Beautifully Broken Spirit

by Catherine Cowles

  I rose, striding towards the fence, careful to avoid the path the crime scene techs might be able to get something out of. I crouched again, studying the wooden rail. It sagged in the middle. Dipped because there was a crack almost all the way through it. And blood. And in that blood were a few strands of hair. Hair so dark brown it was almost black.

  My chest spasmed with a flare of pain so bright it stole my breath. No. Fucking no. The scene that played out in my head of someone hurting my beautiful girl was too vivid. I could see the fall, hear the scream as though she were right in front of me.

  It was the same sound I’d heard when Jensen was sixteen. I’d been home from college on break, and Walker, Jensen, and I had gone on a hike. Jensen had stepped just a few feet off the trail to snap a photo of the scenery with her phone and stumbled on a coiled rattler.

  That scream had turned my blood to ice. I’d never moved so fast in my life, grabbing hold of her t-shirt and yanking her out of striking distance. She’d shook in my arms, taking a good half hour to calm down, but she’d been fine. Now, I had no clue.

  I pushed to my feet, hitting Walker’s name on my phone.

  Two rings. “Tuck. What’s up?”

  I heard Noah’s giggles in the background.

  Taylor’s voice. “Noah, if you eat one more scoop of ice cream, you won’t sleep tonight, and then your mom will never let me pick you up from karate again.”

  The boy’s giggles turned to full laughter. “I won’t tell Mom.”

  I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come.

  “Tuck? You there, man?”

  “I need you to call in an APB.” My voice was hoarse, gravelly, as though I’d smoked two packs a day for most of my life. “It’s Jensen. Someone took her.”

  44

  Jensen

  My entire body seemed to pulse in a sort of whooshing pain. I let out a small moan. What happened?

  I tried to lift my head, but the pain that sliced through it had lights flashing behind my eyes and me biting back a cry. Had I fallen? I couldn’t remember, everything seemed so very hazy.

  I kept my body still but slowly eased my eyes open. The space was entirely unfamiliar. Plywood walls. A single window that looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned in the past decade. The floor was much the same—worn wood, dusty from infrequent use.

  I needed more information. I braced myself and slowly rolled to my back. The pressure in my skull threatened to do me in. Above me were three slats of wood and a plastic-covered mattress. A bunk bed. I was on a bunk bed.

  Nowhere I was familiar with had bunk beds. My heart rate picked up. Where was I?

  I searched my memories. Flipping back and then forward and then back again. I’d been at the Kettle. I remembered the fight with Tuck. My heart gave a phantom spasm. I remembered walking across the street, tears streaming down my face and then…just nothing.

  I squinted my eyes as though doing so would help me see my memories more clearly. All it did was cause my head to throb worse than before. There was a gaping black hole when it came to where I was and how I’d gotten here.

  I eased back onto my side, taking in the room around me. I strained to see through the cloudy window. Trees. Ponderosa pines. A lot of them. Hopefully, that meant I wasn’t too terribly far from home.

  My gaze tracked over the space, and a memory flickered. A day when I was thirteen and Tuck had taken me to see the mustangs. There’d been a terrible thunderstorm, and Tuck had guided us towards one of the many Forest Service cabins scattered throughout the forest to wait it out.

  Hope flared. Maybe I’d been with Tuck and had gotten injured. He could’ve stowed me here while he went for help. Had we made things right? God, I hoped so.

  A voice sounded from somewhere. Then two voices.

  “Dammit, Bill. This isn’t what I signed up for.” That voice, something about it tickled the back of my brain.

  “Stop being such a pussy. I thought you cared about the cause.”

  “I do, but it’s one thing to kill a few horses, it’s a whole ‘nother to kidnap the daughter of a family like the Coles. They’re too connected. You do whatever you want, but I’m getting the fuck out of here.”

  A shot cracked through the air. My body jolted, and I bit down on my lip to keep from crying out. The sound of a heavy weight hitting the floor brought tears to my eyes.

  Bill. It was as if the world had sped up and slowed down at the same time. Memories flipped through my mind, coming in short bursts and out of order until it all came together. Bill. The horses. Phoenix. The punch.

  I forced my breathing to stay even, no matter how badly they wanted to come in quick, short pants. Bill had taken me. And he had a gun.

  The price I paid for ignoring that voice that told me that something wasn’t quite right. When would I learn to trust my intuition? Because when I thought back, there’d been similar instances with Cody and Bryce. Flickering doubts that I’d ignored.

  When you silenced that voice within yourself enough, it stopped speaking. And just as I was coaxing it out again, I had to go and doubt it. Never again. I would get out of this, and when I did, I’d never mute that voice again.

  Floorboards creaked. “Fuck!” Something crashed into a wall.

  I jolted into a seated position, and the room around me swam, ripples of blurred shapes and colors. That was not good. I wasn’t sure I could walk, let alone run. I needed a plan. A way out of here.

  As my vision returned, I scanned the space. I needed something. Anything I could make into a weapon.

  There was nothing. Unless you counted the mattress above me, and a desk and chair bolted to the floor. My heart picked up its pace once again as tears burned the back of my throat. Noah. My family. Tuck.

  I had to find a way out. I couldn’t lose them. Couldn’t lose my shot at a perfectly imperfect life with them. Messy. Loud. Full of love. And color. And care. I’d fight tooth and nail for that life.

  The door swung open, crashing into the wall. “Oh, good, you’re awake.”

  There was a feral gleam in Bill’s eyes. The kind you saw in a rabid animal’s. The kind of beast you had no choice but to put down.

  “What’s going on? Did I fall?” I figured ignorance might buy me some time. Some answers.

  He grinned at me, white teeth seeming to bite at the air. “Don’t play dumb with me, Jensen. I’m not Tuck, you can’t lead me around by my dick.”

  I blinked rapidly, trying to think of a response.

  Bill kept right on going. “Come on.” He gestured with his gun for me to rise. “We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”

  I stayed put. “Where are we going?”

  “Just the perfect little spot I have picked out.” He gestured with the gun again. “Get up.” I stayed still. “NOW!”

  I scrambled to my feet, and the world swam again. I reached out and grabbed hold of the top bunk to keep myself upright. “I’m not sure I can walk.”

  Bill muttered a curse. “You’re going to have to.” He jammed the gun against the small of my back. “Walk.”

  My first steps were wobbly. As I reached the doorway, the sight of blood pooling under Tom’s body had my stomach threatening to heave. “They’ll catch you. If you leave him here, they’ll catch you.”

  Bill chuckled. “I’ll bring him outside, and the scavengers will do all I need. A quick scrub of the floor, and no one will be the wiser.”

  “I’m expected at home.” I hated that my voice trembled as I said the words. “They’ll know something’s wrong.”

  Bill clucked his tongue as he pushed me out the front door of the cabin. “But it’ll be too late by then.” He sighed. “You’ve always been irresponsible, Jensen. Coming up to these woods alone all the time. In a day or two, they’ll find your SUV at one of the trailheads. And no one will be the least bit surprised when they find your body at the bottom of a ravine.”

  45

  Tuck

  I paced back and forth as crime s
cene techs milled around the parking area, the fence, and the pasture. The horses seemed to do the same, snorting and whinnying, picking up on the frenetic energy of the people invading their space.

  “There might be some other explanation.” I knew Walker didn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, but he needed something, anything to hold onto.

  I ran a hand through my hair. “We need a direction.” If they’d stayed on foot, I’d have a shot, something that I could track. But disappearing drag marks most likely meant a car. All I could do with that was wait for the next sign. I fucking hated waiting.

  I started pacing again. I had to keep moving. It was the only way to keep the guilt at bay. That curling, thick cloud eating away at my insides. Because I should’ve been with Jensen. If I hadn’t been such a colossal asshole, she wouldn’t have needed to be alone. She would’ve brought me with her. My fists clenched and flexed, the energy humming through me seeming to crackle through my fingertips.

  Walker pulled a phone out of his pocket that I hadn’t heard ring. “Cole.” Pause. “Where?” I froze. “We’ll be there in twenty. Call in SWAT.”

  My blood turned to ice. “What?” The single word was a harsh command. I didn’t give a fuck.

  “They found her SUV. A trailhead up by Pine Meadow.”

  My brows pulled together. “That makes no sense.”

  Walker shoved the phone back into his pocket. “She wouldn’t go up there alone, would she? Not now.”

  I shook my head. “She wouldn’t. And we’ve got blood and hair.” The vise around my chest constricted with each word. “Someone took her. They just used her vehicle to do it.” Which meant they didn’t have their own, unless there were two unsubs.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face. I refused to believe more than one person could be at this. “Walker, have your dad do a head count of all ranch staff, see if he’s missing anyone. I’m getting my maps out of my truck. I want to see what’s around there.”

  Walker’s jaw hardened, but he gave a chin jerk and strode towards his father. I unlatched my tailgate and pulled out a tube of maps. I thumbed through them, searching for the one I needed. My hands trembled a bit. We’d find her. She’d be fine.

  I spread the map out over my tailgate, my eyes scanning the paper. Within a minute, I had three possibilities. Potential hidey holes where this fucker could possibly keep J. If he’d gone to all the trouble of taking her away from the ranch and leaving the vehicle at Pine Meadow, she had to be alive.

  Walker leaned against the tailgate. “What do you have?”

  “I’ve got three spots for us to check out.” I pointed to the areas on the map. Two Forest Service cabins and a cliffside overhang where someone might just think they could hide a person from prying eyes. “We need to go now.”

  Walker nodded. “I’ll follow in my rig.”

  I rolled up the map I needed and slammed the tailgate closed. I was going to find my girl.

  “No. You wait for SWAT.” David’s voice cut through the speaker on my truck like a whip.

  My hands clenched around the steering wheel as I envisioned them wrapped around my boss’s throat. “It’s going to take at least another hour for SWAT to assemble. That hour could change everything.”

  He knew the words I wasn’t saying. That one hour could mean the difference in whether we found Jensen alive. I gripped the wheel harder.

  David cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I know she’s important to you, but we have procedure for a reason. It’s to keep you safe, and her. Wait for SWAT.”

  “Fuck procedure. I’m not waiting.” I couldn’t live with myself if I did.

  David’s tone hardened. “You do that, you’re out of a job. That’s disobeying a direct order.”

  “I’ll just have to take that chance.” I hit end on my phone just as I pulled into the tiny trailhead parking lot. This trail didn’t get a ton of use, and if we hadn’t been looking for J everywhere we could think of, it might’ve been days before this was called in. Weeks, even.

  Walker swung in beside me, and we both jumped out of our vehicles. A sheriff’s deputy strode up. I gave him a chin jerk. “What do you have?”

  The deputy’s hands rested on his gun belt. “A whole lot of nothing. Vehicle’s locked. No signs of struggle. It’s like she just went for a stroll.”

  My jaw worked. “She didn’t.”

  Walker squeezed my shoulder. “We’re going in. Tell SWAT we have our sat phones whenever they get here.”

  The officer’s eyes flared just a bit. “You’re not waiting for the rest of your team?”

  That muscle in my cheek began to tick. “There isn’t time.” I turned back to my truck, making quick work of grabbing my pack and checking the gun at my hip. I was ready.

  I glanced over at Walker to see him tightening the straps of his own pack. “Let’s go.” I inclined my head towards the trail.

  We began walking in total silence. I took the lead, my gaze constantly scanning, looking for any signs that someone had ventured off the trail. There was nothing.

  “Walk me through the plan.”

  My eyes continued scanning. I fought the urge to move quicker, but I couldn’t afford to miss a single sign. “First, we hit the first cabin. Then, we split up. I’ll head for the overhang.” I blew out a breath. “You know the signs to look for.”

  “I don’t have the gift you do. But I’m good, Tuck. I know what to look for.” There was frustration and just a touch of hurt in Walker’s tone.

  “Fuck. I’m sorry, man. I know you got this.” I paused in my progress, crouching to examine a broken branch and check for footprints off the trail. Nothing. I kept going.

  “No apology needed. We’re both fucking stressed.”

  Understatement of the century. The forest thinned a bit as we reached the cabin. I unholstered my gun as I caught sight of a truck parked outside.

  Walker and I worked in silence, needing only a few hand gestures to communicate the plan. That was the thing about working with someone you’d known from birth, they knew the way you thought, how you would react, and they always had your back.

  We crept towards either side of the door. I gave a swift nod, and Walker kicked it in. “Sutter Lake PD. Oh, fuck.”

  There was a tearing sensation in my chest at the sight of all the pooling blood. No. Fucking no. Walker stepped to the side, and a body appeared. A male body. Not Jensen. It’s not Jensen.

  Walker quickly cleared the only other room, but I could do nothing but stand there, staring. It could’ve been Jensen. I shook myself from the fog. After a shot to the head, the man was unrecognizable.

  I strode back outside, quickly circling the cabin, looking for any signs of life. There was nothing. I made my way back to the truck to find Walker on his phone, calling in the license plate.

  Walker hit a button on the phone and shoved it back into his pack. “Tom Woodward.”

  My brow furrowed as I tried to place the name. “He works at Double J Ranch, right?”

  “He does. Was pretty outspoken about the mustangs, too.”

  I muttered a curse. “He’s not in this alone. Someone was with him, and that someone obviously doesn’t care much about the loss of human life.”

  Walker tapped the side of the sat phone. “I’m trying to get some additional information, and crime scene techs are on the way.”

  “Right now, it doesn’t matter who,” I growled. “It matters where. I’m heading for the overhang. You head for the other cabin. We can’t wait around here doing nothing.”

  “You’re right.” Walker stuffed the phone into his pack, then met my gaze. “Don’t get killed, okay?”

  I shot him a cocky grin. “Bullets have nothing on me.” I held his gaze for one second longer, then took off.

  I wasn’t following a marked trail, it was more a worn path that led to the edge of a ravine I’d be able to follow to the overhang. This land was like a second home, but there were still too many unfamiliar places. I needed to rely on landma
rks.

  My steps faltered, and I retreated a few paces. Crouched. Examined the underbrush. “Sonofabitch.” Lying on one of the brambles was a cluster of blue threads. The same shade as the sweater Jensen had been wearing earlier today.

  I pushed to my feet, fighting the urge to run. I kept my progress measured, my eyes scanning the space around me. Another cluster of threads. My girl was so fucking smart. She knew I’d come looking for her, and she was leaving me a trail.

  I pulled out my phone and dialed Walker. He answered on the second ring. “I’ve got signs of her.” I relayed my position.

  “I’m on my way. It’s gonna take me a bit, though.”

  I scanned the woods around me. “Move slow and be quiet as a mouse. They could be anywhere.”

  “Got it.”

  I hit the button to end the call, shoved the phone into my pack, and pulled my gun. My steps were steady and as quiet as I would be when tracking an animal. Except, this time, I followed a trail of blue threads.

  “I need a break. Please. My head.”

  I froze at the edge of the forest. Jensen. I’d never experienced anything like the relief I felt at hearing her voice. I wanted to charge forward, put a bullet between the eyes of whoever had done this. I stayed still, hidden under cover of the forest, the only option to hide as the trees melted away to a rocky ravine.

  “Fine.” The voice was so familiar. “I guess I’ll just have to send you over right here.”

  Jensen screamed, and I lunged.

  46

  Tuck

  The world slowed. Everything happened in heartbeats. One pulse of that life-controlling organ after another.

  Jensen. A gun to her head. A hand squeezing her neck as a man shuffled her back towards the ravine’s edge.

  One wrong move was all it would take to wipe her from this Earth. All I could think about was how I had wasted so much time. So much damn time listening to my father’s lies, letting them color my life. Allowing them to steal my shot at happiness.