How the Mind Breaks: A Dark Psychological Romance

by Dani René

  “And you’ve told him everything?” She grins with pride on her beautiful face, and I nod. He knows everything. He knows about how I attacked the barmaid in the club when I found Ryker fucking her. He watched me, saved me from doing something stupid. Braxton had to rip me off her, but not before I got my claws into her pale flesh. “What about Laney?” My best friend, or only friend, who had turned out to be a spy for my father.

  “Braxton did a background check when I went missing. He remembered her from the nightclub and found out she was put in place by Miguel and Isabelle to keep an eye on me.” My heart hurt so much at that. Apparently, her boyfriend was one of my father’s men. I recall his nickname for me now and why I hated it so much. His father used to call me that when he . . . when he was at our house, raping me. He hurt me more than I had ever imagined. The first man to make me bleed besides my father, of course. My subconscious obviously remembered the word, Pussycat, but not the reason why I hated it so much.

  “That was the last time I saw her, at the nightclub,” I confess. “Braxton has been searching for her, but I have a feeling my father may have gotten to her.”

  She nods again. Pushing off the chair, she walks over to the cabinet and opens it. Lifting something, she turns and holds it out to me. It’s a photo. Her, Belle, and me. I remember when it was taken. Just before she was brutally murdered by my father.

  “I love you, Tia, but it’s time for you to go now. Live your life. You don’t need me anymore.” Her voice is sad, filling my heart with a similar emotion. I want to mourn her. To cry and wail. To drop to my knees and beg her to stay. But I know I can’t. It is time for me to go.

  “I love you too, Mom. I’ll always remember you,” I promise, and she nods.

  “I’ll always be here . . .” She presses her fingers to my chest where my heart is, and I blink, allowing the tears to fall. “Goodbye, my Tia.”

  Braxton

  The Present

  “Are you sure she’s ready? She’s not going to lose it?” I ask the doctor.

  He nods. “She’ll have moments of confusion, but you’re there. You’re her grounding anchor.”

  Shaking my head, I recall how my girl’s eyes lit up when I told her we were going home. The day I walk out of here with her has finally come, and it’s the happiest fucking day of my life.

  When she finally killed her father, her mind snapped. It was as if a cord had been cut, and we had to bring her in. Every day, I’ve been in this hospital, in this ward where they keep other mental patients, because of her, because of us. Retelling her everything about us and what happened, I waited with bated breath until she’d finally looked at me the way she did before her mind retreated into a world she’d created to escape. She doesn’t know or remember when we first met as clearly as she once did. If I were her, I would block it out as well. But all those times I sat in the stark room telling her our story, she let the words permeate her mind.

  Now that her father is dead, we’ve managed to bring down his organization. Hundreds of workers, men that had helped him sell girls, drugs, and weapons were either killed when they attempted to flee, or they’re sitting in a maximum-security prison. We freed many girls. Corp had them housed in an old school where they’re learning to read, write, and work. Learning life skills that they’d never been taught.

  Isabelle was locked up along with Ryker for kidnapping my girl, among other charges that have put them away for life. The crimes that they’ve both had filed against them are horrific. It’s sad to see Tia’s sister spiral that far down and hit rock bottom. Her father’s influence took over, and he created a monster by using his oldest daughter as a bargaining chip.

  When Team One took the warehouse where Miguel was being held, Corp had a backup, which I didn’t know about. If it weren’t for him, both Tia and I would be dead. Now that we’re free of the evil of her family, and this place that’s kept her in something resembling a goddamned padded cell, I’m going to make sure her life is as normal as it can be.

  I want the white picket fence and the children; I even want a damn dog.

  It’s been a long year for her, the therapy sessions, the medication, and I even ended up doing time with the psychologist to understand her mental health as well as mine. Yes, Tia will need constant care, but I’ll be there for her. No matter what.

  Now that my girl is ready to walk out of here with her mind intact, I’m ready to take her and make her mine. Marry her.

  When they told me it was time to leave, that she was ready to be released, I knew what I had to do. I planned and made sure that we had a place to go. Somewhere we can call home. Her body is so fragile, almost as delicate as her mind after everything we’ve been through, she’s been through, but she needs to live her life now.

  I step into her room and find her standing at the suitcase I brought this morning. “It’s time for us to go home, Tia.” She nods with a smile. I’ve waited for this day for twelve long months.

  Every day, I spent by her side.

  Waiting. Watching. Needing.

  We’ve been through our story.

  She’s been through therapy.

  We’ve both learned to be around each other, with each other, and she’s finally able to stop hiding from me. Her mind has stopped running, disappearing into that fucking fake world.

  She’s here with me now, and I’m not letting her go anywhere near that darkness. There was nothing I could do before but be by her side and pray to all the Gods there are that she holds onto me, rather than whatever she had within her.

  As I recollected our story, I watched her come alive. Those beautiful eyes regarded me with more than affection; they looked at me with love. I told her everything that happened, the bad and the good. I told her how her smile would shine through my dark fucking thoughts. I spilled my heart to bring her back to me.

  Honesty was best with her. I even told her about the time I woke up to find her screaming and thrashing in bed. I managed to roll her over and pin her down. She had a nightmare and freaked out. I learned all her secrets. I found out that her father had led both girls to believe they killed their mother.

  The stories I heard about when she was a child and what he did to her made me want to dig up his burnt corpse and kill him over and over again.

  She pads over to me wearing white ballet flats, which makes her shorter than me. She fits into my body perfectly. In sync, like we’ve been made, built to fit together.

  “Brax, I’m ready,” she breathes against my lips as she reaches up to kiss me. The sweet scent of her breath fans over my face, and my mouth waters to taste her. To devour her. She’s no longer broken, no longer fragmented. She’ll be mine forever.

  “I know you are, baby, and I’ve never been happier.”

  She walks us backward toward the small desk in the room. “Sit, I’m going to pack.” She smiles, a glimmer of happiness flickering in her gaze like a flame. Sitting back, I cross my arms in front of my chest and regard her with a smirk. She flies around the room, gliding from the closet to her bed, from her bed to the bathroom, and back again. Since there’s not much to pack, she’s done in twenty minutes. “That’s it,” she announces happily.

  Her body has healed quickly, but I wonder briefly if her mind will remain fixed. I see her thoughts drift, and when they do, I’m here to bring her back. I’m her anchor as much as she is mine.

  “Thank you, Brax,” she murmurs as she drops her clothes into a suitcase bound for heaven. Where we can finally be together.

  “I want to take you away, Vixen,” I murmur quietly. My heart aches to see her like this. The medication I have to give her will ensure she can live a half normal life. And that’s what I want. Being in this place for so long wasn’t helping her, and I realized I couldn’t do this anymore, so I told them I’d like to take her away. To take her home.

  I love her. I’ve always loved her. She’s been mine since the first day I saw her, and there’s nothing that’s going to keep us apart again.

  “B
-but . . . I-I . . .,” she mumbles, shaking her head and gripping the material of her dressing gown until her knuckles are white. Fuck.

  “Vixen?” At her nickname, her eyes dart to mine. With all the sessions we’ve spent together and with the story I told her about us, I want her happily ever after to come true. I wish with all I am that I could make her dream a reality. She believes I’m a gifted storyteller.

  After witnessing her mother’s brutal murder, her mind couldn’t take it. Then, when her father and his filthy friends started abusing her, there was no telling the further damage that did to her psyche.

  “Braxton?” I nod, and she smiles. The one thing I’ve been waiting for since I walked into this hospital today. “Take me home,” she begs. Her soft pleas are enough to settle my resolve, and I open my arms. She rushes toward me, wrapping her arms around me and holding on as if I’m her lifeline. And I am.

  “We’re going home, baby,” I whisper into her hair. The long, dark locks are curled today, and they smell of her sweet shampoo. I love how she feels in my arms, and I never want to have her stray from them.

  It’s been more than two years since I first laid eyes on her, and my need for this woman hasn’t changed. It’s only gotten stronger.

  My heart is hers.

  My soul is hers.

  As hers are mine.

  We belong together. I’ve never been surer of anything in my whole life.

  Lifting her, I carry her through the doorway and down the corridor.

  The new medication the doctor gave me in case I need it is meant to calm her episodes. Her mind is still lost in that place at times, with those memories, but with time, each pill she takes will wean her from the paracosm she’s created.

  I can only hope as we walk into our new life together, she’ll finally walk away from it and be with me. When we reach the car, I settle her in the passenger seat and make sure the bags are in the trunk.

  Sliding into the driver’s seat, I rest my hand on her thigh before starting the car. I’m finally taking her to the home I purchased two months ago. With the guys helping me move in, I’m excited for her to see it.

  She’s silent as I weave the car through the grounds and out onto the road. It’s not easy for her to be out of this place. The fear of something happening that could jar her mind is something we need to be careful of. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll be by her side no matter what.

  “The sun is so bright today,” Tia says as she smiles.

  She’s right; there aren’t any clouds in the sky. A perfect day. The closer we get to the suburbs, the more serene it becomes. Leaving behind the sterile hospital is like walking away from the past.

  “It’s your day,” I tell her. “We’ll have a picnic in the garden. I can’t wait for you to see the house.” I haven’t showed her photos. I wanted her first glance at our new home to be as exciting as if it were Christmas morning.

  “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t met you,” Tia tells me. Her voice lowering, and I can hear the catch in her breath when she speaks. I’ve learned all her tells.

  “You would’ve been strong on your own,” I respond. “But I would’ve still found you. One way or another.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you were made for me. I was always going to stumble across your path, and when I did, I would’ve stolen you for my own.” I cast a quick glance her way and find her grinning at me.

  “Oh really? You would’ve stolen me?”

  “Yeah.” I nod. “You know that you can never get away from me now. You’re bound to me in more ways than one.”

  She responds with a smile and a blush. Her cheeks have a soft, rosy hue that makes every inch of my body stand to attention. I focus back on the road. I wanted to stop near the water, overlooking the ocean before I asked her the one question that’s been on the tip of my tongue for a year now.

  I wanted to wait until she was ready. We ride in comfortable silence until Tia flicks the radio, and we’re serenaded by some pop song I don’t really recognize. As the road leads closer to our destination, Tia sings along, taking in the scenery as I drive.

  Her voice is melodic, in tune with whoever the artist is. I’m not sure how she even knows the lyrics, but she does.

  We’ve been driving for almost two hours when we finally get glimpses of the ocean ahead. Tia’s excitement is bubbling through her as she bounces on the seat when I finally pull up to the waterfront.

  Corpus Christi.

  I pull into a parking garage and kill the engine.

  “This is where we’re staying?” she questions in confusion, but I shake my head.

  “No, come.” I exit the vehicle and make my way around to the passenger side. Helping Tia from the car, I lead her to the pathway that snakes around the edge of the water.

  In the slowly darkening sky, I notice how the city lights are flickering on. And that’s when I drop down to one knee and pull out the small, black velvet box I’ve been holding onto for far too long.

  “Tia, you came into my life and broke down every wall I built up. You keep telling me you’re broken, but if you are, then so am I. And that’s why I want to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me, so we can be two imperfectly broken pieces creating a new perfectly whole life together.”

  The tears that brim in her eyes melt my heart. I’m not a man who enjoys, or even attempts, romance. I’m a trained killer. But when I see my beautiful Vixen’s tears, I can’t help but want to chase them away.

  “I-I never expected to ever feel happiness,” Tia tells me earnestly. “But you’ve brought me back from the darkness that held me hostage for so long. You scared me when we first met.” A small giggle falls from her lips before she continues, “I realized that you were someone who could possibly see through my cracked façade and love me anyway.”

  “I do. I love you so much, Vixen.”

  Another smile, this time bigger, brighter, and she nods before she finally answers, “Of course, I’ll marry you.”

  “Then it’s settled,” I tell her as I slip on the white gold, diamond ring I bought. “You’ll be mine, forever, Mrs. Carter.”

  Epilogue

  Tia

  One year later

  The room is darker than the one at the hospital. Each movement flickers in my peripheral as if I’m not alone. “Tia.” Jolting at the sound, I turn to find him. Smiling, I lift my hand and reach for him. He’s carrying my tray of medication and a glass. Each day I take these, and with every pill, my mind doesn’t wander. It doesn’t go there.

  “Brax,” I quip playfully, which earns me a smile unlike any other. He’s handsome. So devastatingly beautiful that sometimes it hurts to look at him.

  He hands me the pill and water, which I take graciously, swallowing it down. I place the glass beside me and regard him again.

  “How are you feeling?” he asks in a gentle tone filled with emotion.

  “Tired.” I lean back against the soft pillows and watch as he settles on the bed beside me. “Do you think we’ll ever be normal?” The question comes out of nowhere, and I expect him to tell me no, that I’ll never be able to have a normal life. I’m twenty-nine, and I’ve never been on a real date. I’ve known Braxton a long while now, and in that time, he’s taken me on dates, but they weren’t real. We spent our year in a hospital where I had to be for treatment. So I could heal and come back to him after the horrors I faced.

  My mind is a tricky place.

  The reality I made up while I was locked inside has given him an insight into the workings of my brain. In the time he spent with me in the hospital, he would visit me, talk to me, tell me the story I had shoved into the recesses of my mind. And as he did this for me, we found something real. We both fell more in love than I ever thought possible.

  He’s become my other half. He fills the broken parts of me and makes me feel whole again. And dare I say it—normal. It’s something I never expected.

  At first, falling in love with him felt
as if I was caught in the eye of a storm, or a tornado, just spinning without a safety net. It scared me. I was petrified at how he made me feel. But over time, I realized that if I just let him hold onto me, I would be grounded. And that’s where I am right now.

  For a whole year, twelve fucking months, while I sat in a hospital gown in a white room, Braxton sat beside me and told me a story. Our story. He recalled every moment. Our fairytale may have been unconventional, but I know that I’d never trade it for anything else. It’s perfect as it is.

  This is our story.

  “Baby, listen to me.” He cups my face in his hands and smiles. “We are perfect. You and me. We’re incredible together. We’re indestructible. Nothing will ever get in the way of our love, our lives. You are mine, Vixen,” he vows, and my heart thuds. Excitement skitters, and my body responds. Needy and achy for my fiancé.

  “I love you, Brax. I’ve been through the darkness of my past every day with my doctor. He’s given me ways of working through it, but what’s made me better was you. Us. With you telling me how we got here. That’s what matters. I’ve been outside my mind, and inside, and nothing could ever have prepared me for the happiness you’ve brought to my life. But—”

  My words are interrupted when his thumb traces my lower lip. It’s a slow movement that heats my body. I’m always turned on and ready for him. I want him. I need him. And after what I have to tell him, I think he’ll feel the same.

  “Braxton, you’re going to be a father,” I whisper the words against his thumb, and our gazes meet. I found out not long ago that I’m pregnant. Because of my medication, I had to have regular tests. When I walked into the doctor’s office two days ago, I didn’t realize my life was about to change. He called me with the results and told me I should come in immediately. I arrived flustered and stressed, only for him to tell me I was going to have a baby. All those months in the hospital, and only when I was released did a miracle happen. Even though it wasn’t planned, the smile that meets my worried stare is answer enough.