Pursuing Happiness

by Jessie Pinkham

  “Any particular reason she picked Tuesday?” Collin’s work schedule was packed with meetings that day.

  “My birthday. It’s not a big deal if -”

  He cut that off with a kiss. “Tuesday sounds great. Twenty-four, right?”

  Matt nodded. “It will just be the three of us. I don’t like big parties. Actually I don’t like parties of any size much.”

  “I’ll be there. Just tell me when and where.” As he spoke it occurred to Collin that he only had a few days to find a birthday gift for his new boyfriend. It was a good thing he thrived on challenges.

  Chapter Nine

  Matt got just the kind of birthday he liked: low-key fun with good food and people who cared about him. It was a nice bonus and no small relief that Sarah and Collin got along well. Dinner was enjoyed by all, even if he and Sarah had to quash Collin’s suggestion that they inform the waiter it was Matt’s birthday so he’d get free dessert. No dessert in the world was worth having everyone in the restaurant looking at him.

  When they got back to their building Collin said, “Your present is in my place.”

  “Come over to mine? I need to feed Dex.”

  “Sure.”

  He grabbed the crickets and greens before heading over to Dex’s habitat. “Dinner time, buddy. Hey, you’re the star of Sarah’s present.”

  She’d given him a frame that held six pictures filled with photos of his bearded dragon. Matt knew his apartment walls were bare and uninviting, he just never cared enough to do anything about it. The collage Sarah put together would look great. She had an eye for this sort of thing, down to the carefully selected pictures.

  Dex’s interest in interior décor was nonexistent, as was the case for anything that couldn’t be eaten or climbed. He was enthusiastic about the crickets, which he chased down with gusto.

  Matt heard a knock on his door and called, “Come in.”

  Collin entered carrying a package wrapped in shiny silver paper. “I hope you like it,” he said, uncharacteristically nervous.

  “Let me just put the crickets away. And I’m sure I’ll like it.”

  Once there was no threat of crickets on the loose Matt sat next to his boyfriend on the couch. “You’re a good gift-wrapper.”

  “It turns out all those Christmases Mom made me help her wrap presents were good for something. You can just rip into it.”

  Matt never ripped into presents, though he supposed he could now. It was considered rude and greedy in his family once you were older than five. Deciding he might as well try it at least once, he tore the paper with a few quick pulls. There was something delightfully wild about unwrapping like this.

  Collin hadn’t needed to worry because his gift was awesome. “The Only Encyclopedia of Fantasy You’ll Ever Need,” Matt read aloud, before picking the book up and realizing it had a mate. “And The Only Encyclopedia of Science Fiction You’ll Ever Need. These are terrific. Oh, they even have pictures.” He flipped through, already enjoying the gifts. “Thanks, Collin. They’re great.”

  “I’m glad you like them.”

  “I really do.”

  Matt decided to show his appreciation with a kiss. Like most of their kisses, tongues got involved sooner rather than later. Unusually for Matt, this involved no deliberate decision. It just happened, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and of course they weren’t going to keep their hands off each other.

  He loved it, pressing himself against Collin’s broad chest, feeling Collin’s fingers in his hair. Collin had a thing for running his fingers through Matt’s hair, something Matt discovered he quite enjoyed as well even if he’d never considered it as a potential turn-on before.

  He shimmied so he was practically on Collin’s lap. This got him in contact with Collin’s hard-on, but not nearly up close and personal enough for his liking, because he was tired of wondering what his boyfriend looked like naked. He moaned into the kiss a little as Collin nipped at his bottom lip. “Collin?”

  “Mmm?”

  “Do you, maybe, want to take this to the bed?” Matt had never done the propositioning before but he figured he’d managed alright.

  Collin’s eyes lit up. “Absolutely. I’d love to give you a birthday blowjob.”

  Matt’s breath hitched at the suggestion at the same time his already interested cock twitched in anticipation.

  “You like that idea, huh?” asked Collin.

  “Very much.”

  The upside to a small studio apartment, they learned, was how quickly two people could move from the couch to the bed. Once they sat on the bed, Collin toyed with the hem of Matt’s shirt. “May I?”

  Matt nodded and lifted his arms so Collin could ease the shirt over his head. Then he unbuttoned Collin’s because he didn’t want to be the only one shirtless.

  “You’re hot,” he blurted out. Collin had the kind of sculpted torso most guys would kill for, not overdone like a bodybuilder but a perfect balance of lean muscle. Matt wished he was that built. He’d tried in the past and learned with his body type it just didn’t happen.

  Collin evidently liked his guys on the skinnier side, which worked out well. “So are you,” he said, hands roaming over Matt’s sides. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

  Matt leaned in for more kisses and to put his hands on Collin’s bare back. It was an awkward position so he moved to straddle Collin’s lap. That was much better, not least because it allowed them to press their chests together. Collin’s hands were everywhere and Matt loved it. He took similar liberties, petting whatever parts of his guy he could reach.

  He hadn’t even had a single drink with dinner, but was still almost giddy with intoxication. And lust. A considerable dose of lust, definitely. Collin was so gorgeous. He was also a fun and considerate boyfriend who really seemed to appreciate Matt, but at the moment, Matt’s mind was firmly rooted in the physical, like the way Collin lightly traced his spine. Oh, look, yet another newly discovered turn-on.

  His pants had grown uncomfortably tight, so he moved. “I don’t know about you, but I think we’re overdressed.”

  “Great minds think alike.”

  Collin was faster at taking off his pants and underwear. Matt paused his own disrobing to admire his boyfriend’s cock in all its glory, because while the girth was average the length was definitely above average. At least, based on his extremely limited experience seeing erections other than his own.

  “Wow,” he said. Collin was… well, Matt’s brain shorted out, so he couldn’t come up with anything more articulate than wow and I want to put that in my mouth.

  “Not that I’m unhappy you like what you see, but I’m not getting to see anything,” remarked Collin.

  “Oh! Right.” Matt finished removing his own clothes, socks last. When they were both completely naked he said, “There. Better?”

  “Much better. You’re even hotter naked.”

  He was glad Collin thought so. With his boyfriend giving him such a lustful gaze, it was easy to feel sexy. Anyway, at least his penis wasn’t as skinny as the rest of him.

  “Ready for your birthday blowjob?” asked Collin.

  “Yes.” As if he was going to decline!

  “Lay back and enjoy.”

  Collin dragged the tip of his tongue from Matt’s stomach on down at a teasingly cautious pace. Just when Matt thought he’d get that lovely tongue where he really wanted it (and certain parts of his anatomy were growing very demanding on this point), Collin detoured to meander across the spot where thigh met pelvis. It straddled the line between ticklish and enjoyable. Matt shivered.

  Good thing he was in the habit of keeping his downstairs tidy. While serious manscaping wasn’t his thing, Matt kept up on his intimate grooming lest he suffer from constant tickling. He was very sensitive that way.

  Now that sensitivity was damn good. Collin kissed his balls, lifting them to make sure his lips hit everywhere. Twice. Once satisfied he’d covered that ground thoroughly, he moved on to li
ttle flicks of his tongue, an entirely new sensation which Matt really liked.

  He also loved the way Collin looked up, all smoldering sex and happiness, smiling with his eyes while he explored Matt’s balls.

  Limited though his past encounters may have been, Matt had given and received blowjobs before. This was different, though. Those encounters had been purely sexual, whereas this one was with his boyfriend, a man who cared about him beyond getting off. Certainly none of his previous sexual partners had looked at him with so much fondness as part and parcel of desire. There was nothing wrong with two men taking pleasure in each other’s bodies, but it paled in comparison to being cherished like this.

  Collin moved up to his cock and proceeded to repeat the kissing and licking. Then the licking turned to sucking just the tip into his mouth.

  Best birthday present ever.

  “Mmm,” sighed Matt, the sound escaping unplanned.

  “I was planning to drag this out,” said Collin, “but you seem like you’re past that point.”

  “Yeah,” he admitted, embarrassed.

  Evidently there was no need to be ashamed because Collin declared, “That’s hot,” and enveloped Matt’s entire cock with his mouth.

  “Ohh!” This was a new one for Matt as well. He’d heard of guys deep throating but had never experienced it. It felt amazing, far too good to last at the pace Collin set. Everything melted away but the warmth of Collin’s mouth around his cock and the ridiculously hot visual of his boyfriend sucking him off.

  His balls tightened with impending orgasm and he managed to croak out, “So close.” It was the polite thing to do, he figured. Happily it didn’t result in Collin stopping. Quite the opposite, it spurred an increase in speed.

  Matt had never come so hard in his life. His entire body came alive with pleasure, previously dormant nerves surging to join the fun. Collin worked his cock through the orgasm, swallowing everything and apparently having the time of his life.

  It was at least a full minute before Matt could speak, and even then he couldn’t say more than, “Woah.”

  Collin grinned. “I take pride in a job well done.”

  “Very, very well done.” The orgasm seemed to have robbed Matt of his language skills, because he was sure there were better words he ought to be using. None of them came to mind. “Hard act to follow.”

  “It’s not a competition. Besides, I’m not gonna last more than thirty seconds anyway.”

  Matt liked the idea of turning Collin on so much, but he still felt that he was getting the better deal here. “I take pride in my work, too. I’m going to need a lot more practice.”

  “You wanna practice giving blowjobs? I’m more than happy to help,” said Collin. He added a sultry wink. “Not exactly a lot to ask of a guy, you know.”

  Matt would get started just as soon as he could move. Happy birthday indeed.

  His parents had clearly been wrong about sex. There was nothing wrong with having it with another man, and sex outside of marriage, without the possibility of babies, didn’t turn people into reckless sex maniacs. It could be enjoyable, intimate fun, and Matt hoped sharing that with Collin would be happening on a regular basis from here on.

  Matt expected that Lou would be annoyed that week if for no other reason than the book they were gathering to discuss. It was Elspeth’s choice and Lou wasn’t a fan of her current Merlin and druids of Camelot kick.

  Surprisingly Lou was all smiles. “Someone’s in a good mood,” noted Matt.

  “I met the woman I’m going to marry.”

  “A woman with whom he hasn’t yet had a conversation,” added Alicia.

  Ignoring his cousin, Lou went on, “Her name is Becky and she’s the dessert artist at my new favorite bakery.”

  Matt was torn between wondering what was so special about Becky and what on Earth a dessert artist did. He went with the former. “So why is she your future wife?”

  “I just know. She’s got the most beautiful laugh, she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, and she’s a Star Trek fan who isn’t afraid to quote Deep Space Nine in public. I heard her talking with a friend.”

  The last part sounded like a girl Lou would get along with, certainly. “I hadn’t imagined you as a love at first sight kind of guy,” said Matt, who didn’t consider himself one either.

  “I wasn’t until Becky.”

  “So are you going to ask her out?”

  “If only,” sighed Alicia.

  Lou said, “I’m going to be a regular at the bakery for a month or two first.”

  “A month or two? Don’t you think that’s excessive?”

  “It is.” Alicia gave her cousin a pointed look.

  “Uh, no offense, Lou, but if even I think a plan involving your social life needs work, it really needs work.”

  “Easy for you to say.”

  It was anything but easy. However, Matt wasn’t about to share his difficult past. It wasn’t a subject he liked to discuss, and he’d only told Collin the bare details because he felt his boyfriend ought to have some idea what he was getting into.

  “Just because I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m suddenly…”

  Alicia cut him off. “Ooh, he’s your boyfriend now.”

  Matt felt himself blush as he replied, “Yes.”

  “How exciting! I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks. I’m pretty pleased myself.”

  “See,” Alicia told Lou, “you could be that happy too.”

  “She doesn’t know me. For all she knows I could be a serial killer,” protested Lou, demonstrating once again that some people really were worse than Matt in the dating finesse department, in case he’d forgotten such a thing was possible. It was actually heartening.

  “That’s the point of dating,” said Matt, “unless… please tell me you’re not going to propose immediately.”

  Lou scowled, offended. “Of course not.”

  “Who’s proposing?” asked Jeff as he walked into the library conference room.

  “Nobody, thank God,” answered Alicia.

  “But I did meet the woman I’m going to marry.” Lou smiled dreamily before adding, “So I guess I’ll get there eventually.”

  “Maybe start with asking her out,” suggested Matt. “Or at least talking to her.”

  “Have you ever asked someone out? It’s nerve-wracking.”

  “I asked Collin on our third date.”

  “Subsequent dates don’t count. You already knew he liked you.”

  “Subsequent dates totally count,” insisted Alicia. “Just because someone liked you enough to ask you on a first date doesn’t necessarily mean they want a second or third.”

  “My point exactly. Thank you.” Matt felt better knowing his anxiety over asking Collin for a third date wasn’t abnormal.

  “It was the fifth or sixth date before I stopped getting nervous asking Elspeth,” added Jeff, further bolstering Matt’s feelings of normalcy.

  “You’re not making me feel any better, you know,” said Lou.

  Jeff shrugged. “I’m just being realistic.”

  “Sure, people were all excited for Matt when he met his boyfriend, but I meet the woman I’m going to marry and everyone’s ho-hum about it.”

  “It’s okay, Lou,” said Terry as he sprawled on an overstuffed chair. “Some of us just want company while we’re stuck in singlehood. Please, we’re here to talk about sci-fi and fantasy, not romance.”

  “That’s the books, not our lives,” replied Alicia.

  Terry looked to their leader. “Jeff, back me up here.”

  “We’ve got five minutes until start time, and Lou’s take on dating is… interesting,” remarked Jeff diplomatically. Terry groaned.

  “It’s perfectly sensible,” insisted Lou. “And the strudels at this bakery are awesome so it’s not exactly a hardship to frequent the place.”

  “Where is this bakery, anyway?” Terry asked.

  “I’m not telling you.”

  “
Why? You were just telling us how good the strudels are.”

  “He’s afraid you’ll ask Becky out before he gets up the courage,” said Alicia.

  Lou pouted. “Hey! Whose side are you on here?”

  “Now I want strudel,” Matt said. “Thanks a lot, Lou.”

  “I don’t mind telling you which bakery. You have a boyfriend.”

  This, Matt suddenly realized, was everything he wanted for his life right now and what he’d dreamed of when he left his family behind: a wonderful boyfriend, interests he could indulge without judgment, friends who appreciated him regardless of his sexual orientation, and a fulfilling job.

  The work he’d devoted to his mental health and wellbeing was finally paying off in spades. It felt great to know he’d gotten so far despite everything his parents had done to hold him back. Matt didn’t focus on revenge; it wouldn’t do him any good and his energies were better spent improving his own life. Besides, he’d never wanted payback so much as his family’s acceptance. However, if living well was the best revenge, as the saying went, he was getting his vengeance after all.

  In any event he wasn’t going to waste time thinking about the past. The present was too good for that.

  Chapter Ten

  Collin felt terrible about canceling his date with Matt but it was unavoidable, so he made the call to get it over with. “I’m really sorry about this,” he began. “There’s a major grant application due at midnight tonight which, due to a series of fuckups, is more or less garbage at this point.” That point, unfortunately, being four o’clock on a Friday afternoon. “We won’t be able to make it professional caliber, but three of us need to stay late to do our best. This grant would mean a lot. I hate to cancel, but…”

  “It’s okay,” interrupted Matt. “You’re doing important work.”

  “It is important. We want to develop an outreach for the redder parts of the state.” Philadelphia was a true-blue liberal city. Much of Pennsylvania wasn’t as kind to LGBT folks and outreach could literally save lives, or at least improve them.