“Anyway, I’m not terminating this pregnancy. If this means you want to divorce me, I understand but…” continued Lovette.
“DIVORCE?! Whoa! Slow down! Who said anything about a divorce, Lovette?! You’re going so fast with this. Just…stop for a second,” said Joseph. His head felt as if were about to explode from taking everything in all at once.
Lovette was Joseph’s life. He lived for her. She could do no wrong…almost. He had felt as if he were nothing without her and even after her confession, she was still his. There was no future without her and to hear the word divorce…he couldn’t bear what it would be like to live life without her by his side. He needed her.
“Mommy. I’m thirsty,” said Joey. He was rubbing his eyes and wearing his all red footy pajamas with his blue blanket draped over his shoulder. Neither one of them had known how long he had been standing in the living room doorway.
“Go on back up to bed and I’ll bring you some water. Okay?” said Lovette. He hadn’t been satisfied with her response. Not moving from the doorway, he stared at them both.
“I want it now. I’m thirsty,” he whined.
“Joey, mommy said she is going to bring it up to you. Now, go back to bed!” shouted Joseph. He had raised his voice at their son and this had been the first time. He was hurting from what they had going on and it stemmed off towards Joey. She didn’t like it at all.
Joey’s eyes teared up but he didn’t say another word. He turned back around and headed back up to his room.
“Joseph, you didn’t have to yell at him like that. He doesn’t have shit to do with this,” said Lovette. It was one thing for him to yell at her because maybe she deserved it but he wasn’t going to yell at their child when he did nothing at all.
“You’re right,” sighed Joseph. “I’m going to take the water up to him and apologize. Can we finish this later?”
“Can we finish this tomorrow? I’m just as exhausted as you are with it. I just want to take a shower and head to bed,” replied Lovette. Not waiting for a response, she got up from the couch and walked towards the steps.
*********************************************************************************
December 5, 1988
Two separate heartbeats were heard. Twins. Lovette had been carrying two babies. As if the thought of having one more child wasn’t a bit overwhelming enough, their doctor had confirmed that she was carrying twins.
After confessing to Joseph about her infidelity, she felt better and worse at the same time. She hadn’t talked to Mike about it just yet and each day passing had creeped closer and closer towards her due date.
Joseph had the idea to wait until the babies had been born and to not say anything to Mike but that idea just didn’t sit well with Lovette. He deserved to know the possibility of him becoming a dad ahead of time. Leaving the doctor’s office, Lovette decided to break the car ride silence.
“I was thinking I would give Mike a call today. This has gone on long enough. He needs to know. Keeping it from him isn’t fair. If he is…the father…he deserves the chance to know a head of time,” she said.
Joseph was afraid of this. He was afraid that Mike still loved Lovette and would be the first thing smoking back to Shawford to woo his wife back into his arms. Joseph wouldn’t allow this to happen. No matter what it took, he would keep his wife. And, no matter what he needed to do, Mike would never have her.
Waiting a few moments to speak, Lovette knew he didn’t agree with her decision. Her mind was made up. It was the right thing to do.
“You can sit beside me the entire phone call if it makes you feel any better,” added Lovette.
This statement gave him a bit of emotional pleasure. She was still his. Lovette still and would always carry the title of being his wife but she was still attached to him emotionally. He needed to know that she still cared about him and this gesture had made him feel a bit at ease.
“Okay,” he agreed. Going against her wishes would only put more of a strain on their marriage and this was something he hadn’t cared to do. Things were going to get better between them. They had to.
Pulling up to their house, Joseph’s parents were there. They hadn’t been expecting them to stop by. Neither one of them had been sitting in their car or waiting outside, so Lovette assumed they had let themselves in with the “emergency only” key they had given them.
“Oh, there you two are! Y’all haven’t been answering the phone for days now and we started to worry! Don’t scare us like that!” screeched Joseph’s mother, Sarah. She coming from upstairs carrying a laundry basket of Joey’s clothes.
It bothered Lovette when she came over and instantly started cleaning. She loved her mother-in-law but it made Lovette to feel like she wasn’t a good enough cleaner. The annoying part was that the basket only had a few items in it.
Sarah had to be doing something all the time. She was about to start a whole load of clothes for a couple of shirts and a couple of pants. Lovette reminded herself to jokingly slide her the water bill once it came in the mail.
“Sorry, mom. Between work and home, things have been a little hectic. We meant to call you back. Is dad here?” said Joseph. He didn’t mind his mother letting herself in. It had only bothered Lovette. If he could, he would have his parents live right next door so they could be closer.
“Naw. He told me to stay home and mind my business. You know he doesn’t worry like I do. What time does Joey get home from school? I want him to see maw maw waiting at the bus stop for him,” she squealed.
Lovette instantly let go of the aggravation of her letting herself into their home and smiled. Sarah was such a wonderful grandmother. Since Joey was too young to remember his grandmother, Trudy, it made her sad but she was grateful that Sarah had done such a great job of loving her son as grandmother should.
“3. You should stay for dinner. Give him a bath and read him a bedtime story. You know he’d love that. Tell dad to come over,” said Lovette.
“Oh, see now you just want me for my good cooking but you know since I love you so much, I’m gonna do just that!” said Sarah. She loved Lovette like the daughter she never had. “I’ll make my lasagna. Joey loves it! Oh, and what’s so hectic around here that y’all couldn’t call me back? Trouble in the marriage? You know I counsel…”
“Everything is okay around here, mom. I promise. Do you need me to go to the grocery store and pick up the ingredients?” said Joseph. The less his mother knew about the pregnancy, the better. He knew she would judge her if she ever found out that Lovette had been unfaithful. He also didn’t want her to find out exactly how they became a couple and this would come out as well.
“I’ll go,” his mother replied while giving him the side eye. He knew she didn’t believe him and that this topic was going to be brought up again. Looking Lovette up and down, she continued. “Lovette, you’re looking kind of pale. You feeling okay?”
Lovette immediately felt guilty. She was nowhere near ready to tell her anything about her pregnancy. Even though no one could replace Trudy, Sarah had been the closest thing as a mother to her and Lovette didn’t want to disappoint her.
“I’m okay. Just a little tired. Just gonna go take a nap before Joey gets home,” said Lovette. Taking the basket of clothes from Sarah, Lovette took it back upstairs to Joey’s room. She wouldn’t be adding to the water bill today. Sarah waited for her to get all the way upstairs before she began her whispers.
“You think she’s really okay? She seems a bit off today,” said Sarah. “And, she’s looking a bit heavier.”
“She’s okay. Just tired. She does so much around here. I’ve been thinking that maybe I should book her spa date. Something relaxing. You think it’s a good idea?” said Joseph.
“You know what would be an even better idea? Booking that date for two. I can join her. Mother and daughter date,” said Sarah. She laughed but Joseph knew she was serious. That’s exactly what he would do.
Picking up her purse and headin
g for the grocery store, Joseph watched his mother drive down the long rocky path towards the main road. Standing still in the screen door, he took the time to reflect on how he actually felt about everything.
First and most important, Lovette was his to keep. No matter what happened between them, he was willing to work around it and fix it. He had worked hard to build and keep the strong family bond that they had and no one would come between them. Even if this meant the babies weren’t his.
The babies. The thought of one baby possibly not being his didn’t hurt as much as knowing more than one child was coming into this world. Mike had a dark complexion and Lovette was part African American herself. This meant that there was a great chance that the babies could come out with a darker skin tone and well…people would know that the children weren’t his.
Maybe he could convince her that now wasn’t the right time to have another child. They had been focused working on their marriage and right now, that mattered most. She made it clear that she wanted the pregnancy but may be something had changed in her. Maybe the thought of two babies had overwhelmed her. This was a possibility. He would bring it up.
No he wouldn’t. This would make her hate him. She had already told him that she wanted the pregnancy and if he mentioned anything close to an abortion, she would look at him differently. This would only push her away and…he couldn’t have that.
The next day, Joseph waited for Lovette to come out of the bathroom to approach her with his feelings. He had tossed and turned all night deciding what was best for the both of them. Stepping out of the bathroom with a towel around her hair and body, she had never looked more beautiful.
“I’ve decided that I don’t need to hear your conversation with Mike. We’ve had trust in our marriage and if we want things to get better, I have to remain to trust you. I’ve messed up and you have as well. Now, we can only move forward from there. We just have to figure things out as they go, I guess,” said Joseph.
Lovette was relieved to know that he trusted her to do the right thing. She had planned to be responsible with or without him around.
“Thank you for saying that,” she replied.
“Also, I got you something,” said Joseph. Holding up his hand and shaking the keys, Lovette’s eyes widened. “Since there are more babies on the way, we need another car. I don’t care if the babies aren’t mine. We are going to figure this out because you’re my wife and that’s how it’s going to stay.”
Wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly, she sobbed. She wasn’t sure if it were the hormones or feeling overwhelmed by everything but she couldn’t hold back the tears. Lovette had her own time to think things over and it felt as if he had only ever done one thing wrong to her. And, that was the start of their relationship. He had been faithful, loving, supportive, and she still trusted him.
“Thank you!” she managed to push out in between sobs.
“Get dressed. It’s in the driveway. You don’t have to thank me,” replied Joseph.
Rushing to get dressed, she almost raced him downstairs to see her new car. It was early in the morning, so she was clueless as to when he had time to even go get it. It didn’t matter. She was just excited to have her very own first car.
A bright red Audi! She had mentioned to him a while back that she had wanted a red car. Since she knew little about cars, she didn’t really care which kind but wanted it to be red. He had done a good job of listening and remembering. Another thing she loved about him.
Hugging him over and over, Joseph playfully broke away from her grasped and told her he needed to head over to his parent’s house. He had to meet with his father before work.
Sarah would be picking Joey up from school today and he would be spending the weekend with them, so the day was open for whatever Lovette had wanted to do. She was excited to drive her new car around and to be seen in it. The places she would go!
Kissing him goodbye and running back up into their bedroom, Lovette fished for a better outfit to wear. Something to match her new car. Walking past her nightstand, she stopped in her tracks and picked up the house phone.
Tapping the first three buttons, Lovette dropped it back down into its resting place. She took a chance on calling the O’Conner’s house the last time to tell Mike that they couldn’t ever see one another again. She got lucky when Mike had picked up. If Mrs. O’Conner picked up, there would be too many questions asked and no turning back from there.
“Dial the number, Lovette,” she whispered to herself. Picking up the phone, the dial tone sounded as if it were a horn blaring. To silence it, she punched in the first three numbers. Taking a few seconds to dial the rest of the number, she punched in the last four digits and took a deep breath.
“Hello.” It was Mr. O’Conner. Lovette let out the breath she had been holding in and spoke.
“Hey. Mr. O’Conner, it’s. Lovette. I didn’t call to stir anything up but I really need Mike to give me a call. It’s pretty urgent,” she said. The silence on the other end of the phone had made her want to hang up.
“You can just give him my number,” said Lovette. She read her number out loud and hung up the phone. The feeling of stupidity washed over her. Mike deserved to know the situation that was at hand because it affected his life in a major way if he had fathered her children.
Lovette had been sitting on the edge of her bed for some time and was stuck in her thoughts. All of the possibilities of what outcome could come about bothered her. The phone began to ring and had shaken her from all of her “what if” scenarios.
“Hello,” said Lovette. Silence. There was breathing but no background noises were heard. It had to have been Mr. O’Conner calling her back.
“Look, I’m sorry for calling you like that but I just needed to talk to Mike. This is really important. I don’t want anything from him. He just needs to know something,” said Lovette.
“This is Mike. I just need to know what?” he said.
It felt as if a million butterflies had submerged into her stomach. Or was that the babies? Stay focused, Lovette.
“Hey. Are you free to talk right now? This might take a second,” said Lovette. Her chest had felt heavy. Why was it still possible for him to activate so many different feelings in her? No. “Stick to what you’re calling him for and that’s it,” the voice echoed in her head.
“What? You’re pregnant?” asked Mike while laughing.
“Actually, I am. And, I’m carrying twins anddd they might be yours. Still funny?” shot back Lovette. He had hurt her deeply by laughing. She knew it wasn’t to make a mock of her but at the same time, it felt insensitive.
“Wait. What?!” whispered Mike. He was only joking and had never expected Lovette to call him about being pregnant…with his child…two children?! Grabbing the side of his couch, he sat down and the words rung in his ears.
“Not so funny anymore, huh? The doctor dated everything back to around our anniversary. My anniversary. That night…I slept with you…and Joe,” said Lovette shamefully.
“Why would you do that?! It was already bad enough we slept together but you went home and did the same thing to your husband?! Why? What sense does that make?! After finding out what he did to you?” shouted Mike. He was filled with rage. This time it had been at her.
“I don’t know! He had wanted to work things out so bad and I guess if I turned down his gesture, I felt as if he would know something was up! It just happened! I didn’t call you for a fucking screaming match,” cried Lovette.
Mike had been soft with her the last time they saw one another. He had showered her with affection and made her feel like he had when they were teenagers. She had missed the feeling. Hearing from him made her feel as if that same Mike would return but it hadn’t.
“Why are you like this?! Why are you so irresponsible?” questioned Mike.
“Irresponsible?! I didn’t have sex with myself! I didn’t force you to do anything! Last time I checked, we BOTH wanted it! How dare you ca
ll ME irresponsible?! What gives you the fucking right?!” screamed back Lovette in between tears.
“Let’s just slow this down for a second. Look,” said Mike. He had calmed his tone down and felt bad for the things he had said to her. “I’m sorry. I just freaked out for a few seconds. This is a lot to take in. Please, Love. I swear, I’m sorry.”
Love. No. This wouldn’t sway her this time. It was her weakness but not at this moment. She wouldn’t let up so easy.
“You’re freaked out?! Try thinking about how I feel?! I’m the one carrying not one but two children and don’t know who THEY belong to! I didn’t ask for this but guess what? It’s happening Mike! You don’t ever get to judge me, either! You were there. You were part of this!” she continued to shout.
“I know, I know. Just calm down for a second. Have you told Joseph?”
“Of course, I told him. He isn’t jumping for joy about it either but we’re trying our best to work things out,” said Lovette.
“So, you’re keeping the babies? And, don’t get mad. I just need to be caught up to speed. How long have you known you were pregnant before telling me?” asked Mike.
“Not that long. And, yes. I’m keeping them. I’ll just have to deal with whatever when we find out who the father is. Joseph has already come to terms and no matter what, he wants to stay married and work things out.”
“Are you sure it’s only between me and him that could be the possible father?” questioned Mike. He had spit out the question before he thought of how she would react.
“Are you kidding me right now?! You know what…GO TO HELL!” screamed Lovette. Slamming down the phone into its cradle, she wept. Mike had really had the nerve. She wasn’t a slut! Mike and Joseph had been the only two men she had ever slept with! How dare he?!
The phone instantly started ringing again. It was him. Lovette had been too distraught to pick up the phone and just wanted everything to disappear. For a second, she felt as if life would’ve been better had she never found out that Joseph had been sneaky and sabotaged things.
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