I took another deep breath. This was why I needed horses. Mine and the ones who still ran free. With them, I could just be. I couldn’t explain it exactly, but they eased my soul somehow.
I began the hike up the familiar path, but this time, I rounded the ridge and headed straight for the meadow. I wasn’t quite ready to revisit the site where I’d found the fallen mare. I’d take the more popular trail.
I hiked for an hour before I saw them. Tension seeped from my muscles as I recognized the stallion. I counted at least ten mares. Four foals. Everyone was safe. They all looked healthy. I let out a long breath. My sleep had been restless for the past couple of weeks, but not for the usual reasons. Instead of being filled with Bryce, my nightmares had been filled with fallen horses.
I needed this. Had to know they were okay. And now I could tell Lee the same. I found a spot to settle in. I set down my pack and pulled out my bottle of water and a sandwich. I sat and watched and ate. I let the horses’ peaceful energy flow over me. Soaked up each precious moment as the family interacted, coaxing their young ones along, searching out grass to eat. This glimpse of life was the perfect remedy to the heartache of the lost mare.
“What are you thinking coming out here?”
I jolted at the sound of Tuck’s voice. “What are you doing here?”
He glowered at me. “I’m working a case. You know the one where you found a horse shot to death?”
My mouth fell open. Tuck was overprotective, but this felt extreme. “You think the hunter’s going to come back to the same place?” Tuck’s jaw worked, but he said nothing. Pieces began to slide into place. I shot to my feet. “You don’t think this was an accident.”
A muscle ticked in Tuck’s cheek. That flicker of movement I was so very familiar with. “I don’t have evidence either way, and there haven’t been any other incidents.”
My eyes narrowed. “But your gut’s telling you it wasn’t an accident.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “It doesn’t matter what my gut says, you shouldn’t be tromping around where a crime was committed.”
My hands fisted. “I’m not. I didn’t take that unmarked trail. I took the official, marked path. I didn’t see any signs that said it was closed. Has the Forest Service closed this trail, Tuck?”
That muscle in his cheek was dancing to a staccato beat now. “I need you to trust me to handle this.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “I do trust you to handle it. I’m not poking around, looking for evidence or anything. I just wanted some time with the mustangs. It’s been a long week, and I needed—”
“You needed to catch your breath.” Tuck’s gaze held me captive, his ice-blue eyes burning into mine.
How did he see me better than anyone? “With them, with my herd, it’s the only place I breathe easily.”
Tuck stepped closer. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I won’t.” I gestured towards my pile of stuff. “I’ve got a stocked pack, a sat phone. I’m covered.”
Tuck pulled me against him. “It’s not enough. Please. Don’t come out here alone again. Call me.”
His body was all rigid muscle. I spoke into his pec. “Okay.”
“Promise?”
I fisted my hands in his shirt. “I promise.”
Tuck’s lips pressed against the top of my head, and I fought the urge to let my hands wander.
“Thank you.” He released me.
My hands seemed to tingle where I’d touched him. I swallowed hard, hating how much I felt the loss of those strong arms around me. “I brought an extra sandwich. Want to have lunch with me?”
Tuck grinned. “Have I ever turned down any food you made?”
I tapped a finger against my lips. “I don’t think so.”
We settled down into my spot in the grass, and I handed him my second sandwich. He dug into it with gusto. “This bread with the rosemary,” he said around a full mouth, “it’s the best.”
“Nina from the bakery and Tessa came up with the recipe.” I took a sip of water.
Tuck motioned for my bottle, and I handed it over. He took a swig. “Those two come up with the most unlikely but delicious concoctions.”
“That they do.” I stared out at the grazing herd.
“I need to get some of this for my mom.”
I stole a peek at Tuck from the corner of my eye. “How is she?” Knowing when I could ask about his parents and when it wasn’t okay was a delicate balance. People thought that Tuck and his dad just didn’t get along that well. I knew the truth. Craig Harris had broken his son’s heart.
Tuck turned his gaze to the horses. “She says she’s fine. But he’s slowly stealing her life one day at a time. She just doesn’t seem to see that.”
I knew a little something about hoping a man would change even when he had given you all the signs in the world that he never would. After I’d gotten pregnant with Noah, and Cody had run off to who knows where, I’d hoped and prayed for months that he’d realize what he was missing and come back. That first night in the hospital after Noah had been born and I finally came to terms with the fact that I was going to raise him alone, I’d bawled so hard a nurse had come running.
“Give her time. Everyone has to find his or her own way to what makes them happy.”
Tuck turned to me. “And what about you? Are you happy?”
I plucked a blade of grass and twisted it around my finger. “I’m happy enough.”
An angry scowl took over Tuck’s face.
I chuckled and reached over to pinch his cheek. “Oh, come on, don’t be such a grumpy butt.”
“I’ll show you grumpy.” Tuck dove for me, going straight for my most ticklish spots, my sides just above my hip bones.
I shrieked, laughing and twisting, trying anything to escape his hold. “Okay, okay, you’re not grumpy.”
Tuck stilled his assault but stayed hovering over me as I lay in the grass. The heat of his body seemed to pour into mine. My belly tightened. His eyes tracked over my face. “I want you to be so happy, so full of joy it seeps out of your skin.”
My breath hitched. “Maybe one day.”
“Yeah, one day.”
13
Tuck
My eyes tracked the movement of Jensen’s hips as they swayed on the dance floor. She wore jeans that might as well have been a second skin, and a top that dipped down low enough in the back for me to know there was no bra underneath. My back molars ground together.
One last get-together before Liam and Tessa left on his tour. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Good friends, cold drinks. What could go wrong? Just me having to live through the nine circles of Hell in the form of the temptation on the dance floor.
Jensen threw her head back, letting out a cackling laugh I could hear over the country music that spilled out of the speakers. She spun in circles with Taylor and Tessa. They were all three sheets to the wind, but I was happy that she was letting loose. Even if it meant my jeans felt two sizes tighter.
There was heat at my side, but I kept my gaze on the dance floor. Firm breasts pressed into my arm.
“Hey, Tucker.”
I turned to take in Lucy Bigsby. My gaze traveled the length of her. She had certainly grown up over the past few years. I’d heard she was off getting her masters somewhere, but she must have been home for an end-of-year break. “Hey, Lucy.”
“How you been?” She blinked up at me, her long lashes fluttering.
“Been good, darlin’. How about you?” I tried to stay focused on Lucy, but my gaze kept being pulled towards the dance floor. A flash of mahogany hair in the lights caught my eye as Jensen did some sort of twirl that almost landed her on her ass.
There was a tug on my collar. “I’ve been good. I was hoping I’d see you when I came home. I was thinking maybe we could hang out later. Or…now. We could call it an early night…”
I should’ve taken Lucy up on her offer. She was exactly what I probably needed to get my mind
off the brown-haired beauty trying to execute some sort of ballerina move on the dance floor. But the thought of Lucy’s hands on me made me cringe. “Sorry, Lucy. I’m here with some friends. Kind of a going-away deal.”
I watched as Liam swooped in to pull Tessa to him as the music changed to something a little slower. He swept the hair away from her face and pressed his lips to her temple, his embrace staying there for a few beats.
The gesture was so tender, I had to look away. My gaze flicked to Walker, who held Taylor in his arms, nuzzling her neck. She giggled and grabbed his butt. I chuckled to myself.
Then my vision zeroed in on Jensen. Some rancher I knew by sight only had yanked her into his arms, even though she was barely staying upright. His hands inched lower. Oh, hell no.
I pushed off my stool so abruptly, Lucy staggered backwards. “Sorry,” I called as I charged towards Jensen and Mr. Handsy. He took one look at me striding towards them and released J with a start. She stumbled back, almost falling, but I caught her. “Get lost.”
“Whatever, dude.” Mr. Handsy went off to sulk.
“Tuck.” Jensen curled into me as if seeking comfort and heat. “Dance with me.”
I wrapped my arms around her as she began to sway. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Mmmkay.” She kept swaying. Her lean, athletic curves pressed up against me, and her cheek rested on my chest over my heart. Suddenly, her swaying slowed. “I don’t feel so good.”
Oh, shit. “Come on, Little J, let’s get you home.”
Her face scrunched up. “I’m not little.”
“No, you’re certainly not,” I muttered. I flagged down Walker. “I’m gonna take her home. I think she’s about to be down for the count.”
Walker eyed Jensen’s drooping form. “She’s gonna be hurting tomorrow.” His gaze flicked to me. “You sure you don’t mind?”
I shook my head. “You guys stay, have fun.”
I jerked up my chin at Liam, who returned the gesture. Then I headed for the exit. As I pushed open the doors, Jensen leaned harder into my side. She was officially done for.
“Can I take a nap here?” Her words slurred slightly together as she started to slide down my body towards the sidewalk.
“Not quite yet, darlin’.” I swung her up into my arms. This would be far easier.
Jensen’s face scrunched. “Don’t call me darlin’.”
I headed towards my truck in the back lot. “Why not?”
“You call your roving band of bed buddies darlin’.”
I let out a bark of laughter. How she’d managed to string those words together in her state was beyond me. “Roving band of bed buddies, huh?”
Jensen yanked on my shirt, forcing my ear closer to her lips. “You’re kind of a slut,” she said in a stage whisper.
I chuckled, but something foreign burned in my gut. “What can I say? I like women.” I usually did, anyway. Lately, I’d been having the same reaction to most as I had with Lucy earlier.
Jensen leaned her head against my shoulder. “You could use a little more discerning taste.”
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
“Good.” Her eyes fluttered closed. “But you probably shouldn’t listen to me.”
“And why’s that?” I lowered Jensen’s feet to the ground and leaned her against myself and the truck, beeping the locks.
She tipped her head back against my truck, eyes still closed. “Because I haven’t had sex in so long, I’ve probably forgotten how.”
I nearly choked on my tongue. Instead, I let out a spluttering cough.
Jensen’s eyes fluttered open, and she stared up at the stars. “I need to get laid.”
Words I definitely did not need to hear from Jensen. Little J, I reminded myself. Someone I should be looking at as a little sister, not as a grown woman with curves for days and eyes I could lose myself in as I took her hard and fast.
I shook my head. Get ahold of yourself, man. “Let’s get you home.”
Jensen nodded. “That sounds good.”
I pulled open the truck door and helped Jensen in. Leaning over her to buckle her seat belt, I caught that scent of jasmine. The one that always undid me. My jeans got tighter. I snapped the belt in place and got the hell out of there.
Rounding the vehicle, I took a moment to inhale deeply, using the cold night air to clear away the remnants of jasmine. Just get her home, get her in bed, and get out. I could do this.
The drive back to the Cole Ranch was quiet, Jensen dozing in the seat next to mine. I reminded myself over and over that she wasn’t for me. There were so many reasons I should stay away. It would be a betrayal of my friendship, no… my brotherhood with Walker. Not to mention that I wasn’t sure I was equipped to be the man Jensen and Noah needed. But, most of all, if I fucked things up with Jensen, I’d lose the only family I had left.
I pulled to a stop outside the guest house. The best thing I could do for her—and for myself—was to be her friend. And when the right guy came along, I’d step aside and let her be happy. It would kill something inside of me, but it was the right thing to do.
I got out and rounded the truck, pulling open the passenger-side door. I held my breath, reaching over to unbuckle Jensen’s seat belt. I slipped an arm under her legs and another behind her back, lifting her from the seat. I leaned against the door to close it. “J, where’s your key?”
“Let me sleep,” she grumbled into my neck.
I chuckled. “I need your key before you can sleep.”
“Back pocket,” she mumbled, aggravation clear in her tone.
I carried her up to the door, then set her feet on the ground as I held her up with one arm. I slipped my free hand into her back pocket. Jensen had always been in incredible shape. From the day that she could walk, she had tried to run. She’d chased Walker and me around from the moment she got her sea legs. She played every sport possible from the minute they were offered to her. Now, she hauled hay and feed to her horses. She mucked stalls and chased her son around. Her body was strong and muscled, which created curves that would make any man drool.
I squeezed my eyes closed as my hand rounded her tight ass, searching for that damn key in the pocket of jeans so tight, I thought my hand might actually get stuck there. My fingertips touched metal. I clasped the edge of the key with two fingers and slowly pulled it out. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Come on, champ. Let’s go.”
Jensen muttered something unintelligible and tried to get through the door on her own steam. Instead, she ran smack into the entryway table, sending it toppling and her teetering. Thankfully, Noah was at his weekly slumber party with his grandparents, so at least we weren’t going to wake anyone up.
I grasped her arm. “Whoa there. Why don’t I just help you get upstairs?”
Her head bobbed. “’Kay.”
I closed the door, locking it behind me as I swung Jensen up into my arms once again. I headed up the stairs, being careful not to let her head bang into a wall or something.
When we reached the second floor, Jensen’s eyes flew open. “I’m gonna puke.”
“Oh, shit.” I jogged to the bathroom, set her down on the floor, and opened the lid of the toilet just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach. I pulled her hair away from her face and rubbed a hand up and down her back as she retched. It took some time, but finally, her body quieted. “You think you’re done?”
She nodded slowly, and I lifted her up, setting her on the counter. I wet a washcloth and carefully cleaned her face, including the makeup she rarely wore. I liked her better without it, as if I could see the truth in her face better or something. I ran her toothbrush under the water and placed some toothpaste on it.
I wrapped her fingers around the brush. “Here, this will make you feel better.”
Jensen nodded again and began to brush her teeth. The movements were awkward and jerky at first, but she got there. She spit into the sink, and I handed her a cup
of water to rinse.
When she was done, I lifted her down from the counter. “Think you can walk?”
“Yup.”
I kept an arm around her waist just in case.
We made our way inside her bedroom. I hadn’t been in here in years. Maybe since Walker, Andrew, and I had painted it when Jensen moved in. The space was totally her. Earthy, jewel-toned colors. A cozy comforter and a worn quilt covered the bed, along with so many pillows I couldn’t count them all.
Jensen plopped down on the bed and started pulling off her shirt.
I spun around to face the wall. “What are you doing?”
“Can’t sleep in these clothes, Tuck.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be doing a striptease either.”
Jensen laughed. “It’s not like you’ve never seen boobs before.”
I coughed. “I haven’t seen yours.” And that’s how it’s going to stay.
“They’re covered now, oh innocent one.”
I slowly turned around, wondering if it might be some trick, but Jensen was, in fact, wearing a worn t-shirt.
Her jeans were halfway down her thighs, and she glared at them. “I need your help with these. They’re too damn tight.”
No shit, those things were too damn form-fitting. They should be illegal. In fact, I was going to take them with me and burn them so Jensen and her swaying hips could never tempt me again. I crossed to the bed and crouched to help her. Slowly, I peeled the denim from her long, tanned legs. My knuckles grazed skin that was so soft I had to bite back a curse. After what felt like both an eternity and a second, the jeans fell to the floor.
“Thank you,” Jensen breathed, collapsing back onto the mattress.
“Come on, let’s get you under the covers.” I threw pillow after decorative pillow to the floor. “Why do you have all these fucking pillows?” I growled.
Jensen giggled. “My bed is my nest. I like lots of cozy things.”
“I think you’ve got cozy covered.”
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