Phantoms of the Otherworld (In Spiritu Et Veritate)

by Reed, Zoe

  “Vampire,” Eli called as the prisoner neared his exit. The vampire stopped at the hole and turned to look at him. “The warlock might have rules to follow, but we don’t. And we never forget a face.”

  Without looking back the vampire bolted out into the dark night, and Abby sat down on the floor in between the two cots that held Kyla and Camille. When a disbelieving tear rolled down her cheek she instantly wiped it away. Everyone else was holding it together. She couldn’t be the first to buckle. Though the fact that Lacey was gone had sunk in, she still didn’t want to believe it. Even in her line of work, she’d never lost a friend before. She didn’t know how to handle it, and she wished her father had let the werewolves get justice.

  Abby looked up at the gold wolf, trying hard to hear some kind of thought. Usually if someone was sleeping she could still hear them and their dreams. Only, with Camille and Kyla, she got nothing but silence. Wherever their minds were was too far for her to find them.

  One of the gold wolf’s paws was dangling over the side of the cot, and she gave it a sad but playful swat. “I promise we’ll get you both out.”

  I grabbed another small pebble from the ground and tossed it as far as I could. Then I watched as Camille did the same, only she threw it about three times as far. We’d been sitting near our boulder-hill for too long to count. If we went by the sky’s changes from light to dark, which we considered day and night, we’d been sitting here for two days, not counting the first time we woke up. It certainly felt like two days, maybe even longer. Everything had been quiet since the first time we saw the monster. No sign of it, no sign of any madmen, and still no sign of getting out.

  We repeated the process of throwing rocks, Camille’s again going much farther than mine. “This isn’t fair,” I whined at my poor arm. “I like being a werewolf.”

  We’d been lucky enough to find my other half. Or, more accurately, it had found us. During my shift to sleep it came back, and when I woke I found it snuggling against Camille, who had her arm draped over it as she was keeping watch. She’d removed her arm rapidly when she realized I was awake, and I couldn’t help but smirk at that, even as I thought about it now. In both of our waking hours the light gray wolf hovered close to Camille. Guess it really was me, though I have to admit it made me slightly jealous.

  Camille just chuckled at my complaining, and pointed to a far off outcropping of boulders. “Bet I could hit that one way out there.”

  “Yeah right,” I scoffed in disbelief. They were at least three football fields away.

  She stood up with a pebble in hand, and after winding up she sent it flying. It sailed through the air for a while before it landed right on the collection of rocks she’d been aiming for. “Woo!” She jumped excitedly, and her shout echoed back at us.

  “Your target was too big,” I teased as she sat back down.

  “Oh, whatever. Jealous much?” She laughed and instinctively draped her arm over the wolf that slept on the ground near her seat, but she instantly pulled it away when she remembered I could see her.

  I watched her as she stared across our cold wasteland, absentmindedly tossing a pebble from hand to hand. Since things had quieted down and we’d been comfortable enough to even get bored, I’d been thinking about what Abby told me. I wanted nothing more than to tell Camille and set things straight. At first I held back because of our situation. Somehow it didn’t seem like the right time. Now the time felt right, but I just didn’t know what to say or how to begin.

  “Camille?” I started hesitantly. If I kept dwelling on it I didn’t know if I’d ever get it out. I waited patiently for her gaze to meet mine. “Why’d you kiss me? That night at the show.”

  She went completely frigid, and deliberately looked away. “Is now the best time?”

  “When would be better? When we’re dead?” I asked, intentionally glancing around at where we were.

  “We’re going to get out of here,” she said quietly, still refusing to look at me.

  I turned my body so I was facing her, letting her know that I really wanted to talk about it. “Don’t avoid the question.”

  “To stop the Change,” she offered with a shrug, blankly staring at the pebble in her hand.

  I knew that much was true. I also knew Abby wouldn’t lie to me about the whole thing being a misunderstanding, but I needed to hear the truth from Camille first. I needed to know she really still wanted me. “After that.”

  It took a minute for her to say something as she sat there thoughtfully, now distractedly playing with the wolf’s fur. “It doesn’t matter,” she eventually answered with biting displeasure, “You have Abby.”

  I winced, but I knew I deserved it. I’d all but flaunted Abby in her face. She shifted under my gaze, and a second later, not being able to take it anymore, stood and leaned against the rock. Still I pressed, part of me needing to hear it from her before I put myself out there. “You’re still not answering the question.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Kyla,” she said pointedly, finally looking at me with a decided spark in her eyes.

  Again I flinched, but this time I grew mildly irritated. Why couldn’t she say it? I was giving her the perfect opportunity. I felt like I was practically begging for her to admit it, but she wouldn’t. “Jonathan made me break up with you.”

  Shocked, Camille blinked a few times, then licked her lips, and then stared for another minute. “What?”

  “God, Camille, are you serious?” I threw my hands up, frustrated now that she really hadn’t realized it. That I’d spent the last few months thinking the first and only girl I’d ever loved truly didn’t want me anymore. “I never wanted to break up with you. He threatened to kill my family if I didn’t make that call.”

  “You mean-” she stopped short, still in shock.

  I waited for her to finish her sentence, but she didn’t, so I finished it for her, “I still wanted you.”

  “Wanted,” she repeated quietly to herself, and then looked at me. “Past tense?”

  What did she mean past tense? Why would I even be bringing this up if I didn’t still want her? My eyebrows furrowed in aggravation. “No, not past tense.” I wished I’d spoken a little softer, because I could see Camille cringe at how sharply I’d answered.

  “Well, why didn’t you say anything?” she asked defensively. Why wasn’t this going the way I wanted it to?

  “Why didn’t I say anything? I thought it was obvious,” I told her and stood, my own frustration building. “I thought you knew and you were just using the pain as an excuse not to be with me.”

  “If I didn’t want to be with you I’d say it to your face,” she growled, clearly offended. Then she paused, taking in a breath to calm herself. It didn’t work, and when I didn’t say anything she continued, “And why in the hell would you think it was obvious?”

  “Couldn’t you tell how I felt about you?” I raised my voice for the first time out of pure desperation, and now the wolf, which had been watching us from the ground, gave a soft growl. I pointed a finger at it and glared. “You’re supposed to be with me on this.”

  Camille ignored the exchange and raised her voice a little now too, getting increasingly disgruntled. “Yeah, sure, I could tell, for a whole month,” she said sarcastically. “What was I supposed to think after so little time? That you wanted to be with me forever? I mean, I wished, but I was a fucking werewolf for Christ’s sake! It was obvious I was going to get you hurt, and I did. I almost got you killed! I thought you’d learned what was good for you. And I’m a girl! You practically said it on the phone that night that you weren’t gay. You could have been experimenting for all I knew!”

  My jaw dropped. “Is that really what you think?” I said bitterly. “That I’d use you to experiment?” Even though my anger was growing, I told myself this was good. It certainly felt good, in a tortured, painful sort of way. We’d both been through hell the last few months. We had to get our frustration out. Right?

  Camille l
ooked around like she was taken aback, like she’d just been ranting and hadn’t really meant to say that. She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighed, and then spoke softly. “No, I don’t really think you’d do that.” She was thoughtful for a second before speaking again. “But I told you I loved you,” she said accusingly, “And you looked terrified.”

  “I was terrified!” I hollered in exasperation. “Jesus, Camille. What do you want me to say? That I was afraid of getting attached to you? That I couldn’t say it back because you came home from a fight that day wounded and hurt, and I was scared of losing you? I was terrified of my feelings being real!” I took a few shallow breaths, trying to calm my temper, trying to keep from yelling. “Is that what you need to hear?”

  We were both silent for a minute while I stared at the ground, not really knowing now what to say. Then Camille reached out for my hand, and taking it she pulled me to her. “Come here. I’m sorry.”

  I let her pull me close, and even though her arms felt good wrapped around me, I was still upset, still angry. It took a moment of wracking my brain to figure out the cause. “No. Why?” Pushing away from her, I couldn’t stop a tear from falling down my cheek. “How could you just stand there this whole time and watch me be with someone else? Why didn’t you fight for me?”

  “Fight for you?” Camille practically huffed, and now her brows furrowed with outrage. “Fight for you!” she shouted louder this time. “Kyla, I gave up everything for you!” she pushed off the rock to yell, pointing an irate finger at me. “I tried to help you control your Changes, even though every time I looked at you it felt like you were ripping my heart out all over again. When that didn’t work I left my home, my family to go to Oregon with you! Even in Oregon I trained with you, every time, but you still didn’t act like you wanted me. When you found Abby I was pissed, because nothing I did was enough for you and I had nothing else to sacrifice.” She paused and finally took a breath so she could continue. “I’ve always been subtle and you know that! When have I ever tried to push you into anything? I was willing to let you go because I thought it would make you happy. But don’t you dare say I just stood by, I wouldn’t have given this much for anyone but you!”

  I stood there with more tears flowing down my cheeks now as Camille leaned against the rock behind her, chest heaving from shouting. I wasn’t crying because she yelled at me, I could handle that. I was crying because I was ashamed, because the more Camille and I got off our chests, the more I felt like this was my fault. She offered a hand, but I couldn’t even look her in the eyes, let alone allow her to hold me again. I didn’t deserve it.

  “Kyla,” she started as she dropped her hand, “I still don’t know how you really feel about me. Do you even still want me?” I looked up into her eyes and nodded. “Tell me exactly how you feel.”

  I just stood there staring at her, but I still felt so ashamed it was hard to even do that.

  “I need to hear the words,” she told me, her voice slightly tainted by worry.

  I opened my mouth, but after a second I shut it again. I could admit it to Abby. I could even admit it to myself. Why was it so hard for me to say it to Camille?

  “You can’t even say it.” Her gaze lowered sadly. “Goddammit, Kyla, please.”

  Why was I so afraid? Maybe I couldn’t handle her yelling at me as well as I thought. No, that wasn’t it. It was because I was terrified again, and because in all Camille’s yelling, her rants, her infuriation, she hadn’t said it either.

  “I need you to say it.” Her voice was rising again as she pulled her back off the boulder, but not out of anger. Out of desperation. “Kyla, say it!” she finally yelled.

  I flinched, and out of instinct I shouted right back, “You say it first!”

  “I still love you!” she hollered without hesitating, and now she leaned back again, watching me, waiting to hear the same words.

  Kyla, just say it. I was frozen. None of this was happening the way it was supposed to. This wasn’t supposed to happen through a fight. I wasn’t supposed to force the words out of Camille, and it shouldn’t have to be forced out of me. This wasn’t the passionate, heroic moment I thought it was going to be. Plus there was that fear again. That fear that if I said it then one of us wouldn’t make it out of here, and that I would never be able to live with. After all this, I was still afraid of losing her. So I froze.

  “You still can’t even say it.” Giving up, Camille peeled herself off the boulder and pushed past me toward the cave, and sensing a change, the wolf got up to follow.

  Now I started to panic. We couldn’t end it like this. Not after months of agony. Not after we’d been so close to finding each other again. “Kiss me,” I begged frantically before she could disappear into the crevice.

  She stopped walking and turned around to face me, but she still looked so angry that I was scared she wouldn’t do it. Instead of waiting I shot forward, catching her lips with mine before she could back away. But it was as if she was ready for it, because I immediately felt her hand cup the side of my face with reception.

  When her lips first touched mine they’d been hard and furious, but it only lasted a second before she gave in, just like she had at the show. I felt her free hand rest on my hip, while the one on my face slid down my chest and lightly across my stomach to settle on the other one. In response I wrapped my arms gently around her neck, pulling her even closer, and a moment later hers snaked completely around my waist. This was what I wanted. The moment I needed to be able to finally tell Camille the truth. I could feel it in the way she held me, in the way she kissed me, that she wanted me all along. This was how things were supposed to be between us.

  I pulled away from her lips to nuzzle my face into the warmth of her neck, planting a soft peck on that smooth, bare skin before finally looking her in the eyes. “I love you. I always did love you, and I’ll never stop.” At the confession Camille’s lips grazed my forehead, and after all the yelling and frustration the tenderness of it was too much. I buried my head back in the crook of her neck so she wouldn’t see more tears. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

  “Please, don’t cry,” she begged as she wrapped her arms tight around me. “This was as much my fault as it was yours. Besides, I’d go through it again if I still get you in the end.”

  “I don't ever want to be without you again,” I said, wiping away what I knew would be the final tear. “We both have to get out of here, okay?”

  She nodded, and after wiping the dampness off my cheeks she dropped her hands. “I promise.”

  I was about to kiss her again, to start filling my insatiable longing with those wonderful lips, but then the monster's fierce yowling sounded in the distance. My eyes shot to the wolf, which was already scrambling up the rocks to its own hiding place, and I took that as my cue to hide as well. Grabbing Camille's hand I darted for the crevice, and when we got into it we crawled up deeper into the rocks. Laying down where we could see out into the light we both watched silently, hearts pounding in terror. We were so intent on waiting to catch a glimpse of the monster that we didn’t notice the gateway glowing brighter and brighter until something came rolling out of it with a thud. It was a man, who now lay unconscious on the ground.

  I looked from him to the billions of particles that formed the portal, and then over at Camille. “This could be our chance, we should run for it.”

  I assumed she’d agree, and began to scramble up, thinking of desperately making a break for the gateway, but she forcefully pulled me back down. “We don’t even know if we can get through it,” she said in a hurried whisper.

  Before I could try and convince her it was worth a shot the earthy explosion as the monster hit the ground echoed through our hiding spot. Resuming my place beside her, I looked for it, but it must have landed behind the patch of rocks about a hundred yards from the entrance of our inlet, because I couldn’t see it anywhere. Then the man started coughing, just like Camille and I had when we’d first woken up. He sat up, hackin
g so hard I heard him gag, and then a few seconds later he stopped to take in a series of calming breaths. We watched him stand up and glance around with a wild, terrified look in his eyes.

  Panicked for the man, I took in a deep breath to yell and tell him to hide, but Camille’s hand clamped down over my mouth. “Don’t you dare,” she murmured as commandingly as she could. “We’re both getting out of here alive, remember?”

  She waited for me to nod before removing her hand, and we both went back to watching helplessly. The man was stumbling forward, still looking around, dazed.

  “Hello!” he yelled, and I practically smacked my forehead. Shut up, you dumbass. Hide! “Hello?” he yelled again.

  Then I saw it. It glided from behind the rocks, watching the man silently. In its lizard-like movements it crept forward and stopped. It was out there in the open with nothing to hide behind, but its motions were so swift and precise that the man hadn’t yet seen it. It was so smooth it practically slithered forward again, and again, and the third time the man finally saw it.

  Shock and horror riddled his face, but he didn’t waste a second in turning and making a break for the rocks that Camille and I were hiding in. Like lightning the thing was after him, and this time it didn’t stop. Its limbs moved so fast it seemed to be gliding over the ground, never touching a single toe to it. The man slid under a crevice somewhere nearby not a second too soon, and I now watched with extreme curiosity, wondering what the creature, which was too big to fit into any of these holes, would do. The thing howled at him furiously, stood on its back legs to stretch its long body into the air, and then brought its front legs down on the rock with so much force that it pulverized the man’s shelter.

  Shattered pieces of rock and dust went flying everywhere, and in a single swipe of its paw the thing caught the man in the arm with its claws and threw him over its shoulder. The man landed with an ‘oomph’ on the ground near where he’d first woken up, and the thing turned on him before he could even catch his breath. It stood above him now, front feet planted on and claws buried in his chest. That spiked, whip-like tail twitched almost happily through the air. Now the man screamed, flailing his arms against the thing that pinned him to the ground. I watched in fright, expecting the monster to use those massive fangs to take a chunk out of the man’s flesh.