Merry Wrath Mysteries Boxed Set Volume III (Books 7-9)

by Leslie Langtry

  For a split second, a look of annoyance marred Taylor's carefully made-up features, but it disappeared, and she patted the child on the head. "Good luck!"

  Clearly, the woman did not like the idea of her record being broken. I decided right then and there that Ava was going to make that happen, if it took all my resources and a couple of well-placed bribes.

  "Thad!" Taylor purred when she saw him and made her way to join the Gables at the drinks table.

  The man who'd walked in with her had stopped in the doorway and looked around. Enos McQuaid was a bored billionaire and my vote for wild card at the event. Dressed in a work shirt like you'd see at a gas station fifty years ago, the guy seemed to be thumbing his nose at the stylish folks around him.

  McQuaid became rich during college when he invented Clean Yo Mouth—a cell phone app that reminded people to brush their teeth. He sold it for millions and then joined the leisure set.

  Word on the street said that since he'd retired young, he was incredibly bored and always looking for anything to do. He'd been parasailing with Canadian geese…in Nicaragua, skateboarded illegally down the Pyramids of Giza, and built a castle for zombies in his backyard (violating zoning laws and scaring his neighbors into wondering what he knew that they didn't). What the twenty-seven-year-old was doing here was anyone's guess. The man scanned the room, his gaze lingering on each and every guest, before he found a chair and sat down.

  "Now that everyone's here," Stacey announced, "it's time for introductions! I'm Stacey, and you've already met Juliette." She indicated the redheaded demon, who simply nodded to the guests but managed a sideways sneer at me. "Why don't we go around the room?"

  "If I have to." Dennis sighed. "Dennis Blunt. My parents made me come. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here."

  Wren didn't give us time to react to this. "Wren Gable!" She pulled on her husband's arm. "Wife of Thad Gable. I'm excited to be here!" She turned to kiss her husband on the cheek, but he shot her a look that would've seared her lips off, so she stopped.

  "Thad Gable." He sneered. "I'm sure everyone knows who I am."

  Lauren raised her hand. "I don't know who you are."

  "Well, you're just a kid," he said. "Ask your parents. They know who I am."

  Betty piped up, "Are you a serial killer?"

  Thad jumped, spilling his drink. "Why would you think that?"

  "Because that's the only reason we'd know who you are," Betty suggested.

  To be fair, it made sense to me.

  "No," he said as he refreshed his drink. "I'm not. But I defended one."

  Inez frowned. "You had to defend a serial killer? From police or bad guys?"

  "No…I…um…" Thad struggled to find an answer.

  "From ninjas?" Ava's eyes grew wide.

  "I didn't defend him from ninjas!" Thad shrieked. "I defended him in court!" He sat down and scowled at the girls.

  Arthur stood up, smiling at Violet, who remained seated. "I'm Arthur Kasinski, and this is my lovely wife, Violet. We have a large farm not far from here, and we are so happy to be here supporting the Girl Scouts. Right, honey?"

  Violet nodded her agreement as Arthur sat down. She looked serene and happy. They both did. Was that how Rex and I would be fifty years from now? I hoped so.

  "Enos McQuaid," the young man said as he struggled to stand. While not grossly so, he was definitely overweight. "I was an inventor. Now I'm a man of leisure." He looked around awkwardly.

  "What's a man of leisure?" Inez asked.

  "Maybe it's a planet?" Lauren asked. "Are you from another planet?"

  Enos shifted his considerable weight from one foot to another. "No, it means I have lots of free time. I don't really work. Not anymore."

  "What did you invent?" Ava asked.

  He looked relieved to have a subject he understood more than he understood little girls. "It's an app on your cell phone that tells you when to brush your teeth."

  The girls looked at each other then turned toward him.

  "Is it for stupid people?" Betty asked. "Because everyone knows when to brush their teeth."

  Lauren spoke up. "Maybe it's for babies. Babies don't know when to brush their teeth."

  Ava rolled her eyes. "Babies don't have teeth!"

  "Or cell phones," Inez added.

  "Well…" Enos looked confused. "I guess there are enough people who needed reminding, or I wouldn't have been able to sell it for millions."

  The girls immediately started whispering among themselves. My guess was they were trying to invent something no one needed so they could make millions too.

  Taylor got to her feet. "I'm Taylor Burke, and as you all know, I was one of Iowa's 40 Under 40 Top Business Leaders last year, was just named CEO of the Year by Insurance Magazine and was the state's youngest Gold Award winner." She shot Ava a quick glare. "And when I was a Girl Scout, we didn't do silly things like this. We camped in tents we made out of whatever we could find, and we lived off the land. Girls now have it too easy."

  I was pretty sure Taylor never did any of those things when she was a Scout. In fact, she probably lied to earn badges quickly and made others do chores for her. Maybe I'd invite her camping with my troop sometime. My girls made the twins in The Parent Trap look like amateurs.

  Did these people know each other? The introductions implied that they didn't. In fact, the only recognition between guests had been Taylor and Thad. These people had to know each other, at least marginally, since the number of major donors in Des Moines was probably limited.

  "Hi, everyone!" Soo Jin's voice next to me gave me a start. "I'm Dr. Soo Jin Body, the medical examiner based in Who's There, Iowa."

  I waited for the usual drooling to start. Soo Jin was willowy with perfect skin and glossy black hair in a sleek bob. Her sweet nature was genuine, leading men and women to fall for her. I kept my eyes on Thad, who didn't disappoint as his eyes went up and down her figure. Wren didn't notice, but Taylor did. And she did not look happy.

  Enos's eyebrows went up hopefully. "You're playing the part of the coroner?" He probably hoped he'd be a victim.

  The lovely doctor blushed. "Oh! No! I can see where that might be confusing. I really am a medical examiner—but not a coroner. I'm not here in any professional capacity. I'm just here to help with the troop." She indicated the four girls on the floor in front of us.

  "What's the difference?" Enos asked.

  Soo Jin smiled. "It's an easy mistake. The titles seem interchangeable, but they aren't. A coroner is an elected official and doesn't have to have any medical degree. Whereas a medical examiner is a real doctor and is a hired position."

  The guests looked at each other in surprise but said nothing, then, as a group, turned their attention to me.

  I struggled to get to my feet under the weight of the felt circle skirt. "I'm Merry Wrath, the leader of this troop. We're just here to help."

  Wren's jaw dropped. "You're Merry Wrath? The Merry Wrath?"

  "Well"—I was famous?—"I'm a Merry Wrath."

  She turned to her husband. "Thad! This is the woman I was telling you about! Mike Czrygy's daughter!"

  Ah. They knew my dad, Senator Czrygy. Everyone knew him. He came back to Iowa and visited as many of the 99 counties as he could whenever there was a recess. An important politician who chaired many committees, Mike Czrygy was considered one of the most powerful members in the Senate.

  Thad looked at me with interest for the very first time. "The spy who was outed and came back to Iowa?"

  I nodded, unsure what to say. Even though word had gotten out about me, I'd been incognito for years. Unfortunately, bodies popped up around me like ants at an all-sugar picnic, and when my senator father was in town for my wedding a couple of months ago, people started putting two and two together.

  One of the reasons I loved Iowa was that people weren't really starstruck. Celebrities, good or bad, weren't a big deal. They were just like everyone else. No one had confronted me about my past since word leaked out. And
I liked it that way.

  "I heard about you." Enos stared at me. "Your name was Finn something."

  "Czrygy," Wren corrected.

  I held my hands up. "I'm just Merry now. And I'm just here with my troop to help out. That's all."

  Most of the guests seemed okay with my plea. But something in the eyes of Caroline Regent caught me off guard. Had I met the doctor before? I think I'd remember any reconstructive bowel surgery. But the look passed, and I chalked it up to my overactive imagination.

  "My friend," Dennis said unconvincingly, "is writing a book about you."

  I froze. A book? About me?

  He nodded as if I'd said those words aloud—which was super creepy. "Yeah. About how you were a spy and stuff."

  Someone was writing a book on me? Why on earth would they do that? First off, almost all of my cases as a field agent for the CIA were and still are classified. Secondly, I wasn't really that interesting. Someone once wrote a Hollywood script about me, and it did not go well.

  "Who?" I demanded. "Who is writing a book on me?"

  Dennis shrugged.

  "I need a name, address, phone number, and social security number. Now." If he thought I was dropping this, he was wrong.

  "It's none of your business," Dennis said.

  "None of my business? Your friend is writing an unauthorized biography on me! I'd say that's my business." I started to get up, but Soo Jin put her hand on my arm.

  She whispered, "Not here, not now. This is a fundraiser, remember?"

  As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. This wasn't the time or place. You might be interested to know that the right time and place was a dark alley with a baseball bat and no witnesses.

  Dennis wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I sent him a look I hoped would make him swell up and break out in boils.

  It didn't.

  Stacey clapped her hands together. "Not here at the moment are Miriam, the housekeeper, and Ned, the groundskeeper. They work for the Deivers family and will only be involved in meals and that sort of thing. They aren't part of the game." She took a big breath. "Now that we've all introduced ourselves, before lunch is served, let's go over the ground rules."

  I heard her tell the group that they were playing characters based on themselves but set in the 1950s—just so we wouldn't have to remember new names and character backgrounds. But it was fuzzy because in the back of my mind, I was wondering when I could kidnap Dennis, tie him to a chair, and torture him for more information on this buddy and her book.

  There was a shed outside. Which probably meant there was rope, hedge pruners, and a convenient amount of flammable bug killer that I could use to get answers. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a paranoid person. It's just a spy thing.

  We don't like our exploits published for all the world to see. Especially the stuff we get wrong. Like the time in Nicaragua when I accidentally kidnapped Pablo Escobar's (no, not that Pablo Escobar—it's a common mistake since this Pablo was his cousin three times removed) pet sloth. How was I to know that Honeybun had crawled into my jeep for a nap?

  By the way, Honeybun is safe and living in a sloth preserve in Costa Rica. Like I was going to take her back to Escobar! Sure, it put a price on my head for 10,000 Cordoba Oros (which, sadly, is only about $300 in the US), but it was worth it because Pablo wasn't known to be kind to anyone due to an unfortunate hemorrhoid issue, and I got to play with the baby sloths while I was there. I'd have to take my troop sometime.

  But as much as I wanted to deal with this now, Soo Jin was right. I had to focus on what we were doing. I'd feel awful if the other guests said screw it, wanted their money back, and went home. I wasn't going to give up on this, but I wasn't going to deal with it now. Eventually, I shook myself out of my funk and started to listen as the staff, Miriam and Ned, appeared in the doorway.

  "Ned here," Stacey was saying, "will show you to your rooms upstairs, where your luggage has already been delivered. Once you've unpacked, join us back down here for further instructions."

  Everyone got up at once and made their way into the hallway. There was a grand staircase in the center of the house that led up to our rooms, each one with their own bathroom. The two couples had two rooms, and the Girl Scout employees shared a room, but the four single individuals had their own rooms. Soo Jin and I had a room with two twin beds and two sets of bunkbeds. Ned and Miriam had a separate cottage out back.

  The Deivers didn't have children, which made me wonder about the room with bunk beds. But I couldn't think of a way to ask without sounding nosy (an annoying spy trait, says Kelly), so I didn't. Maybe they had family who came to visit. Or maybe they rented it out on Airbnb. Or perhaps the room was for Gertrude, the lop-eared bunny. It didn't matter, because it suited us perfectly.

  Once the guests were gone, I waited for the girls to pepper me with questions. They'd guessed a while back that I'd been something like a spy, but for reasons I don't completely understand, we'd never really talked about it.

  "I don't think it's a good idea that someone is writing a book about you," Inez said somberly. "What if they find out how many people you killed and make you stop being our leader?"

  Ava scowled. "That's not going to happen. Not on my watch."

  "Hold on," I said in my defense. "I haven't killed all that many people."

  Soo Jin shot me a warning look.

  "I mean," I added, "I haven't killed any people." It was a lie, but I should probably avoid telling them that when I was in the CIA, I killed exactly five people. Not all at once. I'm not that good.

  "Want me to torture it out of him?" Betty asked, a bit too eagerly.

  "You have to put a bar of soap in your sock and hit him with it," Lauren nodded. "You don't leave marks that way."

  I shook my head. "No one is doing anything of the sort. These people donated a great deal of money to support the Girl Scouts. Trust me, I'll find out what's going on with this book my own way." Which would most likely include pliers and some painfully applied Q-tips.

  Lauren turned to Inez. "I'll bet she uses a car battery and cables. That's what I'd use."

  Betty shook her head. "Waterboarding. Best way to find out if your brother has been stealing your Halloween candy, hands down."

  Soo Jin was familiar with my girls and used to this kind of talk, so she ignored this part of the conversation. I faded back inside my own head, trying to wrap my thoughts around this book thing. Maybe Dennis was messing with me. He was a bored brat who didn't want to be here anyway. Maybe he was doing it to get back at his folks. In any event, I was going to get him alone and find out.

  That was when we realized that Miriam was still standing in the doorway. The woman was so quiet and unobtrusive she might as well be invisible. Her expression was unreadable, so I had no idea what she thought of what she'd just heard.

  "They're joking." I laughed artificially. "They love to joke."

  Miriam just blinked.

  The girls stopped talking like Spanish Inquisitors and chattered amongst themselves about what they thought would be for lunch. The unanimous hope was for chili cheese dogs and ice cream. To be honest, I was rooting for that menu myself.

  Soo Jin and I talked quietly about the script. She knew the premise and story but not who the victim and killer were. Stacey and I were the only ones who knew that. We were careful not to spill any secrets aloud. The girls didn't know what was going on, and we thought it best if they didn't. Then it would be fun for them. Plus, they couldn't randomly announce spoilers to the other guests—something Betty had become very fond of in the last six months. I haven't seen a movie since because I now knew things I wish I didn't. Perhaps we should stage an intervention the next time a Marvel's Avengers movie comes out.

  After a few minutes, the guests began trickling into the parlor, quietly taking up their former seats. I watched everyone, sizing them up for the part they'd play. That was when it occurred to me that this was a very odd group of numerous ages and interests.

  When they g
ot to their rooms, each person should have found a sealed folder with their personal information in it—who they were, if they were victims or the killer. I couldn't tell if any of them had read it or not. Had there even been enough time?

  Once everyone was seated, Miriam seemed to come alive. Well, she blinked. She took one step into the room and said, "Lunch."

  The game had begun.

  MYSTERY NIGHT MURDER

  available now!