Timeless (ForNever)

by Rosaline Saul

  I look up at the dark swirling gathering of shadows above my head, and a feeling of fearful trepidation fills me.

  They do not attack me again, but they continue following me, and swirling about me. Deep inside I wish they would just leave me alone. I should not still be punished for a mistake I made three hundred years ago.

  Although I want to go home and I do not want to walk around in these dark caverns with the blue hues from the tanks surrounding me, I have to follow them through the rest of the aquarium. Kieran walks next to me, holding my hand tightly in his. Every now and again, he looks at me sympathetically when the clouds over my head seem to bear down on me.

  When we get to the sea horse display, Candice says, “I can share a fishy fact about seahorses.”

  I ignore her, but I notice the way Jayden looks at her. As he looks at her, a smile is playing on his lips. I feel a sharp pain in my chest, not from any physical attack, more like an emotional assault, and I wonder if he is starting to like her. How can he though? Does he like girls who present themselves on a silver platter, girls who do not wait for love, to make love?

  Candice giggles. “Seahorses mate for life.” She continues seriously, “Sadly though, these pretty little things.” She leans closer to the glass. “Are endangered, because the Chinese kill them off for some kind of medicine trade.”

  When she straightens up again, away from the tank, Jayden leans down to her and pressing his cheek to hers, he says something in her ear, which makes her smile up at him.

  I pull Kieran by the hand and we walk through the narrow passage toward the next tank.

  When we get to the largest and last display, Kieran and I sit down on the small amphitheatre steps. He leans his elbows onto his thighs, with my hand still in his. I tilt my head onto his shoulder miserably, and I say softly, “I wish we could go home; I feel tired.”

  “Of course, you do. You had an immense shock and now that the adrenaline has worked itself out of your body, you will feel sleepy.”

  I notice Jayden and Candice standing by the enormous glass plate and I bet he does like her, because as they stand there illuminated by the glow of the ocean, his hand tenderly draws the figure eight on her back.

  When eventually we walk out of the aquarium, into the open, I feel the air fill my lungs deeply. The blue heavens above me are clear and the gloom is only able to huddle around my side-lines, in a large encroaching circle. I feel incalculably free as I feel the moist air from the ocean behind me settle on my skin, and I hear the cacophony of people laughing and talking, when inside it was only the four of us. I consider this strange because people are standing in queues to get in.

  We push past the throng of people and then we all get into the car. Kieran sits close beside me, and every now and again Jayden glances back at me in the rear-view mirror.

  I pull my legs up onto the seat, and I lie down on my side, putting my head on Kieran’s lap. Gently he wipes my hair back from my face and I decide to close my eyes for just a moment.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  Jayden watches her from the dark in her room. He watches her every breath, the rise and fall of her chest. He has known her forever, followed her everywhere. Sometimes he feels as if he does not belong, he grew up in a different time and those times will always be entrenched within him, but he knows even though it goes wrong every time, he will always be with her, no matter what. Through all the years when he has sent his soul to search for her, he had witnessed her every tear, her every smile, and he always wishes he could rather be there to hold her hand and to wipe her tears. Every time she chooses Kieran, and she dies, the life she leaves behind resonates in his soul, until years later when he can sense her again, and then once again the hope that she would choose him, choose true love and not her idea of love, burns in his heart. He is truly tired of being here, tired of repeating the whole painful process.

  When Heather stirs in her sleep, she mumbles Kieran’s name, and Jayden feels the old wound in his heart open again. He feels as if he is drowning in his own sorrow.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  I wake up in my bed and wonder how I got here, when I hear a rustle in the corner of my room. I sit up quickly, my eyes still half-open.

  Jayden appears at the side of my bed and in the light from the streetlamp in front of my open window, I see him smiling down at me sadly.

  He asks softly, “Are you okay? I have been worried about you all night.”

  Sitting up completely onto my pillow, I lean back against the wall and pull my legs up to my chest. I ask confused, “What do you want? How do you keep getting in?”

  He laughs softly. “The latch on your window is broken. You should have it fixed.”

  “How did I get in my bed?”

  “Kieran brought you in. He got your keys from your bag.”

  “Why did I not wake up?”

  He shrugs. “You were out for the count.”

  Then I remember his infatuation with Candice. “What do you want, anyway? Where is Candice?”

  He sits down next to me on the edge of my bed and he folds his arm around my pulled-up knees. “Heather, are you jealous?”

  I click my tongue. “No!”

  “I know Kieran already told you about magic, but do you really understand magic is the momentum of needing or wanting something and of finding the focus for that need?” He looks at me absorbed. “To visualize or to find a ritual until finally the power reaches a climax and is released into the cosmos.”

  “Ugh. I have a headache and I am not interested in magic right now. I have a hard-enough time dealing with all this darkness that is surrounding me all the time and it is starting to impair my vision.” I look at him defensively. “I am sorry.”

  He leans closer to me, his eyes focus on my mouth, and his finger touches my lips. “You do not know how many times I have wanted to tell you, but then I always end up saying nothing.”

  I frown. “I know what you want to tell me.”

  He looks from my lips to my eyes unsure.

  “I have already figured out that you want me to choose Kieran. I know Kieran loves me, because he tells me and he shows me, so I know it will be the right choice and you do not have to tell me. He is the choice I am supposed to make so the curse can be broken.”

  He sits back, shocked. “No, Heather. No. What makes you think I am telling you Kieran is the right choice?”

  “Last night, you told me you only used to love me, so obviously you are not the one I loved before the curse and you did not love me until you were cursed to love me.”

  His eyes tighten and he looks into my eyes deeply. “I wanted to hurt you, just like being with Candice was meant to hurt you. How do you think I feel every time you choose?”

  “How do you feel?” I scoff. “You should feel fine, because I keep choosing you and that is why it keeps happening. I am supposed to choose Kieran. He feels right. He makes me feel safe.”

  “You think feeling safe is more important than loving someone, to feel attracted to someone?” He laughs sardonically. “To feel weak in the knees?”

  “Weak in the knees love do not last?”

  He asks stubbornly, “How do you know?”

  “Ugh! Why can’t you just tell me? It will make everything so much simpler.”

  “It is not supposed to be simple.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  When Jayden walks through his front door and after he closes it behind him, he does not expect to see the sphere of blue energy flying toward him. He feels a tightening in his chest, and he does not have time to react when the ball of electrical pressure hits him with full force against his upper body. He feels his feet lift off the ground as his back connects with the wall behind him, cracking loudly under his weight.

  Dazed Jayden steadies himself, ready to deal with Kieran.

  Kieran is standing across the hall, staring at him angrily. “What have you been doing?”

  Jayden smiles stunned, as a frown pulls his eyebrows together. He
sees the ball of energy in the palm of Kieran’s hand grow larger and larger, and he braces himself by constructing an invisible wall of defence around him. He demands, “Kieran! Stop this.”

  “You promised. I cannot believe I actually trusted you!”

  Jayden smiles sarcastically. “I have done nothing. I have not convinced her to love me, and she will still choose you, your mother has made sure it would always be like this. Heather wants someone to make her feel safe, and unfortunately you seem to fit the idea she has gotten into her head.”

  “Then why do you keep going there?” The ball in Kieran’s hand is growing larger and larger.

  “All we do is talk. Are you not going to grant me at least this one little thing?”

  “No! Stay away from her. If it was not that I needed you, I would have destroyed you as soon as you walked in.”

  Frustrated Kieran slings the ball of energy at Jayden, but the unseen bubble around Jayden only shudders and the blue ball of energy disintegrate into a million sparks of static electricity.

  Angry, Jayden follows Kieran down the hall to the kitchen. With his palms facing forward, he sends a pulse toward Kieran, which lifts Kieran into the air. Palms up, he pushes Kieran against the ceiling, and he says through gritted teeth, “I will talk to her. You forget, time and time again, little brother, if not for you falling in love with her after she was already betrothed to me, your mother would never have gotten the idea to curse all three of us.”

  Kieran hisses down from the ceiling as he twists and then frees himself from the invisible hold Jayden has on him. He lands gently on his feet and then he runs toward Jayden.

  As he reaches Jayden, he jumps and then he tackles Jayden to the ground. Jayden is physically stronger than Kieran and after several minutes, he has Kieran pinned to the floor.

  Holding his hand tightly against Kieran’s neck, and his knee pushed into his ribs, Jayden leans closer to Kieran’s face. He sneers, “She has already decided to choose you! Are you deaf? Instead of wasting your energies on fighting me, you should be looking for a spell breaker. Stop acting like an idiot.”

  Kieran says angrily, as he tries to push Jayden off him. “I have found it.”

  Jayden sits back and lands on his backside. Flabbergasted, he asks, “What?”

  Kieran sits up and rubs his hand against his throat. “I have found the spell breaker.”

  Confused Jayden exclaims, “So why did you not say so?”

  “I was so angry with you; I lost all rational thought.”

  “Well get over yourself. What are we supposed to do?”

  Kieran sits back against the cupboard behind him. His ribs feel tender and he can still feel Jayden’s fingers burning into the skin around his throat. He looks at Jayden triumphantly as he says, “I found it, and when I read it, I could not believe I had not thought of it myself.”

  Impatiently Jayden sighs loudly. “So, must I strangle it out of you?”

  “At Newgrange, the best known of the three great Irish passage tombs, there is a roof box situated above the passage entrance. At dawn on the winter solstice and for a few days before and after, a shaft of sunlight enters the chamber through an opening in this box on the roof. The sun then travels through the entire length of the passage, in perfect alignment.”

  “The winter solstice is still six months away. The shadows are getting hostile toward Heather, and it is as if they are not interested in waiting for her to choose.”

  Annoyed Kieran cries out, “Because you decided we should tell her everything, when I told you we should not.”

  Jayden gets up from off the floor and lifts himself to sit on the kitchen counter. He looks down at Kieran on the floor in quiet loathing.

  Kieran continues, “Anyway, we are not waiting for the winter solstice.”

  “I don’t understand. You just said...”

  Kieran interrupts him, “I was explaining to you the significance of the chamber and the passage. For the spell to work, we must do it on the opposite day. The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, while the summer solstice is the longest day. Obviously, the perfect alignment of the passage with the winter solstice would mean it had significant religious meaning for whoever built it originally.”

  Jayden exhales frustrated. “We are dealing with Black Magic here, Kieran.”

  “I know! Just listen, will you? So, if it had a noteworthy positive importance on the twenty first of December, it stands to reason that on the twenty first of June, it would have a negative importance, thus if the one day was for pure and good, the opposite would be for...”

  Jayden says softly, “Evil, immortality and malice.”

  Kieran smiles slowly. “Exactly.”

  Jayden scowls, as he says, “The summer solstice is a little more than a week away.”

  “And the reason why we do not have any time to waste, the reason I was angry when I was looking for you and I realized you weren’t here, you had gone to Heather’s house.”

  Jayden dismisses him irately. “What are we supposed to do? How is this going to work?” He feels a trepidation build up in his chest. If this works, she will choose Kieran and it will be over. He would have to carry on without her until the day he eventually dies, without the option of ever making her choose him again.

  “I will have to speak to Heather.” Kieran looks at Jayden pensively, and then he adds hesitantly, “With this spell, the curse will be broken. However, there is no guarantee Heather will survive it, and if she does not, she will eventually come back again but we will no longer be here.”

  Jayden narrows his eyes and then just because Kieran is irritating him beyond measure, he lifts his hand and swipes the air above Kieran. Kieran flies through the air, then bounces off the fridge. He falls onto his hands and knees.

  Slowly he gets up from the floor. Jayden can see Kieran summoning up the energy and power in his body to pummel Jayden.

  Jayden smirks as he slides off the counter. “I suggest you stop.” He turns and walks out of the room.

  Jayden is walking up the stairs to his room, when he hears Kieran yell from the kitchen, “Stay away from Heather!”

  Kieran had made Jayden’s existence miserable over the last three centuries. Every time Jayden thought Heather would choose him, and the curse would at last be broken, Kieran had somehow managed to get Heather to choose him.

  In the past, they fought each other many times before. In a duel, a hundred years ago, somewhere in France, they shot each other simultaneously, the bullets penetrating their hearts at the exact same time. They stood up laughing and walked away, because there were other times when they had each other’s backs. Kieran has never had to save his life, but then again, they are immortal, in the sense of eternally undying, no matter what.

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  After Jayden leaves, I decide to go down to the kitchen. I am starving and so thirsty, it feels as if my tongue is stuck to the top of my mouth.

  I am surprised to see my mom sitting by the kitchen table. “You are up late?”

  She smiles up at me. “Not really. It is only half twelve now.”

  I glance up at the kitchen clock against the wall. For some reason I imagine it to be much, much later.

  Turning to the kettle, I ask her, “Do you want a cuppa?”

  “I have one.”

  “Okay,” I say as I check the water level in the kettle and then switch it on. I clatter in the cupboard to get a mug.

  I glance at her over my shoulder. “How was your girl’s weekend?” I turn around to face her fully when I notice a warm flush spreading up her neck and into her cheeks. For a split second, I wonder if I really want to know the details.

  She smiles mysteriously, and for a very small, brief moment, my heart stops beating in my chest when I see a sparkle in her eyes. I exclaim, “Mom! No!”

  She laughs embarrassed and the flush spreads across her entire face and disappears into the roots of her hair.

  I turn toward the counter again and
I finish making my tea, while composing myself as much as I can.

  With my teacup, I walk to the table and I pull the chair across from her away from the table. As I sit down, I fold both my hands around the mug, and I look up at her nervously. In amazement, I whisper, “You met someone?”

  She denies it at first, but as I persist, she eventually confesses.

  As I watch her and I see a light glitter in her eyes, the look on her face, her happy smile, I realize love is mysterious, and nobody will ever know why we fall in love with one specific person and not another. Never will anybody know why sometimes love does not last into forever. Every now and again, although we cannot bear to live without another person, because the love we have for that person burns like fire in a mystical cavity located in the general location of our stomachs, we will outgrow them, whether they make us feel safe or reckless. We are each our own person and so we must ultimately find our very own individual destiny. Each person who enters our life and plays an important, pivotal part, no matter how brief, helps us along the way to our future.

  She tells me, “I knew David before I knew your dad, but he went away to study abroad and I suppose he met new people, broadened his horizons, while I stayed here and I grew into another direction.”

  “So, did you love this David a lot?”

  “I thought I did, but then I met your dad and I fell in love with him.”

  “I always believed you could only love one person with whom you want to spend your whole life with.”

  “Oh, Heather. There are different kinds of love, and from each of those loves we find something that is important to us.” She smiles widely. “I think, you think too much, and sometimes you should just listen to your heart and not argue with it.”

  I stare past her meditatively, as she continues, “When I saw David it was as if that old magic and chemistry between us sparked back to live.” She sees I have stopped paying attention, so she says encouragingly, “Anyway, how can I try to explain something I don’t even really understand myself.”