by Prenisha Aja
Contents
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Synopsis
Prologue
1. Brynlee Millz
2. Troy Venson
3. Brynlee Millz
4. Sawyer McKnight
5. Merci Wood
6. Sawyer
7. Brynlee
8. Kelia Sheldon
9. Merci
10. Brynlee
11. Troy
12. Kelia
13. Sawyer
14. Brynlee
15. Sawyer
16. Brynlee
17. Merci
18. Brynlee
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
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Published by Royalty Publishing House
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Any unauthorized reprint or use of the material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage without express permission by the author or publisher. This is an original work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Contains explicit language & adult themes suitable for ages 16+ only.
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Synopsis
Even though Brynlee is a hood girl at heart, getting out the hood has always been number one on her to-do list.
Now at the age of 25, she has done just that. Big house, dream job, and even engaged to her college boyfriend. She has it all, but the questions she finds herself wondering are, am I complete? Am I truly happy?
After getting into it with her fiancé Troy, about the one thing she desires so desperately, she decides that it is time to let her hair down and escape reality for a while. But what she isn’t prepared for is the person she finds herself bumping into.
Sawyer McKnight, the neighborhood’s bad boy, is now the hood’s hottest rapper. He went from the slums to the mansion. From no money to more than he can count but still, he is missing someone to share it with.
In this love tale, you have two people from the same background but different walks of life.
Can the two be what the other truly needs, or will they just settle for what they’re already used to?
This book is dedicated to everyone who is continuously supporting me through this amazing journey. I still can’t believe that I’m a published author.
Also, to my friends (Hydiea, Vee, and Kaa), thank you for the extra push. Every last one of y’all are bomb and it’s only up from here.
And last but not least, my mother, Regina, who is book crazy. She has supported every one of my releases and I am forever grateful. She goes above and beyond to push my books to others. Thank you, Mommy. I love you.
-Thank you, God, for it all. Without you I would be nothing.
Prologue
Brynlee Millz
“Oh my god, please don’t let this be happening to me again,” I cried as I closed my eyes tightly as I let the tears run down my cheeks. I was clutching my stomach tightly as the pain began to ripple throughout my stomach, like a wave that was caused by a terrible storm brewing.
The cramps that I was feeling were close to bringing me to my knees as I held on to the wall for dear life.
This nightmare that I kept having more times than I would like, was one that no woman should have to go through, especially not as many times as I had. This was torture and I was beginning to hate my body for not allowing me to carry a child.
No, this wasn’t my first rodeo, but I prayed to God that it was my last. Well before this one, I prayed that I’d never have to endure such a pain and heartache, but here I was again. The pain of knowing that the life inside of me that once had a heartbeat was most likely no longer beating, caused my throat to get tight and for my saliva to thicken.
Sadly, this was my fourth miscarriage, which was how I knew exactly what was going on with my body; however, that didn’t make it any less painful. If anything, it hurt more, it caused more anger and more resentment. It caused me to be hateful towards the people that were being blessed, and I didn’t like that.
So many times I racked my brain trying to come up with what I had done in my past for God to keep delivering me this type of karma, but I couldn’t think of nothing. I wasn’t out here cheating on my fiancé, I wasn’t robbing, being evil or hateful towards anyone. So why…
Sighing, I held on to the wall for dear life as I thought about how far along I was. This had to be some type of punishment because with each pregnancy, I would get further and further and then bam…I would bleed to death.
“Ahh,” I screamed so loudly that the doors shuttered as I clenched my teeth together and almost hit the floor.
Staggering, I began to feel pressure as if I needed to go to the bathroom.
“Please no,” I whimpered as I felt a warm sensation trickle out of me, which began to come out faster the longer it took me to reach the bathroom.
“It’s happening,” I whined as I inhaled and closed my eyes, trying not to collapse and just give up on everything, including my life.
Here I was eight weeks pregnant. I was getting excited because I felt like this was going to be my one time to experience pregnancy. I also was just getting ready to announce to my family and Troy’s family because I felt like I made it over a hump, a milestone, and that I could finally relax.
I had gone through so much just to get to this point and to have a safe pregnancy. I mean, I changed my eating habits, I went to the doctors for multiple tests over and over, racking up medical bills. I even lessened the number of hours I worked, when Lord knows I loved my job. It was what brought me peace and happiness inside a world that was chaotic and black. I had been hard on myself all because I knew I couldn’t afford to do extra shit, and so I didn’t. The baby’s health was so important to me and I did everything I felt like I should in order for it be a good pregnancy, but sadly, God said otherwise.
Finally making it all the way into the bathroom, I pulled my tights and underwear down to see them filled with dark red blood that was the color of maroon and black mixed together. It was always a scary sight to see, followed by the pain that would bring you down your knees praying to the very God that was snatching the life out of you.
How could I not question God? How could I not wonder what was it about me that he didn’t seem worthy enough in order to bless me with a child? What
was it about little ole’ me…
I felt like I would have been the perfect mother just like my mother. Janice was the best and she made sure I had the best. Due to the fact that I was the only child, I was spoiled rotten and I had every intention on being the same way with my child.
It was just so hard to understand certain things when I had good intentions, when I knew that I would be the best mom I could be, and that Troy would make an amazing father. However, there were people like my cousin Roshonda who never took care of her kids. All she did was drop them off at her mother’s house and leave them there for weeks.
“God, please…please.” I was pulled out of my thoughts when a cramp hit me so hard that I choked.
Coughing hysterically, I finally was able to control it then stop all together. Sobbing, I placed my head in my hands and cried so hard that my shoulders bounced up and down and my chest caved in from shortness of breath.
Fuck. I bit down on my lip as I rubbed my side. The cramps were now hurting so bad, that I had to call someone to get me. I needed 911 or for my fiancé to get here asap.
“What the fuck Brynlee. Fuck! Come on baby, let’s get you to the emergency room.” Troy had finally arrived, but I was out of it.
“Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I cried as my eyes fluttered open and closed. I watched him as he cleaned me up a little and changed me into something different so that we could leave and have them tell us both what we had heard too many times too fucking many.
1
Brynlee Millz
One year later…
“Congrats on your promotion,” Susan congratulated me as she walked closer over to where I stood, dressed in her floor-length, white dress that adorned a slit on the side, as her long blonde locks flowed a little past her shoulders.
“Thank you.” I nodded my head as I sipped my glass of wine.
It was about ten minutes before it would be announced in front of everyone and Troy, my fiancé, had yet to make his presence known.
Despite what met the eyes of others, things between the two of us had been rocky for about a year now. The spark we once had for each other was gone. The butterflies I felt had long ago died and my stomach now felt empty when we were around each other.
I guess there were just some things we couldn’t get past no matter how much we tried to pretend and push. I mean, how could I blame him? I was angry and so was he. We were always at each other’s throats way more than we actually showed love for one another. It really did suck, because we once really did love each other.
Nevertheless, I didn’t think either of us was trying to put our anger to the side in order to make things better. I felt like it was just easier on the both of us to just point the blame so it would be all on us. So that we would have to blame ourselves, so we would just pick about each other.
There he goes. I wrinkled up my face in annoyance as I downed the rest of the wine. Susan was still talking but I had tuned her out a long time ago. Leaving her to converse with herself, I headed over to where Troy awkwardly stood with his hands in the pockets of his pants as he scanned the room, already looking like he was ready to go.
Lord knows, I should have been proud of this promotion. I had worked my ass off to get it but right now, my life was upside down and I didn’t know when it would become normal again.
“Nice of you to finally join us,” I discreetly told Troy, with a big ass smile on my face. It was all a façade because I knew all eyes were on me and him.
What I really wanted to do and say, was point my finger upside his head and ask him why the fuck was he late to an event that he knew was important to me.
Whenever he wanted me to attend them bullshit ass games that he coached, I was right by his side, being supportive all while cheering and screaming for his team to win.
“My bad man,” he replied as if I annoyed him because he was late. I also didn’t ignore how he couldn’t even make eye contact with me. His breath reeked of liquor and all I could do was shake my head as I ran my hands over his wrinkled suit. I also adjusted the blue tie that matched the blue, strapless dress that I was wearing.
I swear it was so hard to keep this faking and fronting going on. I swear. I was two seconds away from saying fuck it and running up out of here. This shit was embarrassing, and I knew that it would be so hard for me to hide the fact that I wasn’t pleased with him whatsoever.
I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly as I gathered my thoughts. Releasing all of the ill feelings I had at the moment, I grabbed his hand and we made our way to our seats that had my name and his displayed on a name plate.
As we walked, I waved at everyone, making sure to give them a big bright smile, even though on the inside, I was feeling the complete opposite.
Right as we sat down, my boss Lina caught my eye. She was making her way up on the stage with her husband right by her side. I swear they were so picture perfect. They had the big ass house, several successful businesses, three beautiful mixed kids and I loved how they respected each other.
See Lina was Black and yes, she made more money than her husband Mark, who was Caucasian, but if you ever met him, you would have sworn he was raised by a black family. Nothing about that man was white, expect for the color of his skin. Not like that mattered, because love didn’t care about color. When you felt it, you felt it, and it showed with those two. It was so beautiful to see how he let her shine, and it had me side-eyeing the man that I chose to say yes to.
I mean where did I go wrong? Then on top of it, I couldn’t have his child. One thing that I knew that he wanted. Yes, I felt like the success was there for the both of us. He was coach/math teacher at the university here in New York and I was a journalist but not one that wrote news articles for tragic events that happened in the world. I was the one who blogged about the celebrity tea and so forth. Don’t get me wrong, I started out doing the boring thing, like writing news articles about things that had happened in the city, but I became better. I started researching more, getting the tea before it spilt over and my boss loved that about me, and most times what I spit was straight facts. Why? Because I did thorough research, which was why I was getting the promotion.
“Hello everyone.” Lina nodded her head and showed off her award-winning smile as her husband Mark stood behind her, allowing her to have the spotlight.
“Thank you all for coming tonight. I really do appreciate each and everyone one of you for coming to my over the top employee appreciation gatherings.” She chuckled followed by the rest of the room.
Lina had always been over the top. Hell, her magazine company was over the top and the way she dressed screamed, “Hello, it’s me, Lina, bitches.”
“Well tonight, as y’all know, I like to give out employee of the month and promotions. I also love seeing my workers strive to bring the hottest tea ever and a lot of you deliver. However, tonight I would like to present Brynlee Millz with journalist of the month and also to say congratulations on her upcoming promotion. She is in charge of one of the hottest markets right now which is hot topics. As you all know, we all love the latest celebrity scandal and there is no one I would rather have in charge of that but her,” she finished as her husband pulled a gold plaque from behind his back as everyone began to clap and cheer for me.
I stood to my feet and mouthed thank you to everyone. I reached for Troy’s hand so that he would walk up there with me and share this big move with me, but of course that just couldn’t be how this moment went.
Instead, he shook his head no and I was floored, but I couldn’t react how I wanted to. Instead, I gave him a simple head nod, followed by a smile and went up there by myself as I held the side of the long dress, so I wouldn’t trip over it.
After giving my speech, I was escorted off of the stage and greeted by nothing but smiling faces. I went back and had my seat next to Troy, who was locked into his phone. I couldn’t get a smile, a congratulations, not even a pat on the fucking back.
“Is everything ok?” I qu
estioned him, concerned because of the way he was typing really fast and wasn’t a bit concerned about what I had going on.
“Yeah, everything is good. But hey, can we go now? I’m tired.” He looked at me as he tucked his phone in the inside of his jacket pocket then adjusted his jacket.
“Uhmm, I guess. Let me just go tell my boss bye and stuff.” I placed my hand down on the table aggressively, causing the wine glasses to rattle a little as I jolted up and stormed away from him.
I was so upset with Troy and the moment we got to our house, I was ripping his head off. Giving it to him straight with no chaser because he was so wrong how he ruined this moment by being selfish and inconsiderate.
“What the fuck was that about?” I questioned as I got out of the silver, six-inch Chanel heels and tossed them on the floor.
“What was what about?” he played dumb, as if he had no clue what I was talking about. Like he didn’t know he had rubbed me the wrong way the moment he decided to be late to an event that was basically for me.