A Voice to Love (Fallen Tuesday Book One) (A Brothers of Rock Novel)

by Karolyn James

  **

  Luke found himself in a familiar position. He was in Amy's bedroom, her body against his, the passion between them burning. The only difference now was the sense of urgency and need that hadn't been present before. Luke wanted to strip Amy and have her in a way that made her feel protected and okay. The domination running through his mind was all for the desire he couldn't control. His hands were on Amy's hips, but they wouldn't last long there at all.

  Amy kissed Luke with a fiery need. Her mouth tasted sweet, her anxious tongue flirted with Luke's tongue. Her hands started on his shoulders, perhaps keeping things at bay, but that quickly changed. Amy's hands moved down Luke's body and when she lifted his shirt, Luke prepared to lift his arms, only Amy wasn't interested in Luke's shirt coming off. Her hands stopped elsewhere, at Luke's pants. Her hands fingers diligently opened his belt and his pants. She was so eager that Luke was almost painfully hard.

  With their kiss broken, Luke watched Amy work. She seemed nervous. It made him smile. She pushed his pants and boxers down, then with a the soft touch, she squeezed and pulled. Luke groaned, finally getting chance to take his turn. The first thing he did was grab his own shirt and lift it over his head. He touched her face with both hands, keeping her stare to him, then kissed her. He made sure it was a memorable kiss.

  Her hand wrapped around him felt perfect and each time he teased her, she would squeeze tighter. Luke sped his actions up then, taking Amy’s shirt up and off her body. She had to let him go and Luke refused to let her touch him again. Once he had Amy topless, he carried her right to the bed. He was on top of her, his right hand eagerly moving to touch Amy’s supple breasts to feel the warmth of her chest in the palm of his hand. She moaned and arched her back when he touched her. By the time he unbuttoned Amy’s pants, her hands were there, pushing them down herself.

  Luke stopped Amy. “It’s okay, baby, let me take care of everything.”

  Amy was about ready to protest, but instead she put her hands to the bed and gripped the sheets. She lifted her lower half and Luke delicately took the rest of her clothing off. As Amy appeared before his eyes, his body ached even more. He needed to have her or else he wasn’t going to last much longer.

  As Luke came forward he gently slid his hand up Amy’s leg and then into her inner thigh. His fingertips touched her center and she jumped.

  “I’m right here,” Luke whispered. He lowered his lips to her neck and kissed her. His fingers pressed. He felt her tightness. “Tell me when…”

  Amy caressed the back of Luke’s shoulders. She nuzzled at his ear and then whispered, “Right now. Please, Luke, I need you.”

  Luke groaned. He took his hand away from Amy and replaced it with something else. Luke kept his arms locked and looked down at Amy’s beautiful body. He marveled her subtle curves, every part of her body drove him wild.

  “Okay, baby,” Luke said. “I’m right here. I just need to get something.”

  Luke hated to move away from Amy but he needed to. He reached for his jeans and retrieved protection. The lingering moment between them was enough to actually have Luke couldn’t believe that he was slightly shaking. He was nervous. He wanted to have Amy, and it wasn’t for one night. Amy had unlocked feelings and emotions within him.

  Luke was over Amy again, ready. He came forward and with a single hard thrust, he entered Amy.

  It quickly became clear that it wasn’t just a physical connection happening. Amy moved with Luke, arching her back when needed, thrusting up at the right time, staring at Luke, her lips trembling, her nails softly scratching at Luke, it was hard for Luke to keep himself composed. He moved with the rhythm of Amy’s body, wanting to show her how beautiful she was. His hands moved everywhere on her body. He touched her hips, cupped her ass, held her breasts, tasted her body, and finally, he had a hand behind her head. He lifted and began to kiss Amy. Nothing would ever taste or feel better than the moment when they began to climax together.

  Even after they were both finished, Luke didn’t stop. He kept his body tight to Amy’s, resting easily inside her. He held her hand and they kissed for what could have been hours. Together, they slowly turned to their sides and still holding hands, their legs locked, their mouths touching. Even when they weren’t kissing, their lips were still touching. Luke placed his right hand to the middle of Amy’s back and pulled her to his chest. He wanted to feel her breasts against him, but more so, he wanted to feel her heartbeat.

  He did.

  Her heart was racing.

  The tips of their noses touched and when Luke wrinkled his nose for a second, Amy smiled. She touched his face.

  “I’m so happy you’re here,” Amy said.

  “Me too,” Luke said. “I don’t have to leave either.”

  “Yes you do,” Amy said. “You’re a rockstar. You have fans. You have a life.”

  “I’m resting my throat,” Luke said. “Doctor’s orders. And right now… I think I’m staring at a big piece of my life right now.”

  Amy closed her eyes and tucked her head down. She was trying to hide. It hurt Luke to see her like that. She reminded him of an abused woman.

  “Did he ever hurt you?” Luke asked.

  Amy looked at him. “Are we really going to talk about this while we’re naked?”

  “Do you feel like getting dressed?”

  “No.”

  “Then, yes, we’re going to talk about this while we’re naked.”

  Amy closed her eyes. “Luke, what if I told you he was right.”

  “Calling you a name like that?”

  “Maybe not that,” Amy said. “But maybe everything else.”

  Luke placed his hand to Amy’s cheek. He used his thumb to tease at Amy’s eye until she opened both eyes.

  “Baby, I’m right here,” Luke said. “I’m not going anywhere. That man I saw tonight is a dangerous man. We both know that. And he’s making threats to you and your uncle. I want to help you.”

  “Punching him only makes him happy,” Amy said. “He prides himself off being some kind of bad biker guy.”

  “That’s okay,” Luke said. “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

  Amy touched Luke’s lip. She rubbed against the small cut there. “You shouldn’t… but it was kind of sexy to see someone knock Denny down.”

  “Tell me why,” Luke said. “What did he do to you?”

  “I’m afraid,” Amy said.

  “I told you, I’m right here.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of, Luke.”

  “Of me?”

  “I’m afraid of you being here,” Amy said, “and getting hurt.”

  “Amy…”

  “I’m afraid if I tell you everything, you’re going to leave. I would leave.”

  “What did you do then?” Luke asked. “Did you kill someone, Amy?”

  “No,” Amy said. “No. I didn’t kill someone.”

  “It’s okay, baby. I’ll help you.”

  Luke saw the fear spread across Amy’s face. The fear was deep in her eyes. He purposely held her tighter, wanting her to know he really was there. He wasn’t going to go anywhere.

  “Tell me,” Luke whispered.

  “Okay.” Amy licked her lips. “I was supposed to take over the restaurant from Uncle Tom. That was the plan. He was going to retire and it would become mine. The thing is, the restaurant is all he knows. He started the place. He lost his wife early and never remarried. He never had kids either, which meant I was the closest person to a child he ever had. Being able to go to college and work there and slowly take over the kitchen, it’s a dream come true. I thought I would have the restaurant by now but Uncle Tom can’t let it go. I don’t blame him for it, I don’t hate him for it. At all. I spent all my savings, all my money trying to pay back my debts and get ready to take the restaurant over. Then something happened… Uncle Tom got sick for a few months and the restaurant took a hit. We basically had a terrible year, which a lot of businesses did when the economy toppled.
”

  “I could understand that,” Luke said.

  “Yeah, that’s where things get bad. Uncle Tom had spent some money updating the restaurant. Most of the things were my suggestion. Again, I thought we were getting everything in order for me to take over. I thought he was using cash, but as it turned out, Uncle Tom was using credit cards to pay for a lot of things. With the economy down and business sliding, the restaurant survived on credit for a good while. When he got better and came back, he was devastated to find that we were in financial trouble. No banks would help us, not that there was much they could have done. We needed money, and fast. So I did something…”

  “It involves Denny?” Luke asked.

  A shameful Amy nodded. “I asked him for money. He gave it to me. I was going to pay him back once I took the restaurant over and had control of the books and finances. Once the restaurant started to turn around again, Uncle Tom came to me and explained he wasn’t going to be able to step away just yet. By then Denny and I were broken up and he wanted his money back. Part of me felt I earned it because of how he treated me. But I know better, Luke. I’m not a thief. I’m not a criminal. Yet I feel like one. Denny has every right to come after me. To come after the restaurant.”

  “Nobody has a right to call a woman what he called you,” Luke said. Luke gently ran his hand down Amy’s face. “What does your uncle think of this?”

  That’s when Amy blinked and a tear fell. “He doesn’t know.”

  “He doesn’t know? How?”

  “He thinks I put the money into the business. He thinks I had a savings account and used it all to save the restaurant. He feels guilty and I feel like the worst person in the world.”

  “Wow,” Luke whispered. “That’s…”

  “I’m a terrible person,” Amy said. “You can say it.”

  “You’re not a terrible person,” Luke said. “You were in a terrible position. I’m sorry you had to make those decisions, Amy, but this isn’t the end of the world. And whether you owe money to Denny or not, he has no right to threaten you or call you names.”

  Amy swallowed. “I know. But I feel like maybe if he does it enough, it’ll go away. He disappears from time to time, leaving me alone for a month or two. But he always comes back.”

  “I need to ask,” Luke said. “How much do you owe him?”

  Amy shook her head.

  “Amy, I’m not leaving,” Luke said. “I know what secrets can do. I just lived through it. I had to watch the rest of Falling Tuesday stand there and look at me like I quit the band. All because of a secret I kept. Don’t do the same…”

  “It’s a lot of money,” Amy said.

  “Try me.”

  “Eighty… thousand…”

  Luke nodded. “Okay. That is a lot of money. I can see why he wants that back.”

  “I’m horrible.”

  “No. You’re not horrible. We just need to figure out a plan.”

  “It’ll hurt Uncle Tom,” Amy said. “If he finds out that I never told him how I’ve been living since it happened, he will be devastated.”

  “It’s okay,” Luke said.

  Tears fell faster from Amy’s eyes. Luke tried to collect as many as he could. There was no need for Amy to feel the way she did. The guilt and fear were vile. Luke kissed Amy’s forehead and then her mouth. She let out a shaking breath as she kissed back.

  “Please don’t go,” Amy whispered.

  “I would never leave,” Luke said. “Do you trust me?”

  Amy nodded. “I do.”

  “Good. Then we’ll figure something out.”

  Luke stared at Amy and saw the look in her eyes. He couldn’t move away from her. He couldn’t be mad at her. She made a decision that today may not have been great, but in that moment, it was the best decision she could have made. Luke knew that all too well.

  Amy pulled at him. She wrapped her left leg tight around Luke and gently moved against him.

  “Amy…”

  “I want you again, right now.”

  Luke couldn’t deny her. For as much as Amy needed him, he needed her. Luke rolled on top and then across Amy. He touched his jeans and sighed. He wasn’t well prepared for a night like this.

  “Amy, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “Top drawer, Luke.”

  Luke smiled. He opened the drawer and found just what he needed. He rolled back and then pulled Amy on top of him. She let out a giggling cry but the silence that fell between them was intense. Luke put on protection and then held Amy by her hips. He looked at everything he could. Her face. Her hair. Her body. The perfection of beautiful before his eyes.

  “You look like you want to say something,” Amy whispered.

  “We can talk again later,” Luke said.

  They came together, again, and once they were finished this time, there was no energy left to talk… so they slept.

  (15)

  Luke woke up the next morning before Amy. He managed to sneak from the bed without disturbing her. He grabbed his boxers and jeans, dressing from the waist down. Luke then stood at the bed and admired Amy as she slept. The covers were just below her shoulder, showing enough skin to entice him but not too much. Even when she slept she was beautiful. Luke wanted to protect her. He wanted to be with her. He wanted everything that came with the feelings inside him.

  As he searched the small kitchen for coffee, Luke came up with a solution to a couple nagging problems. It was nice to be in a kitchen that had actual food and drink. With the coffee made, Luke sat at Amy’s table alone, sipping his hot beverage and thinking. His throat felt thick and irritated but it didn’t hurt that much. He hadn’t sang in a little while and maybe it was already helping. At least that’s what Luke could believe.

  After his first cup of coffee, he watched in awe as Amy appeared from the bedroom. She wore a long t-shirt and it tortured Luke to wonder if she wore anything else under it. Her hair looked thick, messy, and sexy. When she saw him, she smiled.

  “I thought you left.”

  “Just made coffee,” Luke said. “Thought about breakfast, but I’d hate to insult you.”

  “Insult me?”

  “If I made eggs, you’d never eat or want to cook again… it’s that bad.”

  “You know, I am a professional chef,” Amy said.

  “As long as you cook like that,” Luke said.

  Amy walked to the kitchen and when she reached for a mug, the t-shirt pulled up. Luke’s eyes widened. When he saw the black lines of panties that hugged and cupped in all the right areas on Amy’s backside and hips, he wasn’t sure whether to be turned on or let down. Seeing her in just a t-shirt and panties was sexy, but his mind couldn’t help but imagine her in nothing but a t-shirt.

  “Get your coffee and come sit with me,” Luke said.

  “Aren’t you hungry?”

  “For you, yes.”

  Amy blushed and almost spilled her coffee. She stumbled and walked to the table. Sitting across from Luke, they stared at each other, the passion from last night still present. It was all Luke could hope for right then. He didn’t want to just spend a night with Amy. He wanted more time… more of her…

  “I have something for you,” Luke said.

  “Something?”

  “A way to help everyone out.”

  Amy sighed and sipped her coffee. “Can we talk about this in a little while? I really don’t want to get into anything first thing in the morning.”

  “Okay,” Luke said. “Whatever you want, baby, I’m right here.”

  “How does your throat feel?”

  “Better,” Luke said. “That’s what rest will do.”

  “Should you be resting more?”

  “Resting more?” Luke asked.

  He watched color flood Amy’s face. “You know, I mean, what we did last night… does that…”

  “Making love to you does not hurt my throat,” Luke said. He reached across the table and took Amy’s hand. “And if it did, I wouldn’t stop.
I’d lose my voice if it meant taking care of you, baby.”

  Amy’s bottom lip quivered. She then bit on her lip and that was all Luke could handle. He stood from the table, his hand still holding Amy’s hand. He pulled her, forcing her into his arms.

  “This is dangerous,” Luke said.

  “What is?”

  “How much I want you.”

  They kissed. His hands touched the line of panties cupping her ass. He lifted Amy and carried her to the bedroom. Luke should have known better than to leave the bedroom. They should have just stayed there all night and all morning.

  When they finished that morning, Luke rolled from Amy short of breath. Any kind of apprehension she may have had the night about with them coming together for the first time (or second time), it was long gone by then. Luke couldn’t recall being with a woman who wanted him so badly or who was willing to show the passion in return like Amy had done. It wasn’t because he was a famous rockstar, it was because Luke was simply Luke. He faced Amy in her bed, fighting to get the last few strands of sweaty hair off her face. She looked at him with the most innocent, in-need-of set of eyes that tore through any barrier Luke ever thought of putting up. That made the thought easy rolling through his mind, he was falling for Amy.

  They remained silent except their breaths, long enough that Luke actually considered just staying in bed with her all day long.

  “I want to help you,” Luke said.

  “Luke…”

  “Amy, don’t look away from me.” Luke held Amy’s face in his hands. “I care about you. I really care about you. I’m falling for you. Right now as I speak and from the second you crashed into me outside that hotel.”

  “Don’t say things like that,” Amy said.

  “It’s the truth. That night, we were in a hotel room because our tour bus got a flat tire. I needed the night to rest my throat but the guys wanted to play. Next thing I knew, fans were showing up and it turned into a damn concert. I had to get out of there because my throat started to really bother me. So I left. I stood in the cold and waited for something to happen. Something to come to me. Then you came… and you’ve become a part of me somehow.”

  “Luke, I’m naked right now,” Amy said. “Any guy…”

  Luke shut his eyes. “My eyes are shut and I’m still falling for you.”

  “Luke,” Amy said with a sigh. “I’m a mess. You’re recovering from a throat issue. You have a band. I have a restaurant to run.”

  “We have each other,” Luke said. “Right here, right now. Fallen Tuesday is recording in New York. I’m going to get it done right around here. There’s a studio, I’m sure. If not, I’ll build one. I don’t care. I’m not leaving.”

  “You have a house in Los Angeles.”

  “No. I have an apartment that’s half trashed and mostly empty. It’s not a home. It’s nothing. When I stepped into that apartment, my heart broke. It was so lonely. I’d rather be here, with you, chilly and naked in bed.”

  “Even if I was wearing clothes?” Amy asked with a smile.

  “Sure. We can get into bed with you wearing clothes. I’d end up taking them off… but sure.”

  Amy put her lips to Luke’s chest. “This is too good for me.”

  “No, it’s not. I’m sorry for the guilt you’re carrying. I’m going to take care of that.”

  “Take care of what?”

  “Denny.”

  “What does that mean?” Amy looked at Luke with worried eyes.

  “I played drums for Chasing Cross after their drummer left and took a break. It was the offer of a lifetime and I took advantage of it. But I also took advantage of my body. I played two shows a night, one with Fallen Tuesday and then one with Chasing Cross. It was grueling and fun, but it screwed my throat up. I spent three or four hours a night singing and screaming. That’s when it started. I went to a doctor and got the news that I should take a break. But I didn’t take a break. I kept going.”

  “I’m sorry you went through that,”Amy said.

  “Well, I was paid like I was the drummer for Chasing Cross. I thought I would take the money and buy something I didn’t really need, but to be honest, I hate the money. I hate the idea of that money being the reason why I’m in this position with Fallen Tuesday. I’ll pay Denny back the money you owe. He’ll disappear and you move forward.”

  “No,” Amy said. She hurried and sat up, holding the sheet to her chest. “I would never do that.”

  “I’m not offering,” Luke said. “I’m doing it.”

  “I can’t end up owing you now.”

  “You won’t owe me. I’m paying it forward. You shouldn’t have been put in that situation.”

  “I refuse to take it.”

  Amy started to move from the bed. Luke tried to grab at her but he ended up with the bed sheet instead. It pulled from Amy’s nude body. The sight was beautiful but definitely not the right time to see. Amy retrieved a robe and put it on.

  “I’m not a whore,” Amy said.

  “I never said that. I’m trying to help you.”

  Luke didn’t get it. What was so wrong with helping?

  “Your heart means well,” Amy said. “I can’t take your money. You earned it.”

  “I hate that money,” Luke said. He moved from the bed and grabbed his pants. “I just said that, Amy. I don’t want that money.”

  “Fine,” Amy said. “Go invest it in something.”

  “So what are you going to do then? Spend your life looking over your shoulder? Waiting for Denny to text you? To come back? What about your uncle?”

  “That’s my life,” Amy said. “Those are my problems. Not yours. You have enough to deal with without my life. I already told you, I’m a mess.”

  “Yeah? Well I think I’m in love with this mess,” Luke said. “Okay?”

  Amy touched her mouth. “Please…”

  “No,” Luke said. “You’re not going to be afraid of this.” Luke walked to Amy. He touched her arms. “Tell me. Tell me how you feel about me. About us. About this between us."

  "I don't know what you want me to say."

  "How you feel," Luke said.

  "I like you, Luke. I can't believe that you're a famous rockstar and that you want me."

  "Don't treat me like that," Luke said. "I'm not a rockstar right now. I'm a man confessing my feelings to you."

  "You want to give me money. How can I look at you and not feel guilty? Every purchase I make..."

  "I want to put the money to good use," Luke said. "Your happiness is worth it to me. Get this guy out of your life."

  "I told you already, invest it."

  Amy shook away and walked by Luke. She made it to the door and Luke called her name. Amy looked back, her eyes glossy.

  "I can't walk out again," Luke said. "Not like last time."

  "I have to go tell Uncle Tom the truth," Amy said. "That's what needs to be done here. I'll talk to him and see what he can do."

  "I'll tell him my plan," Luke said.

  "No. Look what I've done. I've dragged you into this, like I said I didn't want to."

  "I'm not being dragged anywhere," Luke said. "I'm standing right here, waiting for you to tell me how you feel."

  Amy hesitated. With a hand on the door, she threatened to walk out and shut it. Luke knew he could have charged at her and held her there in the room. That moment was gone though. Luke wanted truth. If he was going to be hurt, then fine. He could handle it in that moment.

  "I can't take your money," Amy said.

  "That doesn't tell me how you feel."

  Luke took a couple steps and then stopped. Amy took her hand off the handle as a tear fell from her eye. She fell toward Luke and he held her. He scooped her up and hugged her.

  "It's going to be okay, baby," Luke said. "I'm here. I'm not leaving."

  "Luke, I'm scared everything is going to hurt me again."

  "Why?"

  Amy looked at Luke. "Because losing you might kill me."

 
; Luke kissed Amy. He couldn't contain himself. He didn't want it to be like this but he couldn’t stop. He had to taste Amy's lips. He wanted to contain her fear and pain and show her that her life would be good with him.

  When the kiss broke, Amy stepped back. "I have to talk to my uncle. I have no choice, Luke."

  "Will you think about my offer?"

  "Will you think about what I said?" Amy asked. "It's your money. Take care of yourself."

  "I want to take care of you," Luke said.

  "I need to take care of myself right now," Amy said. "You can stay here. I'm not asking you to leave or anything. You do what you have to do here. I just need to talk to my uncle."

  Luke kissed Amy one more time and then he watched her leave the bedroom. He was still hungry but he didn't bring that up to Amy. A plan began to form in his mind though. He knew Amy was falling for him and he couldn't believe how he felt about her. For all the things he'd done in his life, good and bad, for the secret he kept that almost took his band down, Luke felt it was time to step forward and start thinking about the future. The future didn't belong in Los Angeles, in a cramped apartment - or even a mansion. The future, according to Luke's mind and heart, belonged right where he was, with Amy.