by Prenisha Aja
I never realized how much I needed this shit until now. Having Brynlee in here, cooking breakfast in my shirt made me want to wake up to this type of shit every day.
“I hope you didn’t mind, but I washed my wet clothes and yours too,” she let me know.
“Word, I usually have this lil’ housekeeper come over and do that shit,” I explained.
I had this lil’ chick named Nikki come to my crib every Wednesday to clean up my house, wash my shit and make sure I had groceries in this bitch.
She was cute as fuck too and I couldn’t lie, I had knocked her down a few times.
“Well, less work for her,” Brynlee replied.
Brynlee was now done cooking breakfast and my ass had been looking like some type of stalker the way I watched her the whole time.
She was now fixing our plates and I walked off to go sit at the glass table that could sit about six people.
“Here you go.” She sat my plate down, along with my drink.
She then sat down and right when I was about to dig in, she cleared her throat and reached out for my hand.
“My bad.” I chuckled.
Lowkey, a nigga was embarrassed but I played it off and tangled my fingers into hers as she closed her eyes and began to pray over our food.
Once she was done, we both dug into the food. She had cooked eggs, pancakes, sausage and grits. The shit was a hit and I couldn’t slow down.
“So why are you single Mr. Sawyer?” she looked up from her plate and asked.
“Same reason why you are.” I raised a brow as I bit down on the sausage.
“Doubt it.”
“I’m single because God knows that my wife is still out here trying to find and heal herself.”
“What if she needs you to help her heal, to patch her wounds, to water her with powerful and uplifting words to help her grow,” she questioned, and her words stuck to me.
They hit me because what if that’s what God needed me to do? What if she was the person I needed to be there for?
“Then I’m ready. Ten toes down,” I replied, as my phone went off.
Brynlee smiled at my reply and went back to eating her breakfast. I smirked then answered my ringing phone.
“Hey Daddy, can we go to the water park today?” my son beamed on the phone.
His face was halfway showing because he had yet to learn how to hold the phone right when we were on FaceTime.
“Yeah my dude, how about we go later today?” I offered, and he began to squeal.
“Calm down boy,” I heard my mother say to Sai’von.
“You got his ass all hyper and shit. You better be coming soon,” she said into the phone.
“Let me finish eating breakfast and I’ll be on my way.”
“Who cooked for you? Because I know yo’ ass didn’t.” My mom peeked more into the phone as if that would help her to see more into my house.
“Mind ya business Ma. I’ll be over there in a few.”
I then hung up the phone and focused back on Brynlee.
“You down to spend the day with me and my son?” I asked her, and she looked at me for a second before answering.
“Am I going to have to fight his mama? I might’ve left the hood, but I will beat a bitch up if I have to,” she stated, causing me to laugh.
“Stick to the good girl role. Leave the hood shit in yo’ past.” I chuckled. “But nah, everything should be good!” I let her know.
I got up, grabbed both of our plates and placed them in the sink. Brynlee followed behind me as I made my way up the stairs so that I could get dressed and head out so that I could spend the day with my son.
“I have to stop by my house and change,” she informed me as I pulled out a pair of grey Adidas shorts and a matching grey shirt.
“Nah, we can go buy you something,” I let her know.
Brynlee stood before me with her arms crossed and her lips twisted. “Why you gotta be doing all that, when I can just go to my house and find something to wear?”
“Because I can, and I want to. Now if you don’t mind, let me run this shit.”
I guess my words must’ve struck a nerve because Brynlee rolled her eyes then sat down on my bed with a slight attitude. I chuckled and shrugged it off.
“Oh wow, have you seen what they have been saying about you?” Brynlee leapt up from bed as if she had fire underneath her ass and shoved her phone into my face.
“Yeah, I know. What do you want me to do about it? It ain’t true.” I shrugged it off.
I didn’t know what she wanted me to do about what everyone was labeling me as. All through the headlines I was labeled a bad boy, thug, gangsta, basically all things that weren’t good for my image, but half the shit they were saying wasn’t even true. They were acting like I was some hoodlum in the streets beating people’s asses for the fuck off it. They were portraying me as someone who should be feared.
“This the type of shit y’all do, right? Take shit and run with it, not knowing if it’s really that deep. You tell me what I need to do to fix it.” I turned towards her.
She was looking at her phone with her mouth agape, I guess shocked at what all they were saying.
“I never thought about it like that. Being around you, I know this isn’t all the way true. They are trying to tear you down.” She skimmed over the article that was on her Facebook newsfeed.
“When do they ever have something nice to say?” I added.
All Brynlee could do was shake her head and continue to read the shit that they were posting about a nigga. I truly didn’t give a fuck.
A few hours later…
Brynlee and I were finally pulling up to my mother’s crib to pick up my son. I had gotten her this house with my first big check. It wasn’t nothing too big, but it was a total upgrade from the one that she had in the hood and both of my parents loved it, so I was happy.
“I’ll stay out here while you go in there,” she said shyly.
I ignored her, got out of the car and walked around to her side and opened the door. “Get out.”
“Why? I can just sit in here until you come out,” she whined, so I grabbed her arm gently and began to pull her out of the car.
“Come on man, my mom cool as fuck and plus, she needs to meet the girl that’s gon’ be my future.” I chuckled.
My words had caused Brynlee to stop in her tracks and look stunned. Yeah, I was just talking shit but real talk, I could see her in my future. However, I knew she had other shit going on so all I could do was play my cards right.
“Girl come on and stop acting like that shit don’t sound good to you.” I waved for her to come on.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” She smirked as she caught up to me.
Reaching for her hand, I grabbed it as we made our way to the front door.
“Those faces you were making told me otherwise,” I whispered in her ear, and her face turned bright red causing her to bury her face into her hands.
Chuckling, I kissed her behind her ear before I made my way inside of my parents’ home.
“Ma. Pa,” I yelled out as the sound of my voice echoed down the long hallway.
No one answered but the sound of galloping footsteps could be heard getting louder and louder the closer my son got to me.
I knew it was him. He was able to run, bounce a ball in the house and hop all over my mother’s furniture. The same shit that would have gotten my ass beat from one end of the house to the other but with my mother and father, they allowed Sai’ to do whatever he wanted to do.
“Daddy,” his voice escalated as he ran full speed towards me.
I swear he was the spitting image of me, and I loved it. I wanted to raise him to be better than me and to give him the life that I never was able to get. Don’t get me wrong, my parents did what they could for me, but it wasn’t enough. Especially being a young nigga in a hood that was full of niggas bragging about what they had and wanting it too.
“Hey my boy. You been good for Grandma
and Grandpa?” I asked him, and he bashfully looked down as he thought about my question.
That right there let me know that his ass was most likely bad and had been getting in trouble.
“Sai’, were you good or bad?” I asked him again.
“Bad as hell, but it’s ok. He ain’t no worse than what you were.” My pops emerged from around the corner.
He was tall, just like me. I knew that was where I got my height from because my mother was a lil’ short something but feisty. I knew she was the reason for my hot head because back in the day, she stayed ready to bust a bitch across the head if she felt disrespected.
“What’s up Pops.” I walked over to him and embraced him with a hug, squeezing Sai’ in the middle of us.
“Uh uh, I wasn’t bad Papa,” Sai’ butted in.
“You callin’ me a lie boy? Let me take off my damn belt.” My father pretended like he was about to take off his belt.
Sai’ quickly tried to escape my arms so that he could run to my mother, the person who saved him from getting many ass whoopings that I knew his lil’ bad ass deserved.
Jumping out of my arms, Sai’ took off running back down the hallway which caused us all to burst out laughing.
“So, son, who is this right here?” My father peeked over his reading glasses as he eyed Brynlee who was acting shy, like she didn’t have a smart-ass mouth and bad attitude.
“This is Brynlee, my friend.” I looked in her direction, grabbed her hand and pulled her forward.
“Hey, how are you?” She extended her hand and my father bypassed the friendly gesture and pulled her in for a hug.
“Welcome to the family baby girl. My name is Sheldon.” He pulled away from her.
“Oh son, yeah, you found you a winner.” My dad winked at me and all I could do was shake my head.
My father was a fucking trip, and he knew that shit.
“What the hell y’all out here doing to my grandson?” my mother fussed as she came from the back carrying Sai, as if he was a newborn baby.
“Ma, put his big ass down,” I fussed at her, but she rolled her eyes at me and focused on Brynlee.
“Now who is this?” My mother looked Brynlee up and down.
This was really the moment of truth. My mother was a woman who could pick someone apart by just one look at them. She used to always tell me that she didn’t like Kelia, but I never paid her no mind but after Kelia and I didn’t work, I had to let my mother know she was right about her.
Shit, still to this day, my mother didn’t like Kelia. But due to the fact me and her had a son together, my mother would be cordial; however, she always found a way to let her know she wasn’t too fond of her.
“Hello, I’m Brynlee. Sawyer’s friend.” She walked closer to my mother with her hand out to give her a handshake.
My mother was now laughing as she looked from me then back to Brynlee. “Oh yeah, you the one,” she added as she placed Sai’ down and hugged Brynlee.
“Huh?” Brynlee asked in confusion, but I knew exactly what my mother meant. She knew me better than I knew myself.
“Don’t worry about it. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing more of you.” She winked as she hugged Brynlee tightly.
Smiling at her crazy ass, I broke up this meet and greet. “Alright, it’s time for us to go. I’ll holla at y’all later.”
“Alright son, and Brynlee, don’t be a stranger baby girl,” my father said before he walked away.
“Bye and y’all have fun,” my mother added.
“Alright, bye y’all.” I grabbed Sai’von’s hand and Brynlee’s hand and guided them towards the door.
“Bye, nice meeting y’all.” Brynlee waved goodbye as we headed out of the door and to my car.
16
Brynlee
As I sat on the steps that descended into the huge pool, I twirled my feet in the water as I enjoyed my view.
Seeing Sawyer interacting with his son was the sexiest shit ever. He was an amazing father and it was crazy that we journalists never captured the good in people. We were always trying to get the tea on the latest drama and post it for the world to see.
It kind of made me look at my career choice differently. It made me think about all the wrong shit I had said about someone.
Sighing, I smiled as I watched Sawyer throw Sai’ up in the air and allowed him to fall into the pool, splashing water everywhere. Sai’ was full of laughter and his smile was as bright as the sun. He was a cute little boy and he looked just like his father. They both had those honey brown eyes and the exact same noses and brown skin. I could tell that he was also going to be tall just like his father.
As I continued to watch them, sadness crept over me like an airborne virus and just as fast as I was happy, I was now sad. My heart was aching because I so desperately wanted that to be me.
I wanted to be sitting here and actually watching my husband interact with our child but the way that my luck was set up when it came to having kids, I just didn’t think it was happening anytime soon. Shit, if ever.
“Brynlee, watch this,” Sai’,” called out to me, pulling me out of my depressing thoughts.
I smiled at him and threw him a thumbs up as I watched him grab his cute little nose and go under water and not even two seconds later coming up, out of breath like he had been down there for minutes.
“Yay. Good job.” I clapped my hands and cheered for him.
“Oh my god. Is that your son? He is just the cutest little thing,” a thick lady who was way older than me stopped and asked as she waved playfully at Sai’.
“No ma’am but he is the cutest little thing.” I forced a smile.
Her asking that question struck a nerve. One that had me ready to go. To me that was always a sensitive matter, even when others didn’t mean any harm by it. And it wasn’t that I had something against his son. That would never be me because if Sawyer and I worked out, I would love his son as if he was my own, but there still wouldn’t be anything like the love of or loving your own child.
Sawyer looked in my direction and I guess he picked up off of my body language. He grabbed Sai’ and began to walk in my direction. The lady who had asked me the question was now gone, but I was still messed up in the head from her presence.
Sitting Sai’ down a few steps above me, Sawyer came down to where I was, made his way in between my legs and cupped my chin.
“What’s wrong? I don’t like this pouty face you got going on. You ready to go?” He looked into my eyes as the sun hit his making them look lighter than they normally were.
“I’m ok. Y’all have a good time. Enjoy your time with your son.” I faked a smile, but Sawyer wasn’t buying my words.
I knew the pain was etched in my voice no matter how big of a smile graced my face.
“Brynlee, stop the fuck shit. Tell a nigga what’s up. Why yo’ mood change that fast?” he questioned.
I sighed deeply, looked over my shoulder then thought on the words that I wanted to say.
“I was just in my feelings. That’s all. Watching you with your son, just had me wondering why I can’t get to experience that joy,” I confessed.
Sawyer stood there and no words came out of his mouth. Instead, he just looked at me intensely. He had me nervous. I felt like I might have said the wrong thing or offended him by what I said.
“What?” I huffed.
“Just thanking God for this blessing. Now if you want a baby, just say that shit. Next time I dig in them guts, I’ll make sure to bless you with my little girl.” He smirked.
He then kissed me on the lips causing whatever sadness that had plagued me to disappear into thin air as if his kiss alone was the cure.
“You’re crazy, you know that.” I laughed as I shook my head.
“You have no idea.” He chuckled as he grabbed my hand and helped me up.
He then grabbed Sai’ up and we left the water park as if we were one. Even though he and I weren’t even a thing yet, he brought me this comfort th
at I hadn’t felt in a long time.
As we walked out of the water park and to the car as one big family, all you could hear was Sai’ expressing how much fun he had and that he wanted to come back again.
We were now in the car and headed to take me home and then his son back to his mother’s house because he had to be at a meeting early in the morning, and I had to go in for an interview. I had received the email invite about twenty minutes ago and as crazy as it seemed, it didn’t excite me as much as I thought it would.
As we drove to his mother’s house, the music played softly and we just vibed out in the car together.
The ringing of Sawyer’s phone cut the music short because it was hooked up via Bluetooth. Seeing his baby mama’s name appear on the screen caused me to roll my eyes but not say nothing at all.
Sawyer looked at me before he answered and spoke lowly, “It’s not what you think. I’m pretty sure she just wants to talk to Sai’,” he explained, and I nodded my head to let him know I understood.
I couldn’t expect him to not have any communication with her, because they shared a child. I just knew she didn’t like me from the last time I saw her at the club, so of course seeing her name or anything that had to do with her caused tension.
“Here Sai’,” Sawyer answered the phone, but he didn’t speak. Instead he handed the phone right to his son, who was sitting in his car seat, locked into his tablet.
“Hey mama’s boy,” Kelia said to him.
“Hey Mama. Guess what?” Sai’’s voice sounded so happy as he let those words leave his mouth.
“What is it?” she asked him.
“Me, Daddy, and Bryn went to the water park and it was so much fun. Mama, it was so fun,” he squealed in excitement. “Mama,” he called for her, and I could hear her clearing her throat.
There was this gut feeling in my stomach telling that she was about to act a damn fool.
“That’s great. Let Mommy talk to your daddy, ok?” she dryly asked of him, and I rolled my eyes.
See this was the thing I didn’t know if I could get past. The whole baby mama drama didn’t sound too appeasing to me and from the looks of it, she was going to bring a lot of it.