“Gutter girl, make sure you ask my dear cousin why he’s really taking on a charity case like you! Atoning for some sins, Kieren?” His laughter echoing down the hall, my feet cemented to the floor.
I quickly drop Kieren’s hand like it was a snake about to bite. Turning my head to look at him seems to take forever like everything in my world has stopped and I’m wading through the weighted air that now surrounds us. When I finally get a look at his face, I’m confronted with a sickly look. What little bit of heart I had left completely dies. There’s no more of that dull echo. The only way I know I’m still alive is I can feel my chest expanding with each breath. His wide eyes, pale face and open mouth doing nothing for me. What could he have done?
I feel myself shut down, my face going blank and my entire body relaxing. I turn away from him and continue down the hall. I thought Ian broke my soul but I was wrong. He may have broken my mind for a bit but Kieren has broken my soul, killed my heart leaving nothing but ash behind. They are all going to burn for what they’ve done.
“Maddie, please wait! Let me explain!’’ I hear Kieran yelling behind me but I don’t stop. He catches up to me in no time with his long legs, grabbing my arm to try to stop me. I jerk my arm away as feeling comes back to me, anger igniting from my core.
“Do NOT fucking touch me or speak to me again.” I get out through gritted teeth. “Was this all some kind of long game or prank? Was it to make me feel like I have someone only to pull the rug out from under me? Well, I have news for you asshole; you, your prick cousin, and his posse can all fuck all the way off!” It feels like steam could be blowing out my ears at this point. “I promise you one thing, you’re all going to regret the day you messed with me.” With a final glare, I walk away from him without looking back. Now that I’ve said my piece there’s a strange pain in my chest. I reach up and rub my sternum to try to make it go away.
Homeroom passed with minimal stares and whispers. By my second period, AP History class, people were in full-on conspiracy theorist mode about what happened last year and why I was back now. The most ridiculous one being that I had been cheating on Ian with Kieren, got pregnant and didn’t know who the baby’s father was. I didn’t try killing myself, I was having a miscarriage. The best part was they were saying I said it was suicide because that was less embarrassing. Seriously, how are the idiots still alive?
The rest of the morning drags on until it's time for lunch. I really wish Seniors were allowed to go off campus for lunch. I just know some kind of public confrontation is going to happen. If I had to guess I would say it’s going to be one of the girls. I walk through the double doors of the cafeteria and take a look around. I’m not sure why I expect it to look different. Maybe because I feel different but nothing has changed. It’s still the same white walls with the schools black and gold stripes going all around the room. The largest wall at the back has the school emblem. Windows are spread up all around lighting the room with natural light. The tables are your typical picnic bench fold up tables. Like any school, the cliques are all divided up except the couple of floaters who seem to fit into any group. I was never one of those people, honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I sat in this cafeteria.
I go to stand in line to grab a salad, when it happens, something wet hits the back of my head. I reach behind to touch the back of my head and pull my hand to my face to see ranch dressing coating my fingers. Ugh! I turn around slowly to see who did it, even though I’m sure I know. Sure enough, its Becky standing there with a smug look on her face, hip popped to the side and her arms crossed across. Her “power stance” as I like to refer to it but now that I really look at her, she seems small and not at all intimidating.
“Really Rebecca, are we four now, throwing food during a tantrum?” I ask her, my face almost blank of all emotion. The only thing giving me away is the anger simmering in my eyes. She looks shocked that I’m not running out, crying like I used to.
“It’s real cute Fat-ison that you think you’re some kind of badass now. Did Kieren fill your head with pretty words? I can’t believe you actually thought he would like someone as pathetic as you.” She says all this loud enough for the crowd forming around us to hear. The ones closest have their phones out recording.
All I can do is roll my eyes so hard, I’m surprised I don’t see grey matter. By the sneer twisting Becky’s features now, she didn’t miss it. Totally over this, I turn back around to grab napkins and my finish getting my lunch. I’m suddenly shoved from behind, my hip hitting the counter in front of me. She grabs my hair making sure I can't turn back around. I’d really love to be able to smack her right across her face with this tray.
“Look here, gutter trash, no one cares about your sorry excuse for getting attention. Everyone here would be better off with you dead.” She growls in my ear. Her hot breath fanning across my cheek.
Just as quickly as she grabbed me, she is ripped away from me, taking a chunk of hair with her. Son of a bitch! I turn around to find Kieren in her face. Great, more shit I don’t need to happen.
“You need to stay away from Maddie. You guys did enough to her last year. She doesn’t need your petty bullshit.” His back is all tensed and he turns in a circle making eye contact with everyone gathered around.
Suddenly he turns on me grabbing my face and kissing me. I'm so shocked, I just freeze up. He kisses me like he's trying to claim me in front of everyone. I want to melt into him, a part of me awakening that I didn't know existed, but that isn't an option for us. He betrayed me, betrayed our friendship. I don't really want to believe what we had was a lie but I can't deny the doubt is there. It's poison crawling in and destroying all the memories of Kieren. I snap out of it and push him away, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Without hesitation, I rear back and punch him catching him right in the mouth. Ugh! That hurt!
"You don't have the right to touch me anymore! You didn't deserve to take my first kiss from me! I hate you, Kieren Matthews." I hate that I want to cry when I'm angry like the rage wants to leave my body in the form of tears. None of these people deserve my tears though, so I fight them back. I push my way through the crowd and out of the cafeteria. My appetite completely gone so I return to the one place I used to always run to, the library.
Chapter Three
Kieren
Holy shit, her first kiss?! Gods above! If I had known she had never been kissed before I would have made sure it was special. I needed everyone to know she was mine, mine to protect and mine to love. No one messes with what's mine. I pull my hand away from my mouth and see it’s covered in blood. No shame, that was a damn good hit and not nearly enough of the punishment I really deserve.
Maddie always caught my eye. I thought she was beautiful since freshman year but it would have been social suicide to go after her. I was too worried about being popular and a total pussy. I wish I could be what she needs but I’m selfish enough to want to keep her anyways.
I know I fucked up but I need her to hear me out. Let me explain and apologize. I wanted to kill Ian for opening his mouth. This is all his fault anyway. He blackmailed me into paying Stephen Bales into asking her to winter formal and then humiliating her. He was going to go to my parents and swim coach, make sure I lost my scholarship. It wasn't long after that she almost succeeded in killing herself. The thought that I could have lost her before I had her makes me shudder.
It made me sick to my stomach. If he hadn't caught me that one night at a party trying coke the one and only time. I shouldn't have let them pressure me into it but like every teenager, I just wanted to fit in. I’ve regretted my actions since that day.
Michelle’s Halloween Party, Junior Year...
I can’t believe I finally got invited to Michelle’s Halloween party. This is beyond exclusive! Making captain of the swim team is what cemented it with this group. I came dressed like a surfer in swim trunks but I cut a part of the leg away to look like a shark bite. Kelsey Caner, the head cheerleader, told me after our la
st swim meet that my abs were sexy, I figured why not show them off in hopes that she is here tonight. Standing in the foyer of her two-story house the music is blaring, the bass vibrating through my bones. There are kids everywhere and not just from our school, hell I even see some people here that graduated and are in college now.
I step in further to get a better look around, I see bodies pressing together dancing and grinding on each other. Half of the couples are making out right there and the rest not much further behind. There are darker corners where I’m pretty sure Ian is finger fucking his current flavor of the week. I move away to head toward what I’m hoping is the kitchen. I fist bump a couple of guys as I walk down the hallway and as luck has it, I find the kitchen. Kelsey comes bouncing over to me throwing her arms around my neck, pressing her barely covered breast against me.
“You made it!” She yells over the music. I can smell the alcohol on her, her eyes glassy and pupils are huge like she's been doing a lot more than drinking. This is Kelsey Caner though! She runs her hands down my chest and over my abs if I don't stop her everyone is going to get a view of how hard she makes me.
"Yeah babe, I came just to see you." I wink at her hoping it comes out smooth.
"You have to come over here. C.J. brought us a treat!" Grabbing my hand, she drags me over to the keg to grab a drink before taking me to the basement. It's been converted to a mini movie theater. I don't recognize the people spread out on the sectional, except for Ian's crew. What I do recognize is the white powder on the table in front of them. I've seen enough movies to know what cocaine looks like. Michelle is leaned over taking a line up her nose. Holy shit...
I'm pulled out of my shock by Kelsey tugging me over to an empty spot. Once I'm sitting she sits sideways on my lap, throwing her arms around my neck. I try to relax, act like I do this stuff every day. I've always been in the middle of rank popular but this is a top of the food chain crowd. C.J. looks up and smiles at me much like the Cheshire cat.
"Kieren! My man, you ready for a bump?" His eyes are wild and I'm guessing he's been partaking in his "treat" quite a bit tonight.
"Nah bro, I've got swim team so I can't do that stuff. I just came to hang out with Kels." I bounce my knees making her giggle.
"Come on baby, just a little bit won't hurt you. You'll feel soooooo good." Kelsey says while kissing up my neck. Damn, it takes everything not moan out loud.
Fuck, I really shouldn't do this. If the coach were to ever find out I'd not only be kicked off the team, but I'd lose my scholarship too. It's really hard to concentrate when she starts nibbling on my ear, whispering about how she wants to ride me.
"Come on Kieren, don't be a pussy. One little line isn't going to hurt anything. Don't worry, no one here will say anything either. Our little secret. Right guys?" Daniel chimes in and the whole group gives varying degrees of confirmation. I know I shouldn't but for a chance to be in with them…
"Okay, ummm what do I do?" Not like I'm going around doing coke every weekend. C.J. gives whoop and then proceeds to set up a line and give me a demonstration. Then he gets a line ready for me. Kelsey sits in our spot as I knee-walk over to the table. My hands are shaking a little and a small voice is telling me to walk away.
Ignoring it, I lean over pressing one nostril closed, using the straw I suck up the line. A flash of light goes off, I sit up and turn only to have another flash blind me. Once the spots clear from my eyes, I see Ian standing there smirking at me. Kelsey flew around the couch wrapping her arms around Ian.
“I did good, right?” He doesn’t take his eyes off me to acknowledge her. Just pats her on the head like a good lap dog. My eyes wide and panicked and his answering smile caused goosebumps all over my body. I knew then I was so fucked.
Present day
So I did what he wanted. I helped in breaking sweet Maddie to save my own ass. I wish none of it had ever happened but I’m going to fix this. I push my way through the crowd and out of the cafeteria to find Maddie.
Chapter Four
Madison
I make my way to the library without further incident, thankfully. My hand is throbbing from hitting Kieren, I should probably go to the nurse but I don’t want to explain what happened. I quietly walk through the stacks though I pull up short when I hear soft moans. I duck down an aisle in the nonfiction section and follow the sounds.
“That’s it, right there.” I hear a familiar male voice.
Oh no! I freeze where I am because I can already guess what I’m going to see and it is similar to what started my disaster of a life four years ago. Taking a deep breath, I peek through the shelves and sure enough, there is Ian leaning against the shelves, head thrown back and eyes hooded. Looking down, I see C.J. on his knees, cheeks hollowed out, from the movement of his arm I’m guessing he’s getting himself off too. Sonofabitch! Wait…
This is perfect blackmail revenge! I pull my phone out of pocket and start recording a video. I think we need the full effect here for maximum revenge. C.J. starts picking up the pace, the sounds of his slurps more audible now. Ian buries his hand in his hair and starts thrusting forward. It doesn’t take long before he finishes with a groan. He then reaches down to pull C.J. up while he drops down to finish him too. Well, this is even better than I hoped for.
“Fuuccckkkk that’s good.” C.J. sighs trying to keep his voice low. Ian stands up and for a second, I think he saw me so I quickly duck down and crawl away on my hands and knees.
Well, today is finally looking up for me. A real smile lights up my face but that only lasts until I round the corner to my locker. Sitting there looking like he has every right to be is Kieren. The old me would run away and hide from confrontation and part of the new me totally agrees. However, I won’t show fear and weakness to anyone anymore.
“Move,” I tell him as I continue my trek forward. His face looks totally dejected, his lip gleefully swollen and busted, and his hair sticking up like he was trying to pull it out.
Maintaining a relaxed posture is so much harder with him staring at me. My mind constantly flashing back to the kiss moments ago. I have to stop myself from reaching up and touching my lips. Slowly, he stands to his full height looking down on me now. I felt much more powerful when he was slouching down instead of towering over me.
“Maddie, I really need you to let me explain.” His voice soft, hands held in prayer position, while his eyes plead with me.
“I don’t care. I shouldn’t even be surprised, honestly. You are related to the devil but it looks like he’s not the only one. Here is what’s going to happen though, you are still going to help me. You owe me so fucking much but you already know that. That’s why you came to visit me all those months, needed to ease your guilt. Well, this is your chance, I’m not forgiving you but I am going to put it aside for the bigger picture here.” I shove my trembling hands in the back pocket of my jeans. I figured he would tell me, no but instead, he looks excited.
“Okay, Maddie girl. I’ll still help you but I’m going to make this up to you. You're not the only one Ian has bullied. It’s not an excuse for what I did to you, I am hoping you will be lenient with my punishment. I deserve whatever you want to do to me. You do need to understand that I'm a very patient man and I will wear you down until you love me back.” My jaw drops, is he for real?
“L-l-Love you?! I can barely love myself, what makes you think you deserve it? Some of the crazy must have rubbed off on you on those visits.” Am I in the twilight zone? How did we go from revenge plots to love?
Hysterical laughter bursts out of me. One arm wrapped around my stomach and the other holding me up against the lockers. After a few minutes, I get myself under control and look at him while wiping the tears from my eyes. I see the hurt he’s trying to hide, he deserves the pain though. My luck from earlier comes back when the bell rings and the halls begin to flood with students. I turn away from him to head to dreaded P.E. class when he grabs my arm. I can feel the heat of him from how close he is standing, his breath
hitting my neck makes me shudder.
“Meet me at your car after school and we will get your plan started.” He whispers in my ear and is gone before I can reply. I walk to the gym in a daze replaying my whole day so far.
I’ll get a whole hour to do that since due to the nerve damage to my hand, I’m not really allowed to participate. I need this class to graduate so the compromise was that I had to show up to be marked present. Then I can use the time as a study hall to catch up on anything I need to make sure I get all my credits. This gym class is smaller than the other because it's for the cheerleaders.
Just as I find a spot on the floor to get comfortable, I hear the hyena laugh that can only belong to Michelle. I look up to see her and Kelsey Caner walking out of the locker room. Michelle notices me and narrows her eyes, giving her the one finger salute I get back to pulling my work out. It doesn’t take long for her to pull out the “skank” cough.
“Takes one to know one, am I right, Chelles?” I say without looking up. My voice carrying across the mostly empty area.
A few of the other girls giggle and begin whispering behind their hands. I watch out the corner of my eye as her cheeks start to flush and she marches her way over. I guess she didn’t expect me to say anything.
“I’m not the one who acts like the town bicycle here, slut.” She says while executing the perfect mean girl hair flip. I scoff and go back to looking over my textbook.
“No, you just suck and fuck whoever Ian tells you to. So more whore than slut right, since you obviously have Ian pimping you out.” Man, that information Kieren had been getting me while I was in Sunnyvale was totally kicking ass. I look up in time to watch her face turn purple. Huh? I didn’t think that was even possible. She takes a sudden gasp of air before screeching.
Tormented: A Bully Romance Anthology Page 9