The Accident at 13th and Jefferson - Book 1 Only

by Brenda Carlton

  Chapter 1.4

  Tom knocked on Elaine’s front door and waited. It had been almost two decades since he was in the dating game. He shook out his shoulders, and pasted his biggest, cutest, friendliest smile on his face. The trick was simple. Just act as if you already knew that she was thrilled to see you and don’t give her a chance to consider otherwise. It always used to work.

  When Elaine opened the door and saw Tom, she said, “Is everything OK? Is Josh OK?”

  It wasn’t the reaction the Tom was hoping for, but he smiled even wider and said, “Oh, sure. I came to see you. How’re you doing?”

  “Oh.” She looked confused, but she said, “Well, come on in then.” She was wearing jeans and an attractive blue sweater that Tom was very careful not to look at directly. He stepped into the living room and said, “Your house is lovely. I can’t remember the last time I was inside. I think you must have done some new decorating.”

  The house did have a certain feel to it. Soft and cozy, but not overly girly. Certainly everything seemed like it was planned to look coordinated, with lots of shades of rose and green. He felt her pause, so he pushed on with, “It must be hard for you, doing it all yourself. I wonder if there is anything I could do to help you out.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t think much is different since you’ve been here. Maybe a few pillows or something.”

  “You’re very talented. Don’t be so modest,” he said.

  Max was on the couch, watching TV. “Hi Max,” Tom said, tilting an imaginary hat in Max’s direction.

  Max looked at Tom, chuckled, and said, “Hey. Dude.”

  “Max,” said Elaine. “Your manners.”

  “Mom!” said Max, mimicking her tone, with a hint of shaking his head as though at a silly child. “Your slip is showing.” Then he broke into a wide grin and started to giggle.

  “I apologize,” Elaine said to Tom, pointedly ignoring Max. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

  Undaunted, Tom said, “No problem. Are you going to keep me standing by the door all night?” He was still smiling affectionately, as though they’d already been close for a long time.

  “This is going to be good,” Max said to no one in particular.

  “Come on out in the kitchen,” Elaine said to Tom with a sideways look at Max that seemed to signify that this was not what he thought. Of course, it was exactly what he thought, but Tom didn’t care. Step one was accomplished. He was in her house, hanging out around the kitchen table, which was probably farther than most other guys ever got with her.

  Elaine offered him coffee and fresh brownies. She definitely had more going for her than the fact that she was the only single woman of an appropriate age that Tom knew. Attractive, smart, and a good homemaker, and she seemed to have some money too. Probably good in bed, he surmised, since she seemed to be good at everything else. She caught his eyes wandering over her figure when she turned to ask him how he liked his coffee. Oops.

  “Tom, we’re just friends,” she said. “Bonnie’s only been gone a few months.”

  “Hey, friends are a good thing,” said Tom, trying to recover from his gaffe. “Let’s just see what develops. No pressure or anything.”

  “Nothing is going to develop,” she said. “Put that thought right out of your mind.” She paused to make sure he got the point and then said, “But I’ve wanted to talk to you about how Josh is doing. I’m concerned about him.”

  “Yeah. Being a single parent is tough.”

  “I know. I’ve been doing it for fourteen years.”

  “How come?”

  “What do you mean, how come?”

  “Why didn’t you ever get married?”

  “Oh. I’d rather not talk about it.”

  “Do you like girls?” Tom thought he’d better get that possibility out of the way from the beginning.

  Elaine laughed, but her eyes glared at the same time. “No. It’s not that.”

  “So, what is it then? You’re cute as a button. There must have been guys interested.”

  “Don’t you think you’re being a little pushy?”

  “Nope. I’m just making conversation,” Tom said. “People generally like to talk about themselves. For example, is there something wrong with me? Do I have cooties or something?”

  “There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you. You’re not my type. That’s all.”

  Tom heard Max snickering behind the wall by the doorway. “I was thinking,” Tom said, more for Max’s benefit than for Elaine’s, “that we could do something with the kids, like take them go-cart racing or something. They’d have a good time.”

  The snickering stopped. Max came into view. “Mom, please?” he said.

  “Max, were you invited into this conversation?” she said.

  “I’m sorry. But please?”

  Josh’s head appeared around the same wall. “Yeah, please, Aunt E? I know he’s a dork, but you could just pretend to like him for a day.”

  Tom gave Josh a dirty look, and Josh grinned at him and said, “You’re real smooth Dad. Trying to hit on the neighbor lady with kids around.”

  Tom gave up. His facial expression and posture changed back into a more natural state. “What are you doing here anyway?” he said to Josh.

  “Spying on you.”

  Tom sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said to Elaine. “You can’t blame a guy for trying, can you?”

  “I’m flattered,” said Elaine. “Not interested, but flattered.”

  “That’s all very nice but what about the go-cart races?” said Max. “We still want to go.”

  “It’s OK with me,” said Elaine. “Do you still want to go?” she asked Tom.

  “Sure. Why not?”

  The boys cheered and roughhoused their way back into the living room.

  “So, seriously, how is Josh doing?” Elaine asked when they were gone.

  “Seriously, better than I am. I hate to admit it.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. I miss her too. Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Besides marry me? Just kidding,” said Tom. Elaine gave him a beautiful smile. He wanted to touch her. “No. I mean there’s nothing anyone can do. I have to try harder to get the hang of being the serious parent. I was always the fun parent.”

  “You could try to be both at the same time.”

  “Is that what you do?”

  “Kind of. The trick is, you have to read what he needs at a given time, not what would make you feel better. He needs to know that someone is still taking care of him, but not too much. That you like him enough to want to have fun with him, but that some things are serious. It’s a tricky balancing act.”

  “Wow. How did you learn that?”

  “I did my research. I didn’t have a father either and my mother thought I wasn’t interesting until I was old enough to have political arguments. I wanted to do it better.” Elaine sighed, and straightened her hair.

  “Hmm. I don’t think either of my parents ever had a political argument. The day-to-day stuff was more than they could handle, without worrying about the fate of the world. My Dad was the type that thought kids were the woman’s problem. I guess I didn’t fall too far from that tree. All Mom cared about was which of her sisters said what to who, behind somebody’s back, the stuck-up hussy. You get the idea.”

  “Are your parents still living?”

  “No. They died within a year of each other, in their early sixties, from lung cancer and a heart attack.

  “I’m sorry. So, maybe you can’t model your parenting skills on your own parents. So you need a new model.”

  “Right. That’s interesting. But see, I uh, damn, I’m not used to talking about this kind of stuff, um, what I’m trying to say is, well, it just doesn’t feel like me, to be strict about housework or homework, or anything like that. I always hated that stuff too. It’s like I’m a big phony.” T
om made a face like he smelled something nasty.

  “Oh, I see your point. So you want to get a new wife as soon as possible to take over the chores.”

  “Damn, Elaine. You don’t miss a trick do you?”

  “So what does the lady get out of this deal?”

  Tom chuckled. “Somebody to have fun with. Sex. A date for the Christmas party at work.”

  Elaine laughed. “I guess that’s not so bad.”

  Tom said, “So come on Elaine. I spilled my guts to you. Tell me the truth about why you aren’t interested in dating anyone.”

  “All right. I guess that’s fair.” Elaine nodded toward the back door, and motioned for Tom to follow her out onto the patio.

  “Jeez, why all the cloak and dagger?” he said, when they took their seats at the patio table.

  “This isn’t any of the kids’ business,” she said. “So here’s the situation. I can’t have the man I really want, and I’m not interested in anyone else.”

  “Is it Max’s father?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you still seeing him in secret?” Tom said.

  “No. I haven’t seen him for years. Since before Max was born, actually.”

  “And you’re still carrying the torch? I’m not saying this to hit on you, but really, isn’t that too long to pine over the one that got away?”

  “He is someone special.”

  “Yeah. Right. So special that he doesn’t want to know his son. He sounds like a creep to me.” Tom instantly regretted being so abrupt when he saw the flash of pain on her face. “No offense,” he added hopefully.

  “It’s a complicated situation,” said Elaine.

  “Do you by any chance have a beer around here somewhere?” Tom asked.

  “Sorry. I have some wine,” she said.

  “Yes please,” said Tom. When she returned with it he took a sip, a strange taste he hadn’t had for years. He kind of liked it though. Elaine just watched his face and laughed.

  “Is he married to someone else?” Tom asked, swirling his wine around in the glass.

  “No. Surprisingly enough, he never got married either.”

  “So that gives you hope, I suppose. He’s somewhere wishing he had you too. Is that it?”

  “Maybe. I don’t have to explain myself to you,” said Elaine rather resentfully. “You’re the one trying to move on too fast.”

  Tom ignored that remark. Her story was more interesting than his. “Maybe he’s gay,” he said.

  “I don’t think so. It’s not that. I really can’t tell you anymore.”

  “Hey, you were giving me advice. Now let me give you some. No guy is worth that much sacrifice. We’re really not all that different on the inside. Fairly simple creatures, really.”

  Elaine laughed and Tom felt a pull of affection. He was dragging out the conversation, and forcing himself to be more revealing than he ever was with anyone else because he was enjoying being with her so much. It was funny how she liked him better when he wasn’t putting on a show. He found that very confusing.

  “You guys are different on the outside then. In lots of ways,” she said.

  “In the physical appearance department, you mean? And in the equipment department?”

  She laughed again. He wished he could hear her laugh every day.

  “You know what I mean. Different careers, different skills, different amounts of knowledge on different subjects. You compete with each other over everything. Sports. Business. Politics. Religion. If you’re all so much alike, why can’t any of you ever get along?”

  “Oh, that. That’s just what we do to keep busy between meals and rolls in the hay.”

  She laughed again. “So I should take any man who’s available? There’s no difference really, is that it?”

  “The only difference that matters is whether he really loves you or not.”

  “I never thought I’d hear a guy say that.” Elaine looked amazed.

  “I never thought I’d say that either. I took Bonnie for granted and now she’s gone. I’ll always be sorry I didn’t try harder to make her happier.”

  “I think she was usually happy. Most of the time. Nobody’s life is perfect,” said Elaine, feeling a little more charitable toward Tom.

  “Thank you. That’s a very kind thing to say.”

  “I mean it.”

  “Hey, I think I should get going. Thank you for the coffee and brownies, and the conversation. I really enjoyed myself.” Tom rose and opened the sliding door for Elaine.

  To his surprise, she gave him a peck on the cheek. “I did too,” she said. “Don’t forget about taking the kids go-carting. Maybe this weekend.”

  “He’s not worth it,” Tom said. “Whoever he is.”

  “You really don’t know anything about it,” said Elaine.

  Josh climbed down from the side of the tub, where he had been standing to eavesdrop on the entire conversation from the bathroom window, and went back to Max’s room.

  “I think my Dad and your Mom are trying to hook up,” he told Max.

  “Do we want them to?” said Max.

  “I do,” said Josh.

  “I do too,” said Max. “Let’s try to push them together from both our sides. Piece of cake.”

  “Deal,” said Josh.

  Tom decided to keep the appointment that Josh had made for him with the principal, even though it meant missing another half day of work. To Tom’s surprise, he seemed like an OK guy. Not the stuck-up, know-it-all, virtuously-mean type that Tom vaguely expected anyone in authority at a school to be. After the condolences and the pleasantries were over, Dr. Lowan got to the point. “Mr. Greenwood, I’m glad you could find the time to come in, because we’re all concerned about Joshua.”

  Tom stiffened in expectation that he was about to get a scolding for being a bad parent, which he already knew, but he didn’t want to hear it from someone else.

  Lowan continued, “We’ve had other students at this school who have suffered the loss of a parent, and some of them have had significant emotional problems, so we’re trying to keep a close eye on Josh. I have to say, you must be doing something right. He’s doing much better than any of us expected.”

  Tom was too surprised to answer. Lowan waited for Tom to comment and when nothing was forthcoming he went on, “Has he been in private counseling?”

  “No. Is he supposed to be?” Tom said, thinking that this was the part he had probably screwed up.

  “Well, that’s your call. I just thought that he must be getting help somewhere, given how well he seems to be adjusting.”

  “Oh. Well, I never thought about it. Now that you mention it, the doctor said something about that when my wife died. I forgot all about it.”

  “Mostly, I wanted to talk to you about the counseling services that are available through the school district, to see if you needed that kind of help from us. What do you think?”

  “Well, I appreciate your concern, I really do. But no one else can miss his mother for him, can they? I don’t see where the benefit is, honestly,” said Tom.

  “If he just misses his mother, the poor kid, he’s doing great. You never know. Some kids are tortured by guilt, because they couldn’t save them, or maybe lose their ability to trust anyone, because they might die too, for example. Those are the kind of things to watch out for.”

  “Oh, right, I see what you mean. This is interesting, actually. He doesn’t trust me, but he never did. I don’t think he feels guilty, but I’m going to check that out.”

  “Why doesn’t he trust you, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “Because I’m not very dependable. I never was.”

  Lowan laughed. “You’re all he’s got now, from what he tells me, so you might want to work on that just a little bit. You are as honest as the day is long, I must say that. That’s a good sign.”

  “Jeez, man, you’re embarrassing me,” said
Tom.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Ok, I’ll tell you one thing that I think might be a problem. I think sometimes he’s mad at his mother for leaving him and at me for being the one who lived, even though his mind knows that no one did any of this on purpose. But to me that seems like a perfectly natural reaction.”

  “Yes, it is. That’s well recognized as one of the stages of the grieving process.”

  “Oh,” Tom said. “I didn’t know that there was such a thing as stages of the grieving process.”

  “You might want to read up on it. I can recommend some books.”

  “OK, thanks. Maybe there is more to all this psychology stuff than I thought. I always thought it was like paying money to someone to tell you to behave yourself and eat your peas.”

  Lowan laughed again. He seemed to be actually enjoying himself. “A lot of people think that. But it can be very helpful. I was trained as a psychologist before I became an educator. Although the truth is that I mostly wanted to see for myself if there were any major problems here, and then I would’ve tried hard to convince you to get some professional support.”

  “So you don’t really think there is any major problem?” asked Tom. He was trying hard to keep up with the rapid influx of impressions: that there were people who studied such things, that he was dumb for not knowing about any of that, but that he seemed to be doing well anyway, that there were things he needed to watch Josh for, but that Josh had already passed all those tests.

  “I don’t think so. But let me ask you a question. You don’t have to answer unless you feel comfortable.”

  “OK,” said Tom.

  Dr. Lowan’s phone rang but he pushed a button to silence it. “How do you feel about being a single parent?”

  “If you really want to know the truth, I feel, uh, like I, I guess something like I’m in fifth grade and this is a senior assignment. Being responsible for shaping someone is too far above me. I left that up to my wife. I always thought that was how nature worked. It just comes naturally to the women.”

  “You’re instincts are basically good. I can tell that from talking to Josh,” said Dr. Lowan. “What you seem to be missing is accepting that the job has fallen to you now. Getting used to the big change in your life. That takes some time, I know.”

  “I really do want to do right by Josh. I just don’t feel like I know what I’m doing, so I try mostly to leave well enough alone, so I don’t mess anything up.”

  “Here’s something I’ve noticed in my line of work. The parents who really mess up the job--and sometimes it’s worse than you could possibly imagine--they’re the ones that never think it’s their fault. But you’re just being hard on yourself. Maybe you needed some time to mourn for your wife before you took up a new challenge.”

  “That’s a very kind thing to say,” said Tom.

  “Please feel free to contact me if you want any advice. I can recommend books, and give you names if you want.”

  “All right. Thank you.”

  Tom thought for a minute and then decided to blurt out something that was really on his mind, to his own surprise. “So now, since you’re an expert and everything, can I ask you about something else?”

  “Sure. If it’s not too terribly personal. I can only go so far as a principal,” said Dr. Lowan.

  “OK, so let’s see if you can field this ball. How do I get a very nice woman I know, who already is like a mother to Josh, to consider dating me instead of pining away for a man who left her many years ago?”

  “Well. That was a radical change of subject.” Dr. Lowan thought for a moment. “Psychology isn’t about making someone else do something you want. But since I like you, and since it is an interesting question, I’ll give you some hints. Here is what not to do. Don’t try to tell her not to feel that way about him, or that he was no good anyway, or in any way try to talk her out of feeling how she feels. That will just make her argue with you in her own mind. Give her some sympathy for what she’s been through, maybe, if you can do it genuinely. She’ll know if you’re faking it. And she won’t give up on loving a memory until she’s ready. There’s nothing else you can do.”

  Tom looked at him in amazement. “That’s so obvious. Why didn’t I see it that way?”

  “Not really. It’s only putting treating others the way you would like to be treated yourself into action. It’s just inside knowledge about how people really like to be treated.”

  “Even women.” Tom said it as a confirmation, not a question.

  “Good Lord, man. Especially women. And children.”

  “Right. Well, then. This has been very educational. I thank you for your time.”

  “You are extremely welcome. Would you like to stop in again in a few months to touch base? Besides the regular teachers’ conferences, I mean?”

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  “Stop by the desk on the way out and Mrs. Clancy will give you the reading list.”