“You two, go ahead. I’ll be out soon,” Bridget instructed.
Billy and Katie nodded their heads simultaneously.
Billy gave Bridget a smile and wink before giving her a few minutes to pull herself together.
Katie’s final comment before closing the door brought a smile to her face. “It’s busy. It’s like everyone who ever ate here showed up.”
Chapter Eleven
November 1995
Bridget
Bridget sat in one of the open desks, writing her latest short story. This classroom had become her safe haven during the school day. Every lunch hour, she would sit with her teacher to eat and write. It was the only time of day she didn’t have someone whispering behind her back just loud enough for her to hear or have people staring at her stomach. Except today. She could feel Mrs. Langston’s eyes on her. Bridget lifted her head once more, catching her teacher off guard.
Her Creative Writing teacher sighed before taking another sip of coffee. She sat behind her desk, red pen in hand, as she read through pages and pages of probably awful writing.
“Bridget? Have you told your dad yet?”
Bridget shook her head no, dropped her pen, and covered her face with her hands. It had been more than two weeks since she promised to tell him, but every day she chickened out.
Her teacher’s face softened along with her voice as she moved from behind her desk to sit next to Bridget. “You’re starting to show. I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed.”
Bridget’s hand slid back and forth across her tight belly. It had been a month since she’d been able to wear most of her jeans and she was down to one pair and her sweats. At seventeen weeks, it was getting harder to hide her growing stomach. With her dad out of town, he hadn’t had a chance to notice. He had been out of town much longer than he initially planned. Three weeks had turned into three months. He had gotten back a few weeks ago and was already getting ready to leave again. She’d only seen him a handful of times and each time she wore a sweatshirt or hoodie that easily covered her bump.
“I’m not. If anything, he probably thinks I’m getting fat.”
“You need to tell him, sweetie. I bet he will surprise you.”
“I know.” She did, but every time she asked to talk to him, he’d either tell her “later” or he’d sigh heavily, fold his arms, and ask, “What now?” Each time, she had backed down and asked him a simple question.
“No more excuses.”
“I know. I know.” Bridget sat in her chair no longer excited about her story idea and dreading the conversation she had to have with her dad.
The bell rang, and the anxiety of leaving the safety of the classroom returned. Her teacher patted her on the shoulder. “It’s all going to work out, Bridget.” Mrs. Langston was her favorite teacher, but she really didn’t understand what Bridget was going through.
When she opened the door, the noise of kids rushing to their lockers bombarded her. She made a right to walk down the hall to stop at her locker and pick up her chemistry book. Her stomach dropped when she saw Tiffany. Her former ‘best friend’ bumped her shoulder and mouthed an exaggerated ‘whore’ as she passed. Everywhere she went, people whispered behind her back, or worse, they didn’t. She preferred not to know what people said about her.
It wasn’t the girl at the pharmacy that spread the news but Tiffany. Torturing Bridget had become her mission, and she had recruited the girls who were her freinds now to her cause.
Bridget was now the official outcast of her class and, on a good day, barely rose above the guy who never showered or brushed his teeth. Every day, Bridget made her way down the hall and did her best to become invisible.
She almost flunked her first class because she refused to perform a required speech, but her teacher had taken pity and allowed her to do a much bigger project to make it up. It was worth it. School was something to survive. She had managed to keep her grades up, which was a little easier to do after she lost her job. Her employer loved her, but she wasn’t able to keep food down and had called in sick more often than she had shown up to work. They had to let her go, and with all the college students back in town, finding a new one had been difficult.
On her walk home, Bridget tried to remind herself that she made it through another day. It was getting harder and harder to keep a positive attitude, but she would for her baby.
Her dad’s car sat in the driveway when she arrived home. It was hours before he was scheduled to be home. She zipped up her hoodie and stuffed her hands in the pocket, making it appear loose around her belly.
The kitchen and living room were empty, and the light was off in his bedroom. It was odd, but she didn’t think anything of it. She didn’t bother yelling that she was home. He wouldn’t care. She grabbed a juice out of the fridge before heading to her bedroom. Her bedroom door sat ajar and the light was on. She could have sworn she turned it off when she left that morning.
Something wasn’t right. Her heart raced as she got closer. She pushed the door open and stepped inside. Her dad sat on her bed, holding an open journal. His fists were white from the viselike grip he had on the book.
“You’re pregnant?” His voice was low and barely controlled. Shivers ran down her spine. For the first time, he terrified her. She’d never seen him so angry. Most days he appeared indifferent but not now.
“Answer me!” Repelled by the sheer rage coming off him, she jumped back. His already red face turned nearly purple as he hurled the journal in her direction. It slammed into the doorjamb beside her head.
“Dad...” Her voice shook with fear. She’d be surprised if he even heard her over his ragged panting.
“I should have known you would be nothing but trouble. You are, aren’t you?”
She cringed and sank back against the wall, trying to make herself small. “Yes.”
“How far along, and what exactly is your plan?”
“I’m seventeen weeks and,” she gulped, “I’m not sure.”
“You better figure it out.” He stood and paced the bedroom with his arms crossed.
“What about the father?”
She was embarrassed to admit that she was a fool, but he wouldn’t let it go until she told him. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Of course. You just couldn’t keep your legs closed.” His voice went icy. “I will not support you and a baby. You are too much to reasonably expect of anyone.”
She absorbed his words. As painful as they were, they were not a surprise.
“You’re getting an abortion.”
“No.” It wasn’t any easier to say no to her dad than it was to Phillip.
“Yes. I’ll find a place, and we’ll get you in right away.”
“NO! I won’t.”
“An abortion or leave. Those are your options.”
Abortion would never be an option. She couldn’t. Ever. The baby was the only love she had left.
“Listen to me; a child will ruin your life. You are your own proof. You want to raise a child that’s going to get knocked up as a teenager?”
Taking her silence as his answer. “I didn’t think so. You’re only option is to leave or terminate. Make up your mind. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He took one more look at her, this time glancing at her belly. His mouth twisted as if he had just bitten into an apple and found a worm, but it didn’t matter. He had admitted what she already knew. She ruined his life with her very existence. Her legs were too shaky to hold her. She slid down the wall and reached to pick up the journal he had thrown. There were three others on her bed that he must have gone through. She wanted to know why he bothered. He had never even hinted that he cared, so why now?
She called a work friend to see if she could stay with her but was told, “No way,” her parents would kill her if she brought home a pregnant friend. The girl’s parents weren’t the only ones afraid to have her around their impressionable daughters. She called one other girl she studied with, but she
said no as well.
Now what?
She sat on her bed, barely keeping the panic at bay. After Tiffany, she thought she had nobody; now she really didn’t. She laid down and rolled to her side, hugging her pillow and wishing for her mom. Even though she knew better, she felt abandoned by everyone, including her mother.
Everyone leaves me.
She rubbed her belly one more time before getting up and pulling down her suitcase from her closet shelf. If it was just her, she might have given up, but she had someone to live for now.
Her bag filled up quickly with the few clothes that still fit, the piles of baby supplies she had bought over the past few months at garage sales, and her schoolbooks. A picture of her and her mother wrapped carefully in a baby blanket was the last thing she placed in her suitcase before closing it. She took the little cash she had out of its hiding spot. It wasn’t much, but maybe it would be enough to cover dinner and a motel room. Tomorrow, she’d check out the shelters.
She lifted it and carried it downstairs until she reached the bottom where she could pull it on its rollers.
Her dad was nowhere in sight. She didn’t bother saying goodbye or leaving a note. He’d be relieved to have her gone. As she stepped out the door, she heard her father say, “Don’t bother coming back.” He stood a couple of yards behind her. His arms hung at his sides and his expression was completely blank. His empty eyes held her gaze before she backed out and shut the door behind her. Her hand held onto the doorknob. She willed him to come after her and ask her to stay, but after a few minutes...nothing. She was nothing.
The sky was already darkening in the early afternoon; a slight breeze blew against her as she dragged her bag to the bus stop. The muscles of her stomach ached from pulling the weight of her suitcase. She decided to make one stop before finding a hotel.
She arrived at the corner at the same time as the bus. An older gentleman carried her bag up the bus steps and rolled it to her seat. She smiled at him in thanks as tears pooled behind her eyes at the kind gesture of the stranger. Minutes later, she dragged her bag behind her toward the fraternity house where she had met Phillip for the first time.
As she got to the first step, two guys came out carrying backpacks. She recognized them as friends of Phillip. When they saw her standing there, one of them snickered, the other poked his head in the door and yelled for Phillip. Phillip ran down the stairs and landed in front of the door with a thud. He smiled at the guys, asking what they wanted when he noticed her. “Good luck, dude,” one of them said. She didn’t see which since she hadn’t taken her eyes off of Phillip. She hoped he would look as bad as she felt, but he looked…the same. Apparently, their breakup had been no big deal. She thought he loved her, but she was wrong.
He closed the door as he stepped outside without shoes or a coat. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at her expectantly.
Talking to him suddenly felt like a bad idea. He stood staring, not saying a word, but his eyes moved to her slight bump. Her hands automatically covered it, feeling the need to protect her baby from his hate. His body stilled for just a moment, then he lifted his eyes to look her in the face. His features darkened and the Phillip she knew and loved was truly gone.
“What do you want?” His voice sounded cold and menacing.
“My dad kicked me out.”
His jaw tightened as he looked away. He wouldn’t even face her when he asked, “What does that have to do with me?”
“Phillip…” she begged.
“How do I even know that’s my baby?”
“I’ve only been with you.”
“You lied to me, so how do I know you aren’t lying about this? I mean you were good. I totally believed you were a virgin. How naïve am I?”
“I was a virgin.” She wanted to punch him. He was so far from the man she loved, she barely recognized him. “Why are you doing this? I love you. You said you loved me.”
“I did until I found out you lied.” He finally turned to face her. “That baby isn’t mine.”
“Yes, it is!” She fisted her palms. “Please, Phillip, I need a place to stay.”
He looked down at her from his perch on the top of the stairs. His eyes darkened as he spit at her. “I. Don’t. Care.” He had barely finished the last word before his face softened and she swore she saw pain in his eyes.
This wasn’t him. Why was he being so cruel? “You love me. I know you do.”
His voice softened, but the anger was still there. “You need to get rid of it, for your sake, Bridget.” She could only shake her head. Why did they keep saying this? There was a human being growing inside her.
“Bri…” he sighed.
Shawn walked up the sidewalk, passing them. He took one look at her and shook his head. “Hey, tell Tiffany to stop calling me.”
“She’s not talking to me.”
“Figures.” He patted Phillip on the back before entering the house.
“I’ve got to go. If you need money for the procedure, I still have the money you left on the porch.”
“Keep it. Buy yourself a soul,” Bridget mumbled as she pulled her bag behind her. She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry forever, but she refused to let the tears flow. Her father and Phillip didn’t deserve them. She sat on her bag on the sidewalk, waiting for the next bus. She wasn’t sure where she was going but figured she should at least try to find a cheap motel.
She stayed on the bus until she spotted a line of motel vacancy signs. Once off the bus, she debated on whether to reserve a room or get dinner first, then the flashing neon of a diner sign caught her attention.
The warm glow from the lights inside called to her. Just as she made her decision, snow began to fall. She stepped inside and let the comfortable setting warm her skin. She stood in the doorway until she felt eyes on her.
Chapter Twelve
November 1995
Billy
“Again? I haven’t seen you in weeks. I need you, Freja.”
“Need? Really, Billy?” she teased, but he wasn’t joking. His life wasn’t funny at the moment, in fact, it leaned toward miserable. He needed her to take his mind off it. Instead, she was home studying...again.
He’d go to her, but she lived with two other girls. It was less than an ideal since he preferred to have her to himself.
“Freja, just for the night.”
“I can’t,” she huffed, her irritation growing. “Stop with the guilt trips. I told you from the beginning that I wouldn’t have much time. My grades are more important than your loneliness.”
She hit the nail on the head. He was lonely, and she had the ability to make him forget for a little while. He didn’t think he was asking too much for one night.
Their relationship wasn’t what he imagined. He had expected to see her every weekend, but they’d only spent five nights together in three months. They talked on the phone several times a week, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more than what she was able to give.
“Fine.” He wanted to slam the phone down but managed to tell her he loved her before they hung up.
Frustrated, in more ways than one, Billy dragged himself out of the office with a pile of paperwork and took a seat in the corner booth. It was his favorite spot; it reminded him of his mother. When he closed his eyes, he imagined sitting next to her with her cheery smile and plump cheeks. As a child, he’d sat next to her and played with the printing calculator as he ‘helped’ her count receipts and fill out orders.
It was in these random moments that he missed her the most. Regret washed over him as he thought of the time he had wasted not appreciating his parents. With the palm of his hand, he rubbed his chest, soothing the ache.
A few frustrating hours later, he got up to grab another cup of coffee. The dinner rush was over, leaving the diner quiet and Diane as the only waitress. A couple sat at the opposite end of the diner, and a sleepy trucker, relaxing in a booth nearby, had dozed off cradling his cup of coffee.
Billy cursed th
e pile of paperwork as he sat back down and stretched his legs out on the opposite bench. The bell over the door jingled, disturbing the quiet of the evening.
A girl, maybe mid-teen, stepped inside pulling a duffel bag nearly as big as her. She unzipped her coat and glanced around the room until her eyes met his. Her hand covered her stomach, drawing his attention to the small belly bump.
When she noticed him staring, she dropped her hand and blushed. For a moment, she appeared to be debating whether to stay. Her hand tightened its grip on her bag. She looked at the door behind her then forward toward the long line of empty barstools. With one last look at him, she turned and made her way to a middle stool. She settled her bag next to the stool, stepped on the foot bar, and heaved herself onto the seat.
Diane passed by, placing a glass of water and a menu in front of her. “I’ll be right back, sweetie.” Her voice was sugar sweet and her tone motherly.
The girl fumbled with her wallet. With trembling hands, she counted her money and bit her lower lip. She looked on the edge of tears. Judging by the red-rimmed eyes, it probably was not the first time that night.
Billy had no explanation for why he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was pretty but too young to be someone he’d be interested in; however, there was something about her that held his attention. She was cute, edging on adorable, with long wavy brown hair, dark eyes, and long lashes, but her pale skin was red and blotchy. Her shoulders sagged more and more the longer she sat at the counter.
He picked up the paperwork and made his way to the office. When he passed by, Diane stepped in front of her to take her order.
“Ready?” Diane asked.
“Umm, yeah.” Her voice was high, barely above a whisper. “I’ll have the soup, and can I get extra crackers?”
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