On Your Knees

by Liz Bradford

Amelia’s eyebrows rose. “Oh really?”

  “Yep.”

  Chapter 6

  Twenty Years Ago

  The oscillating fan blew across thirteen-year-old Ella on a hot day at the end of June. She was stretched out on her bed reading another one of her mom’s Nancy Drew books.

  “Elly?” Adam’s voice come from downstairs. The screen door slammed behind him. They had been best friends for years, having always lived just three doors down from the other. They had an open-door policy at each other’s homes; if the door was unlocked, come on in.

  “In my room!” she hollered down to him.

  She heard him run up the stairs two at a time, his long legs making it easy. “Hey!” He swung around the doorway and entered her room. He had easily grown another six inches in the last six months, so he now towered over her. It had only been two years ago that she had been taller than him. It was short lived, but she had rubbed it in his face.

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “Want to go swim down at the lake?”

  She jumped up off her bed and tossed her book onto the pillow. That was the best idea she had heard all day. “Let’s go!”

  Adam left her room long enough for her to change. She pulled on her one-piece swimsuit over her newly curvy body. Just over the last year her body had dramatically changed. She was no longer a lanky little girl, but her body was quickly becoming that of a woman. She threw on a pair of cutoff jean shorts and grabbed a towel and her sunglasses. She met Adam at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Mom, is it okay if Adam and I go swimming down at the lake?” She stuck her head around the corner so she could see her mom.

  “Sure, have fun and be careful. Just be back in time for dinner.”

  “Ok; thanks, mom!”

  They headed out the door, grabbed their bikes, and rode the two miles to the lake with the semi-public beach. They were surprised that hardly anyone was there, just a group of older teenagers they didn’t really know. They leaned their bikes up against a tree, and while Ella took off her shorts, Adam took off his shirt. She surprised herself by blushing a little at the sight of him without his shirt. It wasn’t, by any means, the first time she saw his bare chest, but recently she was developing a bit of a crush on her best friend. And apparently, she wasn’t alone. She looked at Adam and was even more surprised by the shimmering in his eyes as he watched her. The heat in her cheeks increased.

  She shoved him aside and ran towards the water; Adam was in quick pursuit.

  He caught her once she hit the water and wrapped his arms around her waist but tossed her into the water. She laughed uncontrollably, and a splashing war commenced. They both gave up eventually, and Adam said, “Want to swim out to the raft today? There’s nobody out there.”

  “Sure, but no racing! I’m still out of breath from all the laughing.” They leisurely swam out to the wooden raft that was anchored down in the middle of the small lake. There was no ladder on the raft, so as always Adam helped Ella climb up by letting her use his knee as a step. Once on the raft they both laid back and basked in the bright mid-afternoon sun.

  They were growing up fast and were beginning to feel like they were. Ella was finally an official teenager, and Adam was going to start high school in the fall and turn fifteen in October.

  Silence lingered for a few minutes, until Adam sat up and finally spoke. “Ella?”

  “Yeah?” she said without even opening her eyes.

  “Ella…”

  She sat up at his hesitation. “What is it?”

  “Well, I was talking to a few of the guys from basketball and well, apparently I’m the only one that hasn’t kissed a girl yet. Supposedly, if you haven’t kissed by the time you get into high school you get made fun of pretty badly.”

  “Oh. Guess you have to find yourself a girlfriend this summer, huh?” Her heart hurt at the thought. She didn’t want to share Adam. He was her Adam.

  “Or… or well, I was thinking… who better to kiss than your best friend?”

  Her eyes shot up and met his. “Really? You want to kiss me?”

  “I don’t want to kiss anyone else.”

  She smiled. He smiled back. Was he going to kiss her now?

  “Well, may I?”

  “Now?”

  “When else? Unless you want to do it somewhere else.”

  “No, here is fine.”

  They both looked at each other nervously, both completely unsure as to what to do. They scooted closer to one another until they were facing, and their knees touched with how they were both sitting, legs crisscrossed. Ella sat up straighter and bit her lip nervously. Adam fiddled with his hands in his lap, clearly not sure what do to with them. They giggled.

  “Okay,” Adam said, “we can figure this out. Should we just go for it?”

  Ella nodded. Adam’s face came toward hers, and she leaned towards him. As soon as their lips touched, her eyes slammed shut. The kiss didn’t last but just a few seconds, but in that time Ella’s heart took flight. She had no idea what she was feeling, but she liked it. Adam pulled back and smiled at her.

  “Well, you can’t say you’ve never kissed a girl, now.”

  Adam just smiled the stupidest grin she had ever seen on his face.

  She giggled. “You can kiss me again if you’d like.” A slight tease danced in her voice.

  “I would like.” And he leaned forward and kissed her again. This time his hands didn’t stay in his lap, instead they caressed her upper arms. His lips moved more this time, and she matched every move he made. As they kissed, they scooted closer to each other so that Ella’s knees rested on Adam’s thighs. His hand stroked her back, and she put her arms around his neck. Her spirit soared. She couldn’t believe she was kissing Adam, her Adam.

  Finally, they breathlessly pulled away from one another. Ella turned and dipped her feet into the lake. Her heart was beating so hard she thought it might launch into space, and her smile was so wide that her cheeks felt like they were going to split open. Adam came over and sat super close and put his arms around her shoulders. She leaned into him and looked into his face. His smile matched hers. She giggled, and he laughed in return.

  This is going to be the best summer ever!

  And it proved to be. Adam and Ella spent every possible minute together. Hours were spent down at the lake both swimming and making out. On raining days, they spent the days at one or the other’s house. However, their parents caught on to their developing romance and stopped allowing them to spend any time in each other’s bedrooms. They balked at the new rule but obeyed. So, they spent the rainy days in each other’s family rooms. Adam had just learned to play the guitar, so they would sit and sing together for hours. Adam’s favorite song to play and sing to Ella was “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison. She loved it and would always add some harmonies to his boyish soprano that by the end of the summer had become a tenor.

  One Friday evening in the beginning of August, Ella and Adam had been out on the trampoline in her backyard. They had been jumping and trying to best each other in flips, but now had lain down with their heads near each other and looked up at the stars. When Ella’s mom came out the squeaky back door, they both groaned since they were sure she was coming out to send Adam home. But to their surprise she said, “Hey, you two want some popcorn and Cokes?”

  “Yes, please, Mom. Thank you!” Ella rolled onto her stomach and looked at her mom.

  “Yes, thank you Mrs. Perkins,” Adam added.

  “No problem, you two. It’s a gorgeous night. Enjoy a bit of it before Adam has to go home.” There it was. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  Ella rolled back to her back, and Adam grabbed her hand. She intertwined her fingers in his and looked over and smiled at him. Neither of them said anything until after Ella’s mom had brought out the popcorn and Cokes. They sat up and enjoyed their snack.

  Adam swigged his Coke. “Ella?”

  “Yes, Adam?”

  “You’ll marry me when we g
row up, right?”

  She smiled. “Of course. Just don’t forget about me when you’re in high school without me this next year.”

  “I could never forget you. I love you, Ella.”

  “I love you, too, Adam.”

  He scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. She leaned her head onto his chest. She wanted that moment to last forever.

  But it didn’t.

  The first day of school came way faster than either of them had wanted. It was the first time since Adam was in kindergarten that they hadn’t gone to the same school. He had always been a year ahead since he was over a year and a half older, but their school had gone through eighth grade, so they had always been together. Not as much as when she was in second and he was in third. That year they had even been in the same second/third split class. That was the year they had become completely inseparable. But this year, they didn’t even ride the same bus. Adam’s bus left an entire half hour before hers. But on the first day of school she met him at the bus stop.

  “You didn’t have to come out here and wait with me, Ella.”

  “I know, but I wanted to. I wanted to send you off to a good first day of high school.”

  He smiled and kissed her deeply. They stood there hugging until his bus pulled up.

  “Well, I guess I have to go. Love you, my brown-eyed girl.”

  “Love you, too. Have a good day. I can’t wait to hear about it.”

  He gave her a quick kiss and climbed on the bus and waved to her as it pulled away.

  That was the beginning of the end.

  It was a gradual drifting. As school got underway, they both became very busy. Adam joined the track team and that kept him busy after school most days. They still made time to see each other, but it was much less often than they would like. One evening, Ella was sitting on Adam’s front steps waiting for him to get home. He had promised they would have some quality time that evening, but when he arrived home he was with a group of guys from school.

  She jumped to her feet. “Hey, Adam!”

  “Hey, Ella!” he said with a smile.

  “Jamison, what the heck is she doing here? You’re in high school now, you can’t hang out with middle schoolers,” Conner Malton said.

  Ella’s heart plummeted. Surely Adam would stand up for her.

  Connor continued, “Get out of here, Fatso.” He walked past her toward the house, and the other guys followed, except Adam.

  She looked at Adam, her heart ripped a little.

  “I’m sorry, Ella. But I guess you should go. I’ll find you tomorrow.”

  He hadn’t stood up for her. He chose the guys over her. He broke his promise to spend the evening with her. Her heart ripped in half.

  But she didn’t give up hope on him. Not yet. They still hung out some, but not nearly enough for Ella’s liking. One spring afternoon Ella was once again sitting on Adam’s steps. She didn’t jump up at the sight of him, instead she just sat there and waited for him to come sit down next to her. She was tired of the uncertainty she felt with him. Hopefully, he would have time for her now that the basketball season was over.

  “Hey,” He sat down next to her.

  “Hi. Can we actually hang out tonight?”

  “I wish. I have so much homework, though. I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven’t even started.”

  Her heart dropped to the ground.

  “I’m sorry.” He put his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him. “You could come in and hang out with me while I work.”

  “You know your mom won’t let that happen. Plus, you know you won’t get anything done.”

  He gave her a mischievous smile. “True. How about ten minutes? My mom isn’t home yet. Come inside, and we can hang out for a bit?”

  She liked that idea. It was her turn to give a mischievous smile. She hopped up and followed him inside. They sat on the couch and started kissing.

  “Ella,” Adam said as the pulled away briefly, “you know I still love you right?”

  “Yes, but I miss spending time with you. And not just making out for ten minutes. I miss going places together, playing cards, singing.”

  “I know. I do, too. This summer, we’ll do all that. I’m all yours once school is out.”

  She smiled. But June seemed so far away.

  They kissed again, and he leaned her back onto the couch. His kisses were deep and passionate, and she matched them. But when Adam’s hand started wandering, she stopped him. “Adam, no.” It wasn’t the first time she’d had to stop him. Last summer they had gone too far for her comfort on many occasions.

  “I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He lowered himself down to the couch beside her and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her head in his chest.

  “I love you, too, Adam.”

  He kissed her head.

  That was the last time they made out.

  When the last day of school finally arrived. Ella found Adam sitting on her steps when she got home. She smiled, but her heart dropped.

  “Ella! It’s summer! I’m all yours.”

  “Oh, Adam.” She fell into his arms.

  “Ella,” her mom called from in the house, “No time to hang out with Adam, you need to pack.”

  “Pack?” Adam asked with dismay.

  “Yeah, I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet. My grandmother is really sick, so my mom and I are going there to help her.”

  “You can’t stay here with your dad?”

  “No. Mom won’t let me. Apparently, Dad has some business trips planned.”

  The look on Adam’s face broke her heart. His lips were pressed together, and his eyes closed. Disappointment seeped from every pore.

  “I’ll be home at some point. I’ll be all yours.”

  “Okay.”

  “Eleanor!” her mom called again.

  “I have to go, Adam.”

  “Okay. Bye, Elly.”

  “Bye, Adam.” He gave her the last kiss they would share.

  That summer was awful. She never saw Adam. The few weeks she was home, he was gone, either to basketball camp, or to his dad’s, since his dad had left his mom and him during the winter and had moved away with his new girlfriend.

  When the new school year finally rolled around, Ella was so excited to finally be in high school. Finally, she and Adam could be something again. But he wasn’t at the bus stop when the bus arrived. She climbed onto the bus and found a seat and saved one for Adam. He jumped onto the bus just before it was about to pull away. He smiled when he saw her, but before he could make it back to where she was sitting, Sandra, a tall, skinny, popular girl, grabbed his arm and pulled him into the seat where she was sitting. His rueful smile and the longing and heartache in his eyes as he surrendered to Sandra shattered Ella’s heart.

  And that was the end. A month later when Adam got his driver’s license, he no longer even rode the bus. They hardly even saw each other anymore. They both were busy with their own activities. She was in choir and wrote for the school newspaper. He was the quintessential jock. She became an outspoken proponent for abstinence before marriage. He had a new girlfriend every couple of months. Adam Jamison and Ella Perkins were history.

  Chapter 7

  Present Day

  Thursday morning Adam massaged his temples and attempted to keep his eyes open at his desk. After leaving Jared and Becca’s last night he had gone home and gotten completely wasted. He had skipped the beer and went straight for the hard stuff. The news that Ella had been raped, and to find her apartment ransacked by a killer, had been too much. He was paying the price this morning, though. He hadn’t made it into the station until nine, but no one said anything. Despite lots of coffee and ibuprofen, his head felt like a jackhammer was doing a polka on his skull. He tried to work through the details that the tech team had been able to come up with since last night, but it wasn’t much. No sign of entry. Her apartment had been locked when he went up. He remembered that significantly as he had struggled
with the lock for a second since the bolt was stiff. No fingerprints were left. They were still working on the knife used.

  There wasn’t much more he could do other than paperwork, so he sat at his desk most of the morning working on his reports, just waiting for Amelia to bring Ella in to give her testimony. They were going to need to have her go back through what was probably the worst day of her life. But it was necessary.

  Around noon he looked up and saw them walk into the squad room. Ella looked as beautiful as always. Her strawberry-blonde hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, and her makeup was subtle, but that’s what made her so much more beautiful than most of the women he dated who gobbed on the makeup. Ella’s beauty was natural. It radiated right out of her soul. Her curvy figure was graced in a pair of simple blue jeans and a striped blue blouse.

  They came over to his desk. “Good morning, ladies,” he greeted them and grimaced. He had moved his head too quickly.

  “Good morning, Jamison. That’s what I figured. That’s why I brought you this.” Amelia set a brown paper bag in front of him. “According to Becca and Jared, these are the best things to cure that hangover.”

  He was a bit embarrassed that his partner expected him to have a hangover today, but there was a good chance that Ella had told her about their history last night, so she would know how much this was affecting him. But in front of Ella? Oh well. It is what is. He looked in the bag, banana, a Gatorade, some crackers with honey, and an egg salad sandwich.

  “Thanks, Amelia. I think you know me too well.”

  Amelia sat at her desk and smiled.

  He looked at Ella. “I hope you don’t still hate eggs.”

  She scrunched up her nose. “I was trying not to gag while she made it.”

  He chuckled and pulled a chair over to his desk for her to sit in. “How are you doing this morning?”

  “Okay, I guess.” She sat and looked down at her hands.

  “Sleep at all?”

  “Not really. Amelia and I stayed up too late talking.”

  “About me?” he guessed.

  She smiled an adorable little smile that caused her cheeks to redden a bit. He was right. “Maybe,” she replied. “Among other things. But even when I did go to bed, I didn’t sleep very well.”