PS... Trust Me (TAT: A Rocker Romance Book 8)

by Emjay Soren

  Oh my god I think I could come!

  “God you surprise me every time I touch you baby.” He says and pulls back, and his absence has me desperate to get him back and driving me even more crazy.

  “None of these are my favorite. Most vendors wouldn’t carry them because they don’t live long and are night blooming.”

  He taps his chin and winks. “A clue into the floral mystery of one Carrie Beckett.”

  I just shake my head and don’t bother telling him that I love daisies as much as the night blooming Jasmine because I kind of like how he keeps asking and guessing. He walks past me where just ahead is another floral vendor and this time he picks an orchid and I wonder what he is thinking. He has it wrapped in green cellophane and then brings it to me with a smile that melts me.

  “This is my favorite because it’s wicked looking. Until I figure out your flower, you can borrow mine.”

  Hell, is this even the same Chad I have known all these years because this guy is making it hard to hold back? I again have no words and slowly lean in until we are chest to chest. My hands are holding a flower in one and honey and apples in the other, but I don’t care. I lean in and stand on my tip toes and kiss him soft and sweet, letting my lips linger longer then I should but he tastes divine.

  He immediately wraps his arms around the small of my back and holds me to him kissing me back. Yeah, I am definitely falling for this guy. “What was that for?” He asks me softly and in all seriousness. He swipes his thumb across my bottom lip like it’s an afterthought.

  I want to answer this question as best I can because there are a million and one reasons I kissed him. “Because you make me want to breathe you in just so I can keep feeling like this.”

  He just scoops my hair from my neck so he can grip it in his hand and pulls me in for an intense kiss that is telling on a gazillion levels. “Damn babe…” He sighs and peppers my lips with more soft kisses.

  We hold hands and walk through the pier looking and shopping and just taking all this crazy attraction in and let it absorb us because it feels that amazing. “When is your next show babe?” I ask when I see a vintage concert t shirt that was from a Van Morrison concert in 79’and think of Noah because he loves Van Morrison.

  He is smiling from ear to ear and I know it’s because I called him babe. He is that easy to please. “We have one on Wednesday and Friday. Noah wouldn’t let us book the last Saturday of the month.” I know why but I am not saying anything.

  “Don’t be coy baby it’s not doing you any good.” He laughs and grabs my hip pulling me along his side away from the vintage store. “I know it’s your twenty-first birthday.” He looks at me, “Noah said something about tradition and bad music?”

  I laugh whole heartedly now because Noah hates my obsession with boy bands. I love music of every kind and prefer it a little harder and darker, but I love my boy bands fiercely. “Yeah yeah bad music I know.” I roll my eyes and stop to grab Chad’s hand. “Do you know that if it wasn’t for “bad music” there would be no clubs and without clubs there would be fewer options for your band to play, so it’s really the circle of musical life.”

  He shrugs his shoulders in indifference and we continue walking. “I’m fine with singing from rooftops and house parties and out at the pier baby. I’m not in it for the club scene.”

  “Nope just the pussy right?” I snap and I have no clue where it came from.

  Chad looks shocked and surprised and honestly, I am too. “I am so sorry. I don’t know why I said that Chad.”

  He shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. “I know what you think of me Carrie and I’m never gonna defend what I’ve done but I can’t be ashamed of it either.” He looks at me and takes my hand and twines our fingers loosely. “I want you to listen to me now and hear me loud and clear so there are no mistakes.” I look around and see that there are no people close by and that we are out on the pier.

  “For the last three years I have been with women but all I saw was you. I was partial to blondes who smelled of beer and cheap perfume when all I wanted was cherries and vanilla. Every time I kissed them, I closed my eyes and saw your face. The reality of them was always lacking and that’s when a few months back I went cold turkey on the women. I got tested and stayed away. I realized that those women were a pale impression, not even a shadow of your beauty and they lacked your charisma. I know it sounds crazy and more than a little fucked up but there it is. I am not Prince Charming or a shining Knight on a white horse. I’m a dude with over forty tattoos and ten piercings and nowhere near your league. I may never be more than a tattoo artist and I may one day be famous, either way Carrie I’m yours and have been since I met you. It just took me some time to get it right.”

  I felt tears filling my eyes and I was so scared to blink and have them fall or worse, wake from a dream. Who says that stuff I mean really? And more importantly what type of woman am I for thinking that was the most romantic thing I have ever heard? I don’t care what anyone thinks or says, when the man of your dreams tells you that he fills the empty space in his life with substitutes for wanting you, you’ll feel what I feel and understand in a totally fucked up way exactly how bad you were missed. If I wasn’t looking at his face to see the clarity and sincerity, I could hear it in his voice; the natural inflections of his sarcasm and serious side meeting to sweep me off my feet.

  I grabbed him behind the neck and kissed him.

  I kissed him for all the nights he used other women trying to forget me. I kissed him for loving cherries and vanilla because I smell like cherries and vanilla. I kissed him because I was sitting in the nosebleed section of the wrong league, but he wanted me anyway. I kissed him because he finds beauty in my ugly, happy in my sad and doesn’t make me say why… I kissed him because he is a tattooed, pierced, foul mouthed, horny, drop dead sexy, guitar playing Rockstar with a tattoo gun.

  I kissed him because he is mine.

  “Get me out of here.” I whisper against his lips. He’s holding me so tight that I can feel his erection against my stomach.

  “Where do you want to go baby?”

  Here it was, the moment that things would never be the same between us. “I don’t care. I just want to be alone with you Chad.”

  Chapter Ten

  Chad

  We were quiet on the drive back, an easy silence as I stroked her thigh with my thumb. Something shifted from the fun late last night to the Pier today. I have no expectations with Carrie so alone with her could mean anything. Turns out she handles my dick fine and I am content to move in and set up shop on third base if I have to.

  “You said you wanted me alone, but my gramps is home still.” I explain though I know her reaction won’t be shitty, I guess it’s the one thing I’m self-conscious about, but unwilling to change. Gramps is my best friend, my confidant and until Carrie, he has always been my number one. “The gramps is cool, but he can cramp my style.”

  “I actually don’t mind seeing Harvey. I haven’t seen him since Thanksgiving break last year.”

  I kissed her then. Hard. I would have lingered and recited poetry to her then and there if the light didn’t change.

  “What was that for?”

  Taking her hand in mine and shrug as I try to explain it. “Because. In the past when girls find out I still live at home with gramps they think it’s weird or that I’m broke or bad credit. They tell me this shit too like it actually mattered to them when in reality they didn’t want me. They wanted the lead singer in TAT or the guy that inked their skin. Not one of them ever asked to meet him, about him or why we were roomies. You get it and you love the old guy. That makes me want to kiss you… a lot.”

  She smiles and she is so damn beautiful it makes my heart race. “Well Harvey is not your typical grandpa. He’s a horny old wild cat and has a social life that would rival most the college guys I know.”

  Fact.

  “That he is.” I agree and pull into our neighborhood. “I think he has bingo tonig
ht but not till later.”

  I say as I turn the truck off and toy with my keys. I think I’m actually fucking nervous, and I don’t get nervous.

  “It’s fine Chad. I haven’t got plans tonight. Unless you have plans tonight, I’m fine just hanging out.”

  That has me laughing as I roll my eyes, settling my nerves. “Stop fishing Carrie. You are my plans, tonight and every night. You said you wanted me alone and this is the opposite of alone. gramps is gonna freak when he sees you with me. Hell, he’s gonna probably cancel bingo so he can hit on you all night.”

  She squeezes my hand and the nerves are back. “Harvey will either go to bingo or at some point go to bed. There’s no rush.”

  “There is no rush baby. You know, that right? I’m fine there’s no pressure here.” I meant every single word too.

  I’m busy kissing on her when I hear gramps and the dad whistle, he has that still causes fear. “Get the damn girl in here Chad before I smack you in the back of the head.”

  Raising my middle finger to the old cock block himself, I keep on kissing her.

  Carrie

  “Well it’s about damn time that boy of mine hooked you.” Harvey laughs and steps out to meet me on the porch and pulls me in for a hug. He looks nothing like Chad, but they act the same. Harvey has a head full of thick black hair with streaks of silver around the edges. He isn’t much taller than Chad maybe an inch or two and his eyes are a deep cobalt blue. I have seen pictures of Chad’s mom on the wall the few times I have been here, and you can see her resemblance to her father. He is dressed in his usual jeans and a t shirt. Most of his shirts are printed with fishing items or Harley Davidson but tonight he wears a blue that makes his eyes pop and I can smell the cologne.

  “How are you Harvey?” I ask when he releases me to Chad’s relief. I kind of like that even in his grandfather’s arms he misses me.

  “Better now that I know your keeping Chad company. He said he was dating you, but I didn’t believe it. Damn boy’s been pining for you since the day he met ya sweetie. I’m only glad you opened your eyes and noticed him.”

  I hung on every word Harvey said when he spoke of Chad’s ongoing desire for me and couldn’t help but blush. “Thanks gramps. Any more personal shit you want to share with Carrie?” Chad gripes but I can tell he isn’t really angry with Harvey, just a little embarrassed. He should be thankful because each time I hear about Chad pining for me, it makes me fall even harder. I can’t imagine what it was like for him to be so into me and never let me on to the fact.

  Harvey smiles and looks at me. “Nope don’t want to scare her off already.” He gives me the same wink that Chad does and though they don’t resemble one another in the slightest, their actions are identical. “Come on in we’ll have a drink before I have to go to bingo. I’m meeting Letty Valdez there tonight and I want to get there early because she likes sitting up close.”

  I take the wine Harvey hands me and sit at the kitchen table next to Chad. His hand finds mine in my lap and my stomach flutters when his thumb strokes my knuckles. “Why do you go to bingo Harvey? You seem too young.” I ask and sip from my wine hiding my smile as Chad drops my hand and grasps my thigh just shy of where I can’t wait to feel him again.

  “Oh, hell girl bingo gets a bad rap. There is some damn fine tail there and its cheap fun, cheap drinks and I win some pretty cool shit.” God, he cracks me up this man.

  “Well you sold me. Maybe next time me and Chad can tag along, see what the fuss is about.” My voice cracks when Chad’s thumb traces the crease of my thigh.

  “It’s a date,” he says and then looks to Chad. They seem to have a wordless conversation and before I can ask or even guess what’s going on Harvey smiles and nods. “Well it’s about that time.” He says looking at the clock and pouring an almost full beer down the sink. He dries his hands and walks over to me dropping a kiss on my cheek. I stand to hug him, and he whispers in my ear, “be good to him darlin’ you’re about the only thing that can break my boy.”

  I know Chad couldn’t hear him from where he now stood at the wine rack by the fridge reading the labels all nonchalant. “I would break me before him Harvey.” I say just as quietly.

  “Fix each other instead okay Sugar?” He asks and pulls back from me and starts looking for his keys. I know I need fixing, but I wonder now about Chad. “I’ll be late so don’t wait up. Might even stay at Letty’s if the night is right.” He winks again and then he’s gone.

  Chad is leaned against the counter, a bottle of wine in his hand. I’m still standing by the table, but our eyes are locked on one another. Like a track race we both set off for one another at the sound of Harvey’s bike growl as he leaves the house. I don’t know if it was Harvey’s words or just being with Chad all day and last night, but then and there I can’t wait to feel him in my arms.

  Our lips meet first but within seconds Chad has us turned and I am now against the counter facing Chad. He pulls me closer as our tongues dual and our teeth tug and nibble one another’s lips. His hands are brazening, and they go to my butt and then he is lifting me and setting me on the counter. Without losing the rhythm of our amazing kiss he palms my knees apart and settles his body in between my legs and pulls me close.

  “Tell me what you want baby. I can stay right here all night and feast on these lips that drive me fucking nuts.” He proves his point deepening the kiss. This kiss is the kiss that all kisses in the future will be compared to. It’s the pedestal kiss.

  “What’s my second option?” I ask playfully hoping for the dirty boy inside him will come out and play. I pull his pierced lip between my lips and suck.

  He groans and pulls back from me enough to get the friction he needs and rocks his hips against me. “I could fuck you dry right here and now just like I did last night.” He doesn’t disappoint and I moan out loud when reminds me of the Levi loving in my little Honda but even then, I want more.

  “Is there a third option?” I love when he gets a little dirty, a little nasty. He says things that make my heart pound and my core go molten.

  He fingers the snap of my Capri pants and has it undone and the zipper down in a flash. His finger traces the lace from the top of my panties, and I know it’s in question if he can go further. I nod but say nothing. He wastes no time as his entire hands slips beneath the lace and I feel two of his callused fingers sliding against the wet hot slit of me.

  His lips slide down my neck as he whispers his intentions. “I could finger you. Make this pretty little body of yours tremble just from my touch like I also did last night.” I nod but I don’t want him to stop touching me. “I love option three but while you’re doing it tell me about four.” I gasp right then because he stops on my clit and starts tapping. It dawns on me then that he is touching me for the first time where my jeans and his are no longer restrictions to his silken touch. Realizing that and the tapping of his fingers has my body shaking in need.

  “Fuck your wet baby.” He says but I think it was more a passing thought because he moves right along the list. “Option four has you doing me the same. Hand down my pants and fingers around my dick.”

  I can see the glimmer in his eyes when he purposely chooses the nastier words. I bite my lip to keep from begging and go for the heavy buckle of his belt. The sound of the metal jingling makes my stomach drop in memory, but I refuse to let the thought fully surface. This is Chad and he is good and safe and comforting. I rip his belt from the loops, and it falls to the floor. I don’t even attempt to undo his pants I just slip my hand beneath his jeans and boxers and find him hard and waiting for my touch. The first stroke makes him groan while his tongue is in my mouth and I love knowing he likes my touch.

  “I want option five baby.” He says and thrusts those talented digits inside of me with practiced friction and he has me teetering on the brink.

  “What’s option five?” I pant, my hand pumping and my hips rocking against him.

  He pulls his hand free from me and steps back
from my body. I no longer have him in my hand or inside of me but before I can make him come back to me, he grabs the waist of my Capri’s and lifts me yanking them down, panties and all.

  He pulls them from my now bare feet having lost my flip flops somewhere and he places my bare bottom back on the counter. Oh God this is it. I no longer want to complain at the loss of his fingers because I want this so much more. He drops to his knees before me and I don’t even get a chance to wonder why because the first swipe of his hot tongue against me takes all thought from my brain. Now there is only Chad and I grip the counter with both hands until my knuckles are white.

  “Legs over my shoulders baby.” I follow his instruction and then he is back on me, spreading me with his thumbs and tasting the most intimate place on my body. All I can hear are my gasps and the words Chad says against my flesh. “So good Carrie… fucking perfect baby.”

  I say nothing because he has taken me to a place that is beyond all thought unless it involves him and what he is doing to my body. I am overwhelmed and so elated because I never thought I could or would experience such euphoria. I had been terrified and scared for so long, shamed by my abuse. Here and now there was nothing, but Chad and I welcomed the way he consumed me.

  “So close baby, let me have it.” My body is shaking, and I am rocking against his face like a damn maniac and I can’t find it in me to care. I am close and I want this feeling to last forever. I feel that familiar tremble inside and I cry out his name. “That’s my girl.” He slips in two fingers and I shatter around him unable to control myself. “It’s mine, it’s mine.” He chants and finishes me off. Slowly and with enough effort to make me shiver he pulls his fingers back and stands between my legs. His eyes are dark and full of needs and desires that I am welcoming gladly. He watches me, maybe looking for signs of duress or fear but he smiles when all he sees is a satisfied girl desperate for more. I bring my shaking hands up and run them through his hair before kissing him and tasting myself on his lips.