Bullets and Beads

by Jana DeLeon

  We had to dispatch them now or we weren’t going to make it home.

  Ida Belle must have seen the arm extending out the window in the other car because she began to do evasive maneuvers, swerving back and forth, making it harder for the shooter to hit his target. Gertie and I clutched the back of the seat as the SUV swayed, trying to keep our balance. Two shots rang out from their car, but both were misses. The arm ducked back into the car and I was afraid that was a sign that they were about to try something with more oomph.

  “In the back of the SUV, pull up the carpet,” Ida Belle said. “There’s a rocket launcher under there.”

  I blinked. “A rocket launcher?”

  “Gertie’s not the only one who can shop illegally,” Ida Belle said. “Hurry up before they take out a tire.”

  Ida Belle closed the back window so that the shooter couldn’t see inside. I scrambled over the seat and pulled back the carpet, then wriggled around so that I could remove the cover. Sure enough, there was an RPG and a single rocket. I said a quick prayer of thanks and another that these women never stopped surprising me. I grabbed the launcher, got it loaded, and scrambled back over the seat where I’d have access to the sunroof.

  Then I remembered Mannie.

  I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text.

  Hang far back. Now!

  I saw Mannie’s car drop away as if he’d slammed on the brakes, then I crouched on the back seat, ready to pop up, take aim, and fire. I told Ida Belle to open the sunroof and maintain a straight line. My pulse was racing as the sunroof opened, one thought flashing over and over in my mind—you only have one shot. As soon as I had clearance, I stood up and placed the launcher onto the roof of the SUV, then leaned in to take aim, said a quick prayer, and fired.

  The rocket took off, sending me and the launcher tumbling down into the SUV and on top of Gertie. Ida Belle gave the SUV the last acceleration it had remaining and it leaped forward. Gertie and I scrambled up and peered out the back as the driver of the sedan slammed on his brakes and yanked the wheel to the side.

  But it was too late.

  The rocket hit the hood of the car and it exploded into a million pieces.

  Gertie and Ida Belle both cheered and I managed a thumbs-up before collapsing into the bottom of the SUV. I hoped to God no one remembered that car and Ida Belle’s SUV because I had no idea how I would explain things to the police. I was pretty sure even Morrow couldn’t make that one go away.

  Mannie’s car burst through the flames and smoke and Ida Belle slowed to a more manageable speed of a hundred miles per hour. We were only minutes from Sinful and unless there was a roadblock ahead, we were going to make it.

  “Good Lord!” Gertie said. “I’ve never seen anything like that. It was fantastic! Can we do it again?”

  “No!”

  Ida Belle and I both responded at once.

  “I’m hoping we don’t have to,” I said. “That’s not the sort of attention I want to draw. Besides, using something of this caliber on a mostly empty stretch of road is one thing but using it inside the town limits would be very bad.”

  “You could point it at Celia’s house,” Gertie said.

  I smiled. “Okay. Maybe one more.”

  Ida Belle drove straight to my house and we hurried inside. Mannie arrived a few minutes later, explaining that he’d cased the block to make sure nothing looked out of place and all was clear. I grabbed us all a beer and Ida Belle, Gertie, and I sat at the table. I motioned to Mannie to take a seat but he shook his head.

  “I have some things to do,” he said. “Your package arrived, and I need to pick it up, assuming you still want it.”

  “Heck yeah,” I said. Any diversion right now would be more welcome than a lottery win.

  “And I need to call in some reinforcements in case that rocket of yours doesn’t scare others off,” he said and smiled. “Nice job, by the way.”

  “I can only take the credit for good aim,” I said. “Ida Belle is the one who acquired the goods.”

  He raised one eyebrow at her. “We’re going to make you into an outlaw. Just wait.”

  Ida Belle waved a hand in dismissal. “I’ve been an outlaw since the crib. I just don’t flash my goods around all the time like some other people.”

  “There’s no point in having goods if you’re not going to flash them,” Gertie said.

  Mannie’s smile wavered and I laughed.

  Gertie looked back and forth from Mannie to me and frowned. “You know, if it weren’t for Carter, I’d be thinking you two were a great fit.”

  Mannie continued to smile but shook his head. “I don’t think so. Fortune is an exceptional operative and an even better human, and I’m willing to admit that my interest in her does exceed a professional capacity. But being in a relationship with someone like her requires a kind of strength I don’t have.”

  Gertie nodded. “Translation—Fortune is going to give Carter a heart attack one day and Mannie doesn’t want to go out that way.”

  “Something like that,” he said.

  He pulled out his phone and started a video. We all leaned in and saw Ida Belle and me pushing Gertie out of the hospital and into the ambulance.

  “How did you know it was us?” Gertie asked.

  Mannie raised one eyebrow.

  “Never mind.” Gertie waved a hand in dismissal.

  “But that was you just getting started,” Mannie said as he queued up another video. This time it was his view of the car chase after he’d slammed on his brakes. About two seconds into the video, the enemy’s car blew sky-high. Gertie cheered at the video and Ida Belle grinned.

  “That was even better the second time,” I said.

  “And therein lies my earlier point,” Mannie said. “You ladies stay safe. I’ll text you when I have the product in hand and you can let me know when I’m clear to deliver it.”

  “Thanks for everything,” I said. “And please give our thanks to Big for letting us use his place and our apologies for not cleaning up before we left.”

  “We didn’t even get our bags,” Gertie said. “And I had my new sexy bra in it.”

  Mannie looked slightly dismayed. “My associate has collected all of your things and put the apartment back into its previous condition. I will bring your items when I deliver the laser.”

  “You need some of those associate people,” Gertie said to me. “They get everything done.”

  “You are supposed to be my associate people,” I said.

  “Oh, right.”

  We all laughed and Mannie headed out.

  “Good God, woman, break out the food before we all waste away,” Gertie said.

  “I have to agree with her,” Ida Belle said. “Between the fear and the excitement, I’ve probably burned ten thousand calories today.”

  I got up and assessed the refrigerator. “Already cooked, I have leftover pot roast, four hamburgers and some franks, baked beans, and potato salad. What do you guys want?”

  “Yes,” Gertie said.

  I laughed and started shoveling containers out of the refrigerator. Gertie and Ida Belle took over with the stove, oven, and microwave and before long, we sat down to our extremely late breakfast and lunch.

  “This is better than the casino buffet,” Gertie said.

  “The school cafeteria is better than the casino buffet,” Ida Belle said. “They plan for everyone to be half drunk and short on sleep. That way, they don’t care about the food.”

  “Well, I’m not drunk but sleep is on the questionable side,” I said. “Still, this all tastes better now than it did when I first had it.”

  “I hope you have dessert,” Gertie said. “I’m going to need to wash all this protein and carbs down with some sugar.”

  “I have chocolate chip cookies and key lime pie,” I said.

  “Key lime pie?” Gertie said. “That’s not your standard fare.”

  “Ally’s trying out recipes,” I said. “I am her helpful and thankful guinea p
ig.”

  “How do I get that job?” Gertie asked.

  “If you started eating for Ally as well as yourself, I’d have to get stronger shocks on my SUV,” Ida Belle said. “Just stick to your own fattening creations and leave testing Ally’s stuff for when we’re at Fortune’s.”

  Gertie shrugged. “Works for me. We’re over here all the time anyway.”

  “And that’s about to become a more permanent thing,” I said. “I can’t risk you two staying alone. That stunt today shows just how desperate they’re getting.”

  Gertie frowned. “Yeah, that was weird. Why were they trying to kill us? Dead people don’t talk.”

  “I don’t think that was their goal,” I said. “I think they wanted to stop us somewhere on the highway and take me or all of us hostage. If someone died that would have been unfortunate but probably not the end of the world.”

  I heard a boat engine outside that seemed to cut off when it got near my house. I put my finger over my lips and got up to grab my laptop off the kitchen counter. I opened a blank document and typed.

  No talking about my father except to misdirect.

  I pointed to the kitchen window and they both nodded. If I could purchase a laser, so could the enemy.

  “Well, I don’t know what they think they’re going to accomplish,” Ida Belle said. “You are the last person your father would want to see.”

  “That’s true enough,” Gertie said. “Fortune would probably shoot him on sight.”

  “I don’t know that I’d shoot him, but a hard right hook to the jaw is definitely in order,” I said. “But you’re right—even if he needs help, there’s no reason for him to contact me, especially now that I’m no longer active. There’s nothing I can do for him.”

  “Do you think he’s a traitor?” Gertie asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “And I don’t care anymore. He made his choices. He can live with the consequences. I’m just angry that the rest of us have to live with them as well, especially you guys.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Gertie said. “None of it. You left that life.”

  “Yeah, unfortunately, it didn’t leave me,” I said. “But let’s talk about something more cheerful. Gertie, tell me about that new television series you started watching. Is it any good?”

  Gertie gave me a confused look and I pointed to the door and signaled for them to keep talking. Then I hurried out the front door and around the side of the house. I could use the hedges between my house and Ronald’s to get close to the water. Maybe it was just a fisherman who’d stopped nearby to try his luck. Maybe it was someone who’d run out of gas. Maybe it was kids stopping to sunbathe or drink beer out of their parents’ sight. But with everything going on, I had to be sure. There was only one highway into Sinful, but the hundreds of waterways that led to the town made securing it more difficult than it originally seemed.

  When I got to the end of the hedges, I peered around and caught a glimpse of a boat just past my house and partially hidden by my giant oak tree. The engine wasn’t running, but the boat wasn’t anchored. It appeared to be moving with the flow of the bayou. A second later, the engine fired up and the boat took off away from my house. I ran to the edge of the water but barely caught a glimpse of the back of it before it rounded a corner in the bayou.

  I headed back inside and waved Ida Belle and Gertie into the downstairs bathroom as it was in the center of the house and contained no windows.

  “It was a white ski boat with blue and red stripes,” I said. “That’s all I could see before they took off.”

  “But they were stopped behind your house?” Ida Belle asked.

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “I think they cut their engine right before they got here, then drifted back down the bayou.”

  “So your security camera wouldn’t have caught them,” Ida Belle said.

  “No,” I said. “Which I’m sure was intentional. I couldn’t get a good look from the hedges, either. I ran to the edge of the water when they took off but only saw the tail end when they rounded the corner. I saw four figures in the boat but couldn’t make out anything more.”

  “Could be kids out for a joyride,” Gertie said. “They tend to do that in boats around here rather than cars, especially if it’s sunny.”

  Ida Belle frowned. “A ski boat does sound more like kids but I can’t think of anyone in Sinful who has one that looks like that. Gertie?”

  She shook her head. “Doesn’t ring a bell. We should ask Walter. Scooter does a ton of boat repairs down at the shop. He might know.”

  Ida Belle pulled out her phone but Walter didn’t answer. She left him a message to give her a call when he had a chance and then looked back at me.

  “So I guess Gertie and I need to pack bags again?” she asked.

  “I think that’s the best idea,” I said. “We’re stronger standing together than each of us alone.”

  “Won’t Carter mind us crashing your sexy house party?” Gertie asked.

  “Carter minds all of this,” I said. “But he wants you safe, just like me.”

  “Then we best get going,” Gertie said. “I need to give Ally a call and ask if she can handle Francis a bit longer. Plus, it’s going to take me a while to pack up my goodies, and I don’t mean the eating kind although I’ll be bringing some of those as well.”

  Ida Belle nodded. “I have a couple of nonedibles that I’d like to get in here as well.”

  “Do you have another rocket launcher?” Gertie asked.

  “No. That was a onetime purchase,” Ida Belle said. “And not a cheap one, either. Honestly, I don’t even know why I bought it. I was on one of those deep web sites for gamers and military and someone had it for sale. Might have been an adrenaline high. I’d just beaten the crap out of most of them in our game.”

  “Well, I for one am thrilled you spent the money,” I said. “Still a bit surprised, but thrilled.”

  “Oh, is that a tax deduction?” Gertie asked.

  “We weren’t on a case,” I said. “And even if we had been, I’m not sure how ‘rocket launcher’ would look on a depreciation schedule.”

  “I just call everything office supplies,” Gertie said.

  “One day, you’re going to get audited and they’re going to put you in Martha Stewart prison,” Ida Belle said.

  Gertie shrugged. “I’ll just smile and play dumb. Tax evasion is illegal. Not knowing how to interpret their stupid tax law isn’t.”

  Ida Belle shook her head. “Let’s finish up lunch and get going. Fortune needs to call Carter and try to explain all of this and she doesn’t need us hanging around listening.”

  “You always make us leave when things are going to get good,” Gertie groused.

  I followed them back to the kitchen, frowning. There was nothing good about my upcoming conversation with Carter.

  Nothing at all.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I’d barely gotten Ida Belle and Gertie out of my house when I got an incoming text. Carter.

  Explosion on the highway. Are you guys home?

  I sighed.

  Yes. You better get over here.

  If Carter was alone, I could about imagine the string of expletives that were coming out of his mouth. He wasn’t going to be any happier once he had the whole story. At least this time, he couldn’t pin the blame on us. Not exactly. I mean we did sort of lie about why we really went to New Orleans but none of our trouble stemmed from that. We would have had fallout even if we’d stayed in Sinful. And it probably would have involved dead men on my lawn rather than pieces of men scattered on the highway. The second was easier to get away with.

  I heard Carter unlock the front door and call out as he entered. I already had a shot of whiskey poured for him before he even got to the kitchen. He took one look at me standing there with the shot glass and sighed.

  “How bad?” he asked.

  I gave him the shot and waited until he got it down, then motioned for him to follow me.
When I went into the bathroom, his eyes widened.

  “Are you under audio surveillance?” he asked as I closed the door behind us.

  “I’m not sure. There was a boat earlier that stopped right behind my house. With that kitchen window…”

  He nodded. “You’re right. Better to be safe. So what the hell is going on? Why are the state police scraping up bodies on the highway?”

  I told him everything that had happened, only leaving out the stuff that had to do with Natalia. When I was done, he looked as if I should have brought the rest of the whiskey bottle into the bathroom with us. He stared at me silently for so long, I was about to check his pulse. Finally, he moved toward me and gathered me in his arms, squeezing me tightly.

  “I’m so glad you’re all right,” he said when he finally loosened his grip.

  “Me too,” I said. “I have to admit, it was touch and go for a minute on the highway. If Ida Belle hadn’t bought that rocket launcher…”

  He flinched and shook his head. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear anything about that and hope to God that the team working that explosion don’t find any parts of the rocket they can identify.”

  “It was an explosion that killed people. They’re going to keep looking until they find at least part of the device.”

  “Yeah, but if those guys are part of a terrorist cell, the experts will assume something went wrong with their own equipment. Or that a rival faction took them out. Assuming they can’t locate a serial number.”

  “That would have been the first thing Ida Belle took care of. But you’re assuming they’ll be able to identify the men as part of a terrorist cell. My guess is the men and the car aren’t accounted for anywhere in this country. So what happens then?”

  “Assuming no one comes forward with a missing persons complaint that might fit, then it will probably go down as unsolved and ridiculously weird and get shoved in a box.”

  “Good enough for me.”

  “Okay, so this list your father gave you. Can I see it?”

  I shook my head. “I stashed it behind a set of lockers at the hospital.”