On the Rocks

by Kandi Steiner

  It was pretty standard for my brothers and me to get together sometime during the weekend to play cards.

  Ruby Grace, however, was a new addition.

  “That’s bullshit!” Logan yelled, thrusting his cards forward. They fluttered over the massive pot he and Ruby Grace had built up during the hand, and he sulked further when she reached forward with a grin to rake it all in.

  “Don’t hate the player, Logan.”

  “I hate the cheater,” he said, folding his arms over his chest.

  “I don’t even have sleeves to hide cards,” she pointed out, gesturing to her toned, tanned arms. “Come on, now. Beckers aren’t sore losers, are they?”

  “Don’t let his little boy actions speak for all of us,” Jordan chimed in. He was being a good sport with our new guest at the table, but I didn’t miss the questioning glances he shot me over his cards the whole night.

  Logan stuck his tongue out, but then smirked, shaking his head and gathering the cards for his turn to deal. “You didn’t warn us that you were bringing a shark to the table tonight, Noah.”

  I shrugged. “Ruby Grace is full of surprises.”

  Her eyes caught mine, then, my brothers picking up the conversation around us as we stared. Her smile was soft and sweet, the blush on her cheeks just barely visible now that her tan from the day was setting in. She held my gaze for a long while before tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear and picking up her cards for the next hand.

  I kicked back in my chair, checking out my own cards as the day floated through my mind. I couldn’t believe Betty knew my father, and the way she’d talked about him made my chest tighten. She was right — he was a good man. He was the best man, and it was a knife to my gut every time I realized that he wasn’t here anymore, that he didn’t get to see us boys grow into men, that he wouldn’t be there to stand next to Mikey when Bailey walked down the aisle to him.

  Or next to me, if I ever found a woman who would do the same.

  The next dozen rounds of poker flew by, and after Ruby Grace knocked all the guys out once again in a bigger hand, Mikey groaned, tossing his cards in and standing. “I need a root beer float. Anyone else?”

  Logan scoffed. “Uh, no thanks, Mikey. We’re all old enough to drink actual beer. But thank you.”

  “She’s not,” he pointed out, gesturing to Ruby Grace.

  That fact soured my gut a little.

  “And besides, you’re telling me that just because you’re old enough to drink beer, you don’t want a delicious root beer topped off with creamy vanilla ice cream right now?”

  Logan’s mouth pulled to the side, his eyes glancing around the table, to his cards from the last game, and back up again.

  “Alright, I give. That does sound fucking delicious.”

  Mikey smirked triumphantly. “That’s what I thought. One round of root beer floats coming up.”

  “You better not spill it down the sides,” Logan called after him. “I swear, if my glass is sticky, I’ll thwomp you!”

  “Extra sticky glass, you got it, big bro!”

  Logan humphed, pushing back in his chair before trotting after Mikey into the kitchen.

  “I better help,” Jordan said, standing. “If Logan goes into an OCD attack, no one is safe.”

  Ruby Grace chuckled lightly as Jordan tipped his imaginary hat at us, leaving us alone at the table. She leaned back in her chair, then, gathering her hair in one fist before letting it fall behind her. It exposed the delicate lines of her collar bone, the lean muscles of her neck, and I hated that I wanted to taste her so bad I had to physically hold onto the edge of the table to keep me from getting up and doing just that.

  Seeing her with Betty and the rest of the residents at the nursing home today hit me in a way I didn’t expect. She wasn’t anything like the girl in church. No, at the nursing home, she was boisterous, playful, entertaining. She was everyone’s highlight of the day, and she shone as bright as the sun did at that pool.

  They loved her, it was easy to see.

  And it was also easy to see why.

  When she came back to my place for dinner and to play cards, I’d sat on the opposite side of the table from her. I needed to put space between us — especially after being skin to skin in the pool, her toned stomach pressed against mine, her surprisingly ample breasts exposed in her little bikini top.

  But getting away from her didn’t prove to be helpful.

  If anything, it only gave me a better view of her hazel eyes, the freckles dotting her cheeks, her smooth, plump lips. I was thankful I couldn’t see her legs under the table, because I already knew what those did to me.

  And watching her with my brothers, handing out shit just as well as she was taking it from them, it made me feel something I never had before. I couldn’t even put my finger on it, what that warmth in my chest was, that sinking in my gut.

  As her phone lit up yet again with her fiancé’s name on my folding table, I realized it was a longing, a sense of loss.

  Because no matter how I tried to deny it, I wanted her to be mine.

  It was silly to even think it when we hadn’t so much as held hands, but I felt it — some sort of deep possessiveness over a girl I’d never have. She was going to marry another man, entertain his brothers, or family or friends. She would cook for him, hold him when shit got rough, be his rock when he needed to lean. She would wrap those pretty little legs around him at night, and I’d never get to touch them.

  Jealousy ripped through me, and I knew it was the wrong move, I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stop myself. When she reached for her phone like she was finally going to answer him, I called out her name.

  “Ruby Grace.”

  She paused, frowning at the phone before she looked up at me.

  “Want to get some fresh air with me on the porch while Mikey makes those floats?”

  I expected her to hesitate, to say, “Yes, but let me answer this call first.” Or to just flat out deny me. But, she smiled almost instantly, her cheeks high and rosy as she nodded, tucking her phone away in the purse she had hanging on her chair. “Sure.”

  Jordan eyed me suspiciously from the kitchen as I rose from my chair, meeting Ruby Grace on the other side of the table. I didn’t meet his gaze for long, though — maybe because I knew what facts he wanted to point out.

  I knew them very well.

  The night was pleasantly cool, considering how hot the day had been. That was what I loved about June in Tennessee. The days were long and hot, but the nights were cool — perfect for a bonfire or to get close to someone for a little warmth.

  “It’s beautiful out,” Ruby Grace commented, leaning her arms on the wooden railing of my porch. It had been old and rotted when I moved in, but it was my first project — fixing up the exterior. Now, the porch was maybe the best part of the entire house, rebuilt and painted white with a couple of rocking chairs Mom had gifted me when the project was done.

  I considered asking Ruby Grace to sit, but she looked so comfortable against the railing, her eyes scanning the yard and the houses across the street, that I just slid up next to her, instead.

  “It is. It was a nice day at the pool, too.”

  She smiled. “Thanks for coming with me today.”

  I shrugged. “Hey, there are much worse ways you could have made me pay for being such an asshole to you.”

  “Betty adored you.”

  “Oh, we’re totally getting married,” I joked.

  “Funny. She said the same thing.”

  I chuckled, letting the sounds of the crickets settle between us before I spoke again. “You were really in your element there.”

  Another smile bloomed on her lips, but this one fell a little too quickly. “Yeah.”

  “I liked you like that today.”

  She frowned, turning to me, then. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know,” I started with a shrug. “Carefree. Young. Unrestrained. You’re always so put together.” I paused. “I
like it better when you’re just a girl being a girl.”

  I could see the warmth in her eyes under the porch light as I spoke, but when I finished, she stood taller, shoulders back. “I’m a woman, thank you very much.”

  “Oh, trust me,” I said, eyes trailing down her legs. “I know that, too.”

  When I met her gaze again, she was biting her lip against a smile, and she turned back toward the yard, draping her arms over the railing once more. “I really do love it there,” she said after a while. “It was my favorite thing to do when I was in high school, spend a day volunteering at the home. My best friend, Annie, works there full time now.”

  “Did you think you would, too?”

  She considered that. “No, I don’t think so. I always pictured Annie and I going to UNC together, and then…” Her voice faded, and she glanced down at her hands hanging over the railing.

  At her ring, maybe?

  “And then?” I prompted her.

  “Oh, it’s silly. Anyway, I suppose nothing turns out how we imagined, right?”

  I frowned, turning toward her. I chanced touching the soft skin of the inside of her elbow, getting her to face me, too. “Hey, don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Don’t act like what you want doesn’t matter.”

  She swallowed, looking at the porch beneath us. “It’s just like I told you that night we went riding. Annie and I always had dreams of joining AmeriCorps. We wanted to give back, to travel and help others for a while after we graduated.” She smiled. “I just thought it’d be so fun, you know? I’d be with my best friend, we’d see new places, meet new people. I’d get to do what makes my heart happy.”

  “I remember you talking about that,” I said, also remembering how frustrated I’d been that she didn’t see that as an option anymore. That night, I had left it alone. But tonight, I wanted to probe. “What happened?”

  She sighed, finally pulling away from where I held her and leaning her hip against the railing. “Well, Annie found Trav. They got married, she’s pregnant now. She never did go to UNC. And I… well…” She held up her left hand, pointing to the rock on the third finger.

  I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I know it’d be a little different without Annie, but you could still go. Right?”

  She scoffed. “Of course not. I’m getting married.”

  “I guess I just don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”

  “It has everything to do with all of it,” she said, flustered. “I’ll be a wife. A politician’s wife. I have new duties now, new things expected of me.”

  “And would your new husband not understand if you wanted to chase your own dreams for a while?” I countered. “It wouldn’t be forever. Why can’t you have what you want while giving him what he wants, too?”

  She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

  “Oh, I think I understand just fine.”

  I stepped into her space, and before I could think better of it, my hand touched her arm, sliding up to her neck, her jaw, until I slipped my fingers in the soft strands of her hair and framed her face, tilting her gaze toward me again.

  “You deserve to have the things you’ve dreamed about, Ruby Grace,” I said. “And when you marry someone, you become a team. It’s not all about him and his dreams and his achievements. You are not just a sidekick.”

  I paused, licking my bottom lip as I considered my next words. Ruby Grace’s eyes were soft, wide, almost a little scared as she watched me.

  “You are the heroine just as much as he is the hero,” I reminded her. “And if he loves you, he will support you and your dreams just as you’ve supported his and will continue to in the future.”

  She leaned into my touch, eyes fluttering shut before they opened slowly again. “You make it all sound so easy,” she whispered. “So simple.”

  “With the right person, it is,” I told her. I swallowed, glancing at her lips before I found her gaze again. “If you were mine, Ruby Grace, your dreams wouldn’t come second to anything.”

  It was an overstep I didn’t mean to make.

  The words came out before I even realized what I was saying, and now, it was too late to go back. There was a line between us, one we never had to draw because that ring on her finger had drawn it for us the first day she came back into town. But there on my porch, in the soft, cool, Tennessee summer night, those rules didn’t seem to apply.

  We were in another universe altogether, and in this one, that ring on her finger didn’t exist.

  I hadn’t even realized her hands were on me, not until they fisted in my t-shirt at my abdomen, pulling me closer. My hand in her hair gripped a little harder, her eyes on my lips, mine on hers until we were so close I couldn’t even see them anymore. Our breaths met in the space between, hot and heavy with words we wouldn’t say.

  Her lips parted.

  Mine grazed hers, eliciting the sweetest gasp.

  But before I could connect the kiss, before I could pull her in, feel her melt into my arms, the front door swung open.

  Ruby Grace jumped back, folding her arms over the railing and looking out over the yard like she had been before. I looked up at the awning over my porch, suppressing a groan as Mikey bounded out, completely oblivious.

  “Two root beer floats,” he announced proudly, handing me two Mason jars filled to the top with the frothy vanilla ice cream and soda mixture. “And Ruby Grace, we demand a double-or-nothing rematch.”

  She finally turned toward us, her smile weak.

  She wouldn’t look at me at all.

  “Thank you, Mikey, but I actually have to run. I didn’t realize how late it was. Would you mind grabbing my purse?”

  He shrugged — again, completely oblivious. “Sure! Be right back.”

  When Mikey dipped inside, I sat the floats down on the table by the rocking chairs before turning back to her. “You’re leaving?”

  She still wouldn’t look at me.

  “I think we both know it’s for the best.”

  Her words twisted like a knife in my chest, but I didn’t have any words to say to make her stay.

  She was right.

  I hated it, but it didn’t change the fact that she was right.

  Mikey came out moments later with her purse, and the guys met her at the door, giving her a hug and a little more shit for taking their money. She was all gracious smiles and warm thank you’s until the door shut, my brothers back inside, leaving us alone on the porch again.

  I opened my arms. “Thank you for today. For tonight.”

  But she just stared at me, her eyes filling with tears that wouldn’t shed. “Why did you have to do this?”

  I frowned, letting my arms fall. “I—”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head, hands clinging to the strap of her purse like a lifeline. “Everything was fine. I was fine until I met you. You’ve messed everything up.”

  My brows furrowed more. “What, by reminding you that you have a choice? That you don’t have to marry someone who makes you feel this way?”

  “I love him,” she spat.

  “Fine. But does he love you?”

  She scoffed. “Of course he does. How dare you even insinuate otherwise.”

  I smirked at the word insinuate, sensing the well-to-do woman she was raised to be slipping back into place just like she always did.

  Shaking my head, I put my arms up in a mock surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Just forget about AmeriCorps, about school, about anything that doesn’t revolve around Anthony and his career. Clearly, you’re very happy and I was mistaken by saying anything at all. I sincerely apologize.”

  I was being an asshole. I knew it, but just like I’d overstepped earlier, I couldn’t stop myself from doing so now.

  I wanted her to wake up, to see what I saw.

  Even if it hurt.

  Ruby Grace’s bottom lip trembled a bit as she pressed it to the top, adjusting her purse on her shoulder before she growled a
nd stormed off my porch.

  “See you around?” I called after her.

  My only response was one middle finger thrown my way over her shoulder.

  Ruby Grace

  Once again, I found myself speeding through town with the top down on my convertible, cursing Noah Becker’s name.

  “Oh, the nerve of that man!” I growled, punching the gas again once I made the turn down the old road that led to my parents’ house. The warm night air whipped through my hair, little tendrils of fire red invading my vision as I drove. The radio was silent, the only noise the revving of my engine and the revving of my temper.

  Noah had crossed a line. He shouldn’t have held me the way he did in the pool, with his hands on my hips, his chest so close to mine. And then on his porch, he’d stepped into my space like he owned it, like I was his and not Anthony’s.

  And he’d even said it.

  “If you were mine, Ruby Grace, your dreams wouldn’t come second to anything.”

  My cheeks heated, a rush of blood flowing through me at the memory of my hands in his shirt, his in my hair, our lips touching just long enough to send a zip of desire through me.

  I’d nearly cheated on my fiancé.

  I shook my head, letting out another frustrated growl as I took the turn into my driveway.

  “It wasn’t even a kiss,” I reminded myself out loud. “We got a little too close, but that was it. It was a mistake. We were just caught up in the moment.”

  It would never happen again.

  And I promised myself I’d stay far away from Noah Becker to ensure it.

  By the time I put my car in park, punching the buttons on the consul to put the convertible top back in place, I’d made my decision. Noah was nothing more than the guy who showed me the barrel I purchased for Anthony. He wasn’t my friend, and he wasn’t someone I should lean on the way I had been.

  It didn’t matter how I felt around him, or how I found myself already caring about him and his family.

  He was a lightning storm, fun to watch from afar but dangerous to dance with.

  I wasn’t going to toy with that line of danger.