A Desperate Search

by Amanda Stevens

“That’s the thing. I don’t know. I certainly don’t long for my childhood, much less my high school years.”

  “No one longs for high school.” He sat down beside her on the steps and poured the whiskey.

  She turned to face him. “Unless you’re one of the golden people.”

  “The what?”

  “You know. The chosen ones. The in crowd. The same group of popular kids who runs every high school. People like you, I imagine.”

  He sat back, propping his elbows on the step above him. “What makes you think I was popular in high school?”

  “I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you. You have a certain look. All that oozing confidence. We misfits can always pick you out of a crowd.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yeah.” She lifted her drink, their gazes meeting over the rim of the glass. She glanced away.

  “Sounds a little judgmental to me,” he said.

  “I’m not judging. Just making an observation.”

  But there was an edge in her tone. Things were getting a little too personal. She was creating distance. Putting all those walls back up. Adam sipped his drink and watched the flutter of expressions across her face.

  “You still haven’t told me what happened to you today,” she said. “How did you get crossways with Eddie Bowman?”

  He allowed her to change the subject without comment. “Let’s just say it involved a rifle, two German shepherds and a swamp full of pit vipers.”

  Her eyes widened. “I’m impressed you lived to tell the tale.”

  “Do you have any idea why Dr. Wingate would be mixed up with a guy like Bowman?”

  Nikki shrugged. “Not really. But Dessie told me that Dr. Wingate and Dr. Nance had an affair some years back. She was married at the time. The divorce got messy and expensive, and when her relationship with Dr. Nance ended, she blamed him for everything.”

  “But they continued to work together?” Adam grimaced. “That must have been awkward.” His ex worked in the DA’s office and even that was too close for comfort.

  “Dessie said he tried to buy her out but she wouldn’t sell. The clinic has always been a gold mine and I guess she needed the money after a lengthy custody battle.”

  “And Bowman?”

  “This is just a guess, but after I left Dessie earlier, I started thinking about one of the first death scenes I attended as coroner. It was an OD. The deceased’s wife told me that he’d been able to get his hands on an endless supply of drugs, opioids mostly, because he knew a guy who had a deal with a doctor.”

  “The guy was Eddie Bowman?”

  “She called him the junkman. I thought junk as in drugs. It never occurred to me at the time that she was referring to Bowman or that the doctor in question might have been Dr. Wingate. But it makes sense if the divorce wiped her out financially. She doesn’t strike me as the type who could get along on a budget. And she certainly doesn’t appear to be hurting for money now. It would also explain why she’s so anxious to get her hands on those files. Maybe Dr. Nance found something that could incriminate her.”

  “It would also explain a few other things,” Adam said. “She and Bowman were arguing when I saw them together this afternoon. She threw an envelope at him. I didn’t get a look at the contents, but I’m guessing it was some kind of payoff.”

  “Payoff for what, I wonder.”

  “That’s the question. Blackmail, maybe. Or something more insidious like murder for hire, if this guy is as bad as you say he is.”

  “You think she hired Bowman to kill Dr. Nance?”

  “It’s a theory. A big guy like that wouldn’t have any trouble manhandling Dr. Nance into his boat, especially if he’d been drugged.”

  “We have no proof of any of this,” Nikki said.

  “Not yet we don’t,” Adam agreed. “The thing is, he claimed to know that I’m a cop. He said no one moves into this town without him knowing about it. He could have just been blowing smoke, but it makes you wonder. Maybe someone found out that Dr. Nance contacted me and asked me to come down here to look into things. Maybe that same someone told Bowman to be on the lookout for me.”

  “Dr. Wingate?”

  “It would have been easy enough for her to eavesdrop on a phone call. I’d really like to get a look inside Bowman’s office. See if I can find out what was in that envelope. If there’s anything tying him to Dr. Wingate, that’s where the evidence will be.”

  Nikki searched his features in the dark. “You’re not seriously considering going out there alone, I hope. I’ll say it again. Eddie Bowman isn’t someone you want to tangle with. He’s been trouble for as long as I can remember. He used to do handyman work around town. He could fix anything. People said he was the best carpenter in Nance County, but my grandmother would never allow him in her house. Like I said, she wasn’t a kind woman, but she was a good judge of character.”

  “She sounds like an interesting woman,” Adam said.

  “Interesting?” Nikki grew pensive. “Yes, I suppose she was.”

  “You didn’t get along?”

  “We didn’t not get along. We pretty much kept out of each other’s way. But that wasn’t her fault. She got saddled with me when my parents skipped town. First my dad and then my mom.”

  “Are they still alive?”

  “I have no idea.” She stirred restlessly. “I don’t want to talk about them. I want to hear more about Eddie Bowman and your theory.”

  Adam figured Eddie Bowman was pretty far down on her list of appealing topics, but anything to keep him at arm’s distance.

  “Do you think he was the guy at Dr. Nance’s cabin the other night?” she asked.

  “That’s a fair bet,” Adam said with a nod.

  “And yet you want to go back out to the salvage yard and snoop around some more.” She gave him an accusing look. “You know what I think? I think you like living on the edge. Not me. I like things quiet.”

  He shot her an amused glance. “I don’t know if I buy that. Taking those photographs this afternoon was pretty damn risky. But I agree that quiet can sometimes be nice.” He gestured toward her backyard. “It’s certainly peaceful out here. And fragrant with all the roses. You’ve a green thumb, apparently.”

  “Hardly. I didn’t plant any of this. I’m a little surprised I’ve been able to keep the garden alive. I’m better with dead things.”

  “Pun intended, I assume.” He leaned back on his elbows again. “Why did you choose pathology as a specialty? You didn’t want the glory of being a surgeon?”

  “I’m like you—I like puzzles. I like looking for clues and signs that everyone else has missed. There’s a great deal of satisfaction in finding something that makes all the pieces snap together.”

  She was passionate about her work. He could hear that in her voice. “And your job as coroner?”

  “Oh, I got railroaded into that one. The position was vacant and Tom Brannon saw a sucker. He and Dr. Nance persuaded a judge to appoint me to the position until a special election could be held. That was nearly two years ago.”

  Adam said a little too casually, “You and Tom Brannon seem pretty tight.”

  She frowned. “I wouldn’t go that far. We’re friends. We work well together. Beyond that...” She shrugged again. “He’s a good guy who happens to be engaged to Riley Cavanaugh’s sister.”

  “Small world.”

  “Small town.” She took another sip of her drink. “My turn to ask the questions.”

  “Fire away.”

  She gave him a sly look. “You’re a cop of a certain age. Early to midthirties, I’d guess. There must be at least one ex-wife in your past.”

  “It’s a myth that the divorce rate among law enforcement personnel is higher than the national average.”

  “So...no ex-wife?”

  “Ex-fianc
ée,” he conceded. “She broke off the engagement a few months ago.”

  “She broke it off? What happened?”

  His first inclination was to clam up the way Nikki had about her parents, but then he thought, what the hell? He hadn’t talked honestly about the breakup to anyone, even his shrink. Maybe he was due a cathartic heart-to-heart. “The shooting took a toll on our relationship. The surgeries, the long recovery, the months of physical therapy. It was grueling. And Steph has never been the most patient person even in the best of times.”

  Nikki looked appalled. “She left you because you were injured?”

  “Looking back, the breakup had been brewing for a long time. My injuries and the long recovery just brought everything to a head.” Funny how he could talk about it now as if it had happened to someone else. He felt an interesting sense of detachment. “The investigation into the shooting got swept under the rug because a politician’s kid was involved and powerful people pulled a lot of strings. I didn’t like it and said so. Loudly. The powers-that-be decided to delay my reinstatement until I adjusted my attitude. Stephanie caught some flak at the DA’s office because of me. I think that’s when she decided to end things for good.”

  Nikki said nothing, but her fierce gaze said a lot. Or was he only imagining the angry glint in her eyes? Maybe he was seeing what he wanted to see. It was gratifying to have someone on his side for a change. Someone he trusted and admired. Someone he might even be falling for a little bit.

  “I’m sorry that happened to you,” she finally said. “It must have been painful. But sometimes things work out for the best.”

  He gazed back at her. “Sometimes they do.”

  The moon was just rising over the treetops. Nikki closed her eyes and tipped her face to the pale light. “I have a confession to make.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  “I never said anything, but I remember you now. From that summer, I mean.”

  “It’s about damn time.”

  She laughed. The sound was light and melodic for such a serious woman.

  Right then and there, Adam decided he was going to kiss her. He could just say good-night, get up and leave, and the evening would end pleasantly enough. But she leaned into him. Even placed her hand lightly on his knee. And that was all he needed. The kiss was definitely going to happen.

  He relaxed and enjoyed the anticipation. The lightning bugs were out and the crickets. He could smell roses in her hair and honeysuckle from the neighbor’s fence.

  “You said we first crossed paths at the Ruins, but that’s not true,” Nikki said. “I first saw you at the lake. You were doing backflips off the bridge.”

  He nudged her good-naturedly. “Tell the truth. Were you impressed?”

  “Very impressed,” she said earnestly. “You had long hair back then. And you were very tanned. All lean and sinewy muscles.” She caught herself then. “That’s the whiskey talking.”

  He grinned and replenished her glass. “Keep going.”

  “After that, I saw you at the Ruins. You tried to talk to me once, but—”

  “You shut me down.”

  “I was shy and insecure. I kept my guard up.”

  “I think that guard is still up,” he said.

  “Maybe it is, but I’m not the same person I was back then. The girl you saw at the Ruins is gone forever.”

  “I hope that’s not true. She was pretty damn fascinating.”

  “Most people would say I was just plain weird.”

  He scoffed. “Most people are afraid of their own damn shadows. They don’t know how to react to someone who marches to her own drummer. I think that girl is still in there somewhere.”

  “Adam...” She turned to him. “What are we doing?”

  “Having a conversation.”

  “You know what I mean. This banter. This...flirting. It’s not real life. It’s the whiskey and maybe a bit of adrenaline.”

  “So?”

  “Don’t you think we should call it a night?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “No,” she admitted. “And that worries me.”

  “Relax. Nothing’s going to happen unless you want it to happen.”

  “That’s the thing, though...” She turned back into him, lips parted invitingly, moonlight glinting in her eyes.

  One minute, they were gazing knowingly at each other, and the next, she was astride him on the steps, kissing him fiercely as she tore at his shirt.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Somehow they made it into the house, stumbling up the steps, crashing recklessly into walls and then pausing in the kitchen for a kiss that ended with her on the counter, arms over her head as he tugged off her top. His shirt hung open. She slid it down his arms and threw it aside.

  They were both breathing heavily by this time. Impatient and greedy, Adam nuzzled her neck and then her breasts as she leaned back on her hands. He unfastened her jeans and yanked them down her legs. She kicked out of them and then found his zipper.

  It was wild. Exhilarating. Totally out of control. It had been too long, Nikki thought, and she slid off the counter. They dropped to the floor, laughing at her scraped elbow and his bumped knee, and then kissing, kissing, kissing. In a flash, she was astride him again, pushing aside her underwear to take him in.

  * * *

  “DAMN, NIKKI.”

  “I know.”

  They lay panting side by side on the cold tile.

  “I really wasn’t expecting the evening to end like this,” she said.

  “Gives new meaning to the term ‘going out with a bang.’”

  They lay on their backs gazing up at the ceiling, not quite touching as their breathing steadied. After a bit, Nikki reached for her jeans and shimmied into them. Adam did the same, and then they both lay back on the floor, not overly comfortable with one another, but not awkward, either. Nikki felt a little giddy. She wondered if it was the whiskey or the sex that made her feel so loose.

  “What are you thinking?” Adam finally asked.

  “The truth? That I’ll never be able to sit at that counter without thinking of you with your pants down around your ankles.”

  “That’s blunt. And you’re welcome, by the way.”

  She laughed and couldn’t seem to stop. “I think I’m drunk.”

  “On a few sips of whiskey?”

  “How else do you explain the insanity?”

  “Which part? The giggling or the kitchen sex?”

  “All of it. I’m normally a very serious person.”

  He rolled onto his side and propped his elbow on the floor. “You have a serious job. But there’s no harm in having a little fun now and then.”

  “That’s not altogether true,” Nikki said as she rubbed the back of her elbow. “We could have sprained something.”

  “We’re not that old.”

  She sat up and stretched, and then reached for her top. “Maybe we should at least move to a more comfortable location. These tiles are hard and cold. Or, you know, we could just call it a night.”

  “You’re kicking me out?” he asked lazily.

  “No. I’m giving you an easy exit.”

  “Maybe I don’t want an easy exit.” He finished dressing and then pulled her to her feet. “Come on. We left the whiskey out on the steps.”

  “Whiskey is the last thing I need right now,” Nikki said. “I have work tomorrow.”

  “Just a nightcap and then I’ll be on my way.”

  They went back outside and sat down on the steps. The breeze drifting through the garden was warm and fragrant, perfumed now by the moonflowers that had opened to the night.

  The whiskey went untouched. They sat in moonlit silence until Adam finally said, “I also have a confession to make.”

  Nikki turned with a scowl. “If you tell me
you’re married, I’ll shoot you with your own gun.”

  He waggled his ringless finger. “Ex-fiancée, remember?”

  She exaggerated her relieved sigh. “What’s the confession?”

  “I wasn’t really surprised the other night at the Ruins when you found that watch.”

  Her head snapped around. “What? You knew the watch was there?”

  “Let me rephrase that. The watch surprised me, but not the hiding place. I knew about that loose floorboard.”

  Her heart thudded as their gazes met in the dark.

  “I came across it that summer while searching for clues. There was a notebook inside. A journal.”

  She closed her eyes briefly. “I always wondered. It’s like how you can tell when someone has been in your house. I just knew somehow.” She stared up at the moon. “You read it?”

  “Yes.”

  “All of it?”

  “I found a handwritten journal hidden beneath the floorboards of an abandoned mental hospital. What do you think?”

  She glanced back at him. “You didn’t say anything that summer. Why tell me now?”

  “Because I don’t like secrets.”

  She dropped her gaze to the garden, where shadows danced gently against the fence. “So you’ve known all along what I did.”

  “I know that you talked to Riley Cavanaugh on the night she disappeared. You may have been one of the last people to see her alive and yet you never went to the cops. Yeah, I know all that. But for what it’s worth coming from me, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  He sought her gaze in the moonlight, but she avoided the contact, keeping her focus on the shadows instead. “I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but I didn’t do the right thing, either. She came to me that night. Me. Because I was the only one who could help her. At least that’s what she thought. She and her friends had been dared to go out to the Ruins and she said she wanted to make sure the place was safe. She’d heard that I went out there a lot. She asked if I’d ever seen Preacher there. But that’s not really why she came to me. She wasn’t seeking reassurance. She was scared and she wanted me to give her an easy out. A way to save face with her friends. But instead, I told her she should take the dare. There was nothing to be afraid of at the Ruins. It was a beautiful place by moonlight.”