Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2)

by Heather MacKinnon

  I shook my head and put more food in my mouth. Those thoughts had no place here, and I needed to evict them as soon as possible.

  “Did you have anything you needed to do today before we head over to Gramps’?”

  I didn’t bother looking up in case his damn eyes were sparkling at me again. “No. I just need to shower and get dressed.”

  “Great. You can take one while I clean up and I’ll go after you.”

  I shot him a narrowed-eyed look. “I don’t think so. You cooked. The least I can do is clean.”

  “But it’ll take you longer to get ready.”

  “I’ll dress down today.” He scoffed, and I shot him another look meant to wither him in his seat. “What was that noise for?”

  “You have two ways of dressing. Professional and sophisticated for work, or in raggedy sweatpants and tiny tank tops for bed. There’s no in-between for you.”

  “My sweatpants are not raggedy.”

  “Belle. They’ve got twice the number of holes now than they were made with.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “They’re my Jesus pants.”

  He snorted. “What the hell are Jesus pants?”

  My grin was crooked. “The kinds that are holey.”

  He laughed and shook his head while I tried to not let that sound do dumb things to my insides. “Speaking of Jesus, don’t you have to go to church today?”

  I froze with my fork halfway to my mouth. “Um. What?”

  “Church. I thought you went to mass on Sundays.”

  Where the hell would he get that idea from?

  Oh. Shit.

  That night when we were hanging out, I’d tried to escape his apartment as gracefully as I could and wound up lying about why I had to leave. I’d completely forgotten, but apparently, he hadn’t.

  “Oh. Um. I don’t go every Sunday. Just some Sundays.”

  I could feel his stare on me as I concentrated on my food. Finally, he leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. “You lied, didn’t you?”

  “Hmm? Lied about what?” I asked my mostly empty plate.

  He laughed once and reached over to tip my chin up, so I had to meet his eyes. “You did, didn’t you? You lied about needing to leave that morning to go to church. Wow, Belle. Lying about the Lord has to be an all-time low.”

  I ripped my chin out of his fingers and shot him a glare. “I didn’t lie about the Lord. I just maybe fibbed about where I needed to be that morning.”

  He leaned forward, close enough that I could smell the cologne that still lingered on his skin. “Okay, so if you didn’t have to be at church, where did you have to be?”

  I looked away again.

  “Look at me.”

  Ugh. Damn him and those words again.

  I looked up at him and sighed. “Okay. I lied about church. I didn’t have anywhere to be but my own bed. Happy?”

  He frowned. “So, you snuck out of my bed, not to make it to church on time, but just to go back to your place? Why?”

  My head fell back on my neck as I stared up at the popcorn ceiling. “I don’t sleep with men after I hook up with them, okay?”

  He was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Never?”

  “Never.”

  “But you slept with me.”

  I released a deep breath and looked back at him, instantly regretting it. His dark eyes were so open and honest, and it felt like I was anything but. “Yeah which is why I snuck out while you were still sleeping.”

  He continued to watch me, a million emotions flying across his expression. Finally, he shook his head. “You’re a complicated woman, Belle Garcia.”

  I laughed once. “Yeah, you’re telling me.”

  His lips quirked to the side in a crooked grin before he shrugged. “It’s okay. I kinda like it.”

  I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell that meant when he stood up with his empty dish in hand. “You done?” He nodded at my plate.

  I shoved the last piece of bacon into my mouth and stood, taking his plate from him and stacking it with mine. “I told you, I’m cleaning up.”

  He held up both hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. I’ll go jump in the shower then.”

  He left the kitchen, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Taking my time, I washed all the dishes he’d used and dried them before putting them back where they belonged. Just as I was finishing up, the bathroom door opened, and Remy walked through a wall of steam.

  “Bathroom’s all yours,” he said.

  I tried my hardest. I really, really did, but my eyes betrayed my good intentions by darting to his strong, tan back. There were little droplets of water still trickling down his skin and my fingers itched to trace them. I shook my head and hurried into the bathroom before I got myself in trouble.

  True to my word, I got ready as quickly as I could, dressing in jean shorts and a t-shirt just to prove to Remy I owned clothes like that. When I stepped out of my bedroom, he was waiting in the kitchen for me.

  “You’re not wearing your glasses anymore,” I pointed out.

  He shrugged. “I usually don’t wear them out of the house.”

  Thank fuck for that.

  He frowned. “Why?”

  “No reason,” I said quickly.

  I could feel his eyes on me still, but thankfully, he dropped it. “I let Charlotte out already. You good to go?”

  I nodded and walked past him, holding my breath so I wouldn’t have to smell his cologne. “Thanks for taking care of Charlotte. You really don’t have to.”

  He shrugged as he walked past me, and I locked the door behind us. “I don’t mind. She’s a good dog.”

  I sighed. “I know. I think Bailey’s going to be moving her upstairs soon.”

  He shot me a frown. “Really? That’s gonna suck for you, huh?”

  I shrugged. “Kinda. But Charlotte is her dog and she should have her back.” I turned to him with a cheeky grin. “Besides, now I have you as a guard dog, I don’t need Charlotte.”

  He chuckled and pushed softly at my shoulder. “Yeah but just for the next couple of months. Then what’ll you do?”

  He walked ahead of me, which was good, because I wasn’t sure I would have been able to school my features into an appropriate look.

  What was I going to do when Remy moved out?

  I’d been practically counting down the days until I could get rid of him, and now it was hard to imagine what living without him would be like.

  I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts.

  Remy held my door open for me and I climbed in while he walked around to his side. Once the engine was running, I commandeered his radio like I did every other day. Finding a decent song, I sat back in my seat and tried not to think about how nervous I was.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  I looked at him. “Why would you think something’s wrong?”

  “Well, first of all you’re quiet which is strange for you.”

  “Fuck off.”

  He chuckled. “Second of all, you’re fidgeting, and you never fidget. What’s going on?”

  Damn it. How did he know me so well already? Was he taking freaking notes or something?

  I sighed and turned toward him. “I guess I’m kind of nervous to meet your grandpa.”

  He frowned. “Why would that make you nervous?”

  “Because he’s so important to you.” The words slipped right past my lips before I could stop them. I winced internally as I waited for his reaction.

  He was quiet for a long minute, his eyes trained on the road ahead of him. When we pulled to a stop at a red light, he turned to me, his brown eyes burrowing into mine. He didn’t say anything as he watched me, and I felt even more anxious under his stare. Finally, he looked away and began driving again.

  He cleared his throat. “You know what they say about things like snakes and mice and stuff?”

  “Um. No?”

  His lips twitched. “They say they’re more afraid of you than you ar
e of them.”

  “Okay?”

  “You could apply that theory to this situation too.”

  I pursed my lips to the side. “So, you’re saying your grandpa is more nervous to meet me than I am to meet him?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “I had to take him to get a haircut yesterday.”

  I frowned. “What does that mean?”

  He smiled softly. “He wanted to look nice for you.”

  My icy heart melted a bit in my chest. “That’s kind of adorable.”

  Remy shrugged. “And he said he’s wearing his nicest shirt for you.”

  “I think I might marry him.”

  He laughed hard and shook his head. “That’s all it takes to get Belle Garcia to break her no relationship rule, huh? A haircut and a nice shirt.”

  “That and a senior citizens discount at Friendly’s.”

  He laughed again. “I’ll have to remember that.”

  Chapter 20

  Belle

  “Why is your grandpa so excited to meet me, anyway?”

  Remy shifted in his seat, but his eyes remained fixed forward. “He’s curious about you.”

  “But why? Have you talked about me to him?”

  He shrugged. “Of course.”

  Why did that send butterflies flapping around my stomach?

  “What have you told him?”

  He shrugged again, the movement jerky this time. “Oh, nothing much really.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why did your voice just change?”

  He cleared his throat. “It didn’t.”

  I turned in my seat so I could see him better. “It did. What have you told him about me?”

  “Nothing really. Just that you’re my neighbor and you offered me your spare room for a couple months.”

  “Your voice just changed again.”

  “No, it didn’t.”

  “Yes, it did.”

  He cleared his throat again. “You’re hearing things.”

  I watched him for a while as he drove, his eyes resolutely on the road. The longer I looked at him the more he squirmed, and finally, an idea hit me.

  “Remy. You didn’t.”

  He shot me a small glance. “Didn’t what?”

  “Remy MacAlister, tell me you didn’t tell your fucking grandpa that we slept together.”

  He winced, and it was all the confirmation I needed. My head fell back against the seat and I groaned loudly. “Why?! Why would you tell him that?”

  “I didn’t!”

  “Your voice just changed again! It gets all squeaky when you’re lying to me.”

  He sighed. “My voice does not squeak and I’m not lying to you. I didn’t tell him.”

  I watched him for a moment, dissecting his words carefully. “But he knows, doesn’t he?”

  His jaw clenched, and that was plenty of proof for me. I groaned again and covered my face with my hands.

  “I’m sorry! I didn’t tell him, he guessed on his own.”

  “Why would he guess something like that?” I asked, my voice muffled by my palms.

  “I don’t know.”

  I dropped my palms and pinned him with another look. “You’re lying again. I can hear it.”

  He sighed and shook his head, his hands squeezing the wheel tighter. “He caught me texting you one night and kept asking questions. It’s not my fault. That man is like my own personal fucking lie detector test.”

  “What does that mean?”

  He glanced my way briefly. “I’ve never been able to keep anything from him. Not only can he sniff out the information, he can always tell if I try to lie to him.”

  I let my head fall back again with a huff. “Now he probably thinks I’m a slut. Why wouldn’t you tell me this before you brought me with you?”

  “Then you wouldn’t have come.”

  I shot upright. “Damn right I wouldn’t have come!”

  “Belle, relax. He doesn’t think poorly of you at all. If anything, he thinks I’m an idiot for letting you get away.” Remy winced again and pressed his lips together tight, almost like he hadn’t meant to say that.

  “You didn’t let me get away. I ran,” I said, my voice soft in the quiet confines of the car.

  Remy was silent for a long time after that and I could only guess what was running through his mind. Maybe he was thinking about waking up that morning without me. Maybe he was thinking he made a mistake inviting me to tag along with him. Maybe he was thinking I wasn’t worth all this trouble after all.

  He pulled up to a red light and turned to face me. “I don’t think you could have run in those heels you were wearing that night. I bet it was more like you tip-toed or crept out of my bed that morning.”

  A loud laugh burst out of my mouth, catching me completely off guard. Remy’s eyes softened as he watched me but, thankfully, someone honked behind us and he turned forward and began driving again. It was bad enough he made me laugh even when I felt like strangling him, I definitely didn’t need those warm chocolate eyes on me too. There was only so much a girl could take at once.

  “We cool?” he asked.

  My lips twitched with a grin, but I suppressed it as much as I could. “Well, I still want to stab you, but not as much as before.”

  He chuckled and the tension in the car eased a little more. How did he do that? Disarm me with just a friggen laugh. It was so annoying.

  “I guess I’ll keep the knives away from you tonight.”

  “You can stab people with a lot of different things, Remy. Keeping the knives away won’t stop me.”

  He laughed again, harder this time. “I guess I’ll have to keep my guard up, then.”

  Yeah, you and me both, pal.

  I shook my head to clear it. “You and your grandpa seem really close. Did he raise you guys?”

  “No, but we spent a lot of time with him growing up.”

  A million other questions flooded my brain as I struggled to keep them at bay. I didn’t know if Remy would appreciate me prying into his personal life. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I even wanted the answers to my questions. The more I learned about him, the more reasons I found to like him, and that was a dangerous road to travel.

  But I was nosey, so I asked anyway, consequences be damned.

  “Are you not close with your parents? I’ve never heard you mention them.”

  He shoulders slumped the smallest degree, and I instantly regretted my question.

  “They died years ago.”

  My stomach twisted as I silently berated myself. “Remy, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

  He glanced at me, a small smile on his face. “It’s okay. I don’t talk about them much, but I don’t mind sharing with you.”

  An alarm sounded in my head, but I ignored it. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

  “Can I ask how they died?”

  His shoulders tensed and his hands clenched the wheel harder. “It was a car accident. They were driving in a snow storm and lost control of their car.”

  My heart constricted in my chest. I knew exactly what it was like to lose a parent. I’d always hated the fact that I’d had so little time with my father from when he was diagnosed until he passed, but Remy had no time. He hadn’t been able to say goodbye like I had. Hadn’t been able to even try to make amends with the fact that he was going to lose them. They were just gone one day.

  I reached out and wrapped my fingers around his forearm. I’d tried my best to keep the physical contact between us to a minimum for my own sanity, but I couldn’t help myself. It was clear he was hurting, and I had no choice but to try to comfort him. It was instinctual.

  “I’m so sorry, Rem. That’s awful.”

  He sighed, his shoulder slumping a little before he turned and gave me a small, sad smile. “I miss them.” His voice was quiet but held so much emotion, it reverberated through the car.

  I squeezed his arm, wishing
I could do more in that moment. “I know what that’s like.”

  “I know you do.”

  We stayed there looking at each other silently for a moment before he finally turned away. I pulled my hand back onto my lap and threaded my fingers together to prevent myself from reaching out again. It was clear I couldn’t be trusted right now.

  “What about Ryder?” I asked, hoping a change of subject would get rid of the heaviness in the car. “Is he close with your grandpa too?”

  Remy sighed and shook his head. “He used to be.”

  Great. It seemed like I’d struck another nerve.

  “When Ryder had his first manic episode, it was a shock to all of us. We had no idea what had gotten into him until he was hospitalized and finally diagnosed. I learned all I could about the disorder and helped by letting him live with me and stuff, but Gramps wasn’t as understanding. He basically told Ryder to man up and get over it.”

  “Yikes.”

  “Exactly. More was said but I won’t go into it because it’s not really important. All that matters is Gramps wasn’t supportive at all and Ryder basically cut him off after that. They haven’t spoken in almost six years.”

  “Does Gramps still think like that?”

  “No, not at all but it was tough for him to get to this place. He grew up in a time when mental illness were seen as a weakness. Something you should be able to overcome on your own. No one saw therapists or took medications for things like that. He thought he was helping Ryder by telling him to toughen up and now he realizes it was a huge mistake. Unfortunately, Ryder isn’t willing to even talk to him, let alone forgive him.”

  I sat back in my seat and thought about that for a minute. “That’s awful. I feel so bad for them both.”

  “Tell me about it. And I’m the one stuck in the middle trying to play mediator to two of the most stubborn men I’ve ever met. No part of this is fun.”

  I looked at Remy, watching as he navigated the busy highway we were on. It didn’t surprise me that he was trying to fix the situation between his brother and his grandpa. Honestly, I would have expected nothing less. He couldn’t help but take care of those he cared about. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, it seemed like I’d found myself in that category now too.

  We were quiet after that, and a little while later, Remy pulled into the driveway of a cute little house in a quiet neighborhood. My eyes roved over the freshly painted blue shutters and well-maintained yard, knowing Remy must have had something to do with that.