Fixed Parts

by J. A. Wynters

  “Dogs are loyal, yes?”

  I waited. My mind drifting to Spots.

  “You seem to be loyal,” His face split into a grin that stretched too far across his face. “We all know what that filthy piece of shit, Tony, got up to in his spare time, and we all know how you kept your mouth shut.”

  I waited cringing inwardly. The space in my head filling with the screams. I remained silent, waiting for the wailing to fade. Joe shifted in his seat.

  “I’m here to offer you a truce, Gabriel.”

  “Why do we need a truce? Are we at war?”

  “No, we’re all friends here—for now,” he flashed me another smile and flicked light blonde hair away from his eyes. “See, it’s come to our attention that you may have inherited Tony’s collection.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Indeed,” he tipped his head a little, and the lock of hair fell back onto his forehead. “But, let’s just say that you do—for shits and giggles.” All traces of humour fell from his face. “Let’s just say that we are prepared to offer you an out.”

  I looked into his green eyes, they narrowed glaring at me. He looked like a wolf that’d been bleached by the sun—smooth, and stealthy, and completely predatory.

  Joe sighed and stood up. “I see.”

  He leaned over my desk with his palms splayed across the polished wood. He bore into my eyes, the warmth evaporating from his face. “Gabriel, this is a one time offer; a free pass, a way out. You could be your own man, do anything you want,” he gestured with his hands around the room as if they drew invisible threads of dreams I could grasp onto. “In fact, there’s a finder’s fee, something to help you get a new start in life.”

  He pushed away from the table, “All I want is whatever you took from Tony’s office, and I want it by the end of the week.”

  I ground my teeth, hoping my body didn’t give me away. They knew. They fucking knew. Or, they thought they knew and were trying to smoke me out. Suddenly, I was the wolf and they were blowing too much smoke into my burrow. I sucked in a breath, trying not to choke.

  “The only thing Tony gave me was this piece of shit place and that piece of shit man.” I pointed at Salvatore who remained stoic.

  “Indeed. One week, Gabriel.”

  With that, he turned away from me and left my office.

  “You’re playing with fire, boss.”

  “Well, maybe it’s time to set everything alight.”

  Salvatore didn’t reply as he stepped out of the office, trailing his new master.

  Joe had managed to instil the paranoia beneath my skin. It burned deep and long, and I found myself looking over my shoulder more than I cared to admit. I teetered on the edge of self-destruction, I had no idea who I could trust and with what. So, I decide to keep all my secrets buried, all the skeletons in the closet.

  The four days after Joe’s visit had me sinking deeper into Tony’s depravity and my own inhumanity; but, we’ll get to all that. I need to skip ahead, to make you understand.

  I was functioning on almost no sleep and deep seeded regret. In just four days, darkness clouded me and fear hooked into me. So, I wasn’t expecting guests. I wasn’t expecting anyone, especially not after hours. Well, not anyone that would knock anyway.

  I grabbed my baseball bat and took tentative steps down the stairs, my knuckles white around the wood, and my heart slamming violently in my chest.

  I peeked out of the small window into the night. My body tensed as adrenaline teemed inside.

  “What do you want?” I exhaled trying to rid myself of the nervous energy inside.

  “Nice to see you too. You going to let me in?”

  “Are you alone?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  I stepped closer to the door and peered out of the window, beyond the fringes of light. I searched the streets but couldn’t see anyone else.

  I unlocked the deadbolt and the door and held it open.

  Rita slipped inside, an easy smile on her face.

  “Paranoid much?”

  “Something like that. What are you doing here?”

  “Well, after seeing you at the funeral the other day, I thought we could catch up a bit.” She gave me a heated look and took another step inside.

  “Right, ok.” I followed her deeper into the car wash, and she took in the silent machinery and darkness of the cavernous room.

  “You live here now?”

  I nodded, still trying to comprehend the purpose for Rita’s visit.

  “A step up for you from that other dump.”

  “Barely.” I shrugged, dragging a hand over my face, fighting exhaustion.

  “Well are you going to invite me in, or what?”

  “Yeah, sure. Sorry.” I ushered her upstairs, but, I couldn’t help but keep looking behind me with each step.

  “Geeze, Gabriel relax. It’s just me.”

  I inhaled deeply, “I know, it’s just been a long few days.”

  “With Tony?”

  “Yeah…” I sighed.

  “Yeah.”

  “Sorry for your loss, I know he was your uncle.”

  “Please, spare me. We both know he was a piece of shit. I bet you even the earthworms will keep away from that snake.”

  “Doubt it, with all that meat and sauce coursing through him. He would taste too good.”

  We both burst into laughter, and at last the tension seeped from my body.

  “Would you like a drink?”

  “Sure, what do you have?”

  “Beer or whiskey.”

  “I’ll have what you’re having.”

  “Sure.”

  Rita sat on my bed and threw off her jacket. She wore a tube top that pushed up her breasts and showed off her hourglass figure. I couldn’t help but look. Memories of the feel of her in my hands, the taste of her on my lips, flooded my brain. Heat rushed to my face and spread along my body. My cock twitched at the memory of her warmth. I clenched my jaw and turned to my small fridge. I pulled out two bottles of beer, twisted the caps off and handed one to Rita, who chinked my bottle with her own then took a long sip.

  “Do you mind if I smoke?”

  “No.” I grabbed an empty bottle and handed it over to her. I sat beside her, the mattress shifting under my weight, drawing Rita closer to me.

  “You dating anyone?” Rita asked as thick white smoke poured from her mouth.

  “Dating is a strong word.”

  “Fucking?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Anyone special?”

  “I’m not looking for anyone special. Or anyone for that matter.”

  Rita nudged me with a sharp elbow and took another long inhale from the cigarette, “One day you’ll find someone that will fill your head and heart, and you’ll be completely consumed by them.”

  I shrugged, “Is that how you feel with what’s his name?”

  “His name is Chris. And, well…no.” She blew a series of smooth smoke rings, her full lips rounded in a perfect O.

  “So, why are you with him?”

  “It’s convenient.”

  “For who?”

  “Everyone. My dad, his dad, him, me.” She dragged on her cigarette, the ember glowing orange.

  “You?”

  “Yes, me. I can come and go as I please, see who I want, fuck who I want, buy what I want; I just have to spread my legs for him every now and then. He’s not even that bad in bed.” She winked at me.

  “So what about all that ‘finding the one that consumes your thoughts’ bullshit.”

  “It’s not bullshit,” she threw the cigarette into the empty bottle and it hissed as it touched the drops of liquid at the bottom. A trail of smoke rose from the bottle as she handed it to me. Our fingers grazed and Rita held my gaze, “The one I’m consumed with isn’t available.”

  “So, make him available. It’s you, Rita.”

  “Unfortunately for me, he’ll never be available. Not to me, anyway
.” Her blue eyes pierced me with a sad look. I turned my head away, feeling like I should apologise.

  I brought my beer bottle to my mouth and gulped at the cold drink, condensation peppering the green bottle, “Rita—”

  “So, how long have you lived in this shithole?”

  She turned the topic so suddenly I almost got whiplash. In truth, I was grateful.

  Rita stayed for hours. We drank. We talked. We laughed. Her laughter made me feel light. The delight it carried as it rang around the cold room helped me forget—just for a short while. My tension fell away. The fear and dread that have been accompanying me for four days released their grip.

  It was well into the small hours of the morning when she looked at the small bedside table clock.

  “Oh shit, I better go.” Rita pushed herself off the bed and curled into her jacket.

  “It’s late, you can stay.”

  “Thanks, Gabriel. But, I think I’d rather go.” There was a hint of desperation there, or maybe a question that I should have answered. Maybe she just wanted me to ask again, or maybe she knew if she stayed that she’d only be hurt.

  “Ok.”

  Looking back, I should have insisted. Everything would have been different had she stayed. Instead, I led the way downstairs and to the door.

  “It was really good seeing you, Rita. It’s nice to have a friend.”

  She wrapped her hands around my waist and pulled me close. I closed my arms around her and held her until she loosened her grip. She stood on her tip toes and landed a soft peck on my cheek.

  “See you around, Gabriel.”

  “I hope so.”

  At that, she gave me one of her easy smiles and sashayed out into the darkness.

  Another day dragged by in slow motion. Rita left too early—too late—leaving me with little sleep. My mind settled into a fog. I had to keep control of the stewing thoughts that festered inside. The radio spewed out information about a high-profile murder of a judge and his wife. I locked myself in my office, silencing the world.

  I must have passed out.

  The shrill ring of the phone pierced the silence of my mind. I was sinking, anchored to a heavy weight that dragged me down and under. I fought the chains, gasping, screaming in the frozen water. My lungs burned and my body twitched as is fought. Sinking. Endlessly sinking. I bolted up in my office chair.

  I was dry.

  The world was solid.

  My hands sliced through the air, reaching for the receiver.

  “Hello.”

  “Gabriel.” It was Salvatore. His sombre voice carried through the phone and hung heavy in the air around me. It wasn’t his voice that sent the shiver to my spine, it was the use of my name. My heartbeat thundered and lurched, and suddenly I was fully awake, “What’s happened.”

  “Get dressed. I’ll come pick you up.”

  “Salvatore, what’s happened? Is it Alice?”

  “Get dressed. It’s best you hear it from me.”

  “Salvatore, what are you talking about?”

  “I’ll be over in ten minutes.” The line went dead.

  I jerked from the chair and wiped the sheen of sweat covering my face. My heart pumped in my chest. I bolted upstairs to my room and found a clean shirt, then stuffed my legs into my jeans. By the time I was drying my face, Salvatore was knocking on the back door.

  He had a key.

  I had a deadbolt.

  He pounded on the door, and I raced downstairs and slid the deadbolt open. I didn’t remember locking the door; my head spun around, searching the darkness.

  Salvatore didn’t notice, “When did you install that?”

  “Five minutes after Joe left my office.”

  His lips twitched, “Smart.”

  He looked me up and down. He looked haggard. Dark purple bags hung under his turbulent eyes, and he looked like he hasn't slept in days. I guess having Joe around will do that—or maybe it was me, “Let’s go.”

  “Where?”

  “Something’s happened.”

  “Does anyone suspect—”

  He lifted his hand, silencing me.

  “Just tell me.”

  “Get in the car.”

  The bleak darkness of the witching hour seemed to follow us into the car.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “I think it’s best I show you.”

  My foot tapped and my jaw clenched the entire trip. My stomach coiled as thoughts and fear swirled in my head. Did we leave anything behind? Did anyone know? Salvatore sat stoic, his eyes firmly planted on the road. He wouldn’t answer any of my questions.

  It felt like the car was moving backwards instead of forwards. Wherever we were going seemed far and unreachable, the view on a loop.

  I clutched the seat, wondering about Alice, wondering why I was surprised, and wondering what was so bad that Salvatore couldn’t just spit it out. Were we running away?

  We drove to the fringes of the city, where suburbia met poverty, where lines of humanity and garbage crossed. I knew places like these. I’ve lived in them with Alice. Cold steel travelled down my back and settled like a parasite in my mind.

  Salvatore turned down a dirt lane. The tyres crunched on the gravel road, and angry steam rose from the ground.

  In the distance, the black night was slashed by flickering red and blue lights painting the trees and hovering over the dry creek. Drought has plagued the city for almost three years; maybe the sky had run out of tears.

  Salvatore slowed down and pulled the car over. We came to a complete stop, and suddenly I was glued to my seat. Either he had brought me here to leave me, or whatever was in the creek was going to be harrowing, and I didn’t want to face it.

  Salvatore stepped out of the car and opened my door.

  “Come on, Gabriel. We only have a few minutes before the rest of the world swoops down here. Reg owes me a favour, it’s the only reason I know, and he can’t hold off forever.”

  I stepped out of the car, my legs feeling like jelly.

  One of the police officers nodded to Salvatore; it must have been Reg. His hard eyes landed on me, and his mouth twisted in remorse. What the fuck was everyone hiding?

  Salvatore nodded back and grabbed my arm over the elbow, leading me onwards into the darkness.

  The dry creek bed crunched under our feet as we walked on, red and blue lights sweeping over us in a hypnotic rhythm.

  And then, I saw it.

  A shape at first.

  Unclear.

  Just a lump on the ground.

  A vice gripped my heart, squeezing. Swallowing became impossible.

  The light swept over the creek, and I saw her. Her limp body lying in a mangled heap.

  I felt the breath leave my lungs. For an instant, I felt as if every muscle became slack, like my body was too heavy for my legs to hold, and the night stood still. Every sound became crisp, the air so heavy that I could feel it between my fingers.

  “Rita,” I gasped. And took a step toward her.

  Salvatore held me back.

  “You can’t get any closer.”

  “Fuck you.” I struggled against his hold.

  Prying myself away from him, he blocked me with his body.

  “Move out of my fucking way, Salvatore!” I didn’t recognise the sound of my own voice; something feral and broken emanated from me.

  “No.”

  “Move!” I shoved him. It was like pushing on a brick wall.

  “You can’t get any closer, Gabriel. You can’t leave a mark on her, you can’t move her, or touch her.”

  “Move!”

  “Gabriel,” he didn’t raise his voice as I pushed against him. “Gabriel, stop.” He sounded so damn calm as my insides felt shredded.

  I stopped. My body stilled as the dust settled around my feet and my eyes fell on Rita’s mashed body.

  “Who did this?”

  “I think you know.”

  I gritted my teeth at the vague ans
wer. A loyal dog. A loyal dog who broke protocol and brought me here—or maybe he was told to bring me here. Even after the last few days, I found it hard to trust him.

  There was too much to process, too much to take in.

  I sucked in a breath and wrenched myself away from Salvatore. He stood back and allowed me a step closer to Rita.

  Her naked body was broken and twisted, her face a frozen mask of agony. Blood trickled from her nose and along her forehead.

  She suffered.

  Because of me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered to the once beautiful girl. I took a long look at her, burning her image into my very soul, sewing it into the fabric of my being, and vowed to avenge her, to show no remorse. Then I turned and walked away.

  Salvatore followed me out of the creek bed. A whispered conversation carried between two men, deep voices in the dark night. I trudged on along the path. All I could hear was crunching as the world flickered between blue and red, the pendulum of colour twisting around me as my stomach lurched and turned. It wanted release, it needed me to empty my feelings in a hot, steaming puddle of vomit. Instead, Salvatore’s words rang in my ears. I pushed the feeling down and swept them under an invisible carpet, buried deep inside my emptiness.

  I inhaled and rearranged my face, calming my emotions and trudged on. My heart throbbing. My chest aching.

  Why?

  But, I knew why.

  White light swept the path and the hum of Salvatore’s engine rolled along it. The car crept slowly along, following me.

  “Get in the car.” Salvatore’s voice carried over the silence.

  “Go fuck yourself.”

  “I know you’re angry, Gabriel. But, more police are coming now—ones that don’t owe me a thing. Playtime is over. And unless you want to get done for doing this, you better hop on in. If you want to finish what we started, this is your only chance. This invitation is going to expire in about ten seconds.”

  I stopped and looked up at the heavy tree canopy. It blocked out the moon and stars, or maybe it was the darkness that had fallen over me.

  I stomped around the car and yanked the door open, slamming it as I got inside. Salvatore took off as soon as the door closed. Dust billowed in our wake.