Neither Black Nor White (Iron Dogz MC, #6)

by René Van Dalen

  “Right. Now let’s move on to Jane. I now know why Flash hated me and loved her. She was his while I wasn’t. It still doesn’t explain why you didn’t protect me from Flash. I’m your son and you allowed him to hurt me. Why?”

  If he hadn’t been watching her closely he would have missed it. The anger that flashed over her face and quickly disappeared to be replaced by her crocodile tears.

  “You were a difficult child from the moment you were born. Always looking for attention and it got to the point where you started pushing Jane around and hurting her. We couldn’t allow it. You had to learn it was wrong.”

  The bitch was lying through her artificially whitened teeth.

  “Bullshit. I never hurt Jane, not ever. She was the one who hit me with a toy truck and gave me this scar below my right eye. Remember, I almost lost my eye because of it. You never lifted a hand to protect me, Esther, admit it.”

  And finally the façade she had maintained up to now cracked.

  “He left me because his mother hated me! He left me pregnant with you and I had to marry his half-brother, a man I didn’t like very much to give you a name. You don’t know what it was like back then. I would have been ostracised for having a baby out of wedlock. And I didn’t have any money to raise you on my own even if I had wanted to. You ruined everything!” She burst out angrily, the tears and sniffles miraculously gone.

  “And there we have it. The real Esther Warne, the one you hide behind the fake smiles, fake tears and fake persona. You’re like Jane, aren’t you? I wouldn’t be surprised if you had tried to trap War Knight into claiming you as his old lady and it backfired. Even though he was still a prospect he was a legacy in the Sinners Sons, it meant he was destined for the top, while Flash was a lowly patch in the Iron Dogz. Not much of a catch, now was he?” Kid tipped his head to the side and stared at his mother until her bravado melted and she shuddered and looked away.

  “You...you don’t know that! You look so much like your father when you look at me like that. Don’t! Don’t look at me!”

  The old bitch was distraught and scared. And so she should be. She had just given Kid and Boots very important information. Information they had to share with Dagger, the president of the Sinners Sons MC, as soon as possible.

  “I now understand why you helped Jane in her campaign against the club. You identified with her anger towards Hawk and the club. How very motherly of you. I bet Jane never knew what you were really after did she? She thought her mummy was helping her to get revenge for being passed over by Hawk. When in actual fact you were using her for your own warped agenda.” Kid raised his eyebrows at the visibly shaking woman. “Am I right?”

  She looked at him in confusion. “Are you crazy? Why would I encourage her to pursue the man who used her like a lowly club whore? I tried to talk her out of all her crazy schemes for years. She’s been fixated on that asshole all her life! I have no idea what’s going on in that girl’s head right now and I’m worried about her. That’s why I asked you to look for her. She’s your sister, Nathan.”

  Kid laughed at her sudden and obviously calculated use of his legal name.

  “Half-sister, she’s my half-sister. Damn, it feels good to be able to distance myself from her and Fred Warne’s crazy shit.”

  His mother sighed heavily. “Fine. She’s your half-sister but still your blood. I’m scared for her. She got involved with some very scary people and did some stupid, stupid things for them. Why she did it I can’t say, but what I do know is that she has lost her way. I need her home, to help her back to who she used to be. My little girl.”

  “Fuck.” Boots swore behind him and Kid glanced up and over his shoulder.

  His brother was shaking his head, his eyes on Esther. He didn’t blame the guy. His mother’s reasoning was absolutely fucked up. It made him doubt her sanity.

  Looking back at her he had to hold on to his temper as he continued.

  “Are you fucking serious right now? Jane and Emma killed Sparrow Martins and seriously injured Jinx Knight. We suspect she was responsible for Bounty’s death as well. But it wasn’t enough for her and she tried to kill DC, Hawk’s old lady. And what about how she helped Emma to get to River, and how the two of them hid the kid she had with Flash? She’s in deep with all the bad shit that’s been happening to the Iron Dogz. Are you aware she’s part of a crime Syndicate that abducts children and young women to sell into sex slavery?”

  The colour leached out of Esther Warne’s face as she stared at him with a partially open mouth. Shock and horror written clearly over her ghostly face. The tears started in earnest then. She folded in on herself and sobbed as if her heart was breaking.

  “Seems like she didn’t know about all of it.” Boots muttered dispassionately.

  “Ja, yet another victim of Jane’s manipulations and lies.”

  Boots moved away from the back of the couch to stand by the side of it looking down at the sobbing old woman.

  “We need to get one of the old ladies in here to take care of her, brother. She needs a woman to help her through the next few hours I think. No one wants to hear that their precious daughter is a cold hearted psycho. Even if she’s an evil bitch herself.”

  Keeping his eyes on the sobbing woman he gave Boots instructions. “Call Bulldog to arrange her transport back to the club. She won’t be safe here on her own now that Jane’s out of circulation.”

  He didn’t wait to see if Boots did as he was told. He got up and walked out of the lounge to the bedroom he had given her. Her shit was scattered all over the place and he stood in the doorway for a second before he walked into the room.

  He knew in his gut he would find more answers somewhere in there.

  Answers he needed before he approached his new family.

  Fuck. He had family. Jinx had to be his cousin or something. He needed to know and the sooner the better.

  Plus he wanted to know everything about his father. Good or bad, he needed to know.

  Pulling his phone from his pocket he swiped his thumb across it and called Ziggy.

  “You’ve got Ziggy.”

  “Zig, brother, I just found out some fucked up shit and need you to look into it for me, please.”

  His brother didn’t hesitate.

  “Give me the gist of what I’ll be looking for then text me the details.”

  Kid drew in a deep breath. “I need you to have two of the DNA tests we had done checked for a familial match. Mine and Flash’s. I was just told he’s my uncle, not my father. And I need everything you can find on Camden “War” Knight. He rode with the Sinners Sons and apparently died in a shoot-out before I was born.”

  Ziggy was silent for a while only the clicking of his keyboard coming over the line before he spoke again.

  “I’m sending one of the prospects with both DNA samples to our guy. He’ll compare the two and get back to me as soon as he can. I’ll have to give Hawk a heads up about this, brother. Is that okay?”

  “Ja, sure. As soon as we’ve got shit wrapped up here I’ll be back to talk to him myself. See what you can find for me, Zig. We’re waiting for Bulldog to send a cage for Esther to bring her back to the club where she’ll be safe and under our eyes.”

  “Fuck, brother.” Zig whispered before clearing his throat. “Send me those details. I’ll have more for you when you get back. And brother, keep your head up, don’t allow that fucked up family and some old history to change who you are.”

  Before Kid could say anything he ended the call.

  Taking a few minutes he put everything Esther had told him in a text and sent it to Zig. Sliding his phone back into his pocket he started to search. His gut kept telling him there was shit here to find and he would find it.

  He needed to find it.

  He needed to find it because out there he had a family he never knew about. And he wanted to know about them. Desperately.

  The noise of new arrivals drew him back into the living area of the flat.

  CHAPTE
R TWO

  Kid

  It wasn’t just a couple of brothers who had arrived with the cage. A pissed off Bulldog stormed into the flat. One look and he knew Boots had told their Chaplain everything that had gone down. And then Suzy and Beryl pushed past him and swamped him. The women wrapped their arms around him and hugged him tight until Bulldog dragged him out of their arms and into his.

  “Remember one thing son, you’re our boy, always were, always will be.” He said softly against the side of his head.

  Kid nodded because he couldn’t get a word past the muscles in his tight as hell throat. Bulldog patted his back before he stepped back and walked deeper into the flat to where Esther sat in the chair, still crying and sniffing.

  Suzy stood in front of her with her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she hissed at her angrily. “Why the hell didn’t you tell us about this shit, Essie? We could have helped more than we did. You and Flash treated the boy like he was rubbish while you lavished all your attention on Jane. And now look. She’s the one dragging all of us into her evil schemes.”

  Esther’s back straightened as she faced Suzy. “I made some mistakes, some huge unforgivable mistakes. I have no defence for what I did to my son except to say I’m so very sorry. I wish things could be different but they aren’t. And Jane...Jane being involved in the things she’s involved in...I don’t understand it. I just don’t. We gave her everything she wanted. We loved her. Why is she doing these horrible things? Someone had to have led her astray to do these things. I don’t understand anything anymore.”

  She once again crumpled into a little ball in the chair and Kid had to turn away because he couldn’t stand to be near her right now.

  “What did I tell you in the car. She shut her eyes to all Jane’s faults and blamed Kid and everyone else for her precious little girl’s evil ass.” Beryl stood in front of the chair with no sympathy on her face at all. “Jane and her father are two peas in a pod, bad all the way through, Esther, and it’s time you accepted that fact.”

  Bulldog glared at Esther then grunted as if coming to a decision and what he laid out shocked everyone in the room. It was shit that had never been discussed at the table. Shit that had been buried in the past.

  “You might think you have everyone fooled, Essie, but you forget there are still enough of us around who remember when you first came to the club. We remember exactly who you used to be.”

  Esther visibly cringed as Bulldog stared coldly down at her.

  “You threw yourself at all the officers and no one would bite. Flash was the only brother stupid enough to fall for your shit. Imagine his rage and humiliation when he realised he had claimed another man’s son. That’s when he stepped fully onto the dark path. You, and your betrayal had helped to push him over the edge.” Bulldog tipped his head to the side and just stared at her when she drew in a shocked breath.

  She wasn’t the only one who was shocked. Every single one of them were.

  “Yes, Essie, we all suspected that Kid wasn’t Flash’s kid. As he got older he looked nothing like his father, his mother or his shitty grandparents. Bounty told us to keep our mouths shut to save a brother’s pride. Years later when I noticed how crazy Flash had become I should have taken my boy away from the two of you.”

  Rage boiled in Bulldog’s eyes and filled the room like a physical fog. “Had we realised what you people were doing to that child we would have stepped in sooner. That’s my biggest regret, that I didn’t take my boy away from you and your old man.”

  Esther jerked back in her seat as if he had slapped her.

  “He isn’t yours.” She whispered but her voice became stronger as she continued. “He’s my son and I would never have given him to you or anyone else. Flash and I failed him, horribly, I admit it, but it changes nothing. He is my son and will always be mine.”

  Kid couldn’t stop the derisive laugh that escaped him.

  “You and Flash definitely failed me. Do you realise the only reason you came back into my life in any sort of capacity was because of shit Flash and Jane were involved in? What does that tell me, Esther?” She stared at him not saying a word. “It tells me that if not for them pissing us, and a few other people, off you would have stayed in that house acting like you didn’t have a son. So please, stop with the bullshit that I’m your son and will always be your son. That’s utter fucking bullshit!”

  He was losing his mind and had to get out of there. Pointing at the two prospects who had come in with Bulldog he beckoned them over and they followed as he walked to her bedroom.

  “Get boxes then pack every little thing in here. Search every fucking inch of this room and make sure you leave nothing behind. Anything interesting you find put in a separate box. You got me?”

  “Yes, Boss.”

  “Yes, Boss.”

  The prospects left and Kid stood looking around the room. He hadn’t been in it until today and frowned when he saw the group of photographs on the small desk in the corner. There were a couple of him and Jane as toddlers but the majority was of Jane. That’s when he saw it, hidden right at the back, a photo of him, Hawk and Ice after they were patched in. Even then his best friend was a big mother, while he looked lanky and gaunt in comparison. The reason he was so gaunt was that back then Flash had made sure the club whores didn’t feed him. It kept him weak and under his control. Thank fuck that changed the minute Bounty became aware of the situation and stepped in. But it only happened right before his patching in party so he was still fucking thin when the photo was taken.

  Putting the photo down Kid moved away from the desk and sat down on the side of the bed. Dropping his head he rubbed his hands over his face and then just sat there. For some reason he couldn’t move from that damned spot.

  His life had been turned upside down once again.

  The first time it happened he had been too young to realise that everything he thought he knew had been destroyed. His loving parents became strangers overnight and fear and pain ruled his life until he was much, much older.

  Today it had happened again. Only now he was a grown man and no longer subject to the vagaries of two people who were supposed to love and protect him but had not.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket and he drew it out. His Prez was calling.

  “Prez.”

  “Kid, brother, get back to the clubhouse. We have some shit to talk about and it’s best we do it here where there’s no chance of us being overheard.”

  “Got you, Hawk. I’m organising some shit here then I’ll be on my way.”

  “Good, I’ll be waiting.”

  Sliding his phone back into his pocket he slowly stood and walked out the room. While he had been gone Beryl had made fresh tea and the women were sitting softly talking to Esther. Bulldog stood with a hip leant against the worktop in the kitchen typing on his phone but he looked up when Kid walked in.

  “Hawk called me in. Can you sort this shit for me please, brother?” He had hardly finished when Bulldog drew him into a man hug and gave him two sharp slaps on his back then pushed him away.

  “Those slaps are for you thinking you needed to ask. Go, I’ve got your back.”

  With Boots and Spook following him he left without saying a word to the woman who was his mother. He couldn’t.

  It was going to take some time before he would be able to look at her again, never mind talking to her.

  At the clubhouse he parked his bike and went straight to Hawk’s office. All the officers were there waiting on him. Except of course Bulldog, who was handling shit for him back at his flat.

  Hawk pointed to the chair at the side of his desk and Kid sank down into it. They were roughly ranged in a half circle facing the monitor on the wall.

  “Right. Let’s get to it.” Hawk tapped his fingers on his desk, a habit he had when he didn’t have the damned gavel in his hand. “Ziggy, what do you have for our brother?”

  Ziggy cleared his throat. “I’ve got good news. The fucker definitely wasn’t your
father. According to my contact there are familial markers but not enough for him to be your father. I didn’t have DNA for Esther so I couldn’t have those checked out but if you want we can get it done.”

  Kid couldn’t help it, he burst out in relieved laughter. His brothers looked at him like he had lost his shit. The laughter didn’t last long at all. “Sorry, I’m just fucking relieved I don’t have his diseased blood running through my veins.”

  Spider didn’t even hesitate a second. “Nope, just the blood of a Sinner, if we can believe that shit.”

  “Jesus, Spider.” Ice growled at his little brother but Kid just grinned.

  “He’s right. According to Esther my father rode with the Sinners and was killed in a shoot-out.”

  Hawk tapped his fingers on the desk and Kid’s eyes swivelled to his president. He wasn’t smiling. If Kid could believe his eyes his prez looked freaked the fuck out.

  “What?”

  Ziggy was the one who answered.

  “You asked me to dig into someone called Camden “War” Knight. The information you gave me has him dying in a shoot-out before you were born, right?”

  “Ja, that’s what Esther was told by Flash.”

  Hawk sighed and shook his head and Ziggy just looked uncomfortable.

  “You want to take this, prez?” Ziggy looked at their president and Hawk nodded.

  Rubbing a hand over the braid at the back of his head Hawk sat forward and those yellow eyes of his pinned Kid in his seat.

  “Flash fucking lied to her. War Knight wasn’t killed in a shoot-out. He, in fact, was transferred to their Cape Town chapter. He was seventeen at the time and was patched in shortly after he turned eighteen.” Hawk drew in a breath and let it out before he continued. “If War is your father, he’s alive and well and the president of the Cape Town chapter of the Sinners Sons.”

  Staring at his president Kid felt as if he had gone numb. It felt as if the world had stopped turning for a few seconds and it left him dizzy. His hands were clamped so tight around the arms of his chair it felt as if his fingers were digging into the wood. But Hawk wasn’t finished.