A Check for a Billion

by Vasily Mahanenko

  In order to gain enough elo, I was forced to unload the orbship entirely. The raq, the extra seats, a bunch of the partitions. Any space capable of holding a container with elo was taken into account. I even left the cacodemons at the orbital station, sending them into stasis. Their pen offered ample space for more fuel.

  “There should be enough for a return flight,” Brainiac assured me, calculating our elo supply. “There is even a small reserve in case we need to make a couple of stops. Captain, I must say that I have never jumped so far. I am not sure we will handle the load.”

  “We’ll have to risk it.” There was no way out. I had to go check out the planet — if anything, because Eunice didn’t believe me. “Make the calculations…”

  The orbship did great. Several times during our flight the measured rumble of the engines stuttered, causing anxious muttering from the engineer, but on the whole our trip went by without a hitch and two hours and twenty minutes later, we appeared not far from a beautiful green planet with several tiny moons. A standard yellow dwarf shone at the center of the system and there were a couple of outer planets that stabilized it. And that was it.

  No orbital stations, no flying fortresses, no vengeful Queen. Nothing at all. A scan revealed not so much as a stray fighter. Nor were there any dispatchers screaming at us when we appeared. The Zatrathi homeworld was like any other virgin planet, just discovered by the player.

  “Captain, I am picking up facilities on the planet’s surface. There is a city here!”

  “Let’s land then. We’ll go check it out. Everyone be ready to deal with any air defenses!”

  Until the last moment, I thought that they would start shooting at us and so first I ordered Brainiac to hang out in the higher orbit around the planet, then the middle one and only then enter the atmosphere. I figured it would be harder to intercept us that way, even if ground-based defenses would have an easier time of hitting us. However, we did not encounter any obstacles at all.

  The planet’s defenders did not seem concerned with the sparkling orb descending from the sky. Unable to locate a spaceport, we landed right in the middle of the central square of a huge metropolis. All the familiar types of Zatrathi came out to meet us: slugs, warriors, black fogs and even a couple of guards. Frozen in place and with their heads craned back, they watched our landing, without making any attempts to interfere.

  The ship was surrounded on all sides. At first it was a little scary, but when the locals went on behaving like ordinary onlookers, I breathed a sigh of relief. The warriors’ faces were funny looking to begin with, but now, distorted by their astonishment, they made me want to laugh outright. The Zatrathi touched the hull, chattered among themselves, shook their limbs and politely stepped aside to let those behind them take a look. When little Zatrathi kids began to appear, I realized that they were not afraid of me at all and that I could safely go outside. The children were drumming on the orbship, apparently having decided that it was some kind of toy. There was no aggression whatsoever. Only surprise and healthy curiosity.

  I ventured outside and my appearance set off a commotion. The warriors rattled and clicked their mandibles, the slugs squealed and even the fogs made a strange humming. Everyone seemed surprised by the humanoid in the armor suit.

  And yet I was far more surprised when, barely having set foot on the planet, I received a notification:

  You are the first player to land on Haldon.

  Do you wish to claim the planet for yourself?

  Warning! Haldon has neither a planetary spirit, a binding point, nor a respawn point.

  Everything sank inside of me. Eunice was right — there was no prize check here. Just like there was no Queen. I’d found a dummy planet full of Zatrathi civilians. They were exiled here many millennia ago. They bred, built megacities, established industry, but hadn’t yet entered the space age.

  On top of this, Brainiac couldn’t understand their language. The natives understood neither the common tongue, nor Zatrathi, nor Uldan. They just clicked their mandibles, chattered, gurgled, and chirped without understanding what I was saying. Technologically, this planet was still in the steam age. No electronics to speak of, especially computers. It was time to head back. Especially once they began to bring presents to the orbship. I guess they decided that it was a god or the creator’s messenger or something. Flowers, animal hides, some useless sculptures, precious crystals. The latter interested me and I picked up a couple for Eunice, causing an enthusiastic buzzing among the locals. However, they had nothing else to offer me. Neither elo, nor raq, nor some marginally useful device. Only flowers and crystals.

  Still unwilling to believe in the tremendous failure of my mission to find the Zatrathi homeworld, I made several orbits around the planet, scanning it every possible way I could. Living creatures, forests, oceans and nothing more. It was indeed a dummy, a dead end.

  “Brainiac, set course for Belket,” I ordered, resigning myself to defeat. The time had come to play my strongest trump card.

  “Lex, where are you right now?” The call from Eunice came through about twenty minutes before we were to emerge from hyperspace. “Drop everything and come to these coordinates. I just sent them to you. The Zatrathi Queen is unhappy about something and is assembling all her mercenaries. Just so you know, I’m working for her now and I’ve put in a word for you. She promised to give you a chance, so don’t blow it. The Qualian players have been notified. They’ll let our ships pass without any questions. The meeting is in two hours. I’ll be waiting!”

  I stared dumbly at the PDA for a moment. A note of triumph had sounded in my wife’s voice. So that’s the way it is…My wife believes that she hit the jackpot by switching to the Queen’s side. This is starting to look quite interesting. I looked at the message pensively. The coordinates were in the capital system of the Qualian Empire. But I knew for sure that the Queen was not there.

  “Orbship Warlock, prepare the ship for a full inspection!” announced Belket’s dispatcher. My relations with the Precians were a little strained, if you could call outright hostility ‘strain,’ and yet they were forced to accommodate me. As the Queenslayer, I had earned a month’s worth of peace in Galactogon.

  Taught by bitter experience, the orbship was subjected to an inspection both in orbit and on the surface. Apparently, someone had managed to leak one of the ways to infiltrate the planet. I stoically endured all the bureaucracy, only to find myself in the viceroy’s office. And then my trump card finally appeared: the third adviser of the Precian Emperor.

  “I was told that you wanted to see me.” The Precian’s tone suggested that he would be much happier doing anything at all other than speaking to me. “You have a minute.”

  “I’m tired of being an outcast. I want to join the Precian Empire.”

  Over my two-hour-long flight I had outlined our conversation and now I was sticking to my plan.

  “You don’t think it’s too late?” the adviser smirked, yet added: “Do you know the conditions?”

  “Turn over all the pirate bases so that you can wipe them out for good. Sure. I’m on board.”

  “You would betray your own Brotherhood?”

  “The Brotherhood is no longer mine. I was stripped of my rank and expelled. Nothing else binds me to the pirates, so I can safely share any information I have.”

  “Yes, we were aware of this,” said the adviser, admitting that he had a spy among the pirate brethren. I had no doubts about who that individual was.

  “I am pleased that you have seen reason, yet, tell me, why did you insist on meeting with me? The viceroy would be happy to accept your allegiance.”

  “Because this is not the only reason I came here. I need the brainworm that I gave you.”

  “Why? It is an utterly useless creature. Even the captain of the flying fortress, whom we have interred in suspended animation, brought us more benefit than this empty-headed Relay.”

  “In that case, you won’t lose anything by returning him to me.�
�

  “What do you offer in return?”

  “The coordinates to a planet full of Zatrathi and the open Uldan cylinder as a bonus.”

  “So you found all the answers to the riddles?” The bureaucrat’s mask almost cracked, revealing the curious archeologist underneath, but the adviser caught himself in time. “This is not enough. There are many planets in Galactogon. There is but one brainworm.”

  “The planet I speak of is one of a kind!”

  “No!”

  “Come on, adviser, you don’t even know what to do with the brainworm…”

  “But we know that you know what to do with it! I wish to see how important it is for you. The cylinder and the planet are trivial. I can feel it.”

  I hadn’t anticipated this turn of events. I really did think that the planet would be enough.

  “How about Wit-Verr? The Great Precian Empire will catch the mighty pirate lord!”

  “I will pretend that I never heard you say such an outrageous thing,” the adviser darkened. “The Brotherhood of the Jolly Roger 2.0 has seen the light. Captain Wit-Verr has united all the pirates into a single force to fight against the Zatrathi. With the Anorxians’ help we have entered into a cooperation agreement with him. And now you wish to shatter this fragile peace?”

  Hearing this, I realized why the Motherboard’s envoy had been at the pirate’s assembly. The Anorxian had spoken for all the other empires.

  “I will give you the orbship.” It took an immense effort to utter this sentence.

  “I do not need a ship that has already been thoroughly examined. Hansa reports that you have a battlesphere. If you want the brainworm, deliver her to us. I imagine that will be a fair trade.”

  “Deal!” I agreed after a brief deliberation and pulled out the access key. I had the same rights to Eunice’s ship as she had to mine. By the way, I should probably revoke those. Who knows how she’ll take this. “One condition. I need the brainworm right now!”

  “After you deliver the battlesphere.” The adviser tried to insist on his position, but I was adamant. I had no other option.

  An hour and a half later, I was in orbit around the Qualian capital, undergoing yet another customs inspection. It was a good thing I’d left the brainworm back on Zubrail. A single thought occupied me at the moment: What am I going to tell Eunice about her battlesphere? The whole situation was growing pretty awkward. When I handed it over to the Precians, my PDA exploded with calls and messages from my wife, but I had ducked those, hoping to have that conversation later.

  “The emperor is ready to receive you.” I was taken to the throne room. It had not changed much since last time, except that there was more security now. The Queen continued her conquest of Qualian hearts and minds, adding a dozen mind-controlled warriors to the emperor’s retinue. There weren’t many people in the hall, but the few that were there were very interesting indeed. There was not one NPC among them. Everyone here was a player. They wandered around, exchanging looks as if searching for acquaintances. It was a matter of time until I found some familiar faces: Vargen and Aalor. Liberium’s two top officers were keeping to the shadows under the balconies, examining the new arrivals. I wonder if they had switched to the Zatrathi side before or after the recent battle..? Upon seeing me, the two cast me looks of utter contempt, but said nothing. Before entering the hall, the guard warned that any aggression would be punished by expulsion.

  Nobody wanted to be kicked out, so Liberium’s leaders stepped away from the main group. I wanted to follow them, just to mess with them and maybe see who they were paying attention to, but I didn’t have time. The doors to the throne room opened, letting in the next batch of guests, and I immediately forgot all about Liberium. Kiddo entered the room, accompanied by my darling wife. There she is — the rat that Tryd had spoken of. If she’s a general now, she won’t be for long.

  “Where is my Lexus?!” Eunice immediately set upon me, but the guards reacted quickly. I guess some notification appeared before her because she quickly stepped back holding out her hands in a conciliatory way: “Okay, okay! There won’t be any problems! I was just kidding!”

  She had no choice but to stand there pelting me with her irate looks. Kiddo approached me next.

  “Howdy pardner! Let’s talk straight — for old times’ sake. You’re the one leaking the bases’ locations, right? We can be useful to each other.”

  “Um…” I didn’t even know how to respond to such an opener. “Actually, I’m here to find evidence against you. ‘Cause it’s you that the pirates think is the rat.”

  “Me?” Marina asked with surprise. “Cut the crap. Tryd told me quite bluntly: ‘Surgeon is acting strangely. He’s risen too fast through the ranks. Someone needs to watch him.’”

  “He told me the same thing,” Eunice joined our conversation. “Tryd believes that it is you who are leaking the bases’ locations. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was right. Especially after the trick you pulled with my Lexus!”

  “Oh don’t start,” I frowned, guiding the conversation back to the topic at hand. “You know, ladies, you’re starting to bore me. I am here to find evidence of the mole’s activity. That is, evidence that implicates you — former ‘pardner.’ And since this entire scene is starting to remind me of something from the theater of the absurd, here…”

  I sent the ladies a description of my mission and looked at them expectantly.

  “What do you say now?”

  The ladies said nothing at all and simply sent me their own mission descriptions in reply. What the hell?

  “Hey you…” I turned around and buttonholed a passing player. “Do you have a pirate mission to find a rat?”

  “Leave me alone, weirdo!” the player recoiled, jerking his arm away. “I don’t have anything!”

  My suspicions about the true purpose of the present assembly began to grow. All that was left was to verify them. Scanning around until I located Vargen, I bee-lined in his direction.

  “Do you have a mission like this too?” I sent my mission description to the Liberium’s leader. He froze for a few moments, then nodded and immediately turned to his XO:

  “Aalor, let’s go!”

  The two walked over to the doors only to discover that they were locked. I looked around. There were only players in the hall now — even the emperor and the guards had disappeared. In total, I counted about fifty people and, gradually, everyone began to figure out that something was wrong. The players began looking around, talking to each other, gesturing, growing agitated. Vargen once again tried to yank the doors open to no avail.

  “It’s a trap: Respawn!” someone yelled.

  It was not meant to be. As soon as a weapon appeared in a player’s hands, a thin beam swept from the ceiling, turning the weapon into a useless piece of raq. The armor suit which Aalor tried to put on froze — stunned by an EM blast. A few seconds later, the player came tumbling out of it.

  “What is this, some stupid NPC prank?” Kiddo and Eunice came up to us, and just then the door near the throne opened and in waddled the Anorxian with the brainworm from my last meeting. The Queen had appeared to her subjects.

  “Greetings, my mercenaries! I am glad that you have gathered at my first summons. The time has come for you to prove your loyalty. Meet the one who will lead you into the battle!”

  The Anorxian stepped aside, letting in another creature. For the majority of the present players, the newcomer was no different than any other NPC, but for the Liberium boys, for Kiddo and Eunice and for me, he was a symbolic figure indeed: For the one who now examined his army from above, was also a general of the Jolly Roger Brotherhood 2.0.

  Mission accomplished: Secret Brother Seamus. Tell Wit-Verr who the traitor is.

  “This mangy, flea-bitten bag of bones,” Kiddo cried out, finally realizing what was going on. “He’s the one who advised me to make contact with the Zatrathi!”

  “Attention everyone!” barked Tryd, and silence descended upon the hall. “The Qu
een has ordered me to recover a renegade Relay. The Precians have him, so this operation will be a serious one. The Queen has provided us with ten flying fortresses, the Qualians have added another five Arbiters, but our main strength is you! I want complete battle readiness in five hours. We will head out shortly thereafter. Whoever refuses or runs will forever forfeit our Queen’s trust. In order to ensure that no one betrays us, a remote self-destruct system will be installed on each ship. If you run, you lose your ship. The installation is already underway!”

  “You can’t!”

  “Who gave you permission?”

  “I didn’t agree to this!”

  A wave of indignation swept across the hall, even as Brainiac screamed in my ear about a modification being made to Warlock’s mainframe. He was powerless to stop the procedure.