Lake's Reign

by A. E. D

  Finally turning around I see Keenan leaning against the door frame and Mason a few feet from me. His godly sculpted body looks even better in the daylight. The light seems to bounce of every curve of muscle his body has. He looks almost as wide as the door frame. I never knew someone could have that many muscles, not to mention his height. He towers over my small frame and to any other person, they would feel intimidated. To me? I feel safe. For the first time in my life, I feel genuinely safe by another person.

  Staring at him in shock, he steps closer until he’s right in front of me. Tears brim my eyes as I realize what is actually happening to me. I’m falling for him. The first person to ever crack my walls so deep, letting the light into my dark soul. I never realized just how much he meant to me. My body knew before my head did. That’s why I never killed him when we met. Why the knife missed his heart completely, a shot I never miss.

  I didn’t realize I was trembling or that tears were trickling down my face until Mason softly cupped my cheeks, staring deeply into my eyes.

  “You’ll be okay. You’re safe now.” He said.

  And I believed him.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  “Breakfast anyone? I already ordered so don’t bother saying no.” Leave it to Keenan to interrupt a moment.

  “Really, Keenan? You had to choose this exact moment to be yourself?” I say to him. By the look on Masons face it’s clear he doesn’t speak Russian.

  “I just couldn’t resist. You were getting all sappy and shit.” He grins before quickly sidestepping the pillow I grabbed off the bed, missing him by an inch. His laugh echoes as he runs out the door.

  I look back to see Mason looking intrigued yet amused at the same time. Staring back at him with a brow raised, I wait for him to ask the question I hear so much, which doesn’t take long.

  “What language were you speaking?” He asks but I have a feeling he already knows though.

  “Russian.” His eyes seem to darken, lust filling them.

  “Mmm, so that’s what you were screaming out last night.” He winked at me, stepping closer to grab my waist and drawing me closer against his extremely chiseled and tattooed chest. For the first time ever, I blush. His comment made my mind flick back to the previous night's events when I gave myself over to him completely. Since my time here in New York, I’d never let anyone do to me what Mason did.

  Control me.

  He controlled our movements and absolutely dominated me. Usually when I take people to my bed it’s because I have a need to satisfy and I control what happens. I decide what positions we do and how rough we get. But last night, that..

  That was something else.

  I’ve never let anyone dominate me so hardcore like what Mason did last night and what shocks me most is that I loved it.

  Every. Single. Second.

  He literally barged through my door, the same way he did my life and turned my world upside down. He changed the way I play the game. He owned the game now. I didn’t even care what he did, I just knew that I wanted him as much as he wanted me and now that I’ve had him?

  I never want to let him go.

  I never knew I could want someone so badly. I already feel myself wanting to be around him more, wanting to hear his deep seductive voice, feel his strong warm hands all over my body again, to let him have me and only me. To control me. I vowed to never let another man own me ever again. But Masons owned me from the very first moment I saw him in that dimmed out little room. The way my body wanted him had scared me. I’d never felt anything like that before. Never felt such a want and need as what I feel for Mason.

  These games we played only made me yearn for him. Some days I found myself watching him. I’d hacked the cameras at his club and just watched him all night. I sat on my lounge for hours watching him down drink after drink, turning away every sleazy slut that wanted a chance in his pants. I found myself growing agitated at the thought of him taking some other girl to bed. I wanted that to be my pleasure only. I spent so many days in turmoil not being able to control or even understand the feelings I was going through. I never had someone who could make me feel things I never knew I could. Right from the start, I was never nervous of Mason. It’s like I subconsciously trusted him straight away. I’ve never trusted anyone else in my life beside Keenan. Keenan unlocked that door inside of me but Mason smashed the door wide open, breaking it off the hinges and leaving it permanently open. Open to a whole new world of feelings that I’d never experienced before and all he did was say three little words.

  What’s your name?

  It’s funny how something as simple as asking for my name could form such an attachment that would and did, send me crazy, spiraling out of the control I thought I had. Right now, it felt like my whole life was leading me here, to him. For him to fix all the damage that was done to me from the day I was born. I looked through his beautiful eyes, reminding me of a dark stormy sky. The things he must have seen in our world. I can see a strength in his eyes, a hardened exterior, a facade he’s put up to protect himself. I can see a want and need for love.

  Looking into someone’s eyes can tell me exactly who they are. They show you the deep battles they’ve either overcome or still struggle with. They show you their most inner thoughts and desires, whether it would be lust, love, admiration or loyalty. But they can always show the parts of yourself you don’t want people to see. The hurt, the pain, the heartbreak, the demons you vowed to never let come to light, they all shine through one's eyes. There’s a reason why people say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Because they show everything. No matter how hard you try to push those feelings down and hide them, your eyes will never let you win. I can see hope within Mason’s eyes. Hope that I won’t run from him, which I won’t. I spent weeks trying to get him out of my head, weeks of pure agony and torture trying to fight off feelings I’ve never felt before. I’m not stupid to think that if I run, I will get over him. I’m smart enough to know that I could never run from a man like Mason. So I won’t run. Not now after the realization I had. Not after finally realizing that it’s Mason who was the missing puzzle piece inside of me. The part of me where I always felt empty was meant for him to fill.

  I also see lust, a feeling I know all too well. An emotion I was trained to detect and abuse. Looking deeper I see uncertainty. Doing the background check on him I learnt he was an orphan, living on the streets with Monty before Joe adopted them. He’s afraid I’d hurt him like his parents did, leave him to become the lonely little boy he fights to forget. Looking into Masons eyes I see a completely different side to him. He’s not the cocky, confident kingpin he usually is. In his eyes he’s the scared little boy who just wanted someone to love him. Seeing everything in Masons eyes, I can only think of one thing.

  Can he see what I’ve seen?

  Breathing deeply, I close my eyes. Afraid he’s already seen my demons just as I have done to him. A new panic sets in. What would happen if he knew just how fucked up, I am? Would he leave me, give up this quest for someone less complicated? Someone who could give him what he wants? I know who Mason is deep inside. I know the one thing he wants the most is a family. I cannot give him that. I can’t be the woman he wants me to be. Even if I did give him a family, I couldn’t be what they wanted me to be. I couldn’t be the wife he deserves or the mother his kids need. I couldn’t be a parent. I wouldn’t know how to be one. I’m not even safe to be around.

  “Hey, look at me.” His voice breaks my concentration. I look back up into his eyes, a soft smile graces his face.

  “Don’t worry, I know you’re scared and I know this is all new to you. You don’t carry yourself like any other woman I’ve ever met before. I know everything that’s happened between us is new to you and you might still be fighting whatever is holding you back, but I want you to know that I’m here. I’ll always be here for you and I want you. Just you, I don’t need anything else.” He says softly kissing my forehead.

  Am I that easy to read?

>   “No, you said something this morning that made me realize what you meant.” I look at him bewildered.

  Did he read my mind?!

  His deep rich laugh fills the room.

  “You said that out loud, even if you didn’t, I would’ve figured it out anyways. You said you couldn’t give me what I want. But I know what I want and that’s you. Just you.” Again, I feel my face heat up. How is it that everything he says makes me warm all over? I can even feel my heart beat harder every time he speaks. No one’s ever been able to make my heart beat like that. I always thought it was just a black hole in my chest, unable to ever be filled.

  “Come on, let’s go out before that shit comes in and interrupts us again.” I couldn’t help but laugh. As much as I love Keenan, he has a knack for interrupting special moments.

  I turn to walk out, only to yelp from Masons hand making contact with my ass.

  That’s how he wants to play it, huh? Alright, game on.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Keenan ordered just about everything on the breakfast menu from our favorite cafe down the street. Crispy bacon and hash browns, French toast with multiple containers of toppings, waffles, scrambled eggs, pancakes and freshly made fruit smoothies. The ones made with ice and water; I don’t like when they’re made with milk. It takes away the fruitiness and replaces it with a more milky, creamy flavor.

  I don’t know about anyone else but I am absolutely starving. Especially after the hours of very strenuous activity. Cramming my favorite crispy bacon in my mouth, I don’t care if the moans coming out of my mouth have frozen the two idiots in front of me. I open my eyes and find both Keenan and Mason, who’s sat opposite me at the kitchen island, have both stopped eating their own breakfast to watch me. Feeling a bit mischievous, I cut a small piece of pancake and smother it in syrup. Before it reaches my lips, I purposely slow down so that a drop of syrup falls on my chest. Sliding the fork into my mouth slowly, I see both of them watching me intently. I wrap my lips around the fork before pulling it out and placing it on my plate. I draw their eyes down as I slowly wipe the drop of syrup off my chest which had started to drip down into my cleavage. Sucking my finger into my mouth, I watch as both of their Adam's apples bob up and down.

  Finally finished teasing them, I cross both my arms against my chest before bringing them back to reality.

  “Something wrong with your eyes?” I say raising one eyebrow, snapping them out of their trance. Their faces burn so red that I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I burst out laughing, making both of the embarrassed boys jump. They look at me with a look of shock and fascination at my laughter. I couldn’t stop laughing until the realization crossed both their faces.

  “You did that on purpose!” Keenan snaps. Mason squints his eyes before a smirk crosses his face. I know he’ll definitely want to get me back.

  “You loved it.” I tell them. They both reveal a grin on their faces, not afraid to show that they loved the show. Rolling my eyes, we continue eating breakfast until nearly all the food is gone.

  Feeling hot from stuffing my face, I stand up and tie my wild sex hair into a messy bun on top of my head. Turning away, I walk towards the aircon control that’s next to the front door with the light switches in desperate need of a cooler temperature. Dialing the aircon down, I realized I had the heating on from the change in temperature lately. A clearing of someone's throat brought my attention back to the guys at the table. With Keenan looking nervous, he signals me to look at Mason with his eyes. I look over at Mason, his fists are clenched and his eyes trained on my neck. He looks shocked, horrified and murderous all in one.

  “You’re back, Lake. He saw your scars.” Fuck. I forgot about the scars on my back. I look down at the little crop top I threw on. I didn’t remember grabbing the top thanks to my trip down memory lane, so my scars are on full show.

  Keenan's seen my scars before and he knew not to ever ask. But Masons a completely different story and I know he won’t stop until he knows the reasons why. I know that now he knows I have scars, he’ll be looking for more. I have scars littered all over my body and last night in the dark was a way for me to be completely bare with him or even anyone without any questions. But now in the light, he’s already seen too much and even as I watch him now, his eyes are trailing all over my exposed skin looking for more. Not wanting to talk about them, I turn to walk back into my room with plans of getting a longer shirt to cover up. I don’t bother wearing tops that will cover the top of my back when I go out because the strobe lights from the clubs cover it up for me.

  Just as I reach the door to my room, a hand clamps around my arm, pulling me back into the middle of the room. Spinning me around and pulling my top down my back, the thin straps snap from the force Mason used to pull my top down, exposing my front. I cross my arms against my chest, covering my breasts defensively. I can feel Masons heated stare pierce my back. I could feel every scar his eyes scanned. Slowly turning me around like I could break at any given moment, I look up at him. His eyes roam down my chest to land on the scars that lay on both sides of my rib cage, hips and stomach. Some deep, some long, some small, some thin and some faded. He looks at each one before his eyes connect with mine. I can see pain deep within his dark eyes, anger and interest.

  “What. Happened?” I could hear him barely trying to restrain his anger. I thought about evading his questions or even running away but I know I’d never be able to do that now. I think from the moment I saw him in that room, I knew he’d eventually catch me and I’d be his forever. I’m willing to try to be with him but I know deep down he won’t want me forever. Nobody would. Like he said, I’m not like other women. But despite that, I actually want him. I think that’s why I went through such a hard time from this cat and mouse game we had going on. My body was all for him, already having signed itself over to him. My mind was the one that was confused. It was programmed to be one way, the way I was brought up to be, that it had no idea there was always another option. An option that everyone has. Free choice. The choice to be able to be who they want to be, be with whoever they want to be with. I see women with shaved heads, women with piercings, tattoos, wild coloured hair, skinny, muscled, curvy and the one thing they all have in common was one thing I never knew or even realized I had. They all had the choice to be able to be who they want to be without a fuck given of anyone else around them. It just never clicked that I too, had that option. My body knew but my mind didn’t.

  Now it does.

  Taking a deep breath, I gathered the courage to do something I’ve never done before. Share my story. Tell another living being my past, the past that carved me into who I am today.

  “They were lessons.” The sound of cutlery sounded throughout the room. Looking over I see Keenan frozen in his seat. The fork was on its way to his mouth with a forkful of left overs before it dropped from my sudden confession. He abruptly got up off the stool and came to stand next to Mason, looking equally confused and angered.

  “Lessons!?” He angrily says. I simply nod. I had gotten over each lesson as soon as they happened because that’s what I was taught to do. That’s how my mind survived the trauma of my childhood, by moving on.

  “What happened here?” Masons large warm hand gently caressed the deep scars against my ribcage. Taking a deep breath, I answer him as honestly but emotionally detached as possible. They don’t mean anything to me anymore. Right?

  “I told my father to stop hurting my mother. He did, but taught me a lesson in emotion instead.” Mason took a deep breath before asking his next question.

  “I don’t know if I should ask this but...What did he do?” This is the part I’m curious about. I use to think that these lessons were normal. I know they’re not now, but I always wondered what other people would think if they knew what I went through.

  “He strung me up and cut me until I learned my lesson. He’d cut me then leave me for days before he came back to repeat the process.” They didn’t move. They processed the informat
ion before I decided to continue.

  “This..” I pointed to a scar on my stomach.

  “Was to show me how much pain this cut can inflict. This one..” I went on, pointing to another scar.

  “... was because I didn’t want to kill someone. This one was to teach me not to talk back. This one, is because I said I was hungry. This one is because I spoke out of turn.” I turned around and continued pointing out each scar. The next were the deep scars that scattered the top half of my back like I was mauled by some wild animal.

  “These scars here were a lesson in fulfilment. It was a lesson to teach me how to let a man get enjoyment out of me. Three of my father's men took turns using me. Each scar you see is how many times they used me. I was a virgin before my father brought those men home. He let them take me over and over again until there wasn’t an inch of skin left that wasn’t covered in blood. I passed out a few times but he always brought me back to consciousness by shooting me up then making me take ecstasy to stay awake. They didn’t stop until I stopped protesting and moving.” This time I needed to take a breath. This was one of the lessons that hurt me the most. Not just the pain from my back, but also from the pain I felt coming from inside of me. My father spoke of women getting raped all the time but I never knew it hurt so bad. I couldn’t move for weeks after. My legs throbbed and I was bruised everywhere from the waist down. My back was stitched up, one of my father's favorite jobs to do. I wasn’t given any pain medication, I never did. He always made me feel every stitch he’d make.