Bracing his elbows on his knees, he gently took both of her hands in his.
Still, she said nothing. The determination she held only moments ago disappeared behind her tears. He couldn’t imagine what could be so bad that she would find it difficult to speak to him.
They had spoken openly about her mom and life pre-Phillip, but she never talked about him. Billy had always pictured them as two young teens acting stupid, but he realized today that they had actually been in love. It was obvious the feelings were mutual, considering how upset she got when Phillip told Katie that he’d loved Bridget.
Billy let go of her hand long enough to wipe her cheeks with a tissue. Giving him a slight smile, she took a deep breath. She was finally ready to talk.
“I lied to you.”
That was not what he expected. His whole body froze, unsure of what to do. He held her hand and waited for her to keeping going.
“I spent so much time being afraid. I lied…by omission.” She looked at him expectantly. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe she thought he would get upset or reject her, but he never would. She turned her head away and went on.
“Like Phillip said, I was fifteen when we met, but he had no idea. He assumed I was eighteen, and I never corrected him. He didn’t know my actual age until I told him I was pregnant.”
So many questions passed through his mind. He tried to imagine her doing that, but it was so out of character for her.
“I was afraid of losing him and, at the time, I just...couldn’t. He was the only good thing I had in my life. I needed his love and affection and wasn’t about to give it up. He would’ve dumped me if he had any idea. So I hid it from him. You see? It wasn’t his fault.” Her words were desperate and held years of pain.
“Bridget, it doesn’t make it right. He should have stuck with you.”
“Maybe…maybe not. I’m not so sure there was a good right in this case. If he admitted that he was the father, my father could’ve had him arrested. There wouldn’t have been a future for him. Every decision he made with me was based on a lie. He was—is—a good person, and he was good to me. We were young. We both made bad choices. I blamed him for everything, and I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I don’t think you would say that if you knew what I know.” He could still picture the boy leaving the maternity ward without seeing her or Katie.
“That he came to the hospital when I gave birth?” she asked.
“You knew?”
“Not back then, but he told me one evening when we talked on the phone.”
“Wow. I’m surprised.”
“Me too. But he wants to have everything out in the open. So do I. I also don’t want you to hate him because of something I did.”
“I don’t. He looks at Katie as if she was the best thing in the world. I know that look.”
“It’s the look you give her.”
“Yeah. He loves her. I can’t hate him for that.” As much as he’d like to. “But I’m jealous, Bridget.”
“Jealous?” She stared at him with wide eyes.
“He’s her dad. I want to be her dad.”
The door swung open, startling them. Bridget jumped up and stared at the open door.
“Sorry to interrupt, again, but have you seen the time? I’m going to need to leave soon.” Katie’s timing was spot on…again.
“Did Phillip leave?” Bridget asked.
“Yup. But don’t worry, he left his number, and we made plans to meet for lunch next week. He even invited me to stay with him and his family.” She gave a sweet smile, and then her mouth opened wide. “He has a large house with a pool! I think we need more friends like him.” She laughed.
“I’m glad. He’s a good man, and I like knowing you’ll have him close by.”
“I know. You just want another set of eyes on me, but I love you, you overprotective mother of mine.” She walked in and hugged Bridget. “I’m going to say goodbye to the last stragglers, then I’ll meet you upstairs. I’m still not done packing my closet, but that shouldn’t take long, and then I’ll be ready.” Katie looked over at Billy. “Can you help bring down my bags when I’m done?”
“Yes. I’m right behind you.”
He swallowed his frustration. He wanted to finish the conversation he and Bridget had started, but there wasn’t enough time. Bridget’s face held unasked questions. They’d have to wait until tonight.
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and followed Katie out of the room.
Chapter Twenty-Five
August 2001
Bridget
Preston stepped out of the office with a thousand-watt smile and a scowling Billy following behind. In fact, Billy looked as if he might break something—or someone. She loved these two men, but one didn’t like the other.
It had been two years since Bridget had gone on her first date with Preston. He’d won her over with persistence and several references from his boss, friends, and, finally, his mother. Just the thought of it made her smile. Not only was Preston sweet, but fun and smart, as well. He had never made her feel inferior because of her lack of education or her job. Most importantly, he adored Katie and understood that to love Bridget meant to love them both.
Billy leaned against his office door, rubbing his hand over his chest.
“Diane, thanks for watching Katie overnight. You have no idea how much this means to me.” Preston gave Diane a hug before putting a hand up for Katie to high five him.
“Oh. I have a pretty good idea.” Diane gave them a knowing grin.
It had been six months since the last time Bridget was able to stay the night with him. Unless Billy was babysitting, she didn’t like leaving Katie overnight, and with Billy’s quiet hostility toward Preston, she hadn’t dare ask him. Diane was more than happy to give them some much-needed ‘grown up’ time, but with her busy social calendar, she didn’t have many free nights.
“You ready to go?” Preston tugged on Bridget’s hand as they headed toward the exit. Katie gave them a wave and blew kisses as they stepped outside.
After the door had closed behind them, Bridget asked, “So what did you and Billy talk about?”
With a twinkle in his eye, he said, “You’ll find out.”
“Billy didn’t seem happy.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Preston gave her a sizzling kiss and kept her from asking more questions.
* * *
After dinner at their favorite restaurant, they went back to his house and kissed their way to his bedroom. They knew better than to waste a single kid-free moment.
He stripped her down, kissing her in all his favorite places. Hers too. She loved the way he made her feel sexy and desirable.
He held her close, chest to chest, as he looked into her eyes. “I love you, Bridget.”
She gave a teasing smile. “I can tell.” He smiled back, but the fervency of his stare made her nervous. The whole evening he had been a little more intense than usual, and she couldn’t figure out why.
He took his time to kiss and touch her until she was begging for more. They had their fast and hard moments, but not tonight. After bringing her to the edge and pushing her over with just his mouth, she rolled them over, allowing her to be on top. She returned his love in the same slow fashion until he breathed out her name with his fingers threaded through her hair.
Satiated, he pulled her to his chest, spooning her from behind. “Have I told you how much I love that you’re spending the night?”
“I think you might have mentioned it a time or two or hundred.” She turned in his arms to face him. “I like spending the night, too.”
“You do?” She wasn’t sure why he seemed so surprised by her declaration.
“Of course.” She kissed his lips in slow exploration. With one hand behind her head, he pulled her closer until their bodies melded together. He took his time cherishing every inch of her until finally bringing them to another climax.
Her last thought, before falling into an exhausted sleep,
was how comfortable and safe she felt with him. He’d never hurt her the way Phillip had. Cuddling into his arms, she kissed his chest and whispered, “I love you.”
Warm kisses on her back woke her. “Mmmm. You can keep doing that if you like.”
He chuckled near her ear before he kissed it. “I have something I want to show you, so don’t go back to sleep.” She sat up, letting the sheet slide from her naked form. “You’re killing me, Bridget. We’ll never leave this room if you don’t cover yourself.” He handed her his shirt from earlier in the evening, and as she fastened the buttons, he groaned. “That was a bad idea. You wearing my clothes isn’t helping.”
When she stared at his naked chest and jeans slung low on his hips, she understood his sentiments.
“Never mind. I’ll show you later. He wrapped an arm around her waist and laid her back, ravishing her mouth as his hands slid under the shirt.”
“Ooh. No. You woke me up to show me something, and I have a feeling it isn’t in here.” She pointed to the bed.
“It could be.” He gave her a mischievous grin.
“Come on.” She resisted his pull with effort, climbed off the bed, and headed toward the hall. “What’s so important you had to wake me up?”
He groaned into the pillow before forcing himself to meet her eyes. “It’ll be worth it. Trust me.”
He led her down the hall and stopped at one of the two spare bedrooms. She reached for the door handle, but he held her hand still. “Bridget, this room represents how serious I am about you. About us, including Katie.”
“O-okay.” She had a feeling that whatever was behind the door wasn’t going to make her nearly as happy as it did him.
He gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I love you.”
The moment the door swung open, her dinner tried to come back up.
He didn’t.
But he had. She tried to catch her breath, but it wouldn’t come. Tears streaked down her face as she looked at what could only be called a Pink Palace bedroom. A twin-size canopy bed was placed in the center of the room. Against one wall sat a white vanity with mirror. Pink and purple baskets held lip gloss and fingernail polish in multiple colors. A tall white bookcase held toys and Katie’s favorite books. Wooden letters spelling out her name hung over the dresser. The crowning jewel was an enormous wooden dollhouse in the shape of a castle. The bedroom was a Katie paradise.
He stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist. “Please don’t freak out.” Too late. Way too late. “Last week, when I got home from work and you and Katie were in the kitchen making dinner, I knew I wanted that. Forever. With you. Not the kitchen part, though that was nice.” He smiled against her neck as he kissed it. “But I want to come home each night and know that you’ll be here and that we’ll never have to say goodnight at the door.” He placed several more kisses on her shoulder as she stood silent.
“If she doesn’t like it, we can redecorate any way she likes. There’s an excellent private school only a mile from here, and I make enough to support us, so you can quit and go to school or whatever you want to do.”
She wanted to turn around and tell him she wanted that life especially with someone who loved her as much as he did, but the words lodged in her throat.
The room was amazing, and she loved him for doing it, but the first thought that came to her mind was the excitement on Katie’s face after Billy decorated her room in the apartment. That thought was followed by the one where she would have to tell him they were moving out. Just the idea left a sick feeling in her gut. It was the reason she said no to moving in with Preston last year.
She loved Preston. He was a good man, reliable…and safe.
He moved to stand in front of her, and with a huge smile on his face, knelt on one knee and took her hand in his. “Wonderful, lovely, fantastic, lovable Bridget, will you marry me?”
He held open a velvet box that cradled a white gold ring with a single solitaire diamond. Simple and beautiful. Something she would have loved to wear on her hand.
She held back a sob as she shook her head.
“Bridget?” He stood and cradled her face in his hands. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” She pushed past him toward the bedroom, picking up her clothes on the way.
“What are you doing?”
She pulled off his shirt and started to redress. He took her hand as she tried to zip up her skirt. “Please, talk to me. What’s going on? I’m confused.”
“I can’t do this.” She pointed back and forth.
“Of course you can, we’ve been doing this for two years.” He smiled, trying to make light of it, but when she didn’t break a smile, he grew serious. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her onto his lap. “Bridget, talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
She lifted herself off his lap and took a few steps away. When he reached for her hand, she took another step back. “I can’t move in, and I can’t marry you.”
“Then what have we been doing for the past two years?”
“Dating. Getting to know one another.” She had known in her heart it meant more to him than to her, but she loved being wanted by him. She loved being chased, and he made her feel sexy, wanted, loved. But it would never be enough for her to marry him.
“We’ve done that. Did I give you the impression that I was interested in dating forever? I told you early on that I want it all. Marriage, family—all of it.”
“I know you did, and I wanted it too,” she stated.
“You don’t anymore?” His eyebrows turned in and he shook his head as if it would help him make sense of what she was saying.
“I do.”
They stared at one another in silence as the realization hit him.
“But not with me,” he muttered under his breath.
She shook her head no.
“Because you want it with Billy.”
Yes. Desperately. But it was an unattainable dream. One that kept her from giving herself fully to Preston. He deserved so much more than what she had to offer him, and she wouldn’t shackle him with someone who couldn’t give him everything.
“It’s me. I love you, but I’m not ready to get married,” she lied. “I’m sorry.”
He followed her to the front door in silence. Before she could step outside, he reached for her and pulled her into his arms. “Please say yes.”
She kissed his cheek and pulled away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
August 2001
Billy
Billy poured coffee for the couple sitting at the counter and threw a glance at Bridget, who sat at the end, looking as beautiful as he had ever seen. She was waiting for Preston to arrive for their big anniversary date. She smiled at Katie, who sat next to her listing all the things that she planned for her sleepover with Diane.
The bell over the door rang, announcing Preston, who was dressed to the nines and carrying flowers. He gave each of the girls a kiss on the forehead and whispered something in Bridget’s ear. She gave a slight nod and went back to her conversation with Katie.
“Billy? Can I have a minute?” The man was all smiles and nervous energy. Billy felt it from the other side of the room.
“Sure.” He pushed through the swinging doors and closed the office door behind them. Before Billy sat down, Preston announced, “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
Billy fumbled with his chair, almost missing it entirely.
“Well, I want to ask her to marry me.”
Billy’s chest constricted. He should have expected this, but it was the last thing he wanted to hear.
“Since she has no contact with her father and you were her guardian, I thought it appropriate to ask your permission. Mind you, I’ll probably ask her no matter what.” Preston chuckled to himself. “But your blessing would be important to her.”
Billy cleared his throat, forcing down the need to shove Preston against the wall and pound his fist against Preston’s face. He wanted to tel
l him she was too young. The change would be hard for Katie, but most importantly, that he was in love with her, and he wouldn’t allow Preston to take his girls. But even Billy knew those were weak excuses. She might be young, but Bridget was more mature than women his age. It wouldn’t take Sweets long to adjust; she liked Preston. And as for him? It didn’t matter how much he loved her; Bridget’s happiness was more important.
There was no real reason to say no.
“Is she expecting a proposal?”
“No. It’s a surprise. I have the ring.” Preston reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a velvet box and handed it to Billy.
When Billy popped it open, he saw a ring that was perfect for her—simple, elegant. She would love it, and it reinforced how well Preston understood her. With force, Billy suppressed the desire to throw it across the room. Instead, he set the box down and slid it across the desk. “You have my blessing.” His voice sounding slightly resigned.
What else could he say? He wanted her to be happy. It was as simple as that. He would be content just to be her friend. Or, at least, he would try. Preston was a lucky man to have Bridget’s love. It gave Billy some comfort to know that Preston treasured Billy’s girls as much as Billy did.
Except they wouldn’t be his girls anymore.
“Thank you, Billy. I appreciate it.” Preston slapped him on the back and exited the room. Billy forced himself out of the chair and tried to tamp down his feelings before stepping out of the office. He leaned against the door, unable to support himself as reality hit him. They would never be the same. No more Sunday morning donuts and coffee. No more afternoons at the park with Katie. No more late-night ice cream binges after a long day. He’d only see Bridget when she was working, but then again, Preston was successful and they would be able to afford for her to quit. Billy’s chest burned as the pain swamped him.
Until Now Page 17