PS... Trust Me (TAT: A Rocker Romance Book 8)

by Emjay Soren

  I don’t know why I didn’t respond. Part of me would like to think it was because I liked that Chad was unattainable, he was safe. But now he says he wants to attain me. My inner harpy was rearing her slutty, harpy head and shouting that I was no different than all those other girls. In the end, I wanted Chad Blake in my bed just as much as they did.

  *

  Shame had a giant fire pit built into the ground at the back of the cottage facing the water. The rain had left most the wood wet but he found some logs that had been protected with a tarp and now we were all sitting around, laughing and talking, the fire providing the perfect mood lighting.

  I didn’t understand why Noah had kept me from this. Everyone acted the same as always, and we all got along well. I had known these guys for years, had seen most of them almost daily at our house. The only thing I could think of was that Noah wanted a life away from me. It hurt, even though I understood. I had college and a life away from here that didn’t have Noah in it. He was entitled to the same.

  Cal walked over and handed an acoustic guitar to Chad and sat down with one for himself. Shamus grabbed two boiling pots, one small and one large, and flipped them over. He pulled drum sticks from the pocket of his cargo shorts and began drumming on the pots to the tune of ‘Animals’. I smiled as Chad joined in on the rhythm and Noah at bass. My God, they were awesome.

  Chad began to sing, and it was obvious he was in the zone the instant he started. It was easy to see why he was the band’s lead singer. He knew the Nickelback song well and put his own ‘Chad twist’ on it. Listening to the lyrics, I chuckled to myself. Christ, the song was probably the band’s anthem. Still, I hung on every word he sang and got lost in his voice. I could tell Noah was grinding his teeth as he watched me drink in Chad and all his yumminess. The song had just come out of the bridge and as Shame stopped drumming leaving just Cal and Chad, I couldn’t help but feel like they were going to duel. But then Chad was singing again, in a gruff voice watching me as he sang the sexy lyrics.

  We were parked out by the tracks’

  We’re sitting in the back

  And we just started getting busy

  When she whispered “what was that?”

  He looked at Noah and winked. I knew he was egging him on and I didn’t like it.

  The wind, I think

  ‘Cause no one else knows where we are

  But that was when she started screaming

  That’s Noah outside the car!

  I tried to stand immediately, but Noah stopped playing long enough to snag me by my shirt and force me to sit back down. He didn’t look happy, but he was making a point. I waited for the song to end, not looking at Chad. When it was over I ignored Chad and turned to Noah.

  “That was awful of him, Noah, I’m sorry.” If Chad had done anything, he had just made it harder for Noah to see reason. But don’t get me started on how pissed I really was.

  “Carrie, don’t be sorry, be pissed. I stopped you from running for a reason. The guys here are superstars in a small town. They’re the best tat guys in the state and guys from the best bands. Not a guy here has to respect a girl. This is a pussy party. I have tried to keep you from it and keep you clean, but you just keep fighting me.” He runs his hands through his naturally messy gold locks before blowing out a tired breath and looks at me.

  “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, but you need to be thick skinned and nail his ass for that or they’re all going to think you’re free range, and then I’ll have to kill them. And I really ain’t in the mood.”

  God, I could kill Chad for proving Noah right. “I thought it was a date, Noah.” I felt so fucking stupid. I was a ploy to get a rise from my brother. I wanted to run, not stay, and defend my honor.

  “Oh, it’s a date. That’s why he brought you here. He’s making a point. This is how a player ends the game. He brought you to a place that is swarming with ass and is making it known he isn’t down anymore. But in the process he makes you look weak. Skin his balls, sissy, and do it loud enough that all he’ll hear your voice the next time he thinks he’s funny.”

  “Noah… I can’t…I don’t….”

  “Carrie, I tried to keep you from this part of my world, I did. We rock music that’s about parties and easy women, and we sleep around and get high. We don’t have to be accountable because the girls come to us. This is not a place to meet your wife or husband. I told you before, this is a pussy party, Carrie. One you pitched a fit to come to. You’re on your own unless I see a problem. Trust me next time.” He said and walked away. His use of ‘trust me’ didn’t go unnoticed and only made me feel even shittier.

  Before I could tell him how low a blow it was, Chad came walking over and pulled me to him with both arms around my waist. I wanted to groan when he pulled me close, my back to his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I felt his breath on my neck. I nearly moaned out loud, nearly forgetting what a cocky jerk he was.

  “It was a joke, Carrie. Don’t pull away.” He said it like he thinks I’m on my way out the door.

  I turned into his chest and took a deep breath. “Do you know why I’m mad?”

  He brushed the hair back from my face and cupped my chin forcing our eyes to meet. “Because I made a joke about Noah’s protectiveness over you. But that’s all it was Carrie, a joke.” I could hear the sincerity in his tone.

  “It wasn’t about teasing Noah because he’s a pain in the ass.”

  “What is it then?”

  “What you sang, how you sang it looking at me. I don’t want everyone to think I’m one of many. Not when you say I’m not. You can’t use what goes on between us as a ploy to get a rise out of Noah. If he pisses you off, feel free to kick his ass, but don’t use me to get at him, especially in a sexual way.”

  He nodded and said nothing which helped his case. I didn’t need to be appeased, I needed him to know how I felt and to know that he respected it. I knew he didn’t mean to offend me, so I was content to let him hold me.

  As the night progressed I listened to them sing and play a few more rock and roll hits and some old country and blues before the power came back on lighting the cottage up like an airport. I half expected them to go into the full Monte with the drums and electric guitars when Chad stood and reached for my hand.

  "Want to head out? Go for a drive maybe?" His voice was low and sent a shiver down my spine.

  "Sure." My voice cracked and my face went beet red. Somehow I managed to stand and follow him to his truck. I was going for a ride with Chad Blake, and nerves were not going to stop me.

  Noah was.

  Chad

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s the rush?” Noah yelled as I held Carries hand in mine making our way to my truck. I was done with his all over the place bullshit tonight. He acts like I am a fucking registered sex offender.

  What he didn’t know, is that to me, Carrie is worth all the hell he wants to send my way.

  “We’re going for a drive.” She replied, looking at him with pleading eyes.

  “No, you’re not leaving yet.” Noah commands and I try to hide my smile when she rolls her eyes at him.

  “Don’t do this, Noah. It’s not your style and this big brother bear act doesn’t suit you. We both know you too well.” I am a little shocked she stood up to him. I have always watched Carrie surrender to whatever Noah needed. She never argued or talked back to him, at least not in front of us guys. Seeing her now though, she might cater to Noah for whatever reason, but she wasn’t scared to stand up either.

  It's…interesting. It’s a different dynamic than I thought it was.

  Noah rolled his eyes and scoffed at me before pushing me playfully. “Give me more credit Carrie, fuck.” He looked at me with a smile and laughed before turning back to Carrie. “I need some back up tonight. Ramey is on her way here tonight with a few friends. Apparently, she can’t get the message that over means over and she loves you, so…” He didn’t need to finish. It was obvious Carrie was his wingman. I can
respect it even if it makes no sense. He flips on me for wanting a shot with Carrie, but uses her as his wingman?

  “Bubba, I’m on a date.” She spoke between clenched teeth, annoyed in general.

  “No, you’re at a bonfire with Chad, who is like us, and doesn’t date. He’s dealt with this shit himself, so he understands, Carrie.” Noah said. His tone and the look on his telling her she was another Ramey in a long line of Ramey’s and that I wasn’t going to listen to. Ramey is psychotic.

  “Bro, it’s your sister. I wouldn’t be here with her if it wasn’t a date.”

  Noah’s nostrils flare at my words, but I fold my arms and wait for the backlash. Noah is unpredictable these days. He has a history with drugs, hard drugs and he was just as unpredictable then.

  I hate to even think he would drift off to hell again. He almost lost everything as a junkie. I could not see Noah going back to the drug use because of my being a threat between him and Carrie? I don’t even fucking know.

  “No, bro, I’m pretty fuckin’ certain you don’t date anyone, and you sure the fuck aren’t dating Carrie!” The aggression in his tone was alarming, but I am not afraid of Noah. Whatever he had been dealing with where their dad was concerned had to keep him on edge.

  I just hope he doesn’t jump off that edge with a needle in his arm.

  “I’m hoping to date Carrie more. I’m also hoping to finish this date tonight without one of us ending up bloody. You know me, Noah, I would never disrespect you.” I spoke looking him in the eyes. “You sure the fuck know I would never play Carrie.”

  Noah was done talking. He went from mildly irritated to straight up pissed off in about two seconds flat. “No, fucker! It isn’t happening, not to my baby sister! You disrespect every female you touch, and Carrie won’t be treated like a fangirl. There’s a fuckin’ reason I have purposely kept her away!”

  “Noah!” She gasped in outrage, completely confused on that whole outburst in general as I am.

  “You act like everyone here doesn’t know who Carrie is.” I say, stepping into his space now. Friend or not, I’ll only listen to so much shit before I knock him out.

  In his face, I keep talking. “You act like we don’t know the two of you are like Mutt and fucking Jeff, two peas in a pod, or whatever! We have been boys for years, man, years! I wouldn’t throw that shit away for a piece of ass!”

  “Piece of ass?” Was all I hear Carrie say before pain explodes in my nuts and I black out for a solid two minutes.

  “You okay?” Noah asks me as I roll to my side and stand, still a little queasy.

  “Fuck, are you? You are fucking erratic Noah. I can’t keep up with your bullshit. The same bullshit that just got me kneed in the nuts.” He tried helping me up, but I brushed him off.

  “I can’t just roll over and let you degrade my sister.” He says and the words are offensive and harsh. Noah has never been anything but blunt and to the point, but he never talked shit. He was silent unless he had a point to make. This shitshow, was one hundred percent something else.

  “Are you fucking high? I wouldn’t degrade Carrie. I would fuck up any mother fucker who even tried. So, I ask again. Are. You. Fucking. High?”

  He looked at me, mad or offended I couldn’t care less. “Fuck you for asking me that.” He says in a hushed tone. “Get my fucking sister home safely.”

  He doesn’t say anything else to me and stalks off to talk to Carrie. She looks mad as fuck, and I know what I said but I also know what I meant by it. She finally looks at me and I just want to restart the fucking night.

  “Carrie….” I started, but she immediately cut me off.

  “Its fine, Chad, I get it.” She said before walking past me to find her brother, or I don’t know, a knife to cut my dick off.

  “No, it’s not fine, Carrie.” I said as I took a seat on the same log she finally sat down on. I straddled it so I was facing her and took her hand in mine tightly. “I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I meant that you were more than that. I would never risk my friendship with Noah by banging his little sister for shits and giggles.”

  She looks at me completely dumbfounded. “You suck at flattery.”

  All I can do is shrug because what I said was true. I can’t try to be with her and pretend I am someone else. What I wont deal with is being punished for shit I got into before she gave me a chance. “It’s true though. I’ve wanted to get to know you better for a while now. I think your funny, Carrie, and… hot…fuck!” I drag my hands over my face, pissed off because I cant get the right words out. “I’m not saying this right.” I lean in and pull her chin toward me so she can see my truth. “I’ve never had to answer for myself when a hot girl is involved. I’m trying here, Carrie, but I’m still me and I won’t deny or apologize for how bad I want you.”

  “You need to know that I am not, nor will ever be, your play toy. I like you, Chad, you’re hot too! Noah will look out for me, but in the end the decision is mine, and he’ll respect that. If it’s ass you’re looking for though, then move along, because I am so far from the girls you’re used to. I have no desire to use my body to keep you around.”

  “I just wanted to go for a drive and talk, and maybe get a second date without your brother. I just want this to go better than it is. I know I have a sketchy past when it comes to women. I don’t deny the women or the fact that I was in it for the sex. But I am not a liar, I tell it like it is and I want to go on a damn date without a fight or your brother’s antics or you freaked out. All in, remember?”

  She finally laughs and I see her relax so I finally breathe. “What did you mean when you said everyone knows how we are? Me and Noah?”

  I shrug, I’m not even sure you can explain Noah and Carrie. “Just since meeting you and Noah, it’s obvious you guys are close. You understand each other when no one else knows what you’re saying. You have each other’s backs and seem more like friends than siblings.”

  “We’re all we have.” She said.

  Before I can respond, to tell her that isn’t true, she leans to the side of me as Noah sits down. “Carrie, give the poor boy a break. I was being a dick earlier. Chad explained himself. You’re safe, Sissy.”

  “Yeah, I figured as much. Where’s Ramey? Are you hiding?”

  Just then I saw Ramey coming towards us with two beers in hand, all her friends gone. “Uh… Noah?” Carrie says and I color myself curious too.

  “No, it’s cool. She knows the score. She’s coming home with us tonight.” Carrie nods and I know she didn’t approve of his answer. “Trust, Carrie.” He said his eyes focused on her.

  The trust thing, it’s like a code word to cut shit or something. It is something we all have come accustomed to over the years. We even say it now too. It’s just a small part of the Carrie and Noah puzzle.

  “Whatever.” She says and looks at me. “Want to head out for that ride?”

  “We got a request, boys, care to play an encore?” Shamus interrupts with guitars in hand.

  I took the guitar, but set it aside gently before declining. “Not tonight. I got a pretty girl willing to let me drive her home…” I look at her with a smile, then to Noah “And her brother is a dick so I’m out!”

  As she is saying her goodbye’s to Noah, Ramey interrupted and floored me. “Carrie, Noah was telling me that you play as well and that you can sing. Why don’t you ever join in?”

  “Really, Noah? Trust!” Carrie says as she tries to storm off, looking at Noah like she would kill him. I could care less, I wanted to know if my girl was a musician.

  “Oh no you don’t, I wanna hear you jam.” I say and pull her close to me. “Nothing is sexier than a woman with a guitar and a tune. Play me something, Carrie girl.”

  Noah is ripping Ramey’s ass but I just lay it on thick knowing Carrie likes when I flirt with her. She finally gives in and I cannot wait.

  “Noah, calm down, I’m sure she heard it in passing or something. It’s not like it’s a secret.” It probably was a sec
ret, but fangirls are crazy as fuck and I guarantee Ramey is that fangirl who will creep to get information.

  I could barely contain my excitement as she strummed a few chords, groaning and disappointed when she led into ‘Nutshell’ by Alice in Chains.

  “Jesus, Carrie, you too?” Shamus asked with a laugh, and we all made gagging noises. We all loved Alice in Chains, but to Noah it was religion. They were always a Seattle original so the airplay was always current even if the music wasn’t after the death of front man Layne Staley. He had told me once when he was wasted that he had a couple of burned CD’s he hid that his friend back home, Sully had made him. It was the only music he could listen too. The more I learn these last few weeks, it tells me it wasn’t that his dad was maybe a strict dick about music, but that maybe it was a hidden pleasure to an abused kid hiding it.

  Carrie’s laugh pulled me from my thoughts. “Who do you think taught me? Of course I know Alice tunes.”

  I sat fascinated as she finally started playing another song. I was enthralled by her smooth raspy voice and with the ease she played.

  Carrie Beckett continued to amaze me.

  Chad

  Turns out I got the wrong flowers. I also set Noah off about thirty times give or take the entire night, set her off too, but other than that I was happy and content when she said we could finally leave.

  We talked about different concerts and bands we love when she admitted she had never been to one of our shows. “I know I probably sound like a fool, but are you honestly telling me you have never been to a show?”

  Her sweet blush was enough to tell me. “I think if I had been to a show I would have said hi to you and the guys, don’t ya think? Noah is a little more than protective when it comes to his music. He says it’s his outlet and all that, so I respected it and stayed away. After that bull tonight though, I think he was full of it and wanted me away from the whoredom.” She trailed off as she said it and as much as I wanted to reassure her, it would need to happen in time. Trust is everything with the Becketts and I wanted to earn Carries.