Until Now

by Cristin Cooper

  A sigh escaped her lips when he placed an arm around her and pulled her to his side. She wanted the right to be at his side and to have him touch her all the time. “Thanks for being here.”

  He lifted her chin with a finger so she could see his face. “I’m always here for you, Bridget.”

  “I know.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

  Tightening his hold on her shoulder, he kissed the top of her head. Her heart broke just a little when she thought about going back to their normal friendship. She was going to miss his touches, and how right it felt to be in his arms.

  Katie’s laugh reminded her why she was sitting next to him. “I should’ve introduced them the first time he came to the diner years ago.” She nervously adjusted and readjusted the place settings and wiped away pretend crumbs off the table.

  “Bridget.” He let out a long sigh and placed a hand on top of hers to still her movements. “You were protecting Katie. No one can blame you for it.”

  She faced Billy and shared her greatest fear. “Katie might.”

  He shook his head ‘no’. “Katie loves you.”

  “Will she forgive me for not allowing Phillip to be in her life? She was only a toddler when he came looking for us. They could’ve had a relationship this whole time, but I was too afraid of him hurting her…and me.”

  “They’re just meeting today, right? Give them a chance to get to know each other before you worry about something that might not happen.”

  “Billy…”

  “I get it. She might be upset, but your relationship is stronger than this. She knows you love her and that you’ve done everything you could for her.”

  “I can’t lose her, Billy. She’s all I have. Phillip at least has a wife and two other kids. It’s just me and her.”

  Exasperated, he said, “You’re not alone, Bridget.”

  “You know what I mean. We’re not together. I’m not with anyone.”

  He silently looked away, proving her point. How she wished he would prove her wrong.

  An awkward silence hung between them until Phillip slid into the seat on the other side of her.

  “Feeling better?” Bridget asked Phillip, who appeared much more relaxed than he had twenty minutes ago.

  “Yes.” He smiled and let out a strained laugh. “For now.” Phillip’s eyes were on his daughter, who sat at the long counter with her close friends.

  “Let me get her.” Bridget offered.

  “I can wait until they leave before we make introductions.” It was sweet of Phillip to offer, but she could see that he was anxious and wouldn’t be able to wait much longer.

  “It’s okay. They’ve been out late every night this week. Plus, I told her that there was someone I wanted her to meet. She’s waiting for me to get her.”

  “Billy?” She bumped his arm to get his attention. “Can you let me out?” He slid off the bench and offered a hand to help her out.

  She walked up to Katie and her friends and hugged her daughter from behind. “Hey, sweetie. You ready?”

  “Yeah. I just need to say one last goodbye.” She hopped off her stool as all five girls let out an “Awww” in unison, causing Bridget to laugh.

  “It’s going to be so quiet around here without all of you keeping me entertained.”

  “Come here, Mama Bridget.” Lindy, Katie’s best friend since preschool, gave her a warm hug and promised she’d stop by to visit every chance she got.

  “I want a promise from all of you,” Bridget warned as she gave each girl a hug goodbye.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll visit. As long as Billy is here.”

  “EWWWW! Don’t talk about my Billy like that.” Katie cringed and made a gagging noise.

  “Bridget, you have to admit he’s hot for an old dude,” Lindy said a little too loud. Bridget looked over her shoulder at Billy, who was barely containing a grin.

  “Yes. He’s very hot for an old dude. Now, I need to steal my daughter.” Bridget waited for Katie to say goodbye then led her to the table. She sat down first, scooting next to Billy, giving Katie enough room to sit.

  Bridget reached for Billy’s outstretched hand under the table and didn’t let go. He gave her a warm smile and looked to Phillip.

  “Katie, I’d like you to meet my…my friend, Phillip. Phillip, this is my daughter, Katie.”

  With a huge smile on her face, Katie put her hand out. Phillip’s hand visibly shook as he reached for Katie’s. She didn’t seem to notice.

  His voice shook as he spoke. “It’s nice to meet you finally.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” Katie, who’d always been naturally friendly, seemed unsure and looked at Bridget quizzically. Bridget hadn’t told Katie much besides wanting her to meet an old friend.

  It was awkwardly silent for a moment. Phillip couldn’t take his eyes off Katie as she sat uncomfortable with all eyes on her. Bridget broke the silence. “Phillip and his family live about an hour away from the university.”

  “Oh, I see!” Katie laughed then wrapped an arm around Bridget. “Mom is being over protective. Did she ask you to keep an eye on me?”

  “I…uh,” Phillip stammered unable to respond. For someone who had to speak with confidence for a living, he was barely getting through the introduction.

  “He’s not going to babysit you. I want you to know someone close by, in case you need anything.”

  “Yes,” Phillip finally spoke. “My wife, Jenny, and I would love to get to know you and have you over. We have two kids. Kayla, who just turned ten, and James, who is seven and a half.”

  “Oh. Do you have a picture?”

  “Yes, I do.” He reached for his phone and flipped through it until he pulled up pictures of his kids. A small trickle of sweat on his forehead had increased and was dripping down his cheeks. When he was younger, he had always appeared confident, even at times when he wasn’t, but today he was a wreck. For a moment, Bridget considered calling Jennifer so she could be here with him. He didn’t seem to be doing well.

  “You have a beautiful family.” Katie looked at the picture, then at him, then back to the photo. “You’re kids have your eyes.”

  It felt as if all the oxygen in the room was sucked out with one comment. Katie stared at Phillip with a half-smile then to her mother. Did Katie notice that they were the same eyes that she had? The table went silent, except for the thump thump thump of Bridget’s heart. “Oh God,” Bridget whispered. Billy tightened his hold on her hand then used his other to soothingly rub her arm.

  “Yeah, I guess they do.” Phillip picked up a napkin and wiped at the sweat on his forehead and neck.

  Katie tilted her head to the side and squinted. “Are you sure we haven’t met before? You look familiar.”

  “No, we never met. I think you were around two when I last saw you.”

  “So how long have you known my mom?”

  “Let’s see. We met when Bri was fifteen?” He looked to Bridget for confirmation.

  She nodded.

  “Whoa. Bri? That’s my middle name? Katherine Bree Larson.” She turned to face Bridget. “Is he why you named me Bree?”

  Billy’s grip tightened while Phillips jaw hung low. “Actually, yes. I always liked it when he called me Bri, and I thought it went well with your first name.”

  “That’s cool. You guys must’ve been close friends.” Nobody said a word, but Katie didn’t notice. “Okay, where were we? You were about to tell me where you two met.”

  “Oh…yes. We…uh…” It took Phillip a few seconds for his brain to catch up.

  Bridget wasn’t sure she’d recover from the minor heart attack she’d had waiting for Katie to make the connections.

  “I met her and her friend Tiffany at a party.”

  “You know Tiffany?” Katie said excitedly.

  “Yeah. She was dating a friend of mine at the time.”

  “I bet she was exactly the same as she is today. Kind of crazy and fun?”

  Phillip chuckled. “Yes.
” He looked over at Bridget. “I didn’t know you were still friends with her.”

  “Yeah. About eight years ago she came to see me and we…talked.” Bridget looked at her daughter and smiled as she hid how she actually felt about Tiffany. Tiffany apologized, but she hadn’t changed much since they were friends in high school. “She comes by to see us every time she’s in town.”

  “So, you met Mom at a party? Did you date each other?” Katie asked.

  “Yes, we did. For a few months.”

  It was coming. She could feel it. Katie’s inquisitive nature always popped up at the most inconvenient times.

  “Why did you break up?”

  He hung his head down and fidgeted with the silverware on the table.

  “You don’t have to answer that!” Bridget said loudly, startling everyone at the table.

  “Oh, Mom. Fine, don’t answer, but can you tell me what she was like?”

  “I can do that.” He smiled at Bridget then back to his daughter. “She was—is—beautiful. In fact, you look just like her at that age. She was shy and sweet. Everyone who met her fell in love with her.”

  “Even you?”

  A choking sound escaped Phillip’s mouth.

  “Katie,” Bridget warned. She didn’t want to talk about this, not when it still brought tears to her eyes.

  “Especially me.” He gave Bridget a smile before turning back to his daughter. “She was also brave. The strongest person I know. I wish I could have had her strength.”

  Bridget felt the tears well up behind her eyes.

  No. No. No. No more tears!

  They needed to change the subject before she broke down in front of them.

  “So pretty much the same as today,” Katie said with a laugh.

  “Probably. I doubt she’s changed. There was always something special about your mother.”

  Katie’s eyes had barely left Phillip until he said that. She looked at Bridget as if she had never seen her before, or maybe Katie saw her for the first time through someone else’s eyes.

  Billy spoke up for the first time since they sat down. “Will you excuse us? I need Bridget’s help with a few things before she takes Katie to the airport.”

  “Sure.” Phillip slid out, allowing Bridget and Billy to leave them alone. He looked relieved not to have them as an audience.

  Billy dragged her toward the kitchen, but she pulled her hand away as they neared the swinging doors. She turned and looked at Phillip and Katie, who seemed more at ease. He leaned in, smiling and nodding his head as she talked animatedly with her hands. Bridget wasn’t sure if she should be happy about it or not, but peace filled her as she watched them get to know each other.

  “Everything is going to be okay,” Billy whispered in her ear.

  “I know.” She turned to Billy. “There are some things I need to tell you,” she said. It was time for her to tell him about her and Phillip.

  She slid her hand into his and followed him to his office.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  July 2000

  Billy

  At the sound of his knock, he heard the patter of feet and an angelic voice yell, “Billy!” The door handle wiggled but didn’t open. He waited, tempted to pull his key out. His heart raced with nervous energy. When Preston announced that he’d be out of town and unable to take Bridget out for her twenty-first birthday, Billy didn’t think twice about offering.

  The sound of shuffling feet and the lock being turned could be heard from the opposite side of the door. Katie didn’t give him a second to prepare before she jumped into his arms. Her little body rolled with excitement. “Mom looks so beautiful. You’re going to love her!”

  He smiled at the happy little girl. “I bet she does.”

  “Your hair!” Diane made her way from the kitchen with two plates of macaroni and cheese for her and Katie. “You cut it!”

  “Yeah. It was time.” She didn’t say a word but smiled as she forced him to turn around.

  “Huh.” That didn’t sound positive. His long hair represented a time in his life that he no longer dwelled on. As much as he loved Europe, it was his past, and he was about enjoying his present. He needed the change.

  “What does that mean?” he asked.

  She shrugged her shoulders and took Katie from his arms. “Let’s pick a movie.” As Katie decided on which princess movie to watch, Diane said, “She’ll be out in just a minute.” With a wink, she said, “Katie’s right, you’ll fall in love with her tonight.”

  He loved her, but in love? Not going to happen. She was way too young and she was…Bridget.

  It didn’t matter anyway, she and Preston had been dating for a year, and Preston was head over heels in love with her and Katie. Billy hated to admit it, but Preston was a great guy. Billy also admired the way Preston treated Bridget. She was happy, and that’s all Billy wanted for her.

  The bedroom door opened, and the woman who stepped out almost knocked him off his feet.

  “Holy smokes.” He whistled his approval. His heart beat a little faster while a trickle of sweat rolled down his back. How would he keep his cool when she looked that incredible?

  Billy surprised himself when the image of kissing her shiny pink lips forced all other thoughts out of his head.

  What’s wrong with me?

  She has a boyfriend.

  “Look at me! I’m stepping out of my bedroom.” He laughed as Bridget bounced in and out of her room.

  As a gift for her birthday, he hired a contractor to put up walls, turning the studio into a two-bedroom apartment.

  She ran into his arms and hugged him. “Thank you again!” When she pulled away, her jaw dropped as she gasped. Her eyes rested on his head. Bridget lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his short hair.

  Her hands.

  Whoa. For the first time, he didn’t see a young girl, but a woman. A very sexy woman. He was speechless.

  With a smile, she whispered, “Sexy.” Not a moment later, she blushed and covered her face with her hands. “I mean, you’re always sexy.” Flustered, she kept digging herself deeper. “It looks good short, not that I didn’t like it long but…tell me to shut up.”

  No way.

  She thought he was sexy? He chuckled and pulled her back into his arms, giving her a big squeeze. “Happy birthday. I’m glad you’re enjoying your present.”

  “I love it. You give the best gifts.”

  Diane smiled knowingly as she sat on the couch eating her dinner with Katie kneeling in front of her with her plate on the coffee table. Billy remodeling the apartment for the girls after reaching the five-year anniversary of his parents’ death meant that selling was no longer an option for him.

  Katie left her spot next to Diane and stood between him and Bridget. “Isn’t she the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?” A question only a four-year-old could get away with asking.

  “Katie!” A rosy blush ran up Bridget’s cheeks as she gave her a warning.

  “I’m happy to answer.” Katie looked up at him and waited. “Your mom is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Especially tonight. Wow. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. When had she turned into a woman?

  Bridget bit her lower lip, hiding a smile. “Thanks, Billy.”

  She picked up her small purse lying on the coffee table and turned to him. “I’m so excited. There’s nobody else I’d rather get drunk with,” she said with a giggle. Even though he felt sorry she didn’t get to experience some of the rebellious activities of youth, Billy was more than happy to experience them with her now.

  He took her hand in his. “You ready?”

  “Yes!” She bent down to hug Katie goodbye. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Katie stepped behind her and pushed her to the door. “Bye.” But as he followed them, Katie turned and pulled on him until they were eye level. “Love you, my Billy.” She gave him a smacking kiss on the lips and hugged him. “See you tomorrow.” Not a moment later, she was sit
ting in front of the TV, watching her princess movie for the thousandth time.

  “Good night,” he said.

  Diane and Katie waved, but their eyes never left the screen.

  “I think she has a crush on you,” Bridget teased.

  “Phew, at least it’s not one sided. I love that girl.”

  They laced their fingers together as they descended the steps. When they reached the bottom, she gasped. “Limo?”

  He shrugged. “Since we’re planning on drinking, I thought it would be safer. You only turn twenty-one once.”

  “Billy, you shouldn’t have. This must have cost a fortune.”

  “It’s a good thing I’m paying for it then.” He nudged her forward.

  Her eyes were the size of saucers as she explored the vehicle. “I can’t believe I’m riding in a limousine.” Her smile brightened when she noticed a bottle of champagne.

  Before she could ask, he opened it and poured them each a glass. “To being legal.”

  Her tinkling laugh filled the space as she repeated his toast. Her nose scrunched at her first sip.

  “No?”

  She shook her head as she set her glass down.

  “Have you ever had alcohol?”

  “I’ve had a sip of beer. Cheap beer you get at a college party. It was horrible.”

  Was she hinting at something? It didn’t make sense. She said she wasn’t a partier. If she didn’t freeze up every time he asked about her past, he’d have her explain.

  “I hope you’re hungry!”

  “Starving. I was too excited to eat today.”

  The limo pulled up to a hole in the wall restaurant. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but they have the best Chicken Parmesan on the planet. You’ll love it.”

  “That sounds wonderful.” She didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed by the less than appealing exterior of the old building. “Is this the place you and your parents went for Sunday dinners?”

  “Yeah. I can’t believe you remember.” It had to be nearly two years ago when he told her. Even though he hadn’t been back to the restaurant since he returned from Europe, it was a place he wanted to share with Bridget.