Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2)

by Heather MacKinnon

  “Well, he shouldn’t have bothered. All it did was hurt him in the end.”

  Gramps leaned forward again, the wooden chair creaking under his weight. “You think he didn’t know exactly what he was getting into with you, Belle? ‘Cause he did. And if he didn’t, he sure knew once I got done tellin’ him.”

  I glanced up at Gramps but quickly looked away again.

  “And I don’t mean that in a bad way, dear,” he continued. “It’s just a fact. The first time I saw that fear mixed with longing in your eyes when you looked at him, I knew exactly what was going on in that pretty head of yours. I’d seen it before.”

  I swallowed harshly. “You have?”

  “Sure have. I used to have a girl just like you in my life. Damn woman gave me hell for a lot longer than I care to admit before I finally wore her down.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “I married her.”

  I glanced up again and found a wide smile across his weathered face. “Remy’s grandma?”

  He nodded. “Sure was. That woman was just as scared of me as you are of Remy in there. I didn’t give up and I know he won’t either.”

  My shoulders drooped as I looked back down at the table. “He should give up, Gramps. I’m not like your wife. I don’t have it in me to care about him like he cares about me.”

  Gramps chuckled and my eyes darted to his again. “You don’t think you already care for that guy in there just as much as he cares about you?” He laughed again and shook his head. “If that’s what you think, darlin’ then you’re blind. I see just how much he means to you. See the way your eyes go all soft every time you hear him laugh. You can’t hide something like that. Can’t just wish it away either. That kind of feeling is something you’re stuck with whether you want it or not.”

  I shook my head and returned my eyes to my nails. Gramps was a smart guy, but he was way off here.

  “Listen, Belle, I’ve been watchin’ you two for weeks. Day in, day out, I’ve seen the bond between you grow and turn into something more than either of you probably imagined it could be. I know you’re scared right now. I don’t know exactly what’s goin’ through that head of yours, but I bet I could guess a fair amount of it. I also know that you’ll wake up one day and realize all this nonsense you two are goin’ through right now was pointless and that you’re supposed to be together.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but he just kept talking.

  “I know you don’t believe me, but just humor an old man for a minute because I want to ask you for a favor. It’s a pretty big one, but I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you were up for it.”

  I nodded hesitantly. “What is it?”

  “I know that man seems like the strongest out of all of us, and in a lot of ways he is, but he’s also the most sensitive and that can make him vulnerable. There’s gonna come a time when he needs you, and I want you to promise me you’ll be there for him. That you’ll take care of him like he’s taken care of all of us for so long. I think he deserves that much, don’t you?”

  I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat, but it was useless. My hands began to sweat as I stared into Gramps’ earnest eyes and saw how serious he was about this request. It scared me a little, but beyond that was a sort of pride that he’d trust me with something so serious, even when it was clear he knew I was the one to blame for the issues between Remy and me.

  I took a long moment to think through his request, to really understand what he was asking me and make sure it was a promise I could keep because I didn’t make those lightly.

  I didn’t know what the future held for Remy and me, but I knew I’d always care about him. Gramps was right in that regard. I couldn’t just turn something like that off. The possibility of a relationship between us might be gone, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t always be there for him. And that made my decision easy.

  I sat up straighter and nodded. “I promise I’ll take care of him as much as he’ll let me.”

  Gramps chuckled. “I hope you’re willing to fight a bit on that one, because that man can be stubborn.”

  I gave him the first genuine smile I’d been able to muster up all day. “That’s okay. I’m even worse than he is.”

  Chapter 36

  Remy

  “Uber’s here!”

  I heard Belle yell from the kitchen, and I released a sigh of relief. I’d come in my room to change into my suit, but that was over half an hour ago. It didn’t take that long to get dressed, but I wasn’t ready to face Belle again, so I’d been hiding out in here.

  Cowardly? Yes.

  Necessary? Also, yes.

  When I’d walked in with Gramps and saw her standing there, her light brown hair in soft curls framing her beautiful face, I almost hadn’t been able to control myself. My hands itched to pull her into my arms. To kiss the red lipstick off her mouth. To hold her until she came to her senses.

  But that was out of the question, so I got the hell out of there and I’d been sitting in my room ever since.

  I took a deep breath and finally left my room to find Gramps and Belle standing by the door, waiting for me. We walked out to the car in a silence so heavy, it felt like it was suffocating me.

  “Gramps, you should take the front. It’ll be easier for you to get in and out,” I said, hating each word as I spoke it. Because if Gramps was up front, that meant I’d be in back. With Belle. Only inches away where her vanilla scent could drive me crazy and the distance between us could taunt me.

  When we were in the car, I confirmed the address with the driver and turned to stare out my window, an endless stream of thoughts taking up all the space in my head.

  Ever since Belle broke things off between us last night, my mind had been in turmoil. I fluctuated hourly on what I should or shouldn’t do with her.

  Did I keep pushing? Try to convince her that being with me wasn’t as scary as she thought it was? That we could be together and be stronger than we ever were apart? That what we’d found in these past couple months was real and worth fighting for?

  Or did I let her go? Let her pull away from me and let everything we’d built together crumble? Because, in some ways, she was right. I couldn’t guarantee what would happen tomorrow or the next day. I couldn’t promise her that I’d always be there for her when I didn’t know that for sure. I did know that nothing could ever make me leave her, but like she’d pointed out, we don’t always have a choice in the matter.

  Even though it felt like an impossible decision, my heart wasn’t confused. It knew that we were supposed to be together, and with each thump, it told me to not give up. To keep fighting.

  “You look really nice, Remy.”

  Her sweet voice broke through my haze and I turned to look at her. She was smiling softly, the sight making my chest constrict. How had I ever thought I’d someday reach a point where I’d have my fill of this woman? How had I ever believed I wouldn’t need to see her amber eyes or bright smile every day of my life?

  I shook my head and looked down at the black tuxedo I’d rented for Ryder’s wedding. I was used to dressing formally, but not to this extent, and I felt a little uncomfortable in it.

  “Thanks,” I muttered, not daring to meet her gaze again.

  She leaned closer, bringing her warm scent with her and making my heart pound. “I still prefer you in t-shirts though,” she whispered.

  My eyes darted to hers, noting the look of mischief in them and I couldn’t help but crack a small grin. “Good to know I don’t need to wear this penguin suit to impress you.”

  She chuckled and sat back in her seat. “Nope. A tight t-shirt and a pair of jeans is all I need.”

  “I’ll have to remember that.”

  She shrugged and turned to look out her window. It made me wonder if she even knew how she affected me. How I hung on every word that fell from her lips. How I analyzed and studied her every move, memorizing her.

  I ached to pull her close to me. To eliminate the dista
nce between us. To remind her of everything she felt in my arms, because I knew this wasn’t one-sided. I knew there was no way I could have misconstrued the look in her eyes when she was beneath me. When I was inside her. When the rest of the world fell away, and it was just the two of us. I knew in those moments I was seeing the real Belle and I savored every second I got with her.

  The wedding was still hours away from starting so the venue was quiet when we pulled up. Belle, Gramps, and I made our way inside and were directed to opposite corners of the building to meet up with our parties. Belle gave us a little wave, and I watched as she walked away from us.

  A rough pat on my shoulder broke me out of my trance and I turned to find Gramps watching Belle walk away too. “She’ll come around, Son.”

  I nodded but wasn’t sure I really believed him. I knew I was going to try my hardest, and I knew things had worked out for him, but Belle wasn’t Grams. Belle was the single most stubborn and hardheaded woman I’d ever met in my life and I seriously doubted my ability to make her see reason.

  That didn’t mean I was going to give up though.

  We found Ryder and the rest of his party in a room tucked in the back of the building. Cold beers were handed out and jokes were slung around the space as Ryder got ready.

  I did my best to shove thoughts of Belle aside. There’d be plenty of time to fixate on her later. Right now, I needed to focus on my brother. It was the most important day of his life and I was going to be there for him in any way I could.

  Despite my desire to participate, I was being quieter and more subdued that normal and I knew Ryder noticed when he approached me and Gramps.

  “How’re you two holdin’ up?”

  I raised a brow at my younger brother. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

  He shrugged and took a sip from his water bottle. Pride streaked through me watching him abstain like he always did. Even with a room full of people drinking, he stuck to his guns and avoided the stuff. Not just because it wasn’t good to mix alcohol with his meds, but also because it could trigger his bipolar symptoms and he wouldn’t risk that. My brother really had grown up.

  “Rem, I’m marrying the fucking girl of my dreams. What do I have to be worried about?”

  I shrugged and twisted my bottle in my hands. “You could fall on your face walking down the aisle. You could forget her name while saying your vows. You could burp in the middle of the ceremony. The possibilities are endless.”

  Ryder narrowed his eyes and pointed his bottle at me. “You’re a fuck, you know that?”

  I chuckled and stood up to wrap an arm around his neck. “You’ll be fine, man. And I’m really happy for you.”

  Ryder turned to give me a slap on the back, the infectious smile back on his face. “Thanks, brother. I appreciate it.”

  He turned to our grandfather, his grin just as wide. “How are you doin’ old man?”

  Gramps waved a liver-spotted hand in the air between them. “I’m doin’ fine. Don’t worry about me. Today is about you, Son.”

  “Got any advice for me? Any sage words of wisdom to impart?”

  Gramps shrugged. “I think you’re already doin’ a pretty good job, Ryder. I haven’t known Bailey long, but I can tell she’s the good sort. You two make a great couple and I know you’re gonna be fine.”

  He sat forward and leaned a hand on his knee. “I will tell you this, though: you make sure you love that woman as hard as you can every day that you can. Don’t ever stop loving her as much as you do right now. That’s what I did with your Grams, and even after she passed, I never had one regret. I knew I told her every day what she meant to me and she left this world with that knowledge in her heart. That’s the best you can do as a husband.”

  I swear my fucking eyes watered. The old man could still hit you right in the feels if he tried hard enough. I turned to see Ryder with a seldomly seen somber look on his face and knew Gramps had gotten to him too.

  He leaned over and pulled him into a hug. “I’ll remember that, Gramps,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.

  Thankfully, the wedding coordinator bustled into the room shortly after that because I was about to cry into my goddamn beer.

  We lined up for her inspection and upon passing it, were ushered out of the room and into the ceremony space to take our places. Gramps was seated in the front row as I stood beside Ryder, my chest filled with pride for my little brother.

  I knew his life hadn’t been easy, but he’d pulled through and become a man I was proud of. More importantly, he became someone he could be proud of and a lot of that had to do with Bailey.

  The processional music started up, and we all turned toward the doors to watch the bridesmaids file in. The first few I wasn’t familiar with, but the one with the golden-colored hair that walked down next, I’d be able to recognize anywhere.

  Belle was in a black lace dress carrying a small bouquet of white roses. She seemed to float effortlessly down the aisle, taking her place opposite me at the altar. Moments later, it was Bailey’s turn to walk toward us, but my eyes were still fixed on Belle. She must have felt my stare, because she looked over and gave me a small smile before turning away again. It was just enough to make my heart thump unevenly in my chest.

  Most of the ceremony passed by in a blur as I tried to keep my eyes off Belle and my attention on my brother and future sister-in-law, but it wasn’t easy.

  “You may now recite your vows to each other,” the officiant said.

  I focused on the bride and groom again as my brother cleared his throat and picked up Bailey’s hand.

  “I hope it’s okay that this is gonna be short and sweet.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “I’ve always called you Sunshine because from the moment I met you, you’ve brightened up my life. You were a ray of light in my darkest times. A pinpoint of brightness in the deepest tunnels I’ve had to travel through. You stuck by me when I gave you every reason not to and for that, I’m forever thankful. I promise to never leave your side like you’ve never left mine. And while you’re there, I’m gonna do everything I can to make you happy every day for the rest of my life.”

  That was my cue.

  I handed him her wedding ring and he slid it onto her finger with a solemnity I didn’t often see in my brother.

  Bailey sniffed back the tears that were clouding her eyes and smiled. “My vows aren’t long either.” She sniffed again and took a deep breath. “You’ve taught me a lot in our time together. I’ve learned how to truly love unconditionally but also how to accept unconditional love. The kind that fills you up until it overflows into every aspect of your life. I’ll never leave your side because that’s where I’ve found my place in the world and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. You’re my forever, Ry and I love you.”

  I swear, even I felt like I might cry. Soon after we headed back up the aisle, my brother a married man. We spent the next hour taking pictures in and around the venue before we were introduced to the wedding guests one by one and then released from our duties.

  I found Gramps and joined him at our table as Bailey and Ryder had their first dance. My eyes scanned the room until I found Belle sitting across the space. I watched her for a while as I tried to figure out what to do. I longed to go over to her but didn’t know if that was the right thing to do or not.

  “You’ll never get another right now, Son.”

  I turned to Gramps with a frown. “What?”

  He nodded toward where I’d been staring for the past fifteen minutes before looking back at me. “You’ll never get another right now,” he repeated. “You’ll never get this minute back. You do with it what you want and don’t let anything get in your way.”

  I stared into his familiar brown eyes as I thought through my options. Finally, I realized he was right. I’d never get another opportunity like this, never get this minute back again and I needed to take advantage of it. I gave him a nod of thanks and stood, my feet making a beeline for
Belle’s table.

  As I approached, her gaze met mine, widening more the closer I got. Finally, I made it to her side and held out a hand. “Dance with me.”

  Her eyes were wide, fear dancing through them. She looked around at the other people seated at her table before glancing back at me. Her throat bobbed with a swallow before she finally nodded. “Okay.”

  I wasn’t sure if she’d agreed because she really wanted to, or if she just wanted to save face in front of the other guests, but it didn’t matter to me. I’d take this victory no matter how I’d come by it.

  I led her onto the dance floor before pulling her into my arms, eliminating the space between us like I’d been dying to do since she left my room last night. One of my hands clasped hers while the other wrapped around her waist. Her fingers were tentative as they crawled up my arm to grip my shoulder.

  We started to dance, slow and hesitant at first until the natural connection we’d always had brought us closer together, making this as easy as everything else always was between us. I held her tight, breathing in her sweet scent and reveling in the warmth of her body.

  My thoughts raced as we danced. I knew what I wanted, knew what I felt, but I didn’t know if being honest was the right thing to do. If it would get me what I really wanted. But then I remembered Gramps’ advice for Ryder.

  You make sure you love that woman as hard as you can every day that you can.

  It was then I knew what I had to do.

  I leaned close until my lips reached her ear. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened last night, and I’ve come to a decision.”

  “What’s that?” she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

  I pulled her even tighter against me. “I’ve decided I’m not giving up on you. Not today, not ever. If you need me to wait, I’ll do that, but I’m not letting you go and I’m not letting you walk away. If you try, I’ll just follow you.”

  She pulled back until she could meet my eyes, hers full of wariness. “Why?” she whispered. “Why would you bother?”

  I swallowed harshly, trying to get the words on the tip of my tongue to go back where they came from, but it was no use. They were there, and they were ready to come out, regardless of whether she was ready to hear them or not.