If I Told You So

by Timothy Woodward

  “Oh, Frank, they’re getting away!”

  “The stringer, Judy!”

  Becky and I watch her mom do a stomping dance on the dock as she tries to get her foot on the end of the stringer before the fish makes it into open water. Her father almost tips the boat over trying to grab the stringer himself. Becky smacks a palm to her forehead, but she’s laughing.

  “Leave it to my parents.”

  There’s a yelp from her dad when her mom misses the stringer with her foot and hits his hand instead.

  “Ow, that’s my hand!”

  “Sorry.”

  From the porch, we watch the bright blue stringer disappear over the side of the dock.

  “Well, there goes dinner,” Becky’s dad says. He’s chuckling to himself, and he puts an arm around his wife’s waist. He guides her down the dock. When they reach the path to the cabin, he stops and gives her a kiss.

  “PDA! PDA!” Becky sticks out her tongue beside me.

  “I think they’re cute.”

  “You would. You don’t have to live with them.”

  Her parents make their way to the cabin, and Becky introduces them to me.

  “So you’re the famous Sean,” Frank says.

  “I don’t know about famous,” I say.

  “The way Becky talks about you, you’re famous to us,” he says.

  “I’m so glad we finally got to meet you,” Judy adds.

  I feel my cheeks turn warm, and I shuffle my feet. But the embarrassment has only just begun.

  “Guess what? Sean finally came out to his mom.” Becky practically shouts it to the entire lake.

  “Becky!”

  “You did?” her mom says. “Honey, that’s great!” She comes forward and gives me a hug. I let her hug me, as I’m paralyzed by Becky’s announcement. “I’m sure you being honest with her has lifted a load off her mind.”

  I glare daggers at Becky over her mom’s shoulder, but Becky’s oblivious.

  “I took him shopping to celebrate. What do you think of his outfit?”

  “Let’s have a look.” Judy releases me from the hug and holds me at arm’s length.

  “I had a shirt just like that,” Frank says, poking me in the chest. “In fact, I think I got married in that shirt. Where’d you find it?”

  “Sew Much More on Main Street,” Becky says.

  “I might have to check it out.”

  “Frank, the shirt is making a comeback, not you,” Judy says.

  “I want to take Sean and his mom out to dinner to celebrate his big news. Would it be okay if I borrowed some money?” Becky gives her dad her best puppy dog eyes.

  “Why don’t we all go out?” Frank says. “Seeing as your mother let dinner swim away. ”Judy swats playfully at Frank. He rolls his eyes.

  Judy adds, “Why don’t we meet you at the Depot at six? We need time to change out of these fishy clothes. You and Sean can go and get his mother.”

  “Sounds great,” Becky says. “We’ll see you then.”

  Chapter 18

  Becky has been keeping my mother’s bike at her cabin, so we ride together back to my house. When we get there, a vehicle I’ve never seen before is parked in the driveway.

  “Whose car?” Becky asks me.

  I shrug and enter the house.

  “Mom?”

  “In here, sweetie,” she calls from the kitchen.

  “Who’s here? There’s a new car parked—” I stop short when I get to the kitchen. Becky runs right into me.

  “Hey there, son.”

  My dad is sitting at the kitchen table beside my mother. There’s a plate of cheese and crackers between them and glasses of iced tea. My jaw drops. My father is getting up and crossing to me. His arms are spread wide, but I don’t move. He hugs me, and I don’t resist. But I don’t hug him back.

  “Your dad surprised me, too, hon,” my mom says.

  “Flew in this morning. I cashed in that ticket you didn’t want to use and bought one for myself. Figured if my son wasn’t coming down to see me, I would come up to see him.” He lets go of me.

  I still say nothing.

  My mom breaks the silence. “That’s a nice jacket.”

  “We found it at the thrift shop downtown,” Becky tells her.

  “You must be Lisa,” my father says over my shoulder to Becky. “The reason Sean didn’t want to leave Bell Cove.” He turns his attention back to me. “She’s quite a catch, son.”

  My mother and Becky both talk at once.

  “I’m not Lisa.”

  “This is Becky. She works with Sean at the Pink Cone.”

  “Oh,” my father half grunts. He gives me a slap on the shoulder. “Well, she’s still quite a catch.”

  “Mr. Jackson,” Becky starts, “you don’t understand. Sean—”

  I whirl around and give Becky my best You’ll shut up now if you know what’s good for you look. Now is not the time for another outing. She takes in my set jaw and narrowed eyes.

  “Sean and I have only been on one date. We’re not a couple.”

  I mouth a “thank you” to Becky.

  I feel my father’s hand on my shoulder. “Give it time,” he says.

  Finally, I find my voice. “Dad, what are you doing here?”

  “I already told you, I—”

  “Don’t you have a job? I mean, what about Georgia?”

  “Turns out I have some vacation time. And your uncle Steve is letting me use his hunting cabin.”

  “Don’t expect me to stay with you out there.” Uncle Steve’s cabin is a one-room box on the north side of the lake. No electricity, no indoor plumbing, and only accessible by boat. You take a shower by jumping into the lake.

  My dad laughs. “You won’t have to. It’s only for this week. After that I’ve got a reservation at the Lakeside Cottages.”

  “That’s where I’m staying,” Becky says. “Mrs. Jackson, Sean and I came to invite you to dinner with my parents.”

  “How nice. Where?”

  “The Depot.”

  My dad chimes in. “Very nice. Will I be imposing if I join you? ”

  I could have guessed he would invite himself.

  “I don’t think so,” Becky says. “We’re meeting them at six.”

  “Great. Jeanne, would it be okay if I used your bathroom to change into something nicer?”

  “Sure, it’s up the—”

  “I remember.”

  “Right.” My mother smiles. My father leaves to go get his suitcase.

  As soon as I hear the door close, I wheel on Becky. “I can’t believe you invited him!”

  “I didn’t invite him,” Becky says. “He invited himself. I can’t believe you made me lie for you.”

  “This was supposed to be a celebration dinner. How am I supposed to celebrate with him there?”

  “You could tell him you’re gay.”

  “Trust me, that wouldn’t give anyone a reason to celebrate.”

  “It’s better than lying.”

  My mom steps between us. She pulls me close to her and gives me a hug. “It’s going to be okay. We can still celebrate. We’ll tell your dad it’s because you got a job.” She lets go of me with one arm and pulls Becky into our hug. “And you,” she says to Becky, “thank you for everything you’ve done for Sean. But this is one obstacle he’s going to have to get over on his own.”

  My father reappears in the kitchen, rolling a suitcase behind him. My mother lets us go, and fusses over my new outfit.

  “You really do look great. Did Becky help you pick this out?”

  I notice she has tears in her eyes. There’s been a lot of crying today.

  “Well,” she says taking a deep breath and pulling herself together, “I’m going to need to change myself, if we’re going to the Depot.” She heads upstairs, followed by my father and his wheelie bag.

  While we wait, Becky and I head out to the deck where we can talk in private.

  “So,” Becky says, “that’s your dad.” It�
��s a statement, not a question.

  “The one and only.”

  “What’s his deal? He lives in Georgia?”

  “He moved down there a year ago with his girlfriend.”

  “You been down to visit him?”

  “No.” I’m leaning on the railing and looking out over the lake. Becky rests her elbows on the railing beside me.

  “You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to.”

  “No, it’s okay. We’re just not that close. He wasn’t around much when my parents were married, and after they got divorced it was even less. You’d think I’d be upset that he lives so far away, but it’s actually easier. I don’t have to worry about spending weekends with him anymore, and screwing up my plans.”

  Becky doesn’t say anything.

  “I mean, I love him. He’s my dad. But I don’t how he’ll take it when he finds out his only son is gay.”

  “You think he’ll be upset?”

  “I know he will.”

  We’re both silent for several minutes.

  “But I need to tell him, don’t I?”

  Becky puts her hand on mine. “You know I can’t tell you the answer to that. You also know what I think.”

  Chapter 19

  The Depot is one of the nicest restaurants in Bell Cove. It occupies an old train station a few blocks away from Main Street. After the interstate went in, the passenger rail quickly died. The train station remained empty for years, but it was built solidly from brick and native timber, so it weathered the years relatively intact. When the new owners took it over with plans for an upscale restaurant, they didn’t have to do much to the existing structure at all.

  They did knock out large parts of the front wall and replace it with floor-to-ceiling windows. The Depot is far enough up the hill that the windows provide a stunning view of the lake. In the summer, reservations for a table by the windows are hard to come by.

  Becky’s parents must have connections, because when we arrive at the Depot, we’re ushered to a table with a view. We’re too early for sunset, but the expanse of dark blue water below us is still breathtaking. We take our seats around the table, and I pick up the menu. My father starts right in on Becky’s parents.

  “So, Frank, Judy, how long have you been coming to Bell Cove?”

  “This is our first year, but I don’t think it will be our last,” Judy says.

  “It’s a beautiful location. I don’t know if Sean mentioned that I live in Georgia. During the hot months, like now, I really miss this place.”

  “I bet,” Frank says.

  As long as the conversation stays on the weather, I might make it through this dinner alive. Do I want the stuffed pork chop or the shrimp scampi?”

  “Becky, why is it that you decided to get a job on your vacation?”

  “To get away from these two”—Becky throws a thumb toward her parents—“and to meet people my age to hang out with.”

  “Looks like you hit the jackpot with Sean.”

  I shoot my father daggers with my eyes.

  “Oh, definitely, Sean’s a real catch.”

  Becky’s parents look up from their menus startled, but Becky says to them, “Sean’s dad doesn’t know about his problem.”

  “What problem, son?”

  “Uh,” I manage. I kick Becky under the table.

  “How he’s one of only two guys that work at the Pink Cone. And how all the girls are all over him.”

  “Really?” My dad seems impressed. I decide to run with the ball.

  “Well, not really, but there are a couple of girls.”

  “Tell me.”

  The waiter approaches the table and asks if we are ready to order.

  My father smiles at him, “Why don’t you give us a few—”

  “I’ll have the stuffed pork chop,” I say.

  “And I’ll have the rosemary chicken,” Becky says. While the table is briefly distracted by the waiter, I whisper to Becky behind the menu.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Your dad thinks you’re straight. I’m making you straight.”

  “I’ll take those for you,” the waiter interrupts us, taking the menus out of our hands and leaving us exposed. We turn sheepishly to the rest of the table.

  “Sean,” my father says, “we’re at dinner.”

  I’m speechless. He actually thinks we were kissing.

  “Oh, Mr. Jackson, you know how it is at the beginning of a relationship.”

  “Becky?” Her mother is looking very confused.

  I change the subject. “Where’d you catch your fish today, Frank? ”

  I know my father can’t resist sharing his expertise on the best fishing holes on the lake. By the end of the meal, my father and Frank are making a date to go fishing tomorrow. My father guarantees that Frank will come home with a lunker.

  Chapter 20

  We are leaving the Depot, and I think I’ve made it through the evening without any major catastrophes, when my father does it again.

  “What do y’all say to some after-dinner ice cream?”

  I freeze as solid as a tub of vanilla in the walk-in. There’s only one ice cream place in Bell Cove.

  “Why would you want to spoil such a great meal?” I ask.

  “I want to see where you work.”

  I look at Becky, who’s reading my mind. Jay is working tonight.

  “Sean and I eat so much ice cream,” she says.

  My mom is slow to catch on. “I thought you said you could eat ice cream every day.”

  “Um, well, yeah, but my manager is working tonight, and—” Oops. That was the wrong thing to say, because now my mother is back in “mother mode.”

  “You mean your manager, Jay? I’d love to meet him.”

  “It’s decided then,” my father says. And it is. We pile into our respective vehicles and head downtown.

  When we pull in to the Pink Cone, I’m relieved to see that it’s crowded, a line forming almost to the sidewalk. Hopefully, that will mean Jay is too busy in the back to even notice we’re here.

  “Grape-Nut?” Frank asks as we get close enough to the board to read the available flavors. “What’s that?”

  “It’s made with Grape-Nuts cereal,” Becky explains. “It’s really popular with older customers.”

  “Oh, I’ll skip that one then.” Frank chuckles. “Maybe you should try it, Judy.”

  Judy hits Frank playfully.

  “Remember when we used to come here, Jeanne?” my father says.

  “I do. That was a long time ago,” my mother says.

  The line moves quickly. I’m looking around to see where Jay is when Becky sends an elbow into my ribs.

  “Ouch, what’s that for?” But I already know. I see why I haven’t been able to see Jay in the back. Jay is working the window.

  “Why is he on the window? He never works the window.”

  Becky shrugs. “Maybe he knew you were coming.”

  We’re steadily moving toward the front of the line and the moment when Jay will meet my parents. I’m trying to figure out some way to warn him, when he spots me in the line. His face lights up in a smile, and I melt, just a little. Stay focused, I tell myself.

  “Hey, boy,” he calls to me. “You want to watch the fireworks with me on my boat?”

  I step around the customers in front of us and stand to one side. “I’m with my parents,” I say in a quick breath. “And yes, I want to watch fireworks with you, but let’s see if we can avoid them tonight?”

  Jay turns his head sharply toward me and almost dumps the waffle cone he’s holding on the woman at the window. He sees I’m not joking.

  He turns back to the customer to hand her the rest of her order and speaks to me without turning his head.

  “Gotcha. Best behavior.”

  The woman leaves, and my parents approach the window.

  “Hello, Mrs. Jackson,” Jay says. “What can I get for you?”

  My mom takes her time an
d looks Jay straight in the eye. “Nice to meet you, Jay. I think I’ll have a small scoop of Rocky Road in a sugar cone, please.”

  “Coming right up.” Jay turns to scoop my mother’s order, but she reaches out and grabs his wrist. He turns back, startled.

  “Jay,” my mother says quietly, “Sean told me about the canoe.”

  “The canoe,” Jay repeats. It’s half question, half statement.

  “Yes. And I made it clear to him that I am concerned about how he is choosing to spend his time.”

  Jay glances at me. I’m as confused as he is; I thought she was cool.

  “Because if his late nights continue, he may have to give up his job.”

  “Mom.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

  “But,” and my mom’s voice becomes hard and heavy, “Sean has told me how important this—job—and the people here, are to him.” My mom takes a breath. She doesn’t want her meaning to be mistaken. “And I want you to know that I support Sean completely. I’m just concerned for his safety. So, Jay, can you promise me that you will make sure Sean doesn’t get hurt? ”

  There’s a moment of silence as my mother’s words hang in the air. Jay blinks a couple times. The message was received loud and clear.

  “Yes, Mrs. Jackson. I promise.” Jay looks at me and raises his eyebrows slightly. I shake my head. I had no idea. “Will there be anything else tonight?”

  “No, I think that will do it for me.”

  Jay leaves the window to get my mother’s order.

  “Jeanne?” my father says. “Is everything all right?”

  “Everything’s great.” She reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. Jay returns to the window.

  “It’s on the house, Mrs. Jackson.”

  Two days later, Bell Cove is absolutely overrun. Tourists and locals alike stake out their spots hours in advance. Every inch of beach, every square foot of grass, every bench, every picnic table has been claimed by a blanket, or a towel, or a picnic basket.

  The Fourth of July is the biggest holiday on the lake. People plan their barbecues for months in advance. For many it doubles as a family reunion, and it’s not unusual to see cars from several states away cruising down Main Street looking for parking that probably doesn’t exist. But the real place to be on the Fourth of July is out on a boat. All day long, the lake is dotted with multicolored sails and the white froth of speedboats cutting back and forth across the dark blue water.