Until Now

by Cristin Cooper

  Katie’s eyes were wide when she turned back to him, silently begging him to intervene.

  He placed a hand on Bridget’s shoulder to get her attention. “She didn’t say she was sexually active. You didn’t listen.”

  She shoved his hand away. “Butt out, Billy.”

  He held his hands up and retreated. He didn’t know who this woman was, but it wasn’t his Bridget.

  “Mom, nothing happened. When I…uh, stopped things, he dropped me off at the bus stop.”

  Dean spoke for the first time. “I’m leaving. Good night, Ms. Larson. I’ll call you, Katie.”

  “Chicken,” Katie said under her breath.

  “You! Stop!” Bridget’s voice stopped Dean cold before he could open the door.

  “Listen to me.” Her voice was low and dangerous. Stepping closer, she pushed her finger into his chest to emphasize each word. “No boy will EVER treat my daughter that way. Do you understand me?”

  He blinked and nodded, real fear written across his face.

  “She deserves better than some asshole leaving her on the side of the road without a phone because he’s not getting fucked!”

  A chorus of gasps sounded at her language. Billy had no idea she had it in her.

  “I will never see your face again. Will I?”

  Billy watched the kid swallow the lump in his throat and shook his head. “No, ma’am.” He was positive that it was the last they’d see of him.

  “MOM! You can’t do that,” Katie cried.

  “I can do whatever I Goddamn want. You’re my daughter, and he put you in danger.”

  Dean made a break for it. The door slammed behind him, and Billy wished he had followed suit.

  Bridget rounded on Katie. “Go to bed, but this is not over.” Katie opened her mouth, but one look from her mother changed her mind and sent her flying into her room.

  Bridget glared silently at Billy until Katie’s door closed.

  “Bridget,” he said calmly, “let’s sit down and talk about this.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  He tried to come up with an excuse that would get past her rage, but his mind was blank.

  “I’m her mother. You should have been dialing my number the moment you saw her. I realize you don’t think I can handle anything on my own, but I can. I don’t need you!”

  He tried to tell himself it was her anger talking, but it felt like a slap in the face.

  “I know you can.” He took a step toward her, wanting to get closer and touch her. He hadn’t realized he made her feel that way.

  “Then why did you hide this?”

  “I didn’t hide it. You’re blowing this way out of proportion.”

  “Do you remember how we met? I don’t want that for her, and for you to keep this from me…”

  “I didn’t keep anything from you. I found her on the side of the road.” No matter what he said, she wasn’t going to listen.

  “She should have called me.”

  “She didn’t have her cell.”

  “And she couldn’t use a pay phone? Borrow a phone? Don’t make excuses for her.” Her voice rose exponentially with every word.

  “Are you mad at me or her?”

  “Both of you!”

  “You should see yourself. No wonder she didn’t want to come home!” The moment the words left his mouth, he knew it was a mistake, and the look on her face said she was going to make him pay for it. “Bridget, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  “Bullshit! You come in here ‘saving the day’, the way you always do and expect me to grovel with gratitude. You are not her dad.”

  That was it. He was done trying to make her see reason. She was intentionally trying to hurt him.

  “That was your choice, Bridget!”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  “If you had married me when I asked, I would be her dad.”

  “Believe it or not, Billy Hall, it is not every girl’s dream to be proposed to out of pity. That wasn’t an offer for me. That was for you. You have always been more than happy to play the martyred hero.”

  “You know what?” He sucked air through his clenched teeth. “Never mind. I’m leaving! You are completely insane right now.” He opened the door and took a step out.

  “That’s right, ride in on your white horse and make me out to be the villain. Just once it would be nice if a man took responsibility for his own fuckups.”

  “I’m not doing anything to make you the bad guy, Bridget. You’re doing that all on your own, and as for taking responsibility, go take a long look in the mirror.”

  The walls shook as he slammed the door. The sound of the lock turning and a kick on the door echoed into the night.

  The hope he held a few short hours ago that there could be something more with Bridget died as he jogged down the stairs, his temper rising with each step.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  August 8:00 PM

  Bridget

  Nervous energy and, she’d swear, sexual tension hung between them during the ride to his house. Or it could just be her.

  She had to catch herself multiple times from jumping into his arms and kissing him. If it weren’t for his mixed signals, she would’ve attacked him on her couch after opening her present.

  One moment, he appeared to want more, and then the next, he’d pull away. The confusion mixed with her desire was messing with her emotions.

  She had to remind herself that he could just be trying to be nice. If that was the case, he was doing an excellent job. He was the sweetest man she had ever met.

  While waiting for him to come around to open her door, she checked her lipstick. It wasn’t something she usually concerned herself with, but tonight was different. She wanted to look her best.

  He offered his hand to help her out and walked behind her, placing a hand on her lower back, guiding her through the kitchen door.

  “Wow, dinner smells wonderful. Did you make a roast?” It thrilled her that he made the effort of making her favorite dinner. She expected they’d go to a restaurant, where they’d be surrounded by people. It concerned her as she thought about how awkward it would be to open up to him in front of others.

  “Yes, with potatoes and carrots and rolls.” He smiled as his hand slid down her back, but then he pulled away.

  Again.

  She held back a frustrated moan. Her stomach was still in knots, and she prayed that she’d be able to eat and relax this evening.

  “Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to finish up here. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

  She stepped into the dining room and took a closer look at the table setting. “Is that…?” It was. He used his mom’s china. Tears sprung from her eyes. Last Thanksgiving, Katie asked why he never used the dishes in the cabinet. He confessed that he was saving them for the right time.

  Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

  Choking back the tears, she moved into the living room. His home was warm and inviting, and this was by far her favorite room.

  The first time he brought her here, she was pregnant, and it was still very much his parents’ house. He’d just lived here, but through the years, it became his. It was a mix of masculine with the leather, wood, and the brick fireplace that took up half a wall. The gold-ish yellow paint along with big pillows and throws gave it just enough softness to make it comfortable.

  A hand reached in front of her, startling her once again. She hated being on edge. Just the slightest movements caused her to jump. She took the wineglass filled with ice water and looked at him curiously. “Water?” She lifted a questioning brow.

  “I want you completely and utterly sober tonight. Remember?” Her stomach twisted just a little more. Eating was going to be impossible.

  Her eyes followed him as he walked back to the kitchen. She couldn’t help but admire his long, muscular build. Everything about him was physically enticing, from his tattoos to his grayish blue eyes that were more gray than blue t
onight.

  Just as she was getting comfortable on his couch, he entered the room, holding his own glass of water. “You hungry?”

  “Yes.” But not for food.

  She followed him into the dining room, where he pulled out a chair for her. She couldn’t see him behind her, but she felt the slight tremor from his hands. It was a small comfort to her that he was as nervous as her.

  Dinner probably tasted delicious, but the only thing she tasted was her rising anxiety. They made small talk, but it was forced. By the time they finished, it was obvious that neither of them knew what to say.

  It was awkward. Maybe it was a sign that changing their relationship was a bad idea. They had a good friendship, in fact, it was great. He was her best friend, and maybe that’s how it should stay.

  Before her mind could end their relationship before it started, her phone rang.

  “Katie!” She sprung from her seat and rushed to her purse, pulling out her phone. Billy chuckled under his breath as he followed her into the kitchen with their dirty plates. She didn’t bother giving him a scowl for making fun of her, especially knowing he would’ve had the same reaction.

  A wave of relief washed over her. Her baby girl was calling, and she was getting a reprieve from the tension between her and Billy. “Hey, sweetie! You made it?”

  “Yup. Did Billy tell you I called?”

  She looked over her shoulder at him, and he sheepishly looked away. “No. He. Didn’t.” enunciating every word loud enough for him to hear. She tried to sound upset, but her smile gave her away. “He must have forgotten.”

  He mouthed, “Sorry,” as he placed dirty dishes in the sink. Putting the phone between her head and shoulder, she started rinsing them off as her daughter chatted away about her flight and who she sat next to.

  The natural comfort she had with Billy returned as they worked together as they’d always done. She did the dishes while he put the food away and wiped down the counters and table.

  “So you met your new roommate?”

  “Yeah. She’s even cooler than I thought. Oh my gosh! You would not believe how gorgeous she is. She’s the complete opposite of me; tall and blonde. When I first saw her, I was totally intimidated, until she hugged me. We talk as if we’ve been friends for years.

  “I’m so glad I decided to live off campus and braved looking at roommate ads. I think it’s going to work out great.”

  “So did your boxes show up today?”

  “Yup. She and her brother put them in my room before I got here.” The way Katie’s voice hitched at the word brother made Bridget’s ‘Mom Senses’ go on high alert.

  “Brother?”

  Katie nervously laughed.

  Oh no.

  Bridget’s already queasy stomach started to roll. She gripped the sink and took a deep breath. With Katie’s looks and personality, boys were never far behind, but she no longer had Billy close by to intimidate them.

  Billy’s hand slid around her waist, and he leaned into her. “Everything okay?” Looking into his concerned eyes, she nodded and lifted her hand to his cheek and used her thumb to ease the lines between his brows. He leaned against the kitchen counter and pulled her into his arms. She leaned into his chest as she kept talking to her daughter.

  “Yeah. He’s really sweet and funny. But you don’t have to worry. He doesn’t live here. He’s just visiting his family for a few weeks so…you know…”

  She didn’t want to think about the boys that Katie might meet. In the back of her mind, Bridget knew she taught her well, but she still worried that Katie would make the same mistakes she did. “Well, I’m glad you like your roommate; that’s a relief.”

  “Oh! Tell Billy thank you for the present! Eric is going to take me to pick it up tomorrow.” Bridget pictured her bouncing with the phone in her hand.

  “Wait. Who’s Eric, and pick what up?” Billy loosened his grip around her waist and turned his head away from her penetrating gaze.

  He bought Katie something?

  “He didn’t tell you? UGH! Of course, he didn’t. You will not believe it; he bought me a car and paid my rent for the year!” In shock, Bridget lost her grip on the phone. It landed on the ground, thankfully in one piece. She pushed away from him to pick it up, but he got to it first. She held onto his hand when he tried to give it to her.

  “You bought her a car?”

  He nodded. Running his fingers through his hair, he opened his mouth to explain when she held up a hand to keep him from talking. She placed the phone next to her ear and cheerfully said, “That’s wonderful and very generous of him.”

  “I’m sorry to do this, but we’re headed out to go meet up with their friends. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Be safe.”

  “Yup.”

  She placed her phone on the granite countertop then turned to face him. “A car.”

  “Yes. She’s going to need one, so I found a dealership near her and bought her a four-door sedan that is safe, reliable and isn’t too expensive. I swear. I know how much you hate me spending money on you girls, but I prefer her not to have to use public transportation. It’s safer.” He would’ve kept talking if she hadn’t interrupted him.

  “You bought her a car.” This time the words came out strained.

  He nodded again and gripped the counter as if he was waiting for her to go off on him. Instead, she stepped toward him, sliding her arms around his waist. He had hesitated for a moment before he pulled her closer. She mumbled, “Thank you,” into his chest.

  He released a sigh of relief. “Anything for my girls.”

  His girls. He got that right. They’d always been his girls.

  “Come with me.” He took her hand and pulled her to the living room. While she sat on one corner of the couch, he turned on his iPod then sat close, but not close enough. He reached for her feet and pulled them onto his lap. She stiffened at his touch until he pulled her shoes off and began rubbing her feet.

  His hands were magic, pressing in the right spots to relieve the tension she held all day. When his hand moved up to massage her calf, a moan escaped her lips. Surprised by her reaction, she covered her mouth with her hands. Their eyes connected with heat and need.

  It wasn’t just her.

  If he had looked at her in that way years ago, she wouldn’t have waited eighteen years to beg him to love her. She leaned her head back and tried to enjoy the moment, but she couldn’t put it off any longer. There was no delaying the inevitable.

  He looked lost in thought as she touched his arm to get his attention. “Billy.”

  “Hmmm?” He looked at her while his hand stilled on her calf.

  “Do you want to start or me?” she asked.

  He let go of her feet, and she pulled them under her, trying to get comfortable while simultaneously bracing herself for the worst-case scenario.

  “I will,” he said.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  February 2013

  Bridget

  Waving the phone in the air, Diane shouted, “Hey, sweetie. It’s for you.”

  “I’ll trade you.” Handing over the tray of dirty dishes, she passed the phone to her.

  “Hello, this is Bridget.”

  “Hello, Ms. Larson. This is Barry Lloyd. I’m Robert Larson’s attorney.”

  Sucking in a deep breath, she leaned against the wall. She hadn’t heard her father’s name for over seventeen years. It hit her as hard as a physical punch to the stomach.

  “Mom? You okay?” She turned to the sound of Katie’s voice. With a fake smile and forced cheerfulness, she nodded before moving blindly out the back door of the diner. She wouldn’t be able to hold the smile for long and didn’t want anyone to worry.

  There were two things she didn’t talk about with Katie. The first was Phillip and the second, her father; the two people who hurt her more than anyone should be able to.

  “Ms. Larson, you still there?”

  She cleared her throat, but her
voice was still barely above a whisper. “Yes.”

  “The reason I’m calling is that your fa— Rob is in the hospital.”

  “Okay…” She still wasn’t sure why he would be calling her. Her mind raced with a million possibilities, but none prepared her for what he said next.

  “He’s dying, Ms. Larson.” Stumbling back, she hit the wall with force, knocking the air out of her. She slid down, leaning her head back.

  “He’s dying?”

  Wasn’t she supposed to be sad or something? An intense numbness settled in her belly. He’s dying. They were words pieced together, but her mind refused to process it.

  “I’m still not sure why you’re calling me.” Her voice sounded small, even to her.

  “I’m not only his attorney but his longtime friend. I think it might be good to see him before—”

  “If you’re friends then you know why I wouldn’t want to.” She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat.

  He kicked me out.

  He never loved me.

  He didn’t want me.

  He didn’t want Katie.

  “Yes, I do. But I would also like to talk to you about his Will. Could you meet me at the hospital?”

  “What about his Will?”

  “You and Katherine are the beneficiaries and some decisions will have to be made.” Why? Why would he…? She didn’t understand a word this man was saying.

  “You must be mistaken.”

  “I have it right here in my hands. Please, could you meet me at the hospital?”

  “I…uh…okay. When?”

  “As soon as possible. The doctors don’t think he’ll make it through the night.”

  “I can be there in an hour. I’ll call you when I arrive.”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  The back door swung open, startling her. She attempted to stand up, but her legs were still shaking beneath her.

  “Whoa.” Billy gripped her arms to steady her. “Bridget?” She stared at him, but she wasn’t really seeing him. She could only see her dad’s face.