Let Me Love You: A Novel

by Praks, Wanitta

  “Small world, bro. Who would have thought the girl you kissed would end up being your algebra tutor?” Kai bumps me on the shoulder. “Does she know you’re her hot, mysterious Phantom?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you guys talked about it, then?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s embarrassing. Let’s just leave this subject. Okay?”

  “Come on, just give me a little inside detail?”

  Doesn’t this bastard know when to shut up?

  “I said move on to the next subject, capisce?”

  “Whatever, but why are you staring at them anyway?”

  “I’m trying to petition for my right as a student.”

  “Because?’

  “I’ve been neglected.”

  “So?”

  “It’s not just so, Kai? It’s about standing my ground and knowing what’s right.”

  How can he not know about student rights? It’s mandatory. Every student has a right, just like citizens who live in our country.

  “You can’t go and get a job and then neglect it after two sessions. It isn’t right,” I tell Kai, my eyes still fixed on Ivy and four-eyed Sam.

  “Hey, Zac, I understand how you feel, but the only ground I’m standing on right now is my stomach. I’m hungry like hell, bro, so let’s just get out of here.”

  I don’t listen to Kai. My eyes are too absorbed by Ivy.

  “Look at her. She’s so into four-eyed Sam that she doesn’t even notice I’m still sitting here staring at her.”

  “Zac, you’re talking to yourself.”

  “Huh?”

  Kai gives me a weird stare.

  Why is everyone giving me weird stares today?

  When she finally looks up again, I catch her eyes and wiggle my eyebrow once, signaling to her that I win round one. She only shakes her head and twists her seat to the side so her back is now facing me.

  Damn!

  “Zac? Hey, Zac? Are you even on Earth right now? Zac, bro, if I wasn’t that close to you, I would think you have a heavy crush on her.”

  The word “crush” gets my attention. I twist my head so fast to glare at Kai that I almost pull my neck muscles in the process.

  I can’t have Kai knowing I like Ivy. Well, not yet anyway. Not when I’m not even sure myself. Who knows? This might be just a baby crush. So I lie to him.

  “I don’t have a crush on her. It’s merely principle.”

  “Still, I think your principle lies with Elsa or your band, not algebra.”

  “Whatever.”

  Conversation over. Back to my staring contest.

  Knowing he can’t get my ass off the seat, Kai finally relents.

  I know he’s waiting for me to flush my so-called principle out of my system. He knows I never last long in anything. I have a short attention span, so he’s waiting for that ultimate moment when I give up. But he’s clearly mistaken. Today, I’m in for the long haul. I’m not going anywhere until Ivy decides to give up teaching that four-eyed goofball and come back to the handsome me.

  After five minutes of Kai sitting down like a good monk, he starts reacting like he’s allergic to seafood. Not that he’s allergic to seafood; that’s just my comparison. He jumps up and down in his chair like a monkey whose ass needs scratching. He fidgets and twitches. Then finally, he smacks me on the shoulder when I don’t give him my attention.

  “That’s enough. I can’t take this anymore. I’m not a stone, bro. I need activity. Or else my brain cells will die.”

  “Bro, your brain cells have already died, so stop complaining and sit back down. We can’t make too much noise here,” I warn.

  There’s no telling what these librarian ladies are capable of. They may look nice, but they can turn nasty in a split second if you don’t shut your mouth.

  “I’m not sitting. I can’t stand this. I’m really hungry.”

  “Fine, go chew on a burger or something.” I throw him twenty bucks and wave him away. “Now go and leave me in peace. Capisce?”

  “Seriously, man,” he reprimands but then pockets the cash.

  What a good friend I have. Telling me off but taking my money anyway.

  “I say you seriously like her. Look at the way you’re eyeing her. It's like you’re jealous of Samuel or something. I’ve never seen you act like this before. It just feels abnormal.”

  “Well, this is me being normal,” I tell him.

  “You call this normal? You act like you own her or something. Like… um… what’s the word? You know… her boyfriend. A possessive boyfriend.”

  “I am not her boyfriend,” I shout at him. How dare he accuse me?

  My loud comment earns us a scold from the head librarian. I nod to show her I got the message. Keep quiet or leave.

  “Well, you kissed her, didn’t you?” Kai whispers.

  “Yeah, but that was a dare,” I whisper back.

  “Still.”

  “Kai, are you going to go or do I need to kick your ass?” I hiss.

  I’m starting to feel impatient again. Will he leave me in peace or do I have to kick him out?

  “Chill, bro.” He lays his hands out in surrender and moves backwards, then says before disappearing, “Just give me a call when you’re ready to move your butt off that seat.”

  I give a smile, shake my head at his teasing antics, then turn back to Ivy to scan for any signs of movement on her part.

  Everything is normal. Breathing a sigh of disappointment, I pick up a book and resign to wait a bit longer.

  I’m so engrossed in this book about geography that I don’t even know how fast time flies by. By the time I finish it and look up, only four-eyed Sam is there.

  Ivy must be on her break. What a perfect opportunity.

  Staggering up with the help of my crutches, I limp to where four-eyed Sam is sitting.

  “Hey, you,” I call out.

  “Oh, hey, Zac.” His face perks up the second he sees me. “How’s the leg?”

  Is he stupid or just plain senseless? Can’t he see I need these things to get me around? Or maybe he’s just being a smartass. So I ignore his question and pull out my ultimate gun instead.

  “Why is Ivy teaching you? I thought you were already good at algebra. You got an A for our test last year if I remembered right.”

  “Yeah, well, I just want to get ahead, and since Ivy’s a year ahead of us, I thought I’d ask her for pointers. I want to become a mathematician like my…”

  Smartass, fully overloaded smartass.

  “…And you know. She is kind of cute, in her own reserved sort of way. So I thought I could get to know her a bit more.”

  If it weren’t illegal to smack someone in the head with these wooden crutches, I would seriously think of doing just that. This four-eyed dude needs a lesson. You can’t use this tactic to get a girl.

  Wait, maybe you can. Isn’t that what I’m doing? Throwing a tantrum, having a staring contest, aren’t they all in the name of fighting for my student rights, when in fact they’re just façades for me to continue to see Ivy?

  It doesn’t matter, because in this case, Ivy is still wrong. She should’ve chosen me instead of this four-eyed Sam. Neglecting a real student who failed algebra for this lame brain that is already a genius in the field just doesn’t make sense. Unless she hates me, which doesn’t seem likely either because I’ve never done anything to hurt her in any way. Unless… unless…

  Oh shit. Has she figured it out already? Does she know I’m her Phantom? Did she hate our kiss?

  Oh damn, my brain is going into a blender.

  I growl out my frustration.

  “Give me that book,” I snap, snatching the textbook Sam’s busy writing on. I leave him with his jaw gaping all the way to the floor and stalk back to my nest, waiting for Ivy to come collect her book.

  It’s not long before my plan works. I smile in glee as that voice floats to my ears.

  “You stole Sam’s textbook.�
�

  “So what if I did?” I glance up to see Ivy’s angry face. I want to chuckle in my satisfaction, but I think that’s going a bit too far. I’m not the evil guy here. Four-eyed Sam is.

  “Why?” she asks, angry.

  “Because you’re teaching him,” I accuse and stand up.

  I tell myself I’m not behaving like a nine-year-old throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t get his toy. I’m only doing this because I’m petitioning for my rights as a student.

  Ivy looks at me strangely for a minute, shakes her head. and then does the most peculiar thing. She giggles.

  Jesus help me, but she sounds so lovely when she laughs like that. Her face just totally transforms, lighting her beautiful chestnut eyes. She should laugh more often.

  Wait a minute…

  Laugh?

  Damn! I think Kai’s right. This is no baby crush. I like this girl. I seriously like Ivy.

  Like she doesn’t want me to witness her wearing more than the grouchy mask, she clears her throat and turns her eyes to me again, serious.

  “Look. I’m really busy today. So please leave. You’re distracting my student.”

  “Student?” I ask, aghast. “Your student is standing right here.” I point to myself to emphasize I’m her student. “I’m one of your students, Ivy. Shouldn’t I”—I even deliberately stretch out the word to make myself feel important—“have the rights of a student too? This student here has been neglected by her tutor. And so this tutor better take full responsibility and start delivering.”

  “I’m sorry, Zac, but my schedule is really full. I don’t think I can teach you anymore. Please understand.”

  “But I don’t understand.”

  That’s right. I don’t understand. All I want—no, need—is for Ivy to teach me.

  Here I go again. Another tantrum.

  “I’m sorry,” she says passively. “Just go home. There’s no use in you waiting for me here. I won’t be finished until late.”

  “I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Fine. Suit yourself,” she says, taking the textbook from my hand. She turns and disappears back to Sam.

  I’m pissed off. But all I can do is watch her go. My eyes catch sight of Sam’s. He’s smirking at me like a cat who’s stolen the cream.

  God, I want to bang his head with my crutches.

  I slump down in my little nest and wait it out. This time I’ll gain victory for sure.

  I idle my time away by reading random books about history and facts, stuff I’ve never known existed.

  Did people really think the earth was flat?

  Footsteps approach me. I glance up and see the head librarian smiling at me. I return the gesture.

  “You should head home now. We’re closed.”

  What?

  I look around the library, and sure enough, there’s only me. The sky outside is already dark. How long have I been reading?

  My face turns red as I come to the realization.

  Damn! She tricked me. And even left here without saying a word.

  Kai arrives the minute I snap my phone shut. He must have been hanging in the comics section, waiting for my call.

  Sitting in the car, heading home, my mood is worse than Mount Vesuvius erupting. I’m not going to give up that easily.

  You want me to chase you, Juliet? Well, get ready to be chased because this Romeo isn’t going to stop until he gets you.

  Chapter 7

  IVY

  No Way Out

  “I can’t believe cheese is so expensive here,” Clare complains when she carries the groceries home after having done the shopping with me. “A block of cheese is like a kilo of gold.

  I have to agree on the cheese being very expensive in this city, but to compare it to a kilo of gold, now that’s going a bit too far.

  Our life in Auckland was saturated with dairy products, being that it’s very cheap to import all that stuff over there. Out here in the South Island, I would have thought the price would reduce dramatically, since there are cows and sheep everywhere, but I’m wrong. Even I have to look at the price tag twice just to make sure my eyes haven’t deceived me.

  Knowing it will now cost us twice as much, we reduce our dairy products and increase our fruit intake instead. I don’t mind this change in diet because I like fruits. Plus, Moon will get the benefit of fresh nutrients, but it’s Clare that’s the main problem. She likes her cheese. And tonight she wants homemade pizzas piled high with mozzarella.

  Putting all the groceries on the kitchen counter, Clare randomly fires me questions about my tutoring position and my student. I don’t want to talk about Zac or my teaching ability as an algebra tutor, so I lamely twist the answer. We end up talking about Mandy and school instead. But Clare doesn’t let the topic drop and corners me back to the subject of my student.

  “Is your student a he or a she?” she asks while nibbling on bits of shredded cheddar.

  I pretend not to hear her and keep packing away the canned goods into the cupboard.

  “Ivy, come on. Spill a bit.”

  Clare is starting to act like a teenager instead of her thirty-two years. In fact, Clare and Mandy should have been born siblings because they’re so alike in many ways. They both like to pry in my personal affairs.

  “There’s nothing to tell. I teach algebra. He’s…” I close my mouth, having said too much already.

  “Oh! Oh! Oh!” Clare laughs. “So your student is a boy.”

  I groan.

  “Don’t worry. I won’t tell Nancy.” Clare reassures me. After grabbing another handful of cheese, she asks, “So is he cute?”

  Cute? Zac is beyond cute. He’s a handsome, hot as the devil guy, with hair as black as the midnight sky and eyes as green as emeralds, one that would definitely sear my heart and scar my soul if I let him in. So it would be best if I didn’t get involved with him at all.

  I congratulated myself yesterday for sneaking away quickly while he was busy reading his book in the library. Of course, I didn’t exactly leave the library altogether. I actually stayed behind and hid myself at the back of the library where there was a big window with a nice view of Zac inside, his head bent over his book, completely engrossed.

  I stayed like that until Mrs. McKenzie asked him to leave because they would be closing the library soon. Zac looked so mad when he stormed away on his crutches, hobbling like mad.

  I felt a little sorry for him then. I don’t understand why he had to go through all the trouble to come see me in the library just to petition for his rights as a student. Surely Mandy can do the same job.

  Never mind. Everything is over now. I won’t have to associate with Zac anymore. My life will return to normal again.

  “Come on.” Clare is still going on about my student. “Just tell me a little bit about him.”

  Fine, I’ll just tell her about Sam instead.

  “His name is Sam. He’s a year below me.”

  “What does he look like? Is he hot?”

  Hot? I don’t think the word hot would describe Sam. He’s an average guy. Nice and smart. Yes, he is smart. So I don’t know why he needs my help in algebra when everything I teach him he seems to know already.

  “Well?” Clare prompts.

  “Ummm.” What can I say?

  Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

  I’m saved. The phone rings, and I rush to pick it up immediately. I have to thank whoever it is.

  Clare gives me a look that implies we’re not finished with our conversation yet.

  I just smirk at her.

  Picking up the phone, I say my usual line. “Hello. This is the Hamilton residence. Ivy speaking. Who would you like to speak to?”

  “I would like to speak with you, Ivy,” comes a low-timbered male voice.

  I retract the phone from my ear, stare at it blankly for a second, then put it back near my ear. I ask in a questioning tone, “Who is this?”

  “Forgotten me already? And only after teaching me two
lessons.”

  “Zac,” I hiss into the phone. I hear him chuckling on the other end.

  I cover the mouthpiece and look for Clare. She’s busy, her head down, reading a magazine she got from the secondhand shop, her mouth filled with cheese. I turn my back, as if by doing this, a barrier has been created to prevent her from meddling in my affairs.

  Sure that I’m now saved from Clare’s interference, I put the mouthpiece back near my mouth and speak, “Why are you calling my house. What do you want?”

  “You know what I want, Ivy,” he says smoothly. “I want you.”

  Hearing him say that makes my heart rate increase dramatically. And I think I have trouble breathing. I inhale and exhale slowly.

  Surely he’s referring to wanting me as his tutor, not something else.

  “No, Zac. I told you already I will not be teaching you again. So don’t call this number anymore.” I slam the phone down, my mood turning sour.

  Suddenly, Jennifer Page’s “Crush,” my ringtone, comes on. I extract my cell phone out of my pocket and answer it. “Hello.”

  “That wasn’t polite, Ivy. Slamming the phone down when your student is busy talking.”

  “Zac,” I hiss again, a bit too loud this time. I look up and see Clare looking at me with a frown on her face. I give her a weak smile and move to the hallway just in case she hears my conversation with Zac. Once outside, I let my voice ring high.

  “How did you get my phone number?” I shout down the line.

  “Whatever I want, Ivy, I make sure I chase it until I get it. And right now, I want you—as my tutor. So start acting like one and take full responsibility.”

  For a moment, I think he’s referring to wanting me again, but I shake by head to rid myself of this silly notion. I harden my heart and tell him off.

  “Stop calling me,” I yell into the phone and push the end button, glaring at it, willing it to ring again. And if it does, I’m going to put a curse on him.

  “Who’s calling, Ivy?” Clare pokes her head into the hallway.

  “Just someone calling the wrong number,” I say, still glaring at my phone.

  Suddenly, our home phone rings again. Clare pops her head back inside the lounge, ready to pick up the phone, when I rush past her and pick it up myself.