by Jason Vale
Drinkers get people hooked, get that clear. What better person is there to sell you an illusion than the person who believes it is real? This is the saddest thing about this addiction; people honestly think that they are deriving some genuine pleasure from alcohol and that they are in full control. They don’t drink in the morning but they have been taught to believe that it’s perfectly normal to drink at any other time.
IT IS NOT NORMAL TO INFLICT A DISEASE ON YOURSELF.
I have already shown that you can never be in control of a drug and that the natural tendency of any drug user is to take more and more, so how come there seem to be so many people who can …
Take It or Leave It
This is the cleverest part of the trap. This is what really confuses everyone. If it’s the same trap for everyone then why don’t we all sink at the same rate? Why can some people take it or leave it and others can’t? This is without doubt the biggest illusion of all when it comes to alcohol, the mass delusion that people can take it or leave it. This is why there is a divide with this drug: normal vs. alcoholic. The truth is that the natural tendency is to take more and more of the drug, to keep on hitting the button like the mouse in the cage. However, unlike the mouse, we do have a higher consciousness and there is one main reason why some people do not increase their intake and become what society describes as an alcoholic and that is restrictions.
Think about it. The only reason why people do not drink more and more is because they are forced not to drink, either by themselves or society. It is only restrictions which prevent people from becoming what are described as alcoholics any sooner. There are so many restrictions when you think about it, whether it’s money, health, effects on the family, because you are driving, because you have to work, fear you will be judged by others, fear you’ll turn into an alcoholic, your children, social stigma, being physically incapable of coping with the poison or because you actually hate being drunk.
Money plays a major role in restricting people’s intake. After all it is a very expensive drug. Some people simply do not have enough money to increase their intake so they will try to gear it to what’s in their pocket. After all, they are already going to spend £100,000 on the drug as it is. It seems funny that the whole thing comes full circle with people at the entrance to the trap drinking cheap alcohol like cider and people at the end drinking cheap alcoholic drinks like cider. I reached the stage where I was drinking Tennants Super and Carlsberg Special Brew. Did I really think they were superior brands or was I simply trying to get more alcohol for less money? This is why people go from beer to spirits; to get more alcohol for less money as, like all drugs, your body builds up an immunity so you need more and more to get the same effect. To get the extra in, it becomes easier and cheaper overall to drink spirits. The fact is that many people cannot afford to increase their intake so they have no choice but to hold it at some kind of level. Even this goes out of the window the further into the trap you get and you reach the stage where you will do without food, family and friends to get alcohol.
Health is another major restriction. Whether drinkers like it or not, the same drug that they think gives them pleasure also just happens to be the number two killer drug in Western society. Just because it’s not really talked about doesn’t change the reality. I used to have to watch my drinking because of my weight and my unattractive beer gut. Alcohol really does ‘weigh’ you down in every way.
Looking back now and seeing my drinking from an outsider’s perspective, I realise I had to exercise willpower and discipline to some degree every day. This discipline was forced on me most of the time but the confidence trick was so subtle that I thought I was choosing not to drink, not that I simply couldn’t. There were just so many restrictions preventing me from drinking more and more. When I had no job and was living in a squat in south London, I drank as much as my pocket would allow. When I had a job, I drank as much as my work would allow. When I was in a relationship, I drank as much as the relationship would allow and so it went on. Isn’t this true? Do you find that, sometimes, you simply cannot drink even when you want to? Do you find that if you haven’t got to work or are on holiday or not driving that you drink a lot more than when you have to restrict yourself? If you are honest you know that you do. Most drinkers do. If you don’t, the chances are you are already on skid row which would mean that you still have to discipline yourself anyway because of the cost.
If alcohol really did all the things that we believed, wouldn’t we have more courage, confidence and happiness first thing in the morning? Why delay happiness and have it as soon as we wake up? The reality is that, instinctively, we know that it’s all lies. If you drank in the morning you would have no life and would not even experience the illusion of enjoyment. You would feel miserable when you were drinking and miserable when you weren’t.
Many smokers have a cigarette first thing in the morning and still function. It is not seen as abnormal for them to smoke in the morning. Alcohol, however, is mind altering so you have to discipline yourself. Many addicts won’t even go out some nights because they have to work the next morning. Some addicts will go all week without a drink because of restrictions, whether it’s work, their children, having to drive, worry about their health, their money, their business or whatever. They have no choice but to abstain and many simply accept it and crack on with their lives. They are perfectly happy to do so, proving that the physical withdrawal is not the problem. However, as soon as the weekend comes and the restrictions are removed, they take the drug like there is no tomorrow and, having spent all week looking forward to the time when they can indulge, they lose the very weekend they were looking forward to because of that very drug. I know, because I used to do just that.
How many people do you know who say they only drink ‘every now and then’ but go mad either on holiday or at weekends? Holidays are the time when you see drinkers in their true light. Many drinkers who wouldn’t normally touch a drop during the day because of restrictions, often judging others who do, can be seen having a pint on the beach at ten in the morning. That is if they are up that early as, chances are, they won’t arrive on the beach until 1 o’clock because they were so plastered the night before. Of course it’s OK to drink at 1 p.m., it is perfectly normal, but what they fail to realise is that they have only been up for an hour. But what the hell does time matter anyway? If you drink you drink. Do you think that you would look at a heroin addict differently if they said, ‘It’s OK, I don’t have my first “hit” until 1 p.m., I don’t need it first thing’? Of course you wouldn’t.
All drug addicts have to exercise control to some degree because of restrictions. The real slavery is this constant need to control and the biggest gain you will get from being totally free is literally that, your freedom. If you are being controlled in any way, then you are not free. If you are dependent on any substance, then you are not free. If you have to look at your watch to see if you can have a drink, then you are not free. If you have to hold it at a certain level because of restrictions, then you are not free. If you are timing your drinks, then you are not free. All drug addicts lie, including drinkers who say things like ‘I only have one glass a day.’ What they fail to tell you is that it’s a pint of Scotch.
There are only two reasons why people do not become heavy drinkers:
They are not physically strong enough to cope with that amount of poison at one sitting.
They have more restrictions in their lives that prevent the natural increase.
The majority of drinkers can turn into heavy drinkers in an instant. It only takes one really bad moment in life and, wham, they no longer have the strength or the inclination to control their intake and the floodgates open.
Yes but what about …
Binge Drinkers
Ah yes, binge drinkers. They are the ones who cost the nation £2.7 billion and have led to the UK being dubbed ‘Binge Britain.’ However, I am not talking about those who just binge at weekends because of the ma
ny midweek restrictions that prevent them drinking. The fact is most of these drinkers triple their intake at weekends. No, I am talking about the group of people who give the impression that they can take it or leave it; I’m talking about those who do not touch a drop for months, then go on a binge. This group usually falls into two distinct categories:
Those who really do not think that alcohol has any benefit and do not miss it when they are not drinking.
Those who really do miss alcohol when they are not drinking and are, in a sense, simply ‘on the wagon.’
In both cases when they drink, they really are drinking. All the restrictions in the world would not stop them. From morning till night they have to drink and there are no half measures. They just continue to hit the button and sod the consequences.
The first category of people who, when they are not drinking, genuinely do not miss alcohol at all can actually see it for what it is when they are off the booze and wouldn’t drink the stuff. The problem is, they do believe one of the illusions and that is that it helps to alleviate stress. They binge drink as a way to escape reality when reality has simply become too much and they cannot take it any longer. So it’s either join the Foreign Legion or go on a binge. If heroin were legal they would probably use that to blot out life. In a sense it has nothing to do with alcohol addiction; it could be anything that does the job but they choose alcohol because it does not require a prescription, is legal and readily available from almost anywhere. These people are not actually addicted to alcohol and they do not think that there is any pleasure to be gained from drink; they simply think it will act as a catalyst to escapism. The problem is that, because alcohol is a depressant, it actually drags them down even further, giving them more reason to want to escape. They wake up feeling worse than the day before, so they drink even more. The initial reason for wanting to blot out their problems (or get ‘blotto’) is getting worse by the day because they haven’t dealt with the issue, which causes an even greater need for the anaesthetic.
Many binge drinkers have destroyed everything they have worked for in a matter of weeks. One day they realise that drinking is destroying their lives even more than the reason they resorted to it in the first place. Reality dawns and they know that it simply has to stop, so they decide to get on with their lives and quit drinking. These people are playing a dangerous game and if they believe it has one benefit, it won’t take long before they believe all the illusions. The time they spend not drinking will decrease and the time they spend bingeing will increase. This type of drinker is rare but does exist, which is why I have covered it here.
The second type of binge drinker is the most common. This is the ‘three months on, three months off’ drinker. When they are not drinking they are missing it and feel miserable and deprived. However they do not admit to anyone that they feel deprived, and openly judge everybody else who drinks, becoming real ‘holier than thou’ ex-drinkers, and there is nothing worse. They are resisting the urge to drink all the time, using discipline whenever they are not drinking. Their thoughts are entirely taken up with the effort. Eventually something happens in their life and, as their resistance runs low, they do not have the mental strength to resist any longer.
They have now reached the ‘dam’ position. This happens when there is so much pressure on the dam from the build-up of water that it starts to crumble causing a deluge. Although the dam appeared strong, it collapses within seconds. It is the same for the poor binge drinker because, in order not to drink, they need to use incredible self-control on a massive scale. Every day the pressure builds up and it simply takes one moment of stress or a big social gathering and, wham, the resolve collapses. Subconsciously they make up for lost time. Their need for the drug is caused by the drug, so the more they have initially, the more they will need the next day. When they are drinking they hate it and when they are not drinking they hate it. During the time spent not drinking they are simply on the wagon and if you are on the wagon it means that you are not drinking for a period of time, therefore it is inevitable you will come off it again.
The problem is that the poor drinker honestly believes that they have fallen off the wagon and to them, the only way to solve this problem is to go back on the wagon. It is not a great deal of fun either, so eventually, it becomes easier to keep drinking even though that’s painful too.
Whether binge drinkers are off the drink or on the wagon, they also become ‘holier than thou’ ex-drinkers. These are the sort of people who do something for years, stop, then spend all their time judging people who do what they once did. The judgemental types also fall into two categories:
The drinker who has stopped but is using willpower, discipline and permanent self-control not to drink. These people are the ‘recovery mob’ who are still missing it and believe they have made a genuine sacrifice. However they do not wish to say this because they would appear weak-willed, so they opt for the ‘holier than thou’ approach.
The person who has never drunk alcohol. When I say never, I mean those who had their first drink and hated it so much that they were just not willing to go through the process of becoming accustomed to it. After all, it’s not easy to get over the foul taste and awful effects that the first drink produces. Virtually everybody has tried alcohol at least once in their lives. These are non-drinkers. They have never been hooked because they have never suffered any of the illusions that the drug creates. These people plainly and simply cannot see why anybody drinks and, because of this, can appear on the surface to be somewhat self-righteous. However, their attitude is more than understandable and is exactly the same as your attitude to people who take heroin. If they knew how desperately heroin addicts wanted to stop, they wouldn’t be so quick to judge them either.
What is so wonderful about this method of stopping drinking is that you will not turn into a ‘holier than thou’ ex-drinker. Once you fully understand the alcohol trap (as you will by the time you finish this book), you will feel genuinely sorry for those who still have to drink and are gradually sinking further and further into the quagmire. You certainly will not be judgemental as you will never forget that you were once there yourself.
I have said that it is only fear that keeps people hooked and so powerful are these fears that the very thought of stopping altogether is just too much. Drinkers think that it will be easier to just …
Cut Down
No, no, no, no, no! Have I repeated that enough? Cutting down is what alcohol addicts do every day of their lives. As I have just explained, drinkers have permanently to use willpower, discipline and control in order not to increase their intake.
Let me ask you a question: does dieting make food less precious or a thousand times more so? When I was drinking it was like being on an alcohol diet most of the time. When you are on a food diet you have to exercise control and when you are dependent on alcohol you have to do the same. So I was either on an alcohol diet or forgetting the diet and bingeing because I just couldn’t be bothered to take control any more.
You have been trying to cut down all your life and that is what this nonsense of going on the wagon is all about. When you made a conscious decision to cut down in the past, did you enjoy the process? Did you have fun being on the wagon or were all your thoughts focused on your next drink? What a way to wish a life away.
This brings me back to Drinkline and their amazing and effective strategies to help reduce your drinking which go something like this.
Change your routine. Perhaps start drinking later each time, or go out later than usual.
I am writing this in disbelief. I have read the first strategy on offer to help people reduce their drinking a few times now but just cannot credit the statement. Start drinking later? Go out later? Is this meant to be real or constructive advice? When I was drinking and arrived at the pub late, my goal was to order as many drinks as I could before the publican called ‘time.’ Several times I remember waiting to go to the pub but having to wait for others to get ready. I would be
very frustrated and pace up and down looking at my watch every five minutes. It was simply because I knew we were missing valuable drinking time. If you have ever arrived in a pub late, do you drink less or do you simply line up more drinks for fear that the ‘time’ bell could strike at any moment?
Give yourself time between drinks and set a goal of one drink per hour.
Do we really need this advice in writing? This is what cutting down is all about and what drinkers do most of the time anyway. As for this business of setting yourself a goal of one drink per hour, have they no idea how alcohol works? Have they ever drunk alcohol themselves? After your second drink, once you have acquired the taste, your conscious mind has been altered and you are in no position to stick to your one drink per hour regime. You simply say ‘sod this for a game of soldiers.’ The chances are there will be many times when you go out and have just one an hour but who times this? The very second you say that you can only have one drink an hour then you start timing and the drink becomes forbidden fruit once again. This makes it not less precious but more so. The more you tell yourself you can’t have, the more you will want. In this situation you will be miserable trying to maintain control and feeling guilty and weak when you fail to achieve.