Silence hung between them. She stood in front of him in only her bra and panties, leaving her exposed. She pulled her clothes back on while she waited for him to say something. Anything.
Then he did.
He took two large steps until he stood in front of her. She could see the war going on inside. It was the same one she fought hiding the truth. “Why did you lie to me?” His blue eyes filled with tears. “I thought we had something.”
“We do have something.” Bridget planted her hand against his chest, allowing herself to touch him, even if it was for the last time. “I’m so sorry. I just...I didn’t want to lose you. I love you.”
“Lose me?” The obvious hurt and betrayal turned to anger. He pushed her hand away and yelled, “You risked me going to prison for what? Because you didn’t want to lose me? This could ruin my future...my life! I could go to prison and lose my chance of getting my law degree.” Phillip turned away from her, as if looking at her caused him pain. “My dad... I’d never hear the end of it.”
“He’ll find out, eventually.”
He turned around and pointed a finger at her. “No. He’s not. You’re going to get an abortion.”
Who is this person?
This wasn’t her Phillip. He’d never speak to her in this way. This person was cold and without feeling.
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You’re fucking sixteen years old. You’re a child, Bridget! You can’t have a baby.”
She cringed as he yelled in her face. With false confidence she said, “We.”
“What?” he asked exasperated.
“We...there are two of us. We are pregnant, you and I.” She pointed back and forth between them. “We can find a cheap apartment. I’m still working, and I’m sure we can work our schedules so one of us is with the baby. It’ll be spring. Football season will be over and—”
“STOP! You have got to be kidding. What fantasy world are you living in?” For the first time, she was actually afraid of him. His voice rose with every word.
“Phillip, please. I love you and I love our baby.” His face blanched at her endearment.
“No.”
That was it. That was the last word he said before pulling money out of his wallet and handing it to her.
Bridget left it at the top of the stairs.
The bus ride home felt twice as long, and when she got to her house, Tiffany stood in her driveway with red puffy eyes.
She wanted to run to her friend and cry on her shoulder. Before she could, Tiffany got in her face and yelled, “He called Shawn. Now neither of us have a boyfriend. You couldn’t remember a stupid condom? How stupid are you? Or did you do it on purpose? You ruined my life, that baby’s,” pointing to Bridget’s stomach, “and Phillip’s. No wonder your dad hates you.”
Bridget stood motionless and in shock.
What just happened?
“I hate you!” Tiffany screamed before climbing into her car and speeding away.
Bridget stared at the empty space that was occupied only moments ago by her only friend.
“I have no one.”
The truth was a punch to the gut, and the loneliness overwhelmed her.
In her bedroom that night, she stayed awake pouring her heart out in her journal, missing her mom more than ever.
She held her hand across her stomach and made a promise to her unborn child. “I’ll always be here for you.”
Chapter Nine
August 1995
Billy
“What?” he growled after the third set of knocks in as many minutes. Between employee spats, customer complaints, and vendor calls, he was losing his patience.
Diane rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. “Hey, crabby, someone is here for you.” Considering the way they’d been arguing, he was surprised she called him something besides jerk or idiot.
They’d been at each other’s throats for a few weeks, neither backing down. It started out with him making a few changes and her reminding him, “That’s not how your parents did it.”
The more she pushed, the more he pushed back until they were at a stalemate. She kept doing things the old way, and he kept encouraging the other employees to do it his way. She caved, but now made it a point to end every conversation with a comment under her breath.
He daydreamed of firing her, but it wasn’t an option. He loved her, even if she made him crazy. Plus, his parents would never forgive him.
“Can’t you deal with it?” His attention was focused on the computer and figuring out the new program.
“No.” He waited for her to finish with a smart-aleck response, but after a few silent seconds, he dragged his eyes to the empty doorway.
“Of course.” Shoving away from the desk, he cursed under his breath. He was going to have to apologize to her; otherwise, their standoff would never end.
The noise from the diner grated on his already-frayed nerves. His eyes pinched closed as he rubbed them with his fists. A dull ache lingered behind his eyes.
If it weren’t for the mountain of paperwork, he would’ve played hooky. He was overdue for a guys’ night with his old buddies. But the threat of Diane’s nagging voice and fear of failing his parents kept him from leaving. He drudged through the monotony of his days.
One thousand five hundred eighty-seven days until he could place the diner on the market. Give or take a day.
Yeah, I’m counting.
He barely missed a collision with a waitress coming through the swinging double doors. With his shoulders back and a forced smile, he prepared himself for the worst.
Diane flew by him with an arm full of dirty dishes and pointed to the counter with her head. His eyes followed the long line until they met the last person he ever expected to see in his diner.
Their eyes met and he sucked in a breath, blowing it out slowly. He’d ask Diane to pinch him, but she’d draw too much pleasure from it and most likely blood.
“Billy.” Her voice shook as she tightened her grip on her purse. Afraid that she was a mirage and could disappear, he didn’t take his eyes off of her.
One second he was behind the counter, the next he stood in front of her, wanting to touch her, kiss her and drag her out of there so they could be alone. “Freja.”
Her smile brightened as she exhaled softly. “Hi.”
Unable to hold back, he pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. He had to touch her, smell her, and taste her.
She was here.
In his diner.
In his arms.
A million questions raced through his mind, but none of them mattered. Not when her fingers ran through his hair, and he felt the warmth of her breath on his cheek.
“Billy.” Her breathy voice ignited his need for her.
He kissed her neck and breathed her in. “You’re here.”
A soft cry escaped her lips as she nodded.
He pulled away just enough to watch a tear streak down her cheek. He kissed it, tasting its saltiness on his tongue.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me,” she whispered.
If she only knew. He thought of her every day and wished he had said something before leaving. “I’m so sorry, Freja. I should have said—”
“Don’t.” She covered his lips with her long, delicate fingers. “You don’t have to say a word. You were in shock and grieving.”
This amazing woman was standing in front of him and he wasn’t kissing her. He remedied that. “You’re here,” he said again just as he slid a hand behind her neck and pulled her closer until their lips met.
He’d missed this. He’d missed her.
His arm tightened around her waist until there wasn’t space between them while their lips and tongues got reacquainted.
“Excuse me.” Diane bumped them with her hip.
He pulled away and smiled at Diane for the first time since he’d returned.
“Diane, I’d like you to meet Freja.”
Diane stared at him
with her jaw hanging low. “Nice to meet you.”
He gave her a wink while he took Freja’s hand.
“Why? When? Wait. First.” Taking a deep breath, he pulled his thoughts together. “How long are you going to be here?”
“I can stay until morning.” For the first time since they met, she blushed under his stare.
“Diane! You’re in charge,” he yelled over his shoulder.
“I know,” Diane said dryly. She winked and said something about finally seeing the old Billy under her breath.
Holding Freja’s hand, they passed through the kitchen and out the back door. He stole a kiss until they were breathless before opening the passenger door for her.
Never taking his eyes off her, he ran around the truck.
They held hands, neither saying a word during their short ride to his house, but they stole glances every few seconds. His house was barely a mile away, yet still too far.
When he pulled into the driveway, they both hopped out and met in front of the truck, reaching for each other as they walked up to his front door. He barely had the door closed before pinning her to the wall and taking everything she gave him. Their mouths explored each other as if it was their first time. They left a trail of clothes from the front door to his childhood bedroom. As he stood naked in his room, he imagined teenage Billy having a stroke over the idea of having this sexy woman naked and willing in his bedroom.
“I still can’t believe you’re here!”
Those were the last words spoken until they were calling out each other’s names.
He rolled to his side and held her against his body, exactly where she belonged. He took his first true deep breath since arriving home two months ago. With her here, the stresses of life faded away.
“We should have talked before I attacked you, but I don’t think I could have gone another minute without touching you.”
“I’m not complaining. We’ll have plenty of time to talk.”
“I think you’re underestimating my need to have you again before you leave.” She smiled and giggled into his chest. He lifted his head to look into her eyes. Wait. What did she mean by plenty of time? She said she had to leave in the morning. According to him, that was never going to be enough time.
Too many questions.
First. “What are you doing here?”
She pushed away from him, giving them space that he didn’t appreciate. “Are you upset?”
He rolled on top of her, making it impossible for her to get away. “Complete opposite. As I’m sure you can feel,” he said while leaving a trail of kisses from just below her ear to her beautiful breasts. “Tell me everything,” he demanded between kisses.
Her breath caught as his tongue swirled around a nipple. He smiled as he kissed his way to the other one. “You’re not talking.”
“I can’t when you do that.” She breathed out and cradled his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.
“Next week, I start medical school...in Phoenix.”
What?
“Why didn’t you tell me when we met?”
“We were a fling, or at least it started out that way.”
He kissed her lips. “It’s more.”
“Yeah. But then you left and didn’t say anything about seeing me again...” He kissed her again to assure her it wasn’t just a fling for him. “I tried to think of you as an incredible memory. It didn’t work. I don’t want just a memory.”
“You’re living in Phoenix?” he asked in disbelief. Only a few hours away instead of an ocean.
“At least for the next four years. I start Monday, which is why I have to leave tomorrow.”
“But you can come back?”
“If you want me to,” she said timidly.
“Of course I do!”
“I don’t know how much time I’ll have, and you’re busy with the diner, but I want to see you again. If you want.”
“Oh. I want.” He pushed into her as she wrapped her legs around him.
After another round with only moans and screams as communication, he held her as they filled each other in on the past couple months.
Once they said goodbye in Madrid, she cut her trip short and went home to spend time with her parents before flying to the States. She had been in Phoenix for two weeks before she got the nerve to drive to Flagstaff in search of him. She knew his parents owned a diner and went to three others before finding his.
“What about you?” She kissed the circles under his eyes and waited for him to speak.
He wasn’t sure where to begin. “After the funeral, all my time and energy has gone into the diner. I’m overwhelmed, exhausted, and lonely. Then I come home and I’m bombarded with memories of my parents. This is their home—or, I guess, mine now. It doesn’t feel like mine.”
“You need to make it your own.”
“Yeah. I suppose.”
“We can work on it together, or at least when I can visit.”
“I love that idea.” He kissed her forehead and caressed her naked form. It felt like years since he’d touched her or been inside her. He needed her again. And again.
Chapter Ten
August 8:00 AM
Bridget
Bridget reached into her back pocket, pulling out her phone at the first vibration.
Phillip.
“Katie, can you take these plates to table five for me?”
“Of course.” Katie nearly sang her response as she pushed her way through the double doors.
Her daughter’s cheerful voice made Bridget smile, but the conversation she had to have next forced her to take a deep, ragged breath. Talking to him hadn’t gotten easier. There was a time when she would have done anything to have him call.
She slid the bar across the face of the phone as she walked into Billy’s office, closing the door behind her. “Hey.”
“Hi.” His voice was gentle, yet nervous. It had been that way since they first talked back in May.
She closed her eyes, remembering that voice. It was more mature than her memories but still the same. It was the voice she heard when she thought back to the first time they made love. The day that changed everything.
“We just landed and are headed to the hotel to check in. What time can we come by?”
Bridget leaned her forehead against the wall and rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. Phillip and his wife, Jennifer, were here for Katie’s goodbye party.
By the end of the day, Katie would be living only an hour away from them. It was a coincidence that Katie had picked a university near Phillip. A coincidence Bridget wasn’t sure she liked. She hadn’t known where Phillip lived until she told him where Katie was going to school. As much as she wished that Katie stayed closer to home, she knew it would be easier for Phillip since they agreed he would build a relationship with Katie before telling her who he was. He and Jennifer flew in for a quick visit with his parents and to meet Katie.
“It’s going to be in a couple of hours, here at the diner with her school friends and the regulars who’ve been here for us since the beginning.”
His silence was potent. “Bridget...”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a fact. No need to apologize. So I’ll see you in a few?”
“Yes. See you soon.” She could tell he was still beating himself up over their past.
At one time, she’d hoped he was as tortured as she was, but in the past few months things had changed between them. She was ready to let go of her anger and forgive him and herself.
She spent many nights worrying over her decision to contact him. In the end, it had to be done for Katie’s sake. Katie had a right to know her dad.
Billy walked in just as she hung up. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. “Was that him?” The tight muscles in his neck and furrowed brows expressed his agitation.
“Yes.” She laid her phone on the desk and wiped her sweaty hands on her shorts. “They’ll be here soon.” Her voice f
aded until it was barely above a whisper.
Feeling a deep sense of shame, she swiveled the chair to turn away from him. She bent over, covering her face with her hands. “I’ve made so many mistakes, Billy, and I can’t take them back. I need to fix this.” She hadn’t told Billy she contacted Phillip until a few weeks ago. Billy’s face held a similar expression now as it had then.
He rounded the desk and crouched in front of her. Pulling her hands away from her face, he asked, “Why are you taking the blame for this?” He lifted her chin with one finger, forcing her gaze up.
“Billy. I did things I’m ashamed to admit. What happened between us… I had a huge part in it. I spent years laying all the fault on him without considering what I did. He made choices based on…”
“But—”
She didn’t let him finish. “I know. I know. I know. He had his part, but still…it’s time for me to make it up to both of them.”
Billy sighed. “I don’t understand it, but I’m here for you.”
He placed his hand against her cheek, never taking his eyes off her. “I’m here,” he repeated.
Katie wasn’t the only person who needed to hear the whole truth. Bridget had kept it from Billy, as well, not wanting him to think badly of her.
“Hey, I need help out here.” Katie’s smiling face appeared in the doorway. Billy stood up and offered his hand. “We’re coming.”
“Mom? Crying again?” Katie asked with a teasing tone.
“Just wait! In forty years, when your daughter leaves for college, you’ll be just as emotional,” Bridget teased back.
“Forty?” With eyebrows high, Katie asked, “You’re giving me permission to have a child by the time I’m forty? So soon?”
If there was one mantra Bridget wanted Katie to remember, it was education before marriage and children. Bridget had never regretted having Katie, but she would never want this life for her daughter. She wanted her daughter to experience life and do all the things she wished she could have done.
“You’re lucky I’m agreeing to forty,” Bridget managed to say with a straight face until Katie broke out in a fit of giggles. That sound was music to Bridget’s ears and got her through every tough day since Katie’s birth.
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