Just One Kiss: A heartwarming Christmas romance (Whisper Lake Book 4)

by Barbara Freethy

  "Is Tiger in heaven?" Brett asked.

  "He is," Hannah admitted.

  "Stormy is in heaven, too." Brett said. "He's with my dad. Mommy says they can still see us. Daddy knows when I'm being good. He's proud of me."

  Hannah gave her nephew a sweet, tender smile. "I'm sure he's always proud of you, honey."

  "He liked me a lot," Brett added. His expression shifted. "Russ liked me a lot, too."

  Hannah stiffened, shooting him a quick look.

  He was as surprised by Brett's comment as she was. From what they'd learned about Kelly's boyfriend, Russ, it didn't seem like he was a good guy or a man who would like children.

  "He said he'd always protect me and Mommy," Brett continued. "We didn't have to be afraid. He would take care of us."

  "Do you know where Russ is?" Hannah asked carefully.

  "He's camping. He's going to catch a big fish. Mommy said he had to stay and wait for the fish to come. I wanted to wait with him, but she said we couldn't." He paused. "Can we turn the lights on now?"

  "We're just about there," Hannah said. "We need to put some ornaments on the top of the tree first."

  Jake jumped to his feet. "That's my cue." For the next few minutes, he filled out the tip-top of the tree while Hannah worked on the middle, and Brett gave them suggestions on where to put the ornaments. They ended their decorating when he placed a beautiful angel on top of the highest branch. "Now we're done," he said. "Hannah, do you want to do the honors?"

  "They're your lights. Go for it. But wait—let me turn off the lights in the room."

  As Hannah darkened the room, he hit the switch and the tree lit up. Brett's expression of amazement made Jake's heart flip over in his chest. They'd created a magical moment for this little boy, and in light of everything going on in his life, that was a very good thing.

  "Is Santa coming tonight?" Brett asked.

  Hannah shook her head. "He won't be here for two more days."

  "I hope Santa brings me my present."

  "Do you want to tell me what you asked him for?" Hannah asked.

  Brett shook his head. "It's a secret."

  "Sometimes Santa needs a little help with shopping, so maybe you could whisper it to me," she said.

  He thought about that suggestion. And then he motioned for her to lean over.

  His whisper was so loud that Jake could hear it across the room.

  "I want my mommy to come back," Brett said.

  Hannah put her arms around Brett. "So do I."

  "Will Santa bring her back?"

  "I think he'll do everything he can to make that happen," Hannah said. "But right now, it's time for you to go to bed."

  "Can Jake tell me a story?" Brett asked, looking in his direction.

  "Sure, I can do that," he said.

  Brett clapped his hands with delight.

  "Let's get you in your PJs," Hannah said.

  He followed them up the stairs, thinking this was how it would feel if he and Hannah were married, if they had a kid, if this was their Christmas as a family. The thought shook him to the core. This wasn't the kind of life he led. He was an adventurer, an explorer, a guy who liked to live on the edge and push himself to the limit. But he had to admit that he'd had more fun tonight than he'd had in a long time. And it wasn't over yet.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hannah listened to Jake's story of ships and pirates from the hallway, impressed with the animated impressions he put into his tale. He really brought the story to life. And Brett was loving every word of it.

  As Jake finished, Brett said, "Tell me another one."

  "Sorry, kid, you have to go to sleep now."

  "What are we going to do tomorrow?"

  "I'm sure Hannah has a lot of fun things planned for you."

  "I like Hannah, but I want my mommy."

  "I know you do."

  "Do you have a mommy?"

  "I do."

  "And a daddy, too?"

  "Yes," Jake said, tension immediately entering his voice.

  "You're lucky," Brett said. "I think Russ might want to be my daddy."

  "Would that be good?" Jake asked.

  "He can throw a baseball really far."

  "Well, that's a good skill to have."

  She felt incredibly emotional as she listened to their conversation. And once again, she was confused by Brett's affection for Russ. She was also worried about what would happen, how hurt he would be, when he found out Russ was not going to be part of the family.

  She headed downstairs, letting Jake finish up with Brett. He was really good with the little boy. She could trust him not to say anything that would hurt him. When she got back to the living room, she thought about turning on the lights in the room, but the tree was so pretty, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She needed a little Christmas magic, too.

  She sat down on the couch and stretched her legs out on the coffee table. It had been a crazy busy day. In fact, she felt like she'd been on a dead run since Friday, since Kelly had disappeared.

  She looked up as Jake made his way into the room. He flopped down on the couch next to her.

  "Kids are exhausting," he said.

  She gave him a smile. "It is amazing how much energy one little boy has and how much he needs the same energy from everyone around him. But it's not just Brett who has exhausted me. I can't stop thinking about Kelly and what Brett said about Russ."

  "He told me that he wants Russ to be to be his dad. He definitely liked the guy."

  "And he said Russ would protect them. But from who? Himself? That doesn't make sense."

  "Who knows what Brett really understands? He could have been confused or he's not remembering it right. He's a friendly little kid who likes everyone and believes everyone likes him. Look how quickly he's settled in with us and made friends with our friends. And he and your mother hit it off right away. They're best buddies now."

  "You have a point. I can't put much weight in anything Brett tells us. It's just frustrating not to know what's really going on. A man is dead, and my sister is out there somewhere, but I don't know where or what condition she is in."

  "I wish I could make it better, Hannah."

  She saw the sincerity in his eyes. "I wish you could, too. But we just have to wait—my least favorite thing to do." She let out a sigh, her gaze moving to the Christmas tree. "I have to admit that this beautifully lit tree is making me feel better."

  "The magic is working."

  "I wanted to do it for Brett, but it turns out I'm getting just as much out of it. Do you have a tree?"

  "No," he said with a little laugh. "I have no holiday decorations. But we have some in the store. Does that count?"

  "Maybe a little. I heard you live above your store. What's that like?"

  "It's a one-bedroom apartment with a great view of the mountains. It's perfect for me. I'm close to my business, which takes up a lot of my life."

  "It's great that you found a way to make money doing what you love. And you got to see the world, too. I don't remember you having so much wanderlust in your soul when we were in high school. Back then, it was all about sports, getting a college scholarship, and going pro."

  "Like a lot of high school athletes, my dreams were bigger than my talent."

  "You were pretty talented."

  "Is that a compliment?"

  She made a face at him. "They retired your number at the school, Jake. We both know you were a star athlete."

  "Well, it's not like Whisper Lake is a hotbed of athletic talent but thank you."

  "When did you start wanting to travel?"

  "College. I didn't know what I wanted to do for a major, so I started out in archaeology."

  She was surprised by his answer. She turned sideways on the couch, pulling her legs up under her so she could see him better. "Seriously? I would not have guessed that."

  "I liked the idea of digging for treasure. And that's on you."

  "How so?"

  "You gave me
that book to read—The Lost City of Valmoor. The hero was an archaeologist, and he stumbled onto an underground city that been buried after a tsunami."

  A smile spread across her face. "I loved that story."

  "Yes. You talked about it nonstop, and you made me read the book. It was actually the first piece of fiction I had read since I was about eight years old that wasn't assigned by a teacher. And then I had to read the second book by that author, and the third and the fourth."

  "You kept reading after we stopped talking about books?" She was a little surprised by that. She'd thought Jake was just humoring her by agreeing to read some of her favorites.

  "Yes. I found I enjoyed the escape. What I didn't enjoy were the actual classes in archaeology that one had to take in order to have those adventures."

  "Real life is not always like the books."

  "Definitely not. I switched to business my junior year, but those archaeology classes left me with a desire to see more of the world. I studied abroad the summer between junior and senior year, and after I graduated, I hit the road. I stayed in hostels, in campgrounds, and on couches. I met a lot of incredible people."

  She felt a wistful sense of yearning that she hadn't been a part of those adventures. "It sounds amazing, Jake. You were lucky to have that freedom."

  "It wasn't just luck, Hannah. I worked a lot of jobs during college to save enough money to travel. While my parents were generous and paid for my education, I knew that anything beyond that was on me. Whatever I was going to do, I had to do my way."

  "You had your own vision," she murmured, thinking Jake had always been an independent thinker and someone who wanted to do more than anyone else, be better than average. He hadn't cared about school, about grades, the way she had; his dreams had always been bigger than that.

  "You had a clear vision, too. You always wanted to be in medicine. Is nursing what you thought it would be? Do you ever wish you'd become a doctor like you originally planned?"

  "Not anymore. Medical school was going to be too big of an ask for me. I didn't have the money. Plus, I had Tyler and my mom to worry about. Nursing was going to be faster and get me working more quickly. In the beginning, I felt some resentment, mostly toward my mom, but what else is new? I also didn't like it when the doctors ordered me around. But toward the end of my first year of nursing, I found a mentor, and she really showed me that I was focusing on the wrong things. She helped me see that what I was doing was really important. I'm with the patient far more than the doctor is. I'm holding their hand. I'm talking to them and to their families. I am a big part of their healing journey, and I'm the bridge between them and everything else in the healthcare system. Because I'm in the room, I can see small changes that might be missed. I can make a difference in whether someone recovers, or they don't. And it changed my whole way of thinking."

  He gave her a smile. "I can hear the passion in your voice."

  "I love what I do. And I have to admit that I love doing it in Whisper Lake. I wasn't sure I would when I came back, but it was a good decision. Because it's a small town, I get to be more involved in the diagnostics than I was before."

  "No regrets then?"

  She shook her head. "Nope. What about you? Are you sure Whisper Lake won't be too quiet for such a world traveler?"

  "I'll still travel but I don't need to wander the way I used to."

  "Why not?"

  "Because I don't feel the need to run anymore."

  "That's a curious statement. Why did you feel the need to run?"

  His gaze met hers. "A lot of reasons."

  "That answer is way too vague, Jake."

  He shrugged. "I'm not the best at self-analysis."

  "Give it a shot."

  He thought for a moment. "I hated what I did to you. It haunted me. And it was easier not to think about it when I was far away. I also liked having space from my father. Roaming the world, I could pretend he didn't exist."

  "That's kind of sad."

  "It wasn't sad; it was the right thing to do. I had to find myself, and I needed to do that completely on my own."

  There was an honesty in his answer that resonated deep within her. She felt like this was the Jake she'd fallen in love with, the one she could talk to for hours on end about anything. They'd had an emotional bond that had been just as powerful as the physical attraction. And it was all coming back to her now. That probably wasn't a good thing, but it felt good—at least for the moment.

  "It sounds like you did that," she said. "You figured out who you were and what you wanted."

  "Yes, but I'm still a work in progress."

  "Aren't we all?"

  As they shared a smile, she felt butterflies in her stomach, and a deep desire to reconnect with this man who had taken her heart so many years ago. She'd never really gotten it back, not all of it anyway. But as the air between them charged with tension, with expectation, she also felt uncertainty.

  "I can't remember who has the ball," she whispered.

  His gaze darkened. "Whoever wants it. Do you want it, Hannah?"

  That was a trick question. "I don't want to want it," she confessed. "I'd rather not feel anything. I'd rather there be icicles between us."

  "Too much heat for that. You've always gone after what you want."

  "So have you, Jake. Why aren't you doing that now?"

  "I don't want to risk pushing you too hard too fast."

  "Risk what?"

  "Us."

  She drew in a breath at the one simple and yet so complicated word. "There's no us."

  "There wasn't for a long time, but that could change. I want it to change."

  She ran a hand through her hair, conflict running through her mind. "I don't know what to do. Three days ago, I couldn't stand you. Now I want to make out with you."

  A grin curved his sexy mouth. "Then let's stop talking and do that."

  "It's not smart."

  "Blame it on the mistletoe." He put his hand behind her neck and gently pulled her forward.

  "There's no mistletoe."

  "In my mind, it's right over our heads. There's nothing to do but kiss…" He leaned in, and her stomach clenched with desire.

  It seemed to take forever for his mouth to find hers, but then it was an instant explosion of heat. Jake had always been a good kisser. Even when they were young and fumbling through their first sexual experience, the way he kissed had set her body on fire. It was no different now. Actually, it was different; it was better.

  Jake's kiss went from exploring and sensual to hard and demanding, and she liked feeling his impatient need for her. She opened her mouth, taking him in, their tongues tangling in a desperate need to get closer.

  She ran her hands up under his sweater, loving the feel of those hard muscles against her fingers. She wanted to see him. She wanted to touch and taste him in every possible way. She wanted to go back to where they'd once been. She wanted to feel that impossibly close connection.

  But all those needs made her feel like she was on a runaway train, with an inevitable crash coming up around the next bend.

  A voice inside her head screamed caution. This was Jake, a man who could turn her on like no other. But this was also Jake, the man who had shattered her heart.

  How could she trust him not to do it again?

  She finally found the strength to push him away, to slide down the couch and put space between them, to catch her breath and try to think. But it wasn't easy with the blood rushing through her veins and an aching desire in her body.

  Jake gazed back at her with glittering lights of gold in his brown eyes, his breath coming hard and fast. But he didn't say anything, and she couldn't find any words.

  The silence stretched out between them like a taut wire. She had to break it. "You should go home, Jake."

  "I pushed too hard."

  "No, you didn't." She couldn't put it on him. He had a lot of blame to carry in their story, but this time was on her. "I wanted you to kiss me. I still do."<
br />
  "Then why did we stop?"

  "Because it's too fast. I still want you, but I don't know what comes after the wanting, and that scares me."

  "Then we'll slow it down."

  "I don't know what it is, Jake. I don't know what you want from me, and more importantly, I don't know what I want from you."

  "I can answer the first question. I want you back," he said bluntly.

  Her heart skipped a beat. "We had our chance. You could have had me before, and you walked away."

  "I was seventeen. I wish you could trust me again."

  "I wish I could, too, but I don't know how to get there. It would probably take a miracle."

  "Well, it is the season for miracles." He got to his feet. "I'll go, Hannah, but I'm not giving up."

  "You should. I'm not big on second chances. My mother could tell you that."

  "She already did. But some people, some relationships, are worth fighting for."

  She stood up. "I'm not convinced of that. I think some relationships have their season, and that's it. They expire. They're done. You can't recreate them."

  "Well, I disagree, and I like challenges."

  "Is that what this is about? A challenge to get me back just to prove you can?"

  "No. It's about you and me, how good we once were, and how good we could be again. I don't just want to have sex with you, Hannah, although I do want that."

  Her cheeks filled with heat at his direct statement.

  "But I want a lot more," he said. "I want the girl who laughed with me, who challenged me to read books and look at the world in a different way. I want the girl I could talk to all night long, the one I could say anything to, and she could say anything to me. I want the connection we had. The one where everything felt exactly right. I've never felt that with anyone else."

  Her body sang at words that were both beautiful and terrifying. She'd never felt that with anyone else, either.

  "I want your heart," he said.

  "You already broke it," she whispered.

  "Give me a chance to put it back together. Just a chance, Hannah. Let's start with that."

  She honestly didn't know what to say.

  "Just think about it," he said, and then he left.