by Jason Vale
I could go on about all the advertising but there really is no need. You know exactly what I’m talking about. After all, you are bombarded with it every minute of the day; it’s everywhere. The message in all these adverts remains the same: ‘our job is to keep you hooked and get your money.’
Whether you realise it or not, all the advertising exists to keep you hooked or makes a desperate bid for you to change your brand. They will change the shape of their bottles, their image, even give the same product different names to rebrand and make them look new. No matter how powerful this direct advertising is, it didn’t get us hooked in the first place so what on earth persuades us to take this drug at all? Was it really the poster ad for alcohol which made you leap up and order your first drink? No. It was one thing and one thing alone, the same thing that causes everybody to try any drug. It’s the people who are already hooked on that drug. In other words, in the case of alcohol, it’s …
Other Drinkers
Every year the alcohol industry spends literally billions worldwide advertising their drug, yet it’s their sales force that pays them because alcohol addicts are the biggest sales force the industry has. Even comedian Jack Dee, who said he attended AA has advertised alcohol on television. Keep it clearly in your mind that most drinkers you meet work for the alcohol industry. They have no idea they do, but they do. Just remember this when you stop drinking and break free from this slavery.
Looking back, I know I certainly did. I played my part in recruiting new customers. I once tried very hard to get a friend of mine hooked. She had never drunk alcohol in her life and had no desire whatsoever to do so. However, due to my massive brainwashing, I couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to drink. Every time we went out I would say, ‘Go on, have a drink. What’s the matter with you? You really don’t know what you are missing.’ I would even say, ‘What a shame you don’t drink.’ You see, when you are hooked on a drug it becomes a mystery how anybody can enjoy life without it. The mystery now is how on earth I believed I was enjoying myself when I was hooked.
The sad reality is that other drinkers really do not mind if you stop drinking, provided you are miserable. In fact they might even view it as a game to see just how long you will stay off the alcohol. If you are moping around, getting uptight, depressed and longing for a drink they are fine but if you are happy about stopping, they hate it. This is because drug addicts do not like to be reminded that they need a drug and that, unintentionally, is exactly what you are doing when you enjoy life and cope easily without drink. So be alert as their constant need to justify their intake can lead them to try to get you hooked again. As I have already said, if you stop smoking you are a hero; if you stop drinking you are seen as a freak.
They will say things like, ‘How are you finding it?’, ‘How’s it going?,’ ‘It’s early days yet’ or the classic question, ‘Are you still not drinking?’ Just so you are more than equipped for this attitude, be aware that you will be asked that question until the day you die. I was getting it thrown at me all the time when I stopped. ‘Still off the sauce Jace?,’ ‘How long has it been now then?,’ ‘How are you finding it?’ Finding what? What the hell was I supposed to be looking for? When somebody passes their driving test do you phone them up a week after they have passed and say, ‘Can you still drive?’ Of course you don’t but we have been conditioned for so long to believe that it is impossible to stop drinking and be happy about it for the rest of your life that everybody is simply waiting to see when you will give in to temptation.
You can only ever be tempted if you buy into the advertising message that alcohol will provide you with some genuine benefit. If you are truly free you cannot give in to temptation because you cannot be tempted by something that has no appeal. You can only ‘give in’ to something if you have ‘given up’ something and that is the best part of stopping drinking. It turns out that, contrary to what we have been made to believe, there is absolutely nothing to give up. The very expression ‘I’ve given up’ implies sacrifice which is why people suffer after they stop. They believe they have made a sacrifice by giving up something worth having, which of course is rubbish. They are in fact curing themselves of a progressive disease and stopping an addiction. It is the other drinkers who are publicising it and making the huge sacrifices. They are the ones giving up their health, money, courage, confidence and freedom. Whether they know it or not, they are drug addicts and, as such, have a progressive disease. That is not something to envy, it is something to pity.
The question, ‘How are you finding not drinking?’ is ridiculous anyway. The real question should be, ‘How is the drinking going? How are you finding the hangovers, the memory loss, the cost, the arguments, the lethargy, the slavery, the having to control your intake, etc.? Believe me they will soon drop the subject. You will probably get the inevitable answers like ‘I don’t get hangovers’ which simply means that they have built up such a tolerance to the drug that hangovers have become the norm. Or it may be simply that they are lying like any other drug addict in order to justify their intake.
Most drinkers try to justify why they choose to drink, especially if they are with somebody who has stopped and, even worse, who clearly doesn’t miss it and has no need for the drug any more. The alcohol never changes, only the excuses. If you ask a young kid why they are drinking they will say ‘I enjoy it.’ They are lying and it’s obvious to both parties that they are not really enjoying it. Every time they take a sip they shudder, they get very intoxicated and feel like shit the next day. Some even vomit when they first drink alcohol and wish they were having a lemonade instead. The problem is that they have been conditioned to believe that it’s not adult to drink lemonade any more, so while in the experimental process of taking alcohol they will say ‘I enjoy it.’ They are trying to justify their intake from the start and it never stops. If you ask the same youngster why they drink a few weeks later they will now say ‘I like the taste.’ What they really mean is that they no longer find the taste offensive. Ask them some time later and they will say ‘It gives me courage, confidence, helps me to relax and makes me feel happy.’ So, in just a few short months, the alcoholic drink has changed from something that made you feel dreadful and tasted awful, into something which not only tastes good but is also a crutch. It’s blatantly obvious that the drink itself hasn’t changed; merely the youngster’s perception of alcohol.
All through our lives our reasons for drinking change from one drink to the next in order to try to justify why we do it but the real reason always remains the same: it’s alcohol addiction. So be alert as the majority of drinkers will do this. They will say stupid things which appear to be good and sound logical but which are, in reality, pathetic. They are so scared of stopping that when you achieve something that they think is out of their reach, they will try anything to drag you back. You might say things like, ‘Have you heard the news? I don’t need to drink any more. I’m free.’ After all, it is worth saying as it’s not every day you free yourself from slavery and stop a disease in its tracks. You will inevitably get more responses like, ‘Well how long has it been? I wouldn’t speak too soon – it’s early days yet.’ What the hell has time got to do with it? Does it really matter how long you have been free, just as long as you are free? That is all ‘recovery’ is; counting the days waiting for something to happen. But waiting for what? The day you can say ‘I’ve done it. I don’t need to drink any more. I’m free’? The truth is that you can say it from day one and if you say it from day one then you are truly free from day one. If you do not say it on day one, then when are you going to say it?
There is no need whatsoever to count days when you stop drinking, it’s pointless. This is a very important part of the method.
DO NOT COUNT DAYS WHEN YOU ARE FREE.
From the second you know you have consumed your last drink you are free. This is without doubt the most bizarre prison in the world. It is the only prison where people count the days after being released.
/> Such is the nature of the alcohol confidence trick that drinkers will actually believe that you are missing out and this is precisely why they will be baffled as to why you have stopped drinking altogether. If you were already seen to be an ‘alcoholic’ in their eyes, they will feel sorry for you because you can’t drink any more. What they will not understand is that they are the ones missing out and, once fully understood, you will be feeling sorry for them. It becomes very easy to see that they are deprived and it is they who have to exercise control over a drug on which they are dependent. If you do not consume alcohol you are being deprived of absolutely nothing.
If you do not consume alcohol you are being deprived of absolutely nothing.
Focus clearly on the reality of the situation. No matter how long you have stopped, it is the poor drinkers who are the ones missing out and ultimately being deprived. They are being deprived of their health, their money, their brain cells, their memory, their senses, their peace of mind, their courage, their confidence and, most of all, their physical and mental freedom. They are the drug addicts and you will be one of the first to truly see them for what they are. I doubt if you would envy a heroin addict so why envy alcohol addicts?
THERE IS NOTHING TO ENVY AND SO MUCH TO PITY.
Always remember what got us all hooked in the first place. It was the drinkers. It was the drinker who convinced us we were missing out. If I had the job of making somebody believe in Santa Claus, I would recruit a child to do it for me. What better person to convince somebody of an illusion than someone who honestly believes that illusion to be true? Don’t forget the drinkers themselves are being deluded as a part of them believes the illusions. Never underestimate the power of other drinkers and the huge amount of brainwashing they pass on. It seems that everyone drinks the stuff, from the down-and-out on the street to the President of the United States.
We have been conditioned from birth to drink alcohol. Even your own parents may have thought there was no harm in your having a little glass of wine with a meal when you were ten. ‘What’s wrong with a little glass of wine?’ is almost the same as saying, ‘What’s wrong with a little heroin?’ They are both drugs, they are both addictive and they both destroy lives. The only difference is that one is seen clearly for what it is and is not being pushed on every TV programme or film as a sociable, stress relieving happy pill whereas the other one is. Remember, the only difference between heroin and alcohol is that one is legal. One is seen for what it actually is and the other is seen from an addict’s perspective.
The main problem with alcohol is that, unlike heroin, the addiction is so subtle that many have lived and died without ever realising they were addicts. Unfortunately, even if they had been aware of their dependency, they would have had to block it from their minds for fear they might have an incurable disease and have to turn into a social recluse. You know, that mystery disease known as alcoholism.
Drinkers continue to try to justify their intake with deceit and lies, not only to others but particularly to themselves, just like any drug addict. However, do not let this cloud the issue as, no matter what drinkers believe and regardless of anything they say, the truth is that they are hooked. This is not me being arrogant, it is fact. They may not even realise they are trapped but they are. As such, it means they are suffering from drug addiction and have a disease which, slowly but surely, will get worse and worse. It means they have to exercise control which means they are controlled. Always keep it clear in your mind that drinkers are never in true control. It is a form of self-imposed torture to try to control a drug. Ultimately the drug always controls its victim, dictating to the addict and not the other way around. This is the main reason why they remain hooked or get hooked again as they believe they can control alcohol.
I stopped for three months and one of my reasons for drinking again was that I felt it could do no harm as I could control it. But that was precisely the problem. Why would you want to try to gain control of something that does nothing for you? Why would you want to try to control a disease instead of getting rid of it? Why would you want to spend the rest of your one and only life using willpower and discipline trying to manage a drug that does absolutely nothing for you whatsoever? You would only want to control it if you thought you were missing out on a genuine pleasure, which of course you are not. That is exactly what got us all hooked in the first place. After all, would you envy someone with HIV even if you knew that it might not develop into full blown AIDS for twenty-five years? You would never envy someone with a disease that will probably lead to an even worse disease. You would only pity them. Above all you must realise that most drinkers are in the alcohol trap whether they realise it or not. They are simply at different stages of this progressive disease, that’s all.
People sometimes say to me, ‘If they don’t know they are hooked and in a trap, then surely it doesn’t matter if they drink as ignorance is bliss.’ Imagine that you were in that quicksand but didn’t understand the nature of quicksand and you even believed that you were having fun playing in it. If I came along and pulled you out without your consent, you would be annoyed and upset that I had spoilt your fun and would immediately want to jump back in. But if I explained the nature of quicksand and pointed out that you were in fact trapped and there was only one direction which was down, with no chance of escape, would you still want to jump back in? Do you think for one second that you would ever go back in there again? Do you think for one moment that you would feel deprived even if, at the time, you thought you were having fun? Would you actually envy other people slowly sinking in the sand, even if they were only up to their waist or would you pity them and try to help them out? Of course you would want to help them but they wouldn’t want your help. They would only ask for your help when they began to realise they were trapped and not until then.
Imagine being in a position where you are sinking in quicksand and you finally realise what is happening. You call for help but instead of help you are told that you are different. You are told that 80 per cent of the population is in quicksand too but they are just fine and normal. They are not sinking at all; it is in fact you with the problem. You just can’t handle quicksand and if you seek help to get out, you will be made a social outcast forever because you have a disease for which there is no cure. What is more, you will be miserable and depressed for the rest of your life just because you can’t do something that everybody else does. If you were aware that you were sinking, you would think twice about seeking help if that’s what you thought would happen, and this is what frustrates me so much. I know this is an odd analogy but it is relevant. Alcohol addicts feel too ashamed to seek help because they have been taught that, if they need help, they are different. Alcohol creates fear as it is and the last thing the drinker needs is the additional fear of being made to feel weak and disease ridden for life.
So this point must be clear: never envy other drinkers as there is nothing to envy. Remember that point, no matter how long you have stopped. The facts about drinking alcohol never change, only their relevance to you. Once you purge the poison from your mind and body completely, you see clearly that there is nothing to miss. People go through a mourning process when they stop drinking, rather like mourning the loss of a close friend. The truth is that drinkers are the ones who are missing out. They need your pity.
This is one of the keys to lifelong success. Drinkers are in a trap that, in reality, they would dearly love to escape. I have realised since I stopped drinking that the majority of drinkers actually envy me. Not for any other reason than I am free. They would love to be in a position where they could enjoy and cope with life without their dependency on alcohol. The only thing stopping them is fear; the fear of quitting. These were the same fears that I had for years. Make a point of observing drinkers. Notice how they just won’t let the subject lie when they realise that you genuinely do not need or want alcohol any more. Notice how, at the end of an evening, they have gained nothing by drinking. Notice how they are alwa
ys telling you that they are in control, how little they need to drink and how they are forever trying to justify why they are having that last one. What you must realise is that, no matter what they say, they would love to be like you and free from an awful slavery.
ALL DRUG ADDICTS LIE, EVEN TO THEMSELVES.
When they see that you are happy about the fact that you don’t need to drink any more, they will think that you are superhuman. The fact is that you feel superhuman yourself. After all, they would expect you to complain, at least a little. It is only whinging ex-drinkers that perpetuate the illusion that it is a lifelong struggle and a disease from which it is impossible to truly free yourself.
So do not envy drinkers but realise the truth and they will envy you. This is not a trick but a factual way of looking at it. Most drinkers you meet will secretly envy you. I say secretly because they won’t admit they do, otherwise it will immediately confirm that they are not in control. So they have to keep up the pretence for as long as possible and say over and over again, ‘I’m in control. I don’t have a problem.’ They say it so much that they start to believe it. Remember, true control is when you no longer have to exercise control.
No drug addict likes taking their drug alone. When I say alone I do not mean by themselves, I mean when they are with others who are not taking the drug. This is when they sense that they are really alone, hence the question, ‘Are you going to join me?’ They will say anything to get you to have a drink, anything to make you join them once again, anything to get you hooked. They will never see it that way as most have no idea they are hooked themselves but they will, whether consciously or unconsciously, be trying to sell you the drug. Not that they are malicious people who want to inflict a disease on you but because they actually believe the illusion and have no idea that it is a disease.