by Emjay Soren
“Well, yeah. Hoe’s are gross.”
I laughed out loud and smacked his arm. “You’re a hoe.”
He tsk’ed his tongue and pulled my hand back into his and kissed the top. “Was, baby. I was a hoe. Now I’m taken.”
I spent the rest of the ride in silence letting those three little words make my butterfly belly quake in girly giddiness.
‘Now I’m taken.’ He’d said. I just hoped I was enough for him. I wasn’t a virgin, of course, technically. I had been sexually active as far back as I dare or care to remember. Not consensually active though, and not in a way that allowed me to grow sexually like a normal person, exploring and learning about my body and that of the person I’m with.
I felt that sickness roll in like a fog over my mind. I hated my father. In moments like these I was selfish and only thought of what he had done to me and not the shit done to Noah. He’d taken me for years, as a child, a pre teen and then a full blown teenager. I had enough teenage angst going on I didn’t need to add the sexual abuse on top of it. He had told me that he was keeping me safe from other boys’ love and that it was right that the love of my body be given to him. I understand now more than ever how truly sick he was.
He had officially robbed me of the one gift I would give to Chad. Whoa…wait…would I? It only took a fraction of a second for me to realize that yes, I would have given myself to Chad. I can have sex with him, but I will never experience the choice to give my first time to someone who would cherish it. And now he’d found us, possibly to make good on the threats he’d issued all those years ago.
Chad sensed my shift in mood and pulled our joined hand to his lips kissing them. God, I love that. “You okay, baby?” He asked.
I nod and kiss our joined hands in return. “Just thinking is all.”
“About Noah?” He shifted in his seat like he’s uncomfortable, I expect him to remove my hand but he doesn’t. He holds tighter. “I told you that we’ll get him the help baby, we just need to find out what the trigger was.”
Jesus, he guts me. His concern for Noah and for me makes me want to scream and cry and tell my father that he was wrong, we are worthy of good love. “I know why, he told me earlier.”
I didn’t know if Noah had talked to him about our father’s surprise visit and the stress it was causing him, but it was obvious from our conversation that he hadn’t. I was relieved he didn’t know because I didn’t want him to think I was hiding it from him.
“What did he say?”
I took a deep breath and pulled my hand from his. He looked at me, confused, but said nothing. Talking about my dad I could handle, but not while I was being touched. “Noah took off yesterday because he met with our dad, who has been calling him nonstop for weeks. Noah said he showed up at Slave to the Needle and they argued. Noah broke his nose and threatened him within an inch of his life.”
There, like a Band-Aid. Just rip it off.
He cursed a few times and just stared at the streetlights we passed. “And what now, he thinks he’s gonna come after you or something?” I knew Chad would think the obvious so it was my place to inform him otherwise.
“We’ve never told anyone what he did to us. We ran, Chad. Noah was threatening him to prove a point. That point is if he doesn’t leave the minute we sign the trust papers that he will kill him. He was always a manipulative scumbag, so it doesn’t shock me in the least that he was calling Noah and asking about me. He knows how to push his buttons.” It was the hardest thing I had ever done to sit there and act as if it didn’t matter to me when in reality it was completely fucking with my head.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Carrie?” He sounded hurt and I hated that, hated that my dad was able to affect even this small piece of happiness.
I shrug my shoulders in indifference. “You had your practice and then the show.” I felt a blush touch my cheeks. “Then you kissed me and took it all away.”
He smiled and I watched his eyes sparkle like a kid with a secret. “Well, it’s important I do my part.”
I nod while batting my eyes like an airhead. He gets me though and starts laughing. “You’re amazing, baby.”
I look over at him and smile softly. “Why?” I ask with an uncomfortable laugh.
“Because you can laugh even though there’s a nightmare brewing in reality. It’s fucking endearing. You’re strong and it’s sexy as hell.” He isn’t being facetious, he’s dead serious.
I wish he wouldn’t say things like that though. I was a coward, not brave. Noah was brave. “I don’t know what you’re doing with me, Chad, but I’m selfish enough to want you to keep doing it.”
He was quiet and just sat there looking at me. It was then I realized that we were at Gavin’s and probably had been for a while. “Carrie…” He spoke my name like a prayer and waited until I looked him in the eyes. “I have a list of things that draw me to you, I’m still trying to figure out what I did that was so killer to make you finally look my way. Whatever it is, I hope I don’t fuck it up, because I’m seriously way more invested in this than I should be only a week in.”
He didn’t wait for my reply he pulled me in and took my mouth in haste. He licked across my lower lip asking me to open, his tongue mingling with mine when I did. I could feel his breath fan my wet lips and couldn’t contain the groan of want that came from inside.
In the past when I had made out with boyfriends, I hadn’t really felt the desire to take things to the next level. Kissing and making out had been fun and a passing of time, but nothing that did to me what Chad was doing to me now. My skin was sensitive to every touch. His hands were skimming my hip trying to pull me closer, but the gearshift was in the way.
Letting my desires take over, I pulled back and unfastened my seatbelt, Chad watching in silence, confused by my sudden halt. I could see how turned on he was. Even through his jeans, it was hard to miss. Releasing his own seatbelt and turning the car off, he sat back and ran his hands over his face trying to calm down.
Not what I expected…..or wanted.
“What are you doing?” I asked not realizing how breathless I was. God he had me on fire and seeing him now, trying to rein in his control, had me trembling wanting him so badly.
“You stopped… I figured I pushed my luck.” He admitted.
I bit my bottom lip and shook my head, smiling as I climbed over the gear shift and into his lap. He cupped my ass immediately and pulled me close. Something between a moan and growl rumbled through his chest. I swear it was the sexiest sound in the world.
“Jesus Carrie, what are you doing?” He was as desperate as I was, just as out of breath and just as turned on. I could feel his erection between the V of my thighs and couldn’t help but rock against it.
“Kissing you, Chad.” I whispered in his ear before nibbling gently on the lobe. He grasped my hips, holding me in place and thrust his hips against me. He hit a spot that felt so amazing I cried out. My eyes locked on his, “Again.” I whispered and dropped my mouth against his.
There was no hesitation from Chad; he kept up that same rhythm, stroking me through my jeans with a denim clad erection that I desperately wanted to set free.
“Fuck, Carrie, I want you so bad baby.” He said the words against my neck as his hands lifted the hem of my top and slipped along my ribs, gently stroking the bottom of my breasts. Every touch made me whimper and ache and cry for more.
His thumb slipped beneath the cup of my bra and stroked back and forth along my erect nipple. “God Carrie, you’re perfect baby. Let me taste.” He didn’t ask. He let me know that’s exactly what he was going to do. I sat back and lifted my top raising my arms above my head so he could strip me of it. Now exposed in my bra, one breast peeking out over the lace, Chad dropped his head between my breasts and started leaving soft kisses along my breast bone. He left one hand cupping my free breast, while the other stroked up and down my back. He stopped at my bra clasp, snapping it free and sliding it from my arms.
He stared at e
very inch of my exposed flesh with the focus of a dying man in search of God. There was no part of this moment that was unwanted or scary. He wanted me and he wanted me in way I had heard about but never experienced. “You are so fucking beautiful it hurts.” He said as his mouth locked on my nipple and he suckled softly. His tongue did every erotic thing I’d ever imagined being done to a nipple. Every wet flick of his tongue and every hot breath against my fevered flesh brought a new sensation. He released me with a pop before cupping my neck and pulling me in for a kiss. He ravaged my mouth and captured my cries as I rotated my hips against him, working his erection, needing something that I was desperate to find.
“Carrie, baby, I have to stop or I’m gonna make a real prick move here and find any way I can to get inside of you.” He spat the words as if they were acid on his tongue, but I knew he didn’t want to stop. Me neither, so I just rocked harder. “Baby, please.” He begged and lifted me from his lap gasping for air.
My cry was of desperation, frustration and need. “God, please don’t make me stop, Chad. Something was… something was good … I think…” I tried to get back at his mouth and break down his resolve, but he held firm.
To most people I’m sure this would have just been some Levi loving with their man. But to me it was, to date, the best sexual experience of my life. I had never touched myself because too many unwanted memories flooded me every time I tried. I had never wanted to be touched until Chad, and I had never felt intensity so extreme in my body before. Now I never wanted him to stop and that was what he was doing. I wanted him touching me harder, taking this euphoria to the next level. For once I wasn’t having the memories that kept me up at night. What I was having however, were some absolutely wonderful, filthy thoughts; each and every one of them centering on Chad Blake.
Chad
Holy fuck…was she…was she wanting to…
“Baby, look at me.” I say it firm, but I am anything but calm or even slightly in control,
“Carrie, please tell me that you’ve had an orgasm before?” I spoke with my eyes closed because I couldn’t look at her and not explode. I have never wanted anything more than her. No way would I fuck her in a car, but I would touch her and I wasn’t sure she would let me. I want to see her eyes, on fire and ready for whatever I offered, but scared she would tell me to stop.
Yeah, I’m that fuckin guy.
I forced myself to breathe and looked at her, searching for the answer. When she blushed and shook her head no it shot straight to my cock.
“Fuck.” I moan and pull her in tighter against me, my cock pressing against her jean covered pussy. I rub my hands over her hips, cupping her ass in my palms as I thrust unwittingly against her. “No one has ever had this fine ass in their hands, never touched this pretty spot?” I whisper against her neck, full on thrusting against her as I pull her against me. There was no question if I could make Carrie come.
She shakes her head no again, then thrusts herself against me on her own, moaning at how good she feels.
“Let me get you there baby, let me have it?” I beg. I want to hear her cry out, scream. I want claw marks on my skin, blood on my lips. I want her to eat me alive.
“Please yes… take it, Chad.”
She’s breathless as she grinds on me and I have never been so turned on by dry humping. She may not have done this before, but her body knew what to do, I just had to guide her. “Give it to me, Carrie girl. Fall into it, I have you.”
“I don’t know how, Chad.” She whispers, taking in shaky breaths as I fuck her dry.
“Just relax and enjoy me while I do this and you’ll know what to do baby, I promise.” I reassured her as I let her ride me, doing exactly what I knew she would. Fuck, I could come watching her. She’s flushed and panting in between these little moans that fuel me to go harder, drive her crazy until she comes for me. I want my fingers in her, I want to know how wet she is for me. I want to feel her heat as I pump my fingers in her, my cock in her…fuck my tongue.
I need to stop thinking now before I come like an amateur.
“Oh God!” She yells, her spine stiff as she rolls her hips and digs her fingers into my shoulders. Fucking knew she would be fucking gorgeous when she comes.
“Holyfuckholyfuckholyfuck!” She started chanting, thrusting against me as I sit beneath her pushing my hips against hers as the heat from her pussy strokes my own jean covered dick.
“That’s right baby.” I groan and lick a path up her neck, fucking losing my mind. “Fuck … I want in so fucking bad, Carrie, I can feel you throbbing through your jeans.” I sound unstable as I confess my own needs, my body trembling as she comes down from the euphoria I just gave her. In my entire sexual life, I have never had a woman want me this badly and it was next to impossible to not roll her over, tear her jeans off and fuck her senseless.
Her body lay over me, head below my chin as she pants, trying to catch her breath. I stroke my hands on her back and take deep breaths knowing I need to seriously calm the fuck down.
All I could do was softly shift and thrust against her as I desperately tried to chill the fuck out. I needed to come fucking badly. I couldn’t think about what she looked like or that I might actually be the only man to see her like that.
Fuck, I needed to come.
“Was I really the first baby?” I had to know.
Fucking shoot me.
She nodded, her head still against my shoulder.
“Damn Carrie, I didn’t think you could get any hotter…” I cup her face in my hands so I can see her as the truth of what we just did hits me. I just dry fucked my girl who probably never fucked anything before.
“I’m sorry if I got crazy when you told me you’d never had one before. I just wanted that first one to be mine so bad I lost anything resembling a rational thought. Did I scare or hurt you?” I ask and place a soft kiss on her lips.
She sat up then and started laughing at me. “What? Are you serious, Chad. I give you blue balls while I get the orgasm of a lifetime and your worried you scared or hurt me?!”
What now?
“Orgasm of a lifetime? Really?”
She nods, still laughing as she brushes her hair back with her fingers. “It is the what all orgasms in my future will be held against.”
“Man, the ego I am growing right now.” I joke, my hands fisting her hips to stop her when she started grinding on me again. “Stop, baby.” I hiss, too close to exploding.
She searched my face, for what I don’t know. Her fingers, daintily slide down my chest until she starts to undo the buckle to my jeans. Fuck…was I going to stop this? I needed to stop her. Didn’t I? Right as she reached to get under my boxers, I grasped her wrist forcing her to stop.
“Let me babe.” She said, her voice strong with her eyes pinned on me.
“What you just gave me was a gift, Carrie. I don’t need anything from you.” I took her wrists and brought her hands up around my neck so I could just hold her.
“Chad, I love that you wanted that for me, but I cannot leave you like this.” I wouldn’t be staying like this, the ‘this’ being my hard dick that was tented in my jeans currently. “I’m not a stranger to the male anatomy and I’m not a virgin, no matter what Noah made you think.”
I cup her cheek and kiss her long and hard to keep from telling her to grab it. I figured she was a virgin and even if she isn’t, she is nowhere near experienced enough for what I want to give her. “Baby, you’re innocent enough being that was your first orgasm, and I fucking love that it’s mine. That is what’s gonna get me off the minute I get in the bathroom.”
Did I really just tell her I would go beat off? Fucking really?
“So, you are going in that party, to the bathroom by yourself, to beat off alone while thinking of me?” She says it incredulously, like it’s an asinine thought. Fuck, if chicks only knew how often we beat off. Or the places we did. The male species are nothing more than perverts looking for an outlet plain and simple.
“Sure, the fuck can’t stay like this all night. It’s fine baby, it’s normal.” I reassured her.
“It’s not fine, Chad. It’s ludicrous.”
I rub my hands on my face annoyed with the ridiculousness of this conversation. “It’s normal, Carrie. I’ve been beating off since I was ten. I promise, I know how it works.”
“That’s not what I meant, but wow, ten huh?” I laugh and nod. “I just meant it’s ludicrous to think of me while doing it.”
“No, that’s normal, Carrie. That’s all I will think about for the next forever. I’ll never think of anyone else.” If she only knew how many times, I beat off fantasizing about her. All this dry humping did to me was give me more filler for the next handy I give myself.
“But if you’re doing it either way, then do it here… Do it now, while I’m here.” She whispered.
Oh fuck…was she serious or was I just out of my mind horny? “Look me in the eye and tell me if I’m getting this straight. You’re asking me to give myself a hand job while you watch?”
With a beet red face she looked at me and nodded.
That was all the invite I needed. I grabbed her by the neck so we were face to face, my eyes on hers as I reached in my boxers and grabbed my dick. I couldn’t hide the tremble of my body when I gave it a stroke, wishing it were her hand.
“Fuck I don’t think I have ever been more excited to beat off.” I stretch back, shifting her between us as I go to town.
“Is it good?” She whispers.
I nod, licking my lips before pressing my mouth to hers, moaning as I deepen the kiss. “It’s unreal baby… you watching me is sexy as hell.” I finally answer.
She watches my eyes, but I want her eyes on what I am doing. “Watch me baby. Look what you do to me.”
She didn’t hesitate at my demand. She looked down between us and her eyes watched me stroke for stroke. It was the most sexually intense moment of my life and I had been there done that enough. Now, all I wanted were moments like this.