Robert’s card and stuff our faces with pizza. We dance a little too, but I only partake in that when forced.

  I’m acutely aware of Ezra watching me the entire night, especially now as I play a game of poker, badly, with my new friends around a coffee table. Robert is pressed against my side, his arm along the back of the couch.

  “I’m getting tired,” Elizabeth says to her husband, rubbing his thigh and kissing his cheek.

  I want to scream at him. I want to ramble at him in drunk language but instead I slap my cards on the table and shout, “Full house!”

  “Fuck,” Joshua, my new friend, and Sally, my other new friend, both laugh as I scrape my few dollars towards my body.

  “I am so going to put this towards sushi tomorrow. Best hangover food ever.”

  Halley, the woman I met through Robert during my first visit to the city, begs, “Please let me come. I love sushi but nobody else does so I never get to eat it.”

  We bump knuckles. Something drunk me now does.

  “We’re going to head out,” Ezra says to Robert who is now whispering in my ear and playing with my hair. He’s only telling me what hand I’ve got because I’m too drunk to see the cards.

  “Boring,” I say to the man leaving with my soul.

  He looks torn between staying and leaving, but in the end, much to my fucking heartbreak, he will leave me again.

  “It’s my fault,” Elizabeth defends, smiling up at the man who owns my soul. “Sorry. Maybe we can meet tomorrow after your sushi lunch?”

  I’m about to tell her to go fuck herself as hard as I fucked her husband a month and a half ago, but Robert, likely sensing my drunken change, turns my face towards him and kisses me on the lips.

  I’m surprised, of course I am, I wasn’t expecting it, but I go with it. Kissing him back like the drunken harlot that I am, welcoming his tongue in my mouth and moaning like we’re alone and not in a room full of people.

  Halley cheers and hollers like a teenager and I laugh against Robert’s lips when Joshua and Sally both join in.

  He tastes sweet, like soda and lime. I tingle where we connect but I’m too drunk to really feel it anywhere else.

  When we part, Ezra and Elizabeth are gone and our little group cheer louder.

  “You okay?” he asks softly, his voice a breath against my lips.

  “I’m okay.”

  We smile at each other, but really, I’m picturing Ezra’s face in my mind which is unfair of me. I just wish I’d seen his reaction. But then that would be another moment burned to my mind forever.

  “You okay?” I ask him, my eyes hazy… or is his face blurry? Who knows?

  He kisses me in response, sucking on my lower lip.

  “Get a room,” Halley jokes as Sally and Joshua stand.

  “Where are you going?” I ask, gazing at them after forcing my eyes away from Robert’s. A difficult task what with how intense they were and unfocused.

  “It’s almost two,” Sally answers sadly, shrugging her shoulders.

  “I’m in the guest room.” Halley stands, stretches, and yawns. “See you in the morning, bitches.”

  As Robert sees out Sally and Joshua, Halley gets herself a glass of water and brings one to me too. I thank her and drink as much of it as possible while she slinks away into the guest bedroom.

  That just leaves me, Rob, and a super untidy apartment.

  “Fun night, huh?”

  I stand, collecting discarded glasses between my hands, using every available palm and finger space. “Definitely. You throw great parties.” I move to the sink and place the glasses beside it, swaying a little on the way.

  I’m about to reach for more discarded glasses that are further along the side when warm fingers brush my hair from my neck. The fingers are soft and slightly rough, I can almost pretend they’re Ezra’s.

  “You were the life of the party tonight,” he whispers, reminding me that he’s Robert. I hate that I feel less of an impact from his touch after that realization. “And you shouldn’t be cleaning.”

  “It’s driving me crazy,” I admit, turning to face him in the dark, open-plan kitchen.

  “You’re driving me crazy.” He dips his head and claims my lips. I accept it, closing my eyes and melting into him, wishing I wasn’t so drunk so I could feel it more than I am.

  I gasp when he lifts me onto the counter edge and nudges between my thighs, bringing my hips to the edg
e so he can press his hardness against me. With the amount of alcohol he has consumed, I’m surprised he’s hard at all.

  It would be so easy to do this, to get him to rip off my panties and enter me. Being drunk makes it seem like a really good idea. But it would mean more to him than it would to me, or that’s how it seems. So I pinch his chin between my finger and thumb and shake my head slightly when he looks at me.

  He sighs gravely and rests his forehead against my collarbone for a moment. “What is it about me that you don’t like?”

  Giggling, I grip his hair and pull his head back. “What is it about me that you do?”

  “Seriously,” he mumbles, not partaking in my banter. “What can I do to make you look at me the way you look at him?”

  I release his hair so I can massage his head with my fingers. “If only love had an off switch.”

  “And rewiring potential.”

  I laugh and press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’m going to sleep with Halley and then in the morning I’m going to get up, clean this apartment, and drag you to the closest sushi bar. Deal?”

  “No deal,” he grips my thighs and levels me with a heated look. “You’re going to sleep with me and then in the morning, I’m going to get up, clean this apartment, and then let you drag Halley to the closest sushi bar while I sleep more. Deal?”

  “I can’t sleep with you.”

  “Why?” His question is one of genuine curiosity. His hands massage my thighs higher; I shiver. I love being petted and rubbed.

  “Because—” I gasp when his thumb suddenly presses against my clit through my soaked panties.

  We both groan when he rolls it, circling at a slow but strong pace.

  “You’re so wet,” he breathes, “so I know that I affect you.”

  “Your ability to turn me on has never been called into question.” I grip his wrist when he slides that same thumb under the material, touching me bare. Burning need shoots through me and I have to stop my drunken self from pushing his head down to finish what he has started.

  “So why do you deny me?” Hungry eyes with dilated pupils scan my face and his other thumb sinks inside of me. “Fuck… don’t deny me now that I’ve had the slightest promise from your incredibly tight pussy.”

  “Robert… please,” I whimper, rocking my hips as he rubs me in both perfect spots at the exact same time. I feel on fire.

  Is this my thing now? Falling into bed with every attractive man that gives me attention?

  “Still want to say no?”

  “I have to,” I cry, parting my legs wider. “I don’t want us to change.”

  “Too late.” When he sucks his thumb, the one that was inside of me, into his mouth, I inhale a sharp breath. That was seriously hot. “I’ve tasted you now.”

  I grab his head and pull his lips back to mine. I bite him hard on his lower lip, feeling a courage that I never would have without this level of alcohol in my system. He bites me back and I inhale sharply. I taste blood but it doesn’t do anything to deter me.

  “Condom,” I whisper aggressively in between kisses as our movements and gropes become more frantic and desperate.

  He yanks his wallet out of his back pocket and searches through it while I kiss and suck his neck and my hands pull him free of his pants. He’s got a great cock, strong, hard, proud, thick… I start to mentally compare it but berate myself and roll the rubber over his predominant tip.

  He moans when I grasp him, lifting me just enough to push my dress up and hike my panties down, but when they snag on my thighs, he opts to rip them instead. I giggle and toss them over my shoulder before guiding him to my entrance.

  He’s there… he’s ready… I’m going to have sex with my only friend that lives nearby. I’m weaker than I thought. There are so many alarms going off in my head that are telling me to stop this.

  “Here?” he asks, wiping blood from my lip with his thumb. He looks at it on his pale flesh and his eyes flash dangerously. The way he’s looking at me right now is so intense and insanely sexy.

  I glance around the apartment, ready with my excuse on the tip of my tongue when Halley’s bedroom door suddenly opens.

  She likely thinks we’ve gone to bed, and we’re too frozen in place, too drunk to react quick enough.

  We both scramble to compose ourselves. I drop down from the counter and try to untwist the skirt of my dress and Robert struggles with the zipper of his pants. Then he falls to his knees with a cry and seems to be holding his crotch.

  “Robert?” I question, confused and concerned by his sudden stance of pain. “What’s wrong?”

  “Dick… zipper,” he croaks, sounding agonized.

  “Oh dear.” I crouch in front of him. “Is it Something About Mary trapped? Or just caught a little?”

  “Unsure.” He falls to his side, still clutching his dick.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” Halley asks, peeking around the island that was hiding us from view.

  “In his rush for modesty he injured himself,” I explain, trying not to laugh my ass off. I pull away his hands and assess his softening penis for damage. Thankfully the zipper tore through the condom and pinched just the skin of his penis, leaving a bit of a scrape and likely a bruise but nothing major.

  “Let me see?” Halley asks, sounding more curious than concerned. “Ooooh.”

  “What does oooh mean?” he panics, looking down at his dick. “Turn on the light.”

  “Nothing, I was just empathizing.”

  “Can you both stop staring at my dick now?”

  Halley giggles and I give his thigh a gentle pat.

  “Your penis is still attached to your body. It’s not bad. Will some ice help?”

  “Maybe a kiss better?”

  I roll my eyes and peel the condom from him carefully before tucking him back into his pants. “Come on, Casa-no-no. Let’s get you to bed.”

  “Sorry, guys,” Halley starts but I wave her off. “If I’d known you were getting with it in the kitchen, I might have peeked but I certainly wouldn’t have interrupted.”

  “Voyeurism, kinky,” I reply while smiling at our mutual friend who is watching us with extreme amusement.

  When I stand to full height, he rubs his penis area, a pained expression still on his face. “That’s not how I imagined I’d get your face close to my dick.”

  I smack his chest. “Idiot. Who gets their penis trapped in their zipper?”

  “Drunk me, apparently.”

  I hook his arm around my neck, fully intent on babying him the way he thinks he deserves.

  “You poor thing.”

  Chapter Forty

  No other man compares. No matter how hard I try to put them on his pedestal.

  I left Robert in the kitchen after spending the night with him curled around my body, his sore but erect penis pressed against my butt all night. He kissed me when we woke, a slow and sensual kiss that I returned briefly before getting ready for the day.

  When I escaped his apartment after brewing a pot of coffee for him to wake up to, I expected to just go home, sleep some more and forget about how drunk I was last night.

  Instead I find myself face to face with an irritated-looking Ezra as he leans against the side of his parked car and assesses my state of dress. I took a spare change of clothes so I’m not doing the walk of shame, having known I’d probably spend the night at Robert’s.

  “Morning,” he greets, his tone as tight as his body.

  I stop and stare at him, the way his biceps are bulging against the fabric of his short-sleeve T-shirt make me remember how they looked while holding him up as he thrusted inside of me.

  “The man that broke my heart, just who I wanted to see first thing in the morning.”

  “It’s actually eleven, not daybreak, and I never meant to break your heart.” His voice… God, his voice… why do I love it so? “Can we talk?”

  I look at where he’s parked illegally and wonder how long it will take for him to get a ticket. “What�
��s left to say?”

  “Everything. Nothing. Something.”

  “Why do you insist on it, Ezra? Why can’t we just pretend we don’t exist?”

  He steps towards me, his gray eyes stormy with need and grief, “Because life without even a fraction of you just feels so fucking bleak.”

  My breath catches because I feel the same. “I can’t sit and watch you and Elizabeth play happy family.”

  “You won’t have to. I’m asking for emails, texts… anything… anything… smoke signals. Just something of you. Weekly updates. A conversation. Nothing seedy, nothing sexual… just…”

  “Friends?” I almost laugh hysterically and sob even more hysterically. “You fired me. You left me in the middle of the fucking night after making love to me twice.” He flinches but I don’t hold back. “You promised me a family, a future, a life together and then you took it away without even saying goodbye to my face.” I shove his chest, ignoring passersby who look our way. I hope somebody films this, uploads it, and outs him for the shit he is. “You broke me. And now you want weekly updates on how I’m doing? What the fuck is that? I never even want to see you again.”

  “You don’t mean that… what we have is… it’s real and you know it.”

  “No, your marriage is real. What we had were sprinkles on the top of your perfect world and TNT in the foundations of my already shit one.”

  “Cuore mio,” he breathes, looking pained. When he reaches for me, I slap his hand away.

  “I’m going,” I say firmly.

  “Get in the car, let’s go for a ride.”

  “Are you crazy?”

  “Please… ten minutes, and I’ll bring you back, I swear.”

  I’m about to say no but truth be told I want to be around him just as much as he wants to be around me. If only for a little while. His presence, though he destroyed me, still comforts me. “Ten minutes.”

  He smiles, relieved, and opens the passenger side door for me. I pass him, about to climb in when he kisses my cheek and slides his hand around my waist. He sniffs my neck and scowls. “You smell like Robert.”

  “You smell like Elizabeth,” I retort, sitting and buckling myself in. He checks my belt like he always does whenever we travel together. I discreetly pull out my perfume from my handbag and spritz a bit behind my ears and on my wrists. He smiles secretly but it fades when I ask, “How is your pregnant wife?”