Beautifully Broken Spirit

Home > Other > Beautifully Broken Spirit > Page 7
Beautifully Broken Spirit Page 7

by Catherine Cowles


  It all came down to trust. A five-letter word that was so incredibly fragile. With others, but even more so with yourself.

  This horse didn’t know if she could trust her perception of what was happening around her. And boy did I ever know how that felt. Everything around you became a potential threat when you couldn’t trust the way you interpreted the world around you.

  “It’s okay, beautiful girl. You take all the time you need.” I crooned the words softly, willing her to hear hope in my words. The promise of a safe space to rest. To have a little bit of her freedom returned to her.

  She sniffed the air, catching my scent on the breeze, but she didn’t venture any closer. Instead, she chose to stay on the other side of the pen. I remained still, my head lowered as I kept talking. I told the mare about Cole Ranch. About the other horses.

  I promised her that when we got to the ranch, no one would ever hurt her again. That she could set the pace for our relationship, and I would always respect it.

  I lost track of time as I continued speaking in a low, comforting tone. Sharing with this beautiful girl everything that filtered into my mind. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when something shifted. The mare’s energy calmed just a bit. She took a few tentative steps towards the fence.

  I slowly extended my hand. The horse took another step, giving my fingers a sniff. Her whiskers tickled my fingertips, and I grinned. The first small step towards that fragile five-letter word. The greatest gift of all.

  She was going to adjust beautifully. I had a feeling it was the noise and chaotic energy of the holding facility that had her so jumpy. She nuzzled my hand. This mare loved people. You could tell. I rubbed her cheek. “You’ll be getting all sorts of attention when I get you back to the ranch.”

  My fingers eased up her face and then down her neck, so very slowly. “What do you say, beautiful girl? Want to come home with me tomorrow?” There was no discernable answer, but I liked to believe there was a flicker of hope in the horse’s eyes.

  “I’ll be back soon.” I would never lie to this mare. The potential gift of her trust was too valuable. “It’s going to be scary. You’re going to have to ride in a trailer again. And there will be some loud noises and a few new faces, but you’re so brave. And I promise you, it will be worth it.”

  The horse let out a little huff of air. I could only hope that I was doing the right thing, choosing the right timing. I slowly rose, and she backed away. I did the same. But I would be back for her. She’d never be alone on my watch again.

  The bell jingled as I pushed open the door to the Kettle. The scents of tea and baked goods were almost as comforting as that of horses and hay. Almost.

  My mom greeted me with a bright smile. “So?”

  I grinned back. “I’m bringing her home tomorrow.”

  Mom did a little jump and squeal, clapping her hands together as she went. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “She’s going to need a little time to adjust, but I can tell she loves people.”

  My mom sobered. “Poor thing. I hate that she’s been stuck there for so long. We’ll make her feel safe again.”

  I rounded the counter and wrapped my mom in a hug. God, I loved this woman. She approached every living creature, large or small, the same. It didn’t matter if they were human, mammal, or reptile, they all got kindness and a safe place to rest in Sarah Cole’s orbit. “I love you, Mom.”

  She gave me a squeeze. “I love you, too, baby girl.” She released me. “So, you got a name picked out?”

  “Not yet.”

  My mom let out a huff of air. “Everyone needs a name.”

  I chuckled. My mom was always hurrying me to name the horses I adopted, but I liked to give them a chance to show me who they were first. “I’ll know when I know. But I have a couple ideas.”

  “Oh, fine.” A timer buzzed from the kitchen. “Watch the register while I grab that batch of brownies, would you?”

  “Of course.” I eyed the bakery case to see how we were doing on supplies. I’d only been gone a couple of hours, but the scones were gone, and the brownies were running low. Good thing I could count on my mom to stay on top of it all. Now, if only I could find another employee as good as her.

  The bell over the door jingled, and two men entered, pulling off their cowboy hats as they crossed the threshold. Their expressions were as different as night and day. One had a bright smile, the other wore a deep scowl. Here we go…

  Kind smile walked up to the counter. “Afternoon, Miss Jensen. How’re you doing?”

  “I’m good, Bill, how about you?”

  “Can’t complain. Just grabbing some supplies at the feed store and had to get a stash of some of your treats for the road.” He patted his stomach.

  The man behind him mumbled something under his breath that I couldn’t quite make out, but it had Bill giving him a warning look.

  “Check out what we’ve got in the case, and my mom’s pulling another batch of brownies out of the oven right now.” I met Mr. Grumpy’s gaze. “Can I offer you a sample of anything? On the house.”

  The man’s stare hardened. “I wouldn’t take food from you if you paid me.”

  “Tom—” Bill started.

  I bristled. “Excuse me?”

  Tom’s hands fisted at his sides. “You think you’re better than the rest of us. Throwing your family’s money around to protect those horses that are no good to anyone.”

  My jaw clenched. Last year, there’d been a vote on whether to increase the lands for ranchers to lease for grazing. That increase would’ve cut into the area where the mustangs roamed. My family had been vocal in opposing the measure, and some people thought we were betraying our own.

  I took a steadying breath. “I understand you might not agree with our stance, but that doesn’t change the taste of the cookies we serve here. I’d be happy to give you some.” Kill them with kindness. I repeated my mom’s mantra over and over in my head.

  Tom let out an unflattering curse, then turned on his heel and strode right out the door. Good riddance.

  Bill shuffled forward, his cheeks red. “I’m real sorry about that, Jensen. Tom has a temper on him.”

  I waved a hand in front of my face. “Not your fault. I know it’s tough when you’re passionate about something and someone disagrees.”

  “That’s true enough.” Bill pointed out what he wanted and paid. “You have a good day.”

  “You, too.” I stared out the front windows as Bill headed for his truck. I wished there were a more straightforward answer to maintaining the balance between the ranchers and the mustangs, but there didn’t seem to be one. And at the end of the day, the horses had been there first, so that had to earn them some rights.

  I startled as my mom squeezed my shoulder. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, just an unhappy rancher.”

  Mom frowned. “He say something?”

  I sighed. “Nothing I haven’t heard before. You okay until closing? I was hoping to get some things set up for the new mare before Tuck brings Noah home from their manly man hang session.”

  My mom laughed softly. “Of course. Go make she-who-has-yet-to-be-named a cozy home.”

  I grinned. “She’ll have a name when she’s ready.” And she’d have a new home tomorrow.

  11

  Tuck

  “Okay, what do we do next?”

  Noah’s brow furrowed, his face scrunching slightly. “Get low and get quiet.”

  I grinned. “You got it.”

  We crouched, and Noah studied the outskirts of the clearing. “There are some broken branches over there.”

  “Good eye, little man. You lead the way.”

  His chest puffed out as he rose and gave me a smile that would have melted the coldest hearts. I loved getting this time with him. Teaching him to track the same way my grandfather had taught me.

  Noah walked carefully towards the edge of the clearing, his gaze trying to figure out a path an animal might
have taken. He made it a few feet into the trees and then halted. “I don’t see anything else.”

  I gave his shoulder a squeeze. “When I can’t figure out what’s next, I try to look at the picture from a different angle.”

  Noah looked up at me. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, think about it this way,”—I got on my tiptoes, towering over him—“when I look at you from here, I see one thing.” I crouched down level with him. “From here, I see another.” I laid down on the forest floor. “And from here, another.”

  Noah giggled. “So, I should lay down on the ground to see where the deer went?”

  I sat up, smiling at him. “If that’s what it takes. But try getting low again first.”

  Noah sank to his knees and stared at the brush all around us. His eyes squinted until they were slits, and he finally let out an exasperated sigh. “I still don’t see anything.” His head drooped. “Maybe I’m no good at tracking.”

  “Hey, now.” I gave his back a pat. “No one is an expert their first few times out. I told you about the time your uncle Walker and I decided we were going to track a cougar and got lost, didn’t I?”

  A small smile tipped up Noah’s lips, and he nodded.

  “My mom and your grandma were so mad. Walker and I were grounded for two whole weeks in the middle of summer.”

  Noah’s smile grew wider. “And Grampa made you guys muck out the whole barn, right?”

  I ruffled Noah’s hair. “He did. And let me tell you, mucking stalls in the dead of summer is a smelly job.”

  Noah giggled. “I bet.”

  “All right. Ready to keep trying?”

  “Ready.”

  I pointed towards the forest floor. While most of it was riddled with pine needles, there was a small patch of soft soil showing through.

  Noah’s head snapped back to me. “Tracks!”

  I rose, helping Noah up as I went. “Let’s go see if it will show us where they’re headed.”

  We made our way over to the patch of ground, and Noah crouched low, studying the hoof prints. “I think…” He paused, nibbling on his bottom lip. “I think they’re going that way.” Noah pointed off to the east.

  “I think you’re right.”

  Noah’s face brightened, and he rose.

  “What do you know that’s in that direction that the deer might be interested in?”

  His thinking-face scrunch was back. Noah looked like a cross between Yoda and an adorable Pug. I fought the chuckle that wanted to escape. His face brightened. “The creek! Maybe they’re thirsty.”

  “That’s exactly what I was thinking. Let’s head over there and see what we can find.”

  Noah grinned but faltered. “I don’t know exactly where I’m going, can you lead the way?”

  “Of course.” I stepped over a fallen log. “The more you come out here, the easier it will be to remember exactly how to get where you want to go.”

  “I just have to keep a lookout for landmarks, right?”

  I couldn’t help the massive smile. Noah was so eager to learn. “That’s right. But no coming out here alone, remember?”

  “Oh, I won’t. I don’t want to shovel horse poop for two weeks like you and Uncle Walker.”

  I chuckled. “Smart man.”

  Noah grabbed my hand. “Look!” The single word came out on a whisper-shout. I froze. “There’s babies.”

  My gaze shot to the creek where a herd of about eight deer, including three fawns, drank. “You did it. You found them.”

  Noah looked up at me, wonder filling his expression. “I did, didn’t I?”

  “I’d say you’re on your way to becoming a tracker.”

  He didn’t let go of my hand. “Thanks for teaching me, Tuck.”

  Warmth flooded me at his words. “Anytime, little man.”

  “I can’t wait to tell Mom.”

  My chest tightened. Yet another reason I needed to keep Jensen filed away in the sister category. I didn’t want to lose this with Noah. I already had one family in shambles, I couldn’t risk the one I had built for myself.

  I pulled my truck up to the fence line at Jensen’s property. She’d been busy this afternoon. Two smaller paddock areas had been set up next to her small barn. I turned off the engine, my gaze searching for that flowing, brunette mane.

  I pushed my door gently closed as my eyes caught on her form. Jensen stood forehead to forehead with Phoenix in the pasture. My steps halted. Watching Jensen with her horses was always a sight to behold. The connection. The trust. It was simply breathtaking.

  Phoenix must’ve caught my scent because she broke the hold first, her head turning towards me. Jensen followed, raising a hand as she headed my way. “Hey. Where’s Noah?”

  I ducked between the rails in the fence. “We stopped by the ranch house on the way up here, and he opted to stay with Irma so they could practice their karate moves.”

  Jensen laughed as the wind whipped her hair around her face in a wild dance. God, she was beautiful.

  I swallowed hard and looked towards the newly erected paddocks. “I take it you’ve found at least one new member for your herd.”

  Jensen took a step closer, and I could see hints of that old wildfire dancing in her eyes. “She’s beautiful, Tuck. Beaten down, but so beautiful. We’re gonna give her a safe place to rest.”

  “She couldn’t land anywhere better.”

  Jensen gazed out at the horizon. “Except back with her family.”

  I couldn’t ignore the flicker of pain in Jensen’s eyes. I pulled her to me, wrapping an arm around her and resting my chin on top of her head. “You’re going to give her a new family.”

  “I hope it’s enough.” She whispered the words against my chest.

  “Enough what?”

  J pulled back so that she could meet my gaze. “Right now? She’s just surviving. I want her to live.”

  I wondered if Jensen was aware just how much she had in common with the horse she was going to be taking in. Maybe they could bring each other back to life. “When are you—?”

  My words were cut off by the sound of tires on gravel, and I recognized Walker’s truck. I instinctively took another step away from Jensen as if Walker would be able to sense the thoughts I was fighting so hard against, the ones I was certain he’d deck me for if he knew I was having them. He’d probably ban me from ever entering the Cole property again, too.

  My hands tightened to fists, but I forced a grin. “Hey, Walk.” He didn’t look happy. Had he seen us hugging?

  Walker ducked between the fence rails. “Hey, guys.”

  “Hey, big bro, what are you doing up here?” Jensen grinned up at him.

  “Mom said you’re adopting another horse. A senior one.”

  Jensen’s mask, the one I fucking hated, slipped into place at her brother’s tone. “I am.”

  Walker eyed her carefully and gentled his voice. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “Why wouldn’t it be?” There was the slightest flicker of doubt in Jensen’s voice, and the hint of fire in her eyes was now long gone.

  I had a sudden urge to deck my best friend.

  Walker took a step towards his sister. “You’ve had so much going lately. You’re overworked. You’re not sleeping. Are you really sure adding another horse is really a good idea?”

  Annoyance flitted across Jensen’s face. “I know what I can handle.”

  Walker sighed. “Are you sure about that?”

  “Walker.” My single word was a warning.

  Of course, Walker didn’t heed it. “Come on, you can’t think this is a good idea. The last thing she needs is another responsibility on her plate.”

  A muscle in my cheek ticked. “Actually, I think it’s a great idea.”

  “Hey, jackasses.” Both Walker and I started at Jensen’s interjection. “Thanks for fighting over what’s in my best interest. But, guess what? I don’t need permission or approval from either of you. And now that you’ve completely
ruined the happy buzz I had going, I’m going to leave. You two can stay out here all night and argue about what’s best for me, it won’t change a damn thing.” Jensen started for the fence line.

  “J,” Walker called. But she didn’t even slow.

  “Fuck.” I rubbed at my temples.

  Walker whirled on me. “You really think this is a good idea?”

  I watched as Jensen got into her SUV and took off. “She has a point. It doesn’t matter what we think. But, Walk,”—I turned to face him—“when she talked about that mare, it was the most life I’d seen in her eyes in months.”

  “Really?” He looked towards J’s vehicle, disappearing in a cloud of dust.

  “Really.” And I would do anything to keep that spark of life in Jensen’s eyes.

  12

  Jensen

  I sucked in a deep breath, letting the cool, pine scent soothe every tired muscle in my body. It had been a long week. I’d brought Willow home on Monday—Willow, that’s what I’d named the mare with the haunted eyes. For the trees that were known to withstand the highest winds so well they would bend but never break.

  She was adjusting to her new home perfectly, but I’d been spending extra time with my herd just to make sure. There was karate and family dinners and prepping lunches and work. I was exhausted, but I’d come into the Kettle extra early the past three days so I could mix extra dough to get ahead on the baking schedule and steal away for a couple of quiet hours today.

  I needed this time. I had to reclaim one of my favorite places in the world. If I didn’t, it would forever have a darkness to it. And this place, as well as the meadow and forests surrounding it, should always be bathed in light.

  I tightened the straps on my pack. No one could accuse me of not taking precautions now. I’d told my mom exactly where I would be. Heck, I’d even borrowed one of the satellite phones my dad kept on hand.

  I would’ve asked Tuck to go with me, but I knew he was working, and he probably would’ve tried to talk me out of it. Not to mention, I was still a little pissed at him. Him and my brother. Their overprotectiveness and desire to make all my decisions for me was stifling.

 

‹ Prev