How the Mind Breaks: A Dark Psychological Romance

by Dani René

  He releases my hand, and I reach for my dress before pulling it over my head and shimmy it down my body. I then unbutton my jeans and shove them off.

  “Good girl. Now take your panties off and meet me downstairs. If you try anything funny, I’ll make you fucking regret it.” I’m left alone to make the final change he requested, and the fear I felt earlier returns with a vengeance.

  Tonight, isn’t a party. Tonight, I’m being auctioned.

  My head spins from the memory. I remember the night perfectly, as if it was yesterday. The pain and sadness were enough to send me spiraling. To take the slow lick of dread and mark me forever. My father sold me, and I was sent into hell. He smiled and waved me off as I walked out of the house I called home for sixteen years.

  Everything that happened to me that night and all the nights after changed me.

  I’ve become this.

  I had no choice.

  I chose this life.

  The life of a murderer.

  They’ll find you.

  They know where you are.

  I may have killed my captors, but I haven’t killed the one who sold me. Pulling on my leather shorts, I zip them up and pivot in front of the mirror. My ass is curvy, sexy, and I know it’s the one way I’ll get into the compound. I inherited my long, dark curls from my mother. Having an African American mother and a Spanish father has given me beauty beyond my imagination. My tanned skin and dark eyes make for an alluring vision. That’s what they used to sell me.

  My curves are hugged by leather and lace. Tonight, the club is my first stop, then on to the warehouse. Grabbing the sleek, silver blade, I slide it into my knee-high, onyx suede boots. One last look at my makeup, and I head into my living room, grab my purse and keys, and then make my way down to the car.

  I’ve been driving my jet-black Benz for three years, and the darkened windows give me privacy as well as hide the gun that always rests on the passenger seat when I’m alone.

  I wonder if he’ll be at the club tonight.

  A man like no other. Sexy, handsome, and strong. Those honey-colored eyes pierce everyone he stares at. There’s an awareness to him, something different, as if he’s searching for something, or someone.

  The first time I saw him, I wanted him. Scrap that, I fucking needed him. But when I saw him leave with her, I knew I didn’t have a chance. Not for long though. I’ll weave my way into his life. One way or another. I’ve been doing this too long to lose to that bitch.

  He’ll be mine. Her life will be mine.

  She plays the sweet, innocent act too well, but the thing is, she doesn’t know I’m back. She thinks she’s safe, but she’s so far from it. She’ll never be safe again. Not until I finish what was started all those years ago. Not until her final breath. The last one she’ll take, and I know that, because I’ll be the one to deliver the final blow.

  Braxton

  The Past

  “This is it.” I stab at the screen. Grant stares at the information, but all I get is a deep grunt. Ignoring him, I continue. Renewed confidence has my mind spinning at what I can do. “We can take this asshole down. I’ll find that fucker and make him pay. Miguel Alvarez will beg for his life, and I’ll show no mercy.” Even though the search ends here, I’ll keep digging. I’ll dig so fucking deep until there’s a hole big enough for her father to fit into.

  “And you’re going to do this with my help,” he states matter-of-factly, giving me a no nonsense look I can’t refuse.

  “Thanks, man. This is almost ten years in the making, just to find out that the girl I’m fucking is related to that monster.”

  “You mean the girl you’re falling for?” he challenges. Snapping my gaze to his, I open my mouth to respond, but shut it again, because deep down, I know he’s right. There’s no doubt I’m falling for Tia. “It’s written all over your face, man, no need to deny it. I’m sure everyone’s noticed, including her.”

  “If she has, she hasn’t said anything. I didn’t give her a chance.” My mind flits back to last night when she found me in the living room drinking her bourbon. I didn’t tell her I’d found her purse or discovered her real name, and I should’ve. I promised her I’d wait, but I’m not sitting around. She’s going to have to trust me.

  Somehow, I doubt she knows about her father’s dealings, and if she does, it puts her in more danger than we thought. There’s something else about her, something she’s hiding, and I’ll find out what it is.

  Grant slumps into the chair beside my desk and watches me. “What?” I ask without meeting his intense gaze. “Spit it out, man.”

  “This girl, I know she’s something special to you. I’m not telling you how to live your life, because fuck knows I don’t even know how to live mine, but just be honest with her. Tell her about your folks, what happened to them, who killed them. Allow her to understand. And I think you should tell her about your search for her father. If you’re serious about her, and she about you, then nothing can come between that.”

  I stare open-mouthed at him. I’ve known this man for so long, and we’ve never really spoken openly about our personal lives. It’s always been work, but as I look at him, I can see there’s a man behind the soldier exterior. “I’ll think about it. Right now, she’s not giving me her full story, so I don’t want to freak her out and have her running for the hills. I want her with me all the way.” My confession startles us both, because his eyes widen in shock. My expression must give away the same emotion because he smirks then, nodding in understanding. Never in my life did I think I’d fall so deeply, but I am. I’ve done it.

  Deep down, I wonder if Mom and Dad would have been proud of me. Of her. If I brought her home, I know my mother would have fussed over her. I just wonder if she is my forever, or am I barking up the wrong tree?

  She’s got a lot she’s hiding. I’m curious to see how this plays out. If we’ll move past this hurdle and both learn to trust. Finding out that her father is the owner of the club we’re taking down is a breakthrough. I’d love to walk in there right now and fuck his shit up, take down the sick fuck once and for all, but I know we’ve got to do this right.

  With rules to follow, I need to calm down and go into it with a rational head. Although, who am I kidding? I’m never rational around her. She’s like a fucking storm, sweeping through my life, and taking down everything in her wake. And I’m gladly letting her do it.

  I didn’t think about falling for her all those times I sat in the bar and watched her flirt with my best friend, but since he’s out of the picture, and I’ve gotten to know her, I can safely say she was made for me. All she needs to do is let me into that stubborn head of hers.

  It’s one of those days, the heat is unbearable, and I’m pulling on my white sleeveless tank when I hear the call come through. “Hey, man, we need to get out of here now.” I glance at my partner, Ryker. He’s been my best friend since we were kids. When I signed up, so did he.

  “Let’s jet.” I grab my belt, looping it through my uniform pants, and we head out into the blistering heat. Our regiment has been deployed here for three years. We’ve not been on the frontline, but we’ve seen some pretty gruesome shit.

  Jumping into the Jeep, Ryk starts the engine, and we tear out of the compound into the main city. Everything is brown. Dust settles on every surface, and if I closed my eyes, I would be able to tell exactly what everything looks like still. This tiny town we’ve overtaken has become home. Each house looks the same, but the people, they’re the ones who are different.

  It’s painful, heart-wrenching to see the hurt in their eyes. They live with the threat of murder, death, and losing limbs on a daily basis. It’s sickening that we’re here to defend them when it’s their own people trying to hurt them. “Watch! Watch!” Pivoting, I glance at the teenage boy screaming at us. Before I have time to react, something lifts the jeep, flinging me from the seat.

  There’s screaming, the heat burns, and suddenly, there’s black.

  Shaking my h
ead of the memory, I check the time and realize I’ve got to get going. I’m meant to be meeting my girl in twenty minutes. I haven’t heard from her all day. Granted, we’ve been busy at HQ setting up our plan to take down the fucker, Miguel Alvarez, and his fucked up club.

  The dangers involved mean we have to take every precaution. We can’t lose men on this job, and I’m concerned about Ryker. He’s been AWOL for almost a week. When he stormed out of the office, he didn’t come back, and he hasn’t responded to calls or messages.

  He’s a grown-ass man, but deep down, I know he’s also a broken kid. His life hadn’t been easy. Losing his mother at an early age left him with a man who was an alcoholic. Most of his childhood was spent at my house, and as we grew up together, I saw the bruises and scars on his arms and legs.

  Now when I look back on it, I should have told someone. I just hope he can get his life back together.

  Pushing off the chair, I grab my jacket and shrug it on. With my phone in hand, I send a quick message to Tia letting her know I’m on my way. As I head down the stairs, Grant glances up and crooks his finger, calling me over.

  “You should see this man.” He points to the screen. When I lean in, I notice a woman, beautiful, with long, dark hair walking alongside Ryk. They’re heading into Innuendo. What the hell is he playing at?

  I can’t see the woman’s face, but from her profile, she looks like Tia. “He’s going to the club we’re going to raid in two days?”

  “Looks like he’s with your girl,” Grant remarks quietly. He’s right; she looks very much like my woman, but it can’t be. Can it?

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I hit dial on her number. It rings and rings but ends up going to voicemail. This doesn’t make sense. She hates him. Why would she be going out with him?

  My mind races with confusion, and my heart hammers in my chest. I should go there. Find the man I used to call best friend and knock him the fuck out. Jealousy abates, leaving anger in its place.

  “I’m coming with you,” Grant says quickly. I glance at the man beside me as he rises and grabs his holster and jacket. “Let’s go.”

  Without a word, we head out to my car, and when I peel out of the parking lot, the only thing on my mind is how the fuck I’m going to stay calm and not kill Ryker.

  “Shit!” Grant’s growl drags my attention from the road. “Pull over, now!” he orders gruffly, and I do. Luckily, we’re on a quiet road. When I put the car in park, he hands me his phone.

  I read the email from our intel guy, and my blood runs cold. Words blur, my mind races, and my heart thuds painfully against my rib cage. Tia’s medical records. FUCK!

  Tia

  The Present

  “So, you’re in love?” she asks me in her quiet way. The word love is a foreign concept. I haven’t felt it for so long. I’ve become accustomed to anger, hatred, and sadness. Perhaps love is something people only claim to feel. “Tia, do you love Braxton? You can tell me. Anything you’re feeling, you need to embrace.”

  I nod.

  “And does he love you too?” A small smile plays on her lips at the question, which makes me grin. He does love me. I know he does. Even though we’ve not said those words to each other, I know he loves me. I see it in his eyes. Those caramel pools shine like gold when he looks at me.

  Perfect.

  “Tia, you’ll need to tell him the truth soon. You can’t live a lie with him. If you love each other, there’s only one thing you need to do, and that’s come clean. Don’t you want to be clean, Tia?” Her question jolts me out of the reverie of happiness and dips me into the dark, inky blackness.

  “You know I can’t tell him. If I do, he’ll leave. Just like everyone good in my life.”

  “Lies are not the way to build a relationship, Tia. There are things you’ll need to tell him before you can form a bond. And from the look in your eyes, you’ve already fallen deeply in love with him.” She’s right as she always is. She’s inside my mind, reading it like an open book. Am I an open book? Are my pages bared for all to see?

  “Lies are the only thing I have to hold on to. They’re a constant,” I tell her harshly. It’s rude. My anger rises like a slow, licking fire, heating my blood that rushes through every vein in my body.

  “Sometimes you have to let go of your past,” she murmurs, scribbling on her notebook. As if she’s writing letters to someone. To my father? To me?

  “Letting go means walking away from my goal. My plan. Everything I’ve worked so hard for. If he knows, if he ever learns who I am, I’m not sure I’ll be free. He’ll have me locked up, and they’ll throw away the fucking key.”

  She nods. Agreement swirls in the air around us, and I know she’s contemplating how to go ahead with this. How does she expect me to walk away from Braxton?

  If he knows about my sordid past, it will be the end of something before it ever started. I’ve never wanted more, never wanted someone to love me. But with him, I do.

  “I love him. I’m not losing him because you told me to,” I bite out harshly. “This is my life, not yours. Have you ever loved someone more than your own life and didn’t understand why? Did you ever feel so complete with someone that the moment they step out the door you’re once again a fragment of what they make you? And tell me something, have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and truly known that you were made for them? That the reason you were born was to be their partner, their wife, or husband, that they make you whole?”

  My tirade stops as she regards me with an expression akin to pity. Sadness mars her face. Soft, smooth skin crinkles into a frown, her dark brows knit together, and her eyes darken with fear, anger, and frustration.

  It’s been so long, and she’s no closer to figuring me out than I am to finding out why I’m here. Why do I come here every week? I don’t know.

  It’s not like it’s helping me. My mind is still fucking broken. The only thing right in my life is the man I love. “This is over. This will be the last time I come here.” I stalk past her and head toward the door.

  “Tia,” she calls quietly, and when I turn, her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Come back. Just give me one more day.” Her plea is heartfelt. So much emotion. So much love. Confusion settles in my mind once again, but I don’t give her an answer. I twist the door handle and step through the threshold into normality.

  Isabelle

  The Past

  “You think I wanted this? My life was never as perfect as yours!” My voice is shrill in the dark. Her pretty face is still so perfect, even after I slapped her, even after I punched her. Hate spirals through me like a venomous serpent slithering, ready to strike.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A melodic voice filled with fear, anger, and rage is music to my ears. Everything about her being tied up at my mercy shoots adrenaline through me.

  She’s always been the innocent one.

  The favorite.

  Not anymore. She’s going to pay, slowly, filled with the pain I had to live through. She’ll experience every inch of her skin aching, bleeding, and burning. Her body and mind will join mine in the darkest depths.

  “Please, don’t hurt me. I don’t know who you are.” Her pleas turn me on. Yes, they do. So fucking hot. Every time I begged and pleaded, they would only fuck me harder, deeper, rougher. Until I couldn’t walk. Shaking my head of the memory, I grab the scalpel. Her eyes are still covered with a thick, black blindfold, and I know her hearing will be prickling from the sound.

  Using their methods, the same ones they used on me, I know how it feels, I know how it sounds. As I near her, I see the tremble that shakes her. Fear. So, fucking beautiful.

  When I found Ryker, saw him with her, I knew he could be swayed. I watched him for months. Saw how he would fuck every woman from here to the East Coast. The moment I stepped up and flirted with him, he bit the poisoned apple I held out, and he was mine.

  It didn’t take long for me to whisper dark thoughts to him. He admitted he was only
with her to pass the time. But then he learned about my past, about how she didn’t do anything to help me survive the pain and agony I had been put through. I made sure he heard every sordid detail. The darkness inside him came to life, I saw it flourish. And I made him feel for me what I knew he couldn’t feel for her. Yes, I may have painted her as the bad sister, but that’s only because it’s true.

  She spent her life as the apple of daddy’s eye while I was sold off into the trade where I learned more about torture than I care to admit. But now it’s come in handy because I have knowledge she could never fathom. Having Ryker turn on her will ensure she sees how weak she really is. Thinking she could use him; she will learn that she’s nothing more than a broken toy.

  For a long time, I thought I was the shattered one, but her mind broke long before mine ever did. I’m strong. I was meant to lead, and I’ll have everything she could never dream of because I’ve survived.

  Ryker’s promise to stand by me as I finish this off has given me renewed strength. And seeing her pain as she realizes he was only with her because I pushed him toward her will make this revenge that much sweeter.

  I smile because I knew all along, he was the man for me.

  “You do know who I am. Or did you block that out as well?” I whisper quietly. I know she recognizes me. Her head shakes left to right again. Gripping the hair at the nape of her neck, I tug back, my mouth at her ear. “You will learn what happens to little princesses. My life has been a nightmare. My nightmares haunt me, and you know why? Because your precious little face was too fucking innocent.”

  “What? I don’t understand. Let me go!” If I pleaded like this with them, I’d have been whipped and beaten. She should be grateful I’m not them.