CEO'd By Him Complete Series Box Set

by Nella Tyler

  “I didn’t know a hell of a lot about the Internet then. I never used it in my job, but had played around with it a bit with some games and music downloads. About that time, I was offered a job with a buddy of mine who had opened his own company. It was more of a high-tech company and I accepted, gratefully. It was another change, another horizon that I had to consider in my life.

  “Change is good, Mackenzie. I promise you that.

  “I started using the Internet on a more regular basis, getting braver and braver with the online dating. I had my buddy shoot a couple of decent photos for me, I took some time to write a passable profile, and I logged in every night. In the beginning, all I did was go through other people’s profiles, trying to guess who they really were.

  “It’s funny how when you first go there, you don’t want to believe that it’s really you who’s there. It makes you feel like a failure, that you were able to get a decent date any other way.”

  Mackenzie nodded enthusiastically, giving him a thumbs up in agreement.

  “So, you get that. I thought you might. Anyway, at some point people began sending me messages. At first, I froze. I didn’t know what to say. I was still feeling a little bad about myself, and I think my first few messages sounded more like apologies than they did charming conversation, shall we say.

  “Nevertheless, a few kind souls took it upon themselves to educate me, much in the same way your friend educated you. I learned the ropes and began to practice what I had learned.

  “It wasn’t too long before I met a nice lady who was rather attractive and I got the balls to ask her out on a date. She agreed and we met at a restaurant that was convenient to both of us. She showed up and was every bit as pretty as she had been in her online pictures. I was really encouraged. I remember thinking how easy this was going to be. That’s when she started talking.

  “Yes, she was pretty. However, she was separated from her husband, had five children under the age of ten, and was on the verge of being evicted from her little apartment for lack of rent. She was looking for someone to take her, and the five children, in with him and to support them.

  “Evidently, her ex-husband to be was pretty much a failure and even though it was doubtful whether he would make child support payments, he had nothing in the bank and would probably end up in jail anyway. So, either way she was on her own. She suggested in a very obvious way that she was willing to exchange favors and keep house, cook, do laundry, and accompany me wherever I needed her to go and return for taking care of her and her kids.” He shook his head at the memory.

  “Well, the nice guy in me actually considered this for a while. I played with the idea that setting up housekeeping again might fill in the gaps of my life. So, I sort of agreed to the idea and we decided that I would rent a U-Haul and come by her apartment that next weekend to help move her things over to my place.

  “Everything went as planned and I got to her apartment about nine in the morning. I went up the steps and rang her doorbell. The door opened and a man was standing there. I told him I was there to help her move and he growled something about it being none of my business and my ass would be grass as he slammed the door in my face. I assumed it was her soon-to-be-ex husband, but perhaps now permanently still in the picture.

  “She messaged me later that day and believe it or not, she told me that yes, indeed, he had shown up the night before and pleaded with her to go back with him. She wanted to know if I minded terribly, since they were getting evicted anyway, if he came along and stayed with us, too.

  “Now I have no idea what kind of world people live who are willing to be in such a situation. What I did know, however, was that it was not my world. I remember thinking how lucky I was that the son of a bitch showed up the night before she was moving in with me. I can only imagine if she had moved in, he would’ve shown up at the door regularly and she would’ve let him in. And then there were all those kids who would be screaming Daddy, Daddy! I felt as though I had just been saved from the guillotine.”

  Mackenzie couldn’t help it, but a smile crept over her face. She nodded and motioned to him to continue.

  “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re absolutely right. I was an idiot. I learned a lesson from that, and despite what you might think, it wasn’t that you shouldn’t date people who have five children and are not yet divorced.

  “The lesson I learned was that people were willing to do almost anything in order to survive. When I kept that in mind, it made it far easier for me to recognize the people on the dating sites who had agendas that were very different from my own. I’m guessing the same would hold true on the female side of that board.

  “So, I set about changing my profile. I no longer made it sound like an advertisement in the catalog, but revised it to specify what I was looking for more than who I was. That approach created a whole new crop of women. What I had done was to set a standard that they needed to match. It no longer looked like I was willing to take just anyone. I was specific in what I wanted.

  “True, I didn’t get as many messages, but the messages I got were from people I really wanted to get to know. It made all the difference in the world,” he explained with a smile.

  “So, now you know how I came to be on a dating site. I have met a few ladies, spent the night with a couple, but have not as of yet found anyone who matched the magic formula. They’ve all been very nice, they simply weren’t what I was looking for.

  “When I made the decision to be specific, I was empowering myself to believe that I had value. That was not something I had felt before that point. I cannot stress this enough. When you lose your spouse, you not only grieve, but you somehow swallow the idea that you didn’t deserve to have a happy life.

  “In my case, I told myself that I was unworthy, guilty, irresponsible, and every other bad attribute I could think of. I’m not suggesting that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t help but wonder what your version of my feelings might be. Now, let me go on.

  “Internet dating is a wild world. I came to realize was that I had been fairly isolated. We had been high school sweethearts, Jenny and I. I hadn’t really done my share of dating outside of her. I expected everything to be as comfortable and easy as it had been with her and that wasn’t reasonable. Everyone else was in survival mode while I stood by, comfortable in my wife’s love.

  “The point I’m trying to make is that I know it has been uncomfortable for you to go online and put yourself out there. But like me, you and David had the ideal marriage. You cannot expect to go out into the world and find a replacement for him. It’s not going to happen.

  “There are many, many men who would give their eyeteeth to be with you, and I will tell you quite frankly, that you may count me among their numbers. That said, I think it’s important that you do a little comparison shopping before you pick anyone.

  “You have to learn to be comfortable with yourself, to be a survivor, to know your own strengths before you join into a relationship again. You will discover, as I have, that while a great relationship seems priceless, the value of it is half yours.

  “So, although you’ve lost David, you only lost half of what that relationship was all about. The other half, namely you, is still there. You have simply buried it and are refusing to acknowledge that it exists, has a value, and has survived.”

  Mackenzie exhaled loudly. “My God, you should be a therapist.”

  “I’ve considered that,” he said, grinning. “I think these thoughts are only available to those of us who know what it is to lose their spouse. All the books that have been written address the stages of grieving, how to get back out in two the world, how to cope with the idea of being alone. But I believe the majority of them have been written by scholars and not by survivors.”

  “I would agree with you,” she said. “My therapist referred me to several books, and you’re right, they were written by professionals and on the back cover jacket there was always a picture of them smiling, happy, their beautiful
home and family behind them. I know they meant well, I know it was a marketing strategy, but it made me feel all the lonelier that I didn’t have that kind of picture in my life.”

  Tim nodded. “You see? You get it. I knew you would and I knew you would be able to relate to me if I told you my story. So, let’s move on to you now.

  “Just because it took me so long to get myself back into the world, doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have been there long before that. I spent six long years, what many might consider the best years of my young life, feeling sorry for myself and locking myself away from the world.

  “That’s not for you to repeat. You’re a beautiful woman, a smart lady, and there is no doubt that you’re capable of taking care of yourself. That said, there’s no reason that you have to be responsible for yourself completely. It would be okay to have someone in your life who cares about you and is willing to share in that responsibility. Now, we’ve got the permission part out of the way.

  “These guys that you talk to – there really haven’t been that many when you consider how many people there are totally available. You also have to remember there are other women talking to the same guys. So, it’s not fair to write the whole thing off just because you had a few less than enchanting experiences. But, think back to where you were a couple of weeks ago. Remember how lonely you were?”

  She nodded. “Oh, yes, I remember.”

  “Don’t you feel a little bit happier when you go home at night? Aren’t you looking forward to logging on and talking to a few people?”

  “Yes, you’re right. I do. I feel guilty for saying that, but so help me, I do.”

  “There you go. You’ve taken your first step. Now with regard to the new hair look and the clothing you bought. Doesn’t that make you feel better?”

  “Yes, you’re right again.”

  “So you see, there is a second improvement in your life in a very short span of time. Let’s compare the two. Your hair looks gorgeous now, but in a few weeks, it will begin to grow noticeably beyond your fresh-cut. At that point, you can make the choice to either let it grow out more, or go back to the salon and keep it trimmed up.

  “In the same way, Internet dating is going to bother you, as it is doing right now, until you get the hang of it. You can either walk away and let it go forever, or you can get back in there and keep your dating skills up to par. Do you see the analogy I’m trying to make?”

  “Yes, of course I do. And you’re right, once again.” She was really beginning to like Tim. His logical approach appealed to her intellectual side rather than the mothering attitude Lucy used that made her a bit resentful.

  “Okay, so you have the basic skills down. It’s time to practice them. Here’s your job for today. Tonight, I want you to go home and log on. I want you to start a new conversation with at least two different men. If you have other guys you’re talking to, the more the merrier. But, before you go to bed tonight, I want you to commit to one more step. I want you to commit to at least exchanging emails with one or more of those guys. Can you do that?”

  “I suppose I can make myself do it. But I can’t promise that the guys will cooperate.”

  “Believe me, sweetheart. You are head and shoulders above your competition. I know this for a fact. So, let’s get on with this and make that next step that’s going to make you feel just as good as getting your hair done and not being so lonely at night. Do we have a deal?”

  Mackenzie thought about it momentarily and finally nodded, acquiescing to his suggestions.

  “Good. Now, pick up your fork and let’s have dessert.” He popped open the third box to reveal its strawberry creampuffs, bursting with whipped cream and covered with powdered sugar.

  “My gosh, that’s got to be 2,000 calories, all by itself.”

  “Yeah, probably so. Ain’t life grand?”

  Mackenzie nodded, getting his point completely. You do the work and you get the creampuff at the end.

  Chapter Ten

  Mackenzie did as she promised, going online that night after she got settled. She had to admit her hands were shaking a little bit, almost as if she were getting ready to walk a tight wire. She thought about Tim and the story of him and his wife, and with resolve, she clicked into the chat room to begin her search.

  She hovered over each man’s picture, reading his profile, age, height, and other general personal information. It was easy to tell some men were better educated than others, as their conversation flowed more easily. Other men either didn’t feel comfortable with words, or were trying to maintain their privacy and said only the minimal to get by.

  She decided to choose one who appeared to be about in the middle of the pack. His name was Jerry521.

  Mackenzie clicked on his name in a message box popped up.

  AliceWonderland: Hello, Jerry. My name is Alice. I read your profile and saw that you like collecting model trains. I know a tiny bit about this and wondered what scale you prefer?

  There was a pause in the system indicating to her that someone was checking out her profile. She assumed it was Jerry. Momentarily, the message box scrolled up with his response.

  Jerry521: Hello, there. Yes, I do enjoy model trains. I generally stick with HO scale as it’s the most readily available.

  Mackenzie read his words and assumed that at least he was halfway intelligent. She felt as though she were inspecting livestock at the county fair. This didn’t seem fair to him. That’s when she realized he was checking her out the same way she was checking the men out. Once again, it felt a little violating.

  AliceWonderland: Oh, that’s great. I’ve seen some really detailed model set ups. I know it’s a hobby that occupies a lot of time, as well as a lot of money.

  Jerry521: You’ve got that right. Do you have any hobbies?

  AliceWonderland: I’m sort of interested in trash to treasures decorating. I like to go by yard sales and flea markets to find the trash and then I take it back to my craft room and try to turn it into a treasure. Sometimes I have success, and sometimes I end up with a bigger mess that I started with.

  Jerry521: LOLOLOL. I’ll bet you do. Have you been on this site long? I’ve been on here for two weeks and haven’t met anyone were talking to yet. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me and that I should give up entirely.

  AliceWonderland: I completely get that. In some ways, I’ve been thinking the same thing. I was widowed two years ago, and this is the first time I reached out in a social sense. My friends are trying to convince me that online dating is the way to go. I’m not so sure.

  Jerry521: My wife divorced me three years ago. She left me for her best friend’s husband. That really hurt. So, I’m here, just like you are, looking for a new companion. The only difference is my brother was the one who talked me into it. He seems to think that I’m worth having.

  AliceWonderland: It sounds like you’re a little depressed?

  Jerry521: Others seem to think so. To me, it just feels normal. I’m pretty involved in my business, so I don’t get out much socially.

  AliceWonderland: Really? What do you do?

  Jerry521: I own and operate a window washing company. We specialize in commercial buildings and difficult to reach private residences. I have twenty or so employees, and our busiest season is during the warm months, obviously. What do you do?

  AliceWonderland: Nothing very important. I work for a small company, reviewing spreadsheets. Have you met anyone from online face-to-face?

  Jerry521: Not yet. I guess I just don’t have what it takes. I’m not very comfortable with the keyboard. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to talk to me on the phone? You could block your number so I don’t see.

  AliceWonderland: I understand. I suppose I could do that. Why don’t you give me your phone number?

  Jerry typed his number, and she wrote it down on a piece of paper.

  AliceWonderland: Thank you. I’ll call you shortly.

  Mackenzie’s heart was beating right out of her
chest. She was doing what she promised Tim she would do. She was going to that next level. In truth, instead of getting to emails, she was going to talk to someone on the phone. She hoped that would count for the same thing. Tim could be a hard taskmaster if he wanted to, she suspected.

  She got up from the desk and went into the kitchen to make herself a cold drink. Picking up her cell, she went into the preferences and blocked her telephone number. She had the piece of paper where she had written Jerry’s phone number and her finger literally shook as she tapped out the digits.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, there. This is Alice Wonderland.”

  “I suspected as much. I also figure Alice is not your real name? Could you tell me what it is?”

  “I’m Mackenzie. Are you Jerry?”

  “Yes, that’s me. I know it’s not a very fancy name, but my mother named me for my grandfather. My family came from Russia. Of course, his name was spelled with a G. I think there was actually a title connected to it at some point in time, but I’ve let that go.”

  “That’s very impressive, Jerry. Are you divorced?”

  “Yes, I told you that online. Don’t you remember or were you talking to several guys at once?”

  Mackenzie wasn’t sure she liked the tone of his voice, but decided that she wasn’t being entirely fair. “Yes, I remember now. I’m sorry. You’re the first guy have talked to on the telephone.”

  “Well, I don’t bite.”

  “I’m sorry I’m making this so difficult. I’m also new to this. It feels uncomfortable and foreign, and I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.”

  “I get it. And, it’s a rough world out there. So, I’ll tell you a little about myself. English is actually my second language. I was raised in Russia, and I was the captain of a submarine fleet for the Russian naval service. In fact, I was the youngest captain in history. I didn’t like the way things were changing after the wall came down in Berlin, so I decided to emigrate to the United States. I’ve obtained my citizenship here, and started my business, and as you know, I’m divorced now and have no children.”