A Voice to Love (Fallen Tuesday Book One) (A Brothers of Rock Novel)

by Karolyn James

  **

  Amy managed the kitchen by herself, loving every second of it. She got to work early, like she had done the past week. It was the only thing that kept her mind off Luke. Her phone rested on a metal counter, done on purpose so the vibration would echo louder than the ringtone. It had been such a whirlwind of emotions since leaving that hotel room. Julie pestered Amy for every detail of the night and did not for a second believe that Amy and Luke didn’t sleep together.

  Thinking about it made Amy smile, even all these days later.

  Not a day had gone by that she hadn’t heard from Luke. They would text and then call each other at night. There were a few nights that Amy woke to Luke’s call at three in the morning. She always acted like she had been awake waiting.

  Today Amy was baking a whole new array of goods. Everything from fresh banana bread to something she called triple threat chocolate cupcakes. The notion of baking kept nagging Amy, so she decided to go into work early and make something new everyday. So far the restaurant had sold out of everything Amy baked. She was secretly keeping financial tabs on the cost of her baking and what they were making. She planned on showing it all to Uncle Tom soon in order to offer a crazy idea.

  A small bakery next door.

  There was a small strip of businesses right next door and the one store had seen two pizza places come and go within the past year. Amy wanted to put a bakery there for herself. To do that, she needed money. She needed support. She needed to think about other debts to pay also. It was just a dream at that point, which was better than nothing. Even if her bakery skills were kept in Tommy Two’s for desserts, it would be another reason to come to the restaurant. Nothing wrong with that.

  Uncle Tom came from the office, whistling, holding a stack of papers.

  “Something smells good,” he said.

  “Banana bread and chocolate cupcakes,” Amy said.

  “You and this baking,” Uncle Tom said. “Why don’t you take some time away from this place? Like a normal human. Go visit your guy friend.”

  That’s what Uncle Tom had been referring to Luke as… her guy friend.

  “My guy friend isn’t in town anymore, you know that,” Amy said.

  “He run off?”

  “He plays music. He’s on tour.”

  Uncle Tom put his hands up and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay then. What do I know?”

  “You know this restaurant,” Amy said. “Stick to it.”

  Uncle Tom laughed. The buzzer on an oven went off and Amy opened the door to the warm aroma of her cupcakes. They were going to sell like crazy tonight, Amy knew it. With a name that included ‘triple threat’ who wouldn’t want one?

  “Those smell and look delicious,” Uncle Tom said. He was looking over Amy’s shoulder. “My niece, the baker.”

  Amy looked back at her uncle. He was such a good man. A kind man. A man who understood. For a split second Amy imagined herself saying something about the open building next door. However, the urge came and went for fear of hurting her uncle. She didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. The restaurant was dear to Amy’s heart too. If she did pursue an outside business it would most certainly put Uncle Tom in a position to never leave the restaurant.

  “I’m going to get some shopping done,” Uncle Tom said. “Need to get some fresh fish for tonight, right?”

  “I’ll go,” Amy said. “You shouldn’t have to run around.”

  “You’ve got plenty to do here,” Uncle Tom said. “Just wondering, are you going to have some employees come in and help?”

  “Eventually.”

  “Stubborn.”

  “Just like you.”

  Uncle Tom laughed and left the kitchen.

  Amy returned to work and an hour later she took a much needed break. It was actually a decent enough day outside. Still chilly but with the sun standing in a cloudless sky, it had a warm touch to it. There were two waitresses in the restaurant for the lunchtime rush and Amy had Jeff and Chris in the kitchen now. They were handling the lunch cooking and the prep work for dinner.

  Amy caught herself walking down the sidewalk. When she stopped in front of the empty store, she touched the glass window and imagined it. A small bakery. She could do custom cakes, cupcakes, breads even. She could supply the restaurant and also custom orders for customers. It seemed so simple, but running one restaurant was hard enough.

  After a few minutes of dreaming, Amy returned to the restaurant. Maybe someday she could have all those little things she really wanted.

  Back in the restaurant Amy stayed focused on that night’s dinner. Her cell phone vibrated and Amy smiled. She hadn’t heard from Luke all day. She grabbed the phone and then dropped it. It smashed against the metal counter and called the attention of everyone in the kitchen. Amy took the phone and rushed into the office. She didn’t want everyone to see her upset.

  She read the text message waiting.

  Looking for a new place?

  It was from Denny.

  Amy told herself she wouldn’t engage with him. She would ignore him. But he wasn’t going to disappear though. Amy owed him a lot of money.

  What do you want Denny?

  Amy sent the message. There was now an open conversation.

  The phone beeped with a reply.

  You know what I want. What’s owed. I’d also like to know why you were looking at an empty building… the last thing you need is more debt, Amy. Pay up. Soon.

  Amy let out a cry and threw her phone to the desk. She covered her face and shook her head. Everything was getting ruined. She had thought by now Uncle Tom would have given her the restaurant. She would have then been able to handle the situation with Denny on her own. Her paycheck would never cut it. Uncle Tom would be heartbroken. Not to mention Denny was crazy and dangerous and obviously still spying on Amy.

  (10)

  Luke stood before his band as they sat, their eyes upon him. The time had come to confess everything. The autograph session had gone great. The Q&A was even better. Luke caught himself clearing his throat more than he ever had in his life during the Q&A. He was tense about answering questions. He was tense about the way the band looked at him. Not to mention the guilt he felt from hiding his secret for so long.

  “I assume Frank doesn’t know a thing,” Mack said.

  “No,” Luke said. “Nothing. I visited a doctor on my own time. Got an idea of what was going on and what to do.”

  “Well,” Gray said, “what’s going on and what are we going to do?”

  “That’s the hard part,” Luke said. “I’ve got something with my throat. My vocal chords. It might be serious, it might not.”

  “Might?” Mack asked.

  “You heard what I said. When I saw the doctor he called me and told me I should rest. He wants me to rest my throat. No singing, screaming, anything like that for a little while.”

  “How long?” Jake asked.

  “I don’t know now,” Luke said. “I’ve been playing and touring. The blood thing… that’s new. That just started, I swear.”

  “And you didn’t tell us,” Mack said. “Dammit.”

  “It’s not like that,” Luke said. “I didn’t want to cancel the tour. I didn’t want to mess everything up, okay? I wanted to get through the rest of the tour and then talk. Then rest. Then go into the studio and start with the music and add vocals last.”

  “Are you going to be able to add vocals?” Gray asked.

  “I hope so,” Luke said.

  “I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” Trent said. “I’m shocked, man. Why wouldn’t you say something?”

  “I didn't want to hurt us,” Luke said. “I didn’t want to pull dates, the album. There’s so much buzz right now. I just need to rest everything.”

  “No more shows,” Mack said. “We call Frank and tell him.”

  “There’s only a couple left,” Luke said. “It’ll kill us.”

  “Maybe it’ll kill your voice,” Gray said. “What the hell,
man?”

  “I’m sorry,” Luke said. “I’m… just sorry…”

  The conversation ended there as Luke retreated to the back of the bus. He couldn’t believe everything had happened like that. He knew it was going to come down to a confrontation, but he thought he had time. The band remained out front, debating on what to do. Luke could finish the final shows. Then he could rest.

  Luke dialed for Frank as he sat on the edge of his bed.

  “Luke, talk to me,” Frank said.

  “I’m on the bus and there’s a situation.”

  “What kind of situation?”

  “There’s something wrong with vocal chords and I started to cough up blood,” Luke said.

  “What?”

  “It’s been going on for months. Not the blood, that just started. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want to ruin the tour and the band. The band knows. Now you know. I want to finish the tour. I can do it. Doctor told me I need rest. I’ll go visit him when the tour is over and see what he says then. If I need surgery or if won’t heal, then I’m done. It’s over, Frank. My career. My life.”

  “Calm down,” Frank said. “Don’t think like that. Let me figure out what to do.”

  Luke hung up the phone and started typing a text message.

  Hey. Thinking of you. It’s been a long day. Rough day. I wish I could see you. I hope soon, Amy. I really do.

  Luke sent the message and sat deep in thought.

  Mack appeared a few seconds later, arms folded. He looked pissed.

  “You know,” he said, “if you weren’t physically hurt, I’d punch you in the head for this.”

  “You still can,” Luke said. “It’s my throat that’s messed up.”

  “What were you thinking?”

  “About you, me, the band. Our future.”

  “Luke, we’ve known each other a long time, man. There’s nothing I want more than this right here. But not at the expense of you. You know everything I’ve had to go through. I don’t want this. Not if you’re hurt. And if it’s only rest you need…”

  “I don’t know now,” Luke said. “It’s obviously worse than before.”

  “Shit.”

  “I called Frank. I told him. He said he’ll figure something out for us.” Luke looked at Mack. “It’s going to hurt us if we cancel these last couple shows.”

  “I’m not worried,” Mack said. “We played that last show today then. That one song. There’s always a way to figure it out. They’ll tell the truth. Your throat is messed up. It’s not like you’re on drugs or something, right?”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Luke said.

  “Of course I am,” Mack said. “I wish you said something sooner.”

  “I’m sorry for that.”

  Luke’s phone vibrated. It was a message from Amy.

  “Does she know?” Mack asked, nodding to the phone.

  “No,” Luke said. “Nobody… until now.”

  Mack nodded and walked away. Luke felt like death. He read Amy’s message.

  Wish you were here with me. I could use it.

  The text message implied more than Luke could handle yet. He hated the idea of being so far from Amy if she needed him. In that moment, whether it was reality or made up in his mind, Luke felt like he had let the down the entire world… from the fans to his band to Amy.

  It was a lonely feeling.

  He got up and walked back to the front of the bus. The rest of the band all sat quietly. Mack had his hand on a bottle, Gray the same. Trent and Jake stared out the windows. The bust kept moving, mile by mile, getting closer to the next show.

  "Frank's going to pull the tour," Mack said. "He has to."

  "It's Frank though," Gray said.

  Mack drank from the bottle. "Put it this way... I'm not playing another goddamn show until Luke's voice is healed."

  "Mack, wait," Luke said.

  Mack took a step, drank some more, then walked to the back of the bus.

  "Shit," Luke said. "This was why I didn't want to say anything. Dammit."

  "You can't hurt yourself, man," Gray said.

  Luke took a seat and put his head back. Of course, to make matters worse, Luke's throat hurt. It was more tender than ever.

  The bus was eerily quiet and Luke's eyes started to shut.

  When he opened them again he found the bus stopped. And empty. Luke looked at his phone. It was almost five in the afternoon. There were two messages from Amy. Both sweet, sexy, and filled with heartache. Luke just wanted to get to Amy. Was that such a wrong thing?

  Luke shifted to the edge of the seat as the bus door opened. He saw Frank's cellphone before his face. Frank turned and slid his cellphone into his pocket. He paused and looked at Luke as though Luke had some kind of deformity.

  "Luke," Frank said, "how are you feeling?"

  "Like shit, okay? I dozed off and woke and the bus is empty."

  "The guys are in the hotel," Frank said. "They didn't want to wake you."

  "They're pissed at me."

  Frank nodded. "Rightfully so, don't you think?"

  "Are you here to lecture me or talk to me?"

  Frank adjusted his coat and then sat down. "You know, I probably come across as a greedy prick, don't I? A guy who wants nothing but money and more of it. In reality, Luke, I look at you, I look at Fallen Tuesday, and I all I can see is a career. A long career of music, tours, fans, and a great life for everyone involved."

  "And I'm ruining that right now?"

  "No," Frank said. "I'm worried about you right now."

  "What did you tell the record company?"

  "Who said I talked to them?" Frank asked.

  "Did you talk to them?"

  "Yes."

  Luke hung his head. "What happened?"

  "The tour is over for now," Frank said.

  "I don't want that. That's not fair to the fans who paid..."

  "It's taken care of, Luke. Without you, Fallen Tuesday isn't the same band."

  "It's still a band though," Luke said.

  "The record company would rather take a hit on these next couple shows than lose you," Frank said. "We owe at least one more album."

  "So this is about business."

  "Of course it's about business," Frank said. "Christ, Luke. Health and business. If you're healthy, the band is healthy. You write, you tour, everyone wins. Now when are you seeing a doctor?"

  "So that's it?" Luke asked. "We just let the fans suffer. We walk away."

  "It's your health on the line here," Frank said. "You could have said something earlier. Months ago."

  "So this is my fault?" Luke asked.

  "I'm not saying a thing about that," Frank said. "No finger pointing. Just let's figure out the future."

  Frank stepped to the front of the bus. Luke watched him and felt like he could cry. It was all over. Everything they had worked for. And the worst part was that Luke still needed to see Dr. Hornsbury before really knowing his future and fate with Fallen Tuesday.

  "This hurts me," Luke said. "I can sing through pain. What I can't do is let the fans down."

  "Before you say anything else, Luke, check the band's site," Frank said. "Let me know your plans when you figure them out."

  Frank left the bus. Luke used his phone to look at the Fallen Tuesday website. There was an official press release on the main page, detailing Luke's throat issues. It was spun in a way that really bothered Luke. It sucked to read the words saying Fallen Tuesday wouldn't be able to play their last few shows of the current tour.

  The last line had a link for fans to share their well wishes for Luke. Luke clicked it and couldn't believe his eyes. The website had just been updated and there were already thousands of fans writing to Luke. Fans who were supposed to see the shows but wrote that they preferred Luke's health. They would rather have a healthy Luke with a new album than to never hear his voice again.

  Luke read a handful before stopping.

  He needed to talk to the band
and then get the hell away from everything and everyone. Luke made it into the hotel without being seen. The woman behind the desk was in awe when Luke asked for his room. He rode the elevator and used a key card to open the hotel room. He found the band sitting around like they had been on the tour bus. The mood was somber.

  "Talk to Frank?" Mack asked.

  "I did," Luke said. "I tried to fight him on it..."

  "And hurt yourself more?" Gray asked. "What are you trying to prove here?"

  "Prove? I have nothing to prove. I'm just trying to do what's best for us. The fans."

  "Kill yourself," Mack said. "Real damn smart."

  Mack drank from a whiskey bottle.

  "Keep drinking that shit," Luke said. "That'll help."

  "You know what, Luke?" Mack shouted. "You work on your health problems and don't worry about me. You've done enough already."

  Mack stormed away. He threw the bottle of whiskey at the wall and it shattered. The amber liquid cascaded down to the floor. Luke made fists and considered what to do next.

  "He's right," Gray said. "I mean, what happens if this is permanent?"

  "Then you find a new lead singer," Luke said.

  "We don't want that," Trent said. "Don't you get that?"

  "I guess I don't," Luke said. "Enjoy your early vacation. Whatever money you're personally losing on this I'll take care of through the Chasing Cross money I made. Okay?"

  "Money," Mack scoffed. His back was to Luke and he shook his head. "You're starting to sound like Frank, Luke. Starting to act like him, too. I thought we were like brothers here. Brothers who can share anything."

  "We are," Luke said. "I loved you guys enough to try to fight through this."

  "That's bullshit," Mack said.

  "Will you turn around?" Luke asked.

  "No. I've seen enough. Heard enough too."

  Mack sidestepped and went into the bathroom.

  "I'm leaving," Luke said. "I have a doctor's appointment to take care of."

  Gray stood. "Luke... we're just..."

  "I get it," Luke said. He put a hand up. "I lied to you. I kept an important secret from the band. I messed up. Just know I really thought I could get through this tour and then talk about it. So it didn't come to this."

  "I guess that plan didn't work then," Jake said.

  "I guess not," Luke said.

  Luke stepped back, once, then twice. The band slowly turned their attention elsewhere. Luke left the hotel room alone. He fell against the wall and closed his eyes.

  He dialed for a car. He needed to get to Amy as fast as possible before finally facing the realest of realities with Dr. Hornsbury.