by Alex Grayson
The door whooshes open again, and I jump to my feet when Dr. Snyder walks in. He’s an elderly gentleman with a headful of white hair, and he’s been great with Maisy. He reminds me of what a grandfather would look like.
Some of the tension eases from my shoulders when he offers a smile. “I’m sure you’ve been pretty anxious.”
“Yes.”
“Let’s sit.” He gestures to the chairs Declan and I were just sitting in.
I twist my hands together as the doctor pulls a chair over and takes a seat.
“Maisy’s in recovery and she’ll be moved to her room momentarily. She’ll be out for a while, which is good, because she’ll be in pain when she wakes up, but everything went smoothly. She now has a fully functioning kidney. I decided to leave her kidneys in place. It’s one less procedure her body will need to recover from.”
“The disease in her old kidneys won’t affect the new one?” Declan asks before I can.
“No. The disease that caused the damage to her kidneys has already done its damage. Her body just couldn’t repair the damage. Her old kidneys are now just useless organs in her body. I put the new one in her lower stomach.”
“So, she’s going to be okay?”
“We won’t know for sure for several weeks, but the chances of her body rejecting the kidney are only 3 percent, which is extremely small. She’ll be on anti-rejection medications just as a precaution, but I really think everything will go well. I’ll want to see her once a week for the first month after she’s released.”
I sag back in my chair and exhale deeply. My eyes sting and I squeeze them shut for a moment. Relief has me suddenly feeling drained of energy.
I open my eyes and look back at the doctor. “When can I see her?”
“Once the nurses have her settled into her room, they’ll come and get you.”
I lick my lips and rub them together. “And Judge? How is he?”
“Mr. Beckett is just fine, minus one kidney. He’ll recover faster than Maisy will, of course, and has already been taken to his room.”
My smile is watery as I get up from my chair. “Thank you so much, Dr. Snyder. I’d really like to hug you right now, but I’m sure that would be considered inappropriate.”
The doctor laughs and holds out one of his arms. “I won’t tell if you don’t. Maisy’s been such a dear the last few months. I’ve developed a soft spot for her.”
I walk forward and wrap my arms around the man that just saved my daughter’s life. Tears slip down my cheeks when I pull back. He smiles down at me.
“Hang tight for a few minutes, and a nurse will come escort you to their room.”
I nod and wipe my cheeks.
Declan holds his hand out to Dr. Snyder. “Thank you. For everything.”
After the doctor leaves, I fall back into my chair. My elbows go to my knees and my face falls to my palms. More tears flood my eyes and I don’t attempt to stop them. Finally, some good news. It’s been so long since we’ve had anything good happen to us that I don’t know how to react. Actually, yes there has been. Judge coming back into our lives, him offering one of his kidneys to our daughter, and paying for the procedure was very good news. There’s no way I could ever repay him.
“I told you that girl would survive this. She’s too much like her mama to let faulty kidneys take her down.”
My laugh is strained, but it still feels good to find humor in something. I scrub my hands over my cheeks and sit up straight.
“I haven’t said it near enough, but thank you, Declan. I don’t know how Maisy and I would have survived without you.”
“You both would have been just fine without me.”
I shake my head. “No, we wouldn’t have. You’ve helped in so many ways. Mom and Dad—”
“None of that. Let’s leave them out of this. My brother and his wife made their decision to not have anything to do with you and Maisy. They’ve lost two of the most precious females there ever was. It’s their loss.”
I rest my head back on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around mine. I push all thoughts of my parents away. Once again, he’s right. They’ve got no place in this waiting room. I’ve stopped crying over the loss of them years ago. If they refuse to see the amazing girl Maisy is, I certainly won’t give them the satisfaction of thinking of them.
FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER, my tennis shoes squeak on the floor as I follow the nurse down the hallway in the ICU. I want to scream at her to hurry up, but figure it wouldn’t do me any good. As it is, I’m so close to her that I’m surprised I haven’t stepped on her heels yet.
Finally, we stop at an open door with the number 313 on the wall. She holds out her arm. “Here you go. She’s still asleep, but when she wakes up, just press the call button and the doctor will come check on her.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”
She smiles kindly at me and walks off. I rub my sweaty palms down my pants legs before stepping inside the room. The first thing I notice is the steady beeps of the monitors. Those beeps send a mixture of emotions through me. Relief that my baby made it through her surgery. Misery that she needed the surgery in the first place. Worry that something will go wrong. Gratitude to the man who gave a part of himself to save our daughter.
My eyes land on the bed with the small body draped in a tan cover. She has a cannula at her nose and two IVs in her arms. Her long, dark hair has been braided and the thick rope is draped beside her on the pillow.
My legs feel numb as I walk closer to the bed. My throat closes and my eyes prick with tears. I blink rapidly to force them away. The last thing I want is for Maisy to see me crying when she wakes up. I grab her small hand in mine and gently bring it to my lips.
“Hey, baby,” I whisper, not wanting to wake her up until she’s ready.
I take a closer look at her face. She looks like she’s just sleeping, so peaceful, and I guess in a way she is. My mothering instincts have me wanting to crawl in the bed with her and hug her to my chest. Obviously, I can’t, so I do the next best thing. I lean over and kiss her soft cheek. Smelling her innocent scent has some of my nerves settling.
“I’m right here, Maisy,” I say and lay my forehead against hers. For what seems like the thousandth time, I send up a prayer that she’ll be okay.
The rustle of sheets has my head lifting. I look across the room to the second bed and find a pair of stunning green eyes looking at me.
“Hey,” I say quietly. Settling Maisy’s hand back on the bed, I walk around until I’m standing beside Judge. “How are you feeling?”
He looks tired, but no less the strong man I know he is.
“A bit sore, but nothing I can’t handle.” His eyes move past me to Maisy. “How did the surgery go?”
“Dr. Snyder said it went well and he expects her to make a full recovery with her new kidney.”
His eyelids shut and he exhales a long breath, no doubt relieved at the news. Judge may not have known Maisy long, but I’ve seen the way he looks at her. It’s the way he looked at me twelve years ago, with a deep sense of love. I didn’t realize until now how much I miss that look.
“She, uh…. Before she went in to surgery, she asked if she could be put in your room afterward. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”
“No.” His eyes turn soft. “I don’t mind. I’m glad she asked. It means I don’t have to leave my room to check on her.”
I look down at my shoes, overcome with emotion. The only person who’s ever loved Maisy as much as me has been Declan. Sure, I have a few friends who care about her and me, and she has friends herself, but this is different. This is deeper than mere friendship.
I know I must sound like a broken record, but I still look up and say tearfully, “Thank you. You’ve given her and me both something so precious.”
His gaze moves past me for a moment before he brings it back. “So have you,” he says gruffly. I hold still when he lifts his hand and
grazes his fingers over the scars on the underside of my jaw. His eyes narrow when they follow the movement before moving down to the ones on my collarbone. “We’re going to talk about this later.”
My fingernails bite into my palms, and my stomach muscles tense. I’m not surprised he found out—I knew it was only a matter of time—but I had hoped it wouldn’t be for a while yet. I kept the extent of my attack from him for a reason. I knew it would only cause more problems. He wasn’t to blame for what those three guys did, but solely for the way he treated me beforehand. He broke my heart and stomped on it with no explanation at all. That’s what I blamed him for. That’s what I still blame him for.
I give him a short nod. His fingers linger on my collarbone for several seconds. The apprehension I felt when he first touched me turns to something else. Something sensuous and seductive. Something that makes it feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Did someone turn up the heat, because I’m suddenly feeling way too hot.
My breath catches when Judge’s fingers take a turn. They move from my collarbone to the center of my sternum. His eyes flicker up to mine, and the look in them now has my heart thumping heavily in my chest. Heat and passion, a combination that used to always make me want to drop to my knees in front of him. I haven’t felt desire for a man in years.
“Ahh… I see you’re awake.”
I jump. Taking a step back, Judge’s hand falling away from me, I turn to the nurse as she rounds Judge’s bed. I cross my arms over my chest and hope my cheeks don’t give away the feelings coursing through me. Judge’s eyes are still locked on mine, so I spin away from him back to Maisy’s bed.
“How are you feeling, Mr. Beckett?” Judge grunts something I can’t understand. “Any pain?”
“No,” he answers.
“That’s good, but don’t get used to it. You’ll be feeling it soon enough.”
I keep watch over Maisy as the nurse speaks to Judge for a few more minutes. Once she leaves, I don’t turn back to him, and he doesn’t say anything else. I pull up a chair and sit down, my hand playing with Maisy’s fingers.
My thoughts stay on Judge and the old feelings I can’t afford to feel for him again. I don’t know how much time passes before I feel Maisy’s fingers twitch in mine. I stand up quickly, my eyes snapping to her face. Her brows wrinkle and her lips tip down into a frown.
“Maisy, baby? Can you hear me? It’s Mama.”
Her eyes move back and forth beneath her eyelids before they crack open into slits.
“Mama?” she says with a scratchy voice.
“I’m right here.” When her eyes open more, I smile down at her. “Hey, you.”
Her hand moves to her lower stomach where her incision is. “It hurts, Mama.”
An ache forms in my chest. “I know it does, baby, but it’ll get better.” I reach over her head and press the call button on the remote lying on her pillow. “We’ll let the doctor know you’re in pain when he comes to check on you. He’ll be here soon.”
She nods. “Is… Judge in here?”
I step to the side and look at the second bed. “He’s right—”
I stop, my mouth dropping open when I see Judge struggling to get out of bed. I let go of Maisy’s hand and rush over to him.
“What are you doing?” I grab his arm to try and stop him. “You shouldn’t be out of bed.”
“I’m fine,” he grunts.
“Judge, you just had your stomach cut open. Stop being tough. You’re not okay.”
Some things never change. The man was hardheaded back in the day too.
“Then help me get up,” he snaps. “This isn’t going to keep me from seeing Maisy.”
My heart melts at his demand. He can see her perfectly from his bed, which is only ten feet away from hers, but he wants to be closer. How can I deny him that?
“Here, lean on me.” I offer my shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. Even with him slightly hunched over, he towers over me.
I know he’s holding most of his weight on his own as we shuffle over to Maisy’s bed, me pulling his IV pole with us. As soon as we get to the chair I was using, I help him lower to the seat, Maisy’s tired eyes tracking our movements. Judge scoots the chair closer to the bed and grabs Maisy’s hand.
“How are you doing, Mase?”
He started calling her that a couple of days ago, after the day they played on the Xbox for the first time. Their whole relationship changed after that day. It turned less tense and more natural.
“My tummy hurts,” she answers.
He leans his elbows on the bed. “Mine does too.”
“It does? But you’re so big and strong.”
He chuckles. Maisy doesn’t see it, but I notice the slight wince on his face. “That’s true. Big and tough guys act like they never feel pain, but I promise we do. The doctor will give us both some medicine to make it feel better.”
Her eyes lift to mine. “Did the surgery work? Am I going to get better now?”
“Dr. Snyder thinks you’re going to be just fine, but we won’t know for a few weeks. We need to make sure your body will let Judge’s kidney work for your old one.”
“Okay.”
Just then, Dr. Snyder comes in the room, followed by a nurse. The doctor reprimands Judge for being out of bed, but his efforts are ignored. Judge stays by her side until she’s been examined. Only then does he allow the nurse to help him back in his own bed so the doctor can check on him next.
Dr. Snyder deems them both okay. As long as his incision begins to heal properly without signs of infection, Judge will be released in a few days, whereas Maisy will stay at least a week. The thought of going home without Maisy is heartbreaking, but I know she’s better off here in the hospital so she can be checked on often. We only live a few blocks away, so it’ll be easy to get here fast if I need to. Besides, I’ll be spending most of my days and nights here anyway, only going home to shower and change clothes. It does make me feel better that Judge will be here the first few days.
An hour later, I leave Maisy and Judge’s room to go let Declan know how they’re doing. They both fell asleep a few minutes ago, and I know they’ll be out for a while with the pain medication they were given. Judge grumbled, saying he didn’t want anything. The man is stubborn, but I understand his aversion to the way the drugs will make him feel. Being helpless and incoherent is never a good thing.
After I talk with Declan, I force him to go home and get some rest. Today started early and it was stressful for us both. I go to the cafeteria and grab a premade sub and a water and bring them back to the room. Once my food is finished, I curl up in the comfortable chair in the corner, and before I know it, my eyes drift shut and I’m fast asleep.
Chapter Ten
JUDGE
“DO YOU HAVE A FOUR?” I ask Maisy from my chair beside her bed.
“Nope. Go fish.”
I grab another card and stick it with the ones I have fanned out in my hand. I look at my six cards compared to Maisy’s two and know I’m about to lose. I’m being bested at Go Fish by an eleven-year-old.
“Do you have—” She puckers her lips to the side as she thinks. “—an ace?” I pull out the card I just picked up and hand it over. “Yah!” She pairs it with the one she already had and puts them down beside her other pairs.
“Do you have a ten?”
Unsurprisingly, she tells me to go fish again, this time with a giggle. I’ll lose every game I play with her if it means I get to hear that sound.
“Do you have a seven?”
I smirk when I tell her to go fish. She picks up a card and I ask for a jack, the card I just grabbed from the pile. I know she has it, because she asked me for it a couple of moments ago. She gives it to me and I pair it with mine.
We play for a couple more minutes until she sets down her last two cards, one of which she just took from me. We’ve been playing this game for over an hour with her winning more hand
s than me, something Maisy finds hilarious. It’s a simple enough game, so I can’t blame my losing on inexperience.
“I win!” she chirps proudly. “I’ve got fifteen pairs and you have eleven.”
I lean back in my chair and smile indulgently at her. “Guess that makes you the master at Go Fish.”
“Nah. I’m just lucky.” She stacks the cards and puts them back in the box. “When are Mom and Uncle Declan supposed to be back?”
I look at my watch. “Should be any minute now.”
She turns her head to the side but I see the frown appear on her face. I lean forward and bring her face back to me, not liking the desolate look.
“What’s wrong?”
Her teeth tug on her bottom lip. “I don’t want you to go,” she says quietly, her voice quivering.
I get up from the chair, wincing with the pain, and sit down gently on the edge of her bed.
“I’ll be back every day, okay? And your mom will be here too. You’ve only got a few more days until you’ll be home with us.”
She nods, but I know my answer doesn’t satisfy her. I hate hospitals. The smell alone has me staying far away from them, but these last four days haven’t been bad. I’ve enjoyed my time here with Maisy, even if the environment has been sterile, the smell abhorrent, and I’d much rather be at Ellie’s place with Maisy.
Shoes squeak on the floor, and I glance up just as Ellie and Declan come into the room. Ellie went home earlier to grab a shower and a change of clothes. The plan was for Declan to follow her back to the hospital and take me home once I’m released. It’s late afternoon, and the sun is already setting. With the drugs they’ve been pumping into me, I can’t drive myself yet, so I won’t be back to the hospital tonight. However, I’m stopping the painkillers tomorrow so I’ll be able to drive myself. I hate being dependent on anyone, especially Declan.
Maisy’s smile is big when she sees Declan, and a pang of jealousy hits me. He may be her great-uncle, but he’s been the only father figure Maisy’s had since birth. While I’m glad he was there for them both, it still irritates the fuck out of me that she may prefer him over me.