Hard Truths (Kiss Her Goodbye Book 1)
Page 23
“Because you were worried about Kade.” I could understand caring about someone to the point of making mistakes.
He rubbed his eyes. “Yes. Among other things. Do you like movies?”
“I… I do like movies.”
He nodded once. “Great. So we’ll try this differently than we did in Vermont. You’re a guest in my house. Kade had wanted all the electronics out of our lives there so that you couldn’t call for help. I think if you were going to do that, you’ve had ample opportunity at this point. I am going to treat you like I would if you just came to stay with me. We’re tired tonight. It’s been a long day and not the one you were expecting. We’ll watch a movie and get some kind of take-out food.”
“Thank you.” Even as I answered him, my mind reeled. Judson was right. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to make the mistake he’d made earlier with the assassin. He was meticulous, even down to how he’d tucked in his clothing.
He was right. I hadn’t had the kind of day I’d been expecting. He hadn’t liked how Kade—their resident tech genius— had stopped communicating. He’d indicated to me that he’d spoken to Trace and Warden and found their behavior off.
“Did you do it on purpose?” I lifted my lids and held his eye contact, which was hard. There was something about the intensity of his gaze that made me want to drop my eyes. Still, I swallowed through the instinct and didn’t do it.
He pushed a button and the partition between us and the driver went up. Maybe the man wasn’t Alliance. Or maybe he wasn’t Alliance enough. As he’d reminded me on the plane, I didn’t know much. Not when it came down to it.
“You’re very smart.”
A shiver moved through me. He didn’t make that sound like a compliment. “Is this where you kill me for being too smart?”
He shook his head slowly. “This is where you have my attention. How did I give myself away?”
“It wasn’t one thing. It was everything. And you may have mentioned that you screwed up a lot.”
He drummed his finger on the side of the car. “Not one person in a million could have read me that way. But then again, you managed to pretend you didn’t speak sign language the whole time you were at my lodge, and you can do that, too. You’re actually better at this than your father was. Yes, I knew the assassin was there. I didn’t bring him. I used the opportunity. I expected to kill him. Then we’d be down one assassin after us, and I’d have convinced Kade to give you to me for your own safety and get back to work. I didn’t expect him to blow up the place and go even deeper underground. However, I should know by now that Kade doesn’t respond exactly like I anticipate most of the time.”
I didn’t know if I should feel better that I’d figured him out or be alarmed that he was so manipulative. Then again, this was a game of the world they played. Trace moved people around like chess pieces to get to Mars on his timetable. Warden could empty bank accounts by getting people to invest badly. Kade used satellites like toys. Judson faked scenarios where people could be killed to get me away from Kade and with him.
“Is this a usual thing for you, Doctor? Or am I just so dangerous you can’t let your friends play with me anymore?”
His smile was slow. “When I figure that out, I’ll let you know.”
“Maybe you’ll never figure me out.” Even as I said that, I knew it wasn’t true. He would. This man, who’d once told me he liked to tie up women for sex but now added that he only found what was on the inside sexy, would probably know me in half a second. I wasn’t nearly as interesting as I pretended to be.
I was just a girl in over her head who’d finally figured some things out.
He didn’t answer, and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I’d have to wait and see. With Judson, I’d bet that was the case more than it wasn’t.
His home turned out to be on something called Marlborough Street. If this was just one of his homes, I wondered what the others outside of The Lodge looked like. I almost asked him if this one had a name, but we’d come to a sort of truce since I’d called him out on his lie earlier. I didn’t want to screw that up. The street seemed full of Brownstones, and Judson’s was no different.
He gave me a thorough tour. J had different homes, but if he took as much interest in the details of all of them as he did with this one, then he must be constantly preoccupied with real estate and construction. The house was just over six thousand square feet. I’d never have known that on my own except that he told me on the tour. It had an elevator. I’d never been in a house with one before, but Judson said it was a good investment for getting older.
I stared at him until he rolled his eyes at me. “Yes, I plan to get older.”
We took the elevator upward to the roof where I quickly wished I had my coat again. I had to admit, the view was gorgeous and the decks—two of them—really beautiful. I smiled at him. “The elevator doesn’t go all the way up. There are four steps to get up here. You’ll have to give up going up here when you’re old. Unless you can install one of those lifts on the railing to go up four steps.”
“Oh, I won’t be here when I’m old. I’ll sell it before then.”
He was so all over the place on this subject. “Where will you be?”
“I like the house in Aspen. I think it would be great to wake up every morning there. But that’ll have to be after I close the practice and after we get this Alliance stuff worked out. That may put a big hold in my plans. I may have to be more readily available toward the end of my life than I planned on being.”
I supposed that made sense. In the meantime, with all of his money, he had incredible houses. Or I guessed he did. The two he had were pretty exceptional. Of course, he’d inherited the one in Vermont when his parents died.
The thought reminded me of something I’d said earlier. “I’m sorry that I brought up Alyssa. I didn’t know her. I shouldn’t be talking out of turn.”
He nodded once. “Come on. I’ll show you the rest of the place.”
I guessed that was all the acknowledgement of my apology I was going to get. Had he accepted it? I wasn’t sure. Judson did get focused and stay on a topic. I liked it. I bet I could learn a lot if he started to talk about something I didn’t know about. Like say… getting tied up during sex, which he had indicated once was his preference. What did that mean exactly? How did he tie the person up? I wasn’t going to ask that.
We were definitely not there in this part of our relationship.
The house faced south, that seemed to matter to him, and as we walked from room to room he showed me the small details he’d paid attention to when he’d worked with the architects to renovate the house.
“It was a mess when I got it, but that’s why I got it. If it hadn’t been falling apart it would have been out of my price range.”
There were things out of his price range? When it came to money above a certain level I had no idea how expensive was too expensive. He owned multiple homes all around the world but this would have been too much if it hadn’t been falling down? Couldn’t he have sold two of the others to get it at any price? Or did he not want it that badly?
I didn’t know anything about that or what I could ask Judson and what I couldn’t ask him. This probably fell in the do not discuss zone. Although he’d brought it up in the past. I tuned back into listening to his house description. I just hadn’t cared about anything in my life as much as he did about this house.
Six bedrooms. Four bathrooms, all of them en-suite. A family floor and room for an au pair. “Are you thinking someday you’d like to have children?”
He nodded before he continued. “I’d like to have kids. If I could figure out the right woman to do that with and how to make sure things were solid and not as fucked up as they are now. Yes, eventually I’d like to have them. I guess I’d better get moving on that. I’m not getting any younger.”
“Men can have babies for a long time. It’s women who have to watch their fertility, and these days that’s
less than they used to. But then I don’t have to tell that to you. You’re the doctor.”
He shook his head. “I’d like to be young enough to play with them. I don’t want to be a dad who can’t keep up with them.”
“My dad wasn’t a play with you dad. He was more like a watch you from a distance sort of dad.”
“That was my father, too.” He rocked back on his feet. “I’m really going on about this house, aren’t I?”
Manners dictated I tell him he wasn’t, but my good breeding had fled out the window a long time ago with the pseudo-kidnapping that I had going on. “You clearly care about it a lot.”
He smiled. “I do. Come on. You have to be hungry.”
I wasn’t, actually. “Speaking of keeping up with people. What I really want to do is run. I need to clear my head, to move my body. I’ll probably be hungry after that. Is there any way I can do that?”
“I have a gym here, but maybe what I’m hearing you say is that you want to run outside?”
He had read me correctly. “I’d like to in a way that doesn’t equate running for my life. I’d like to go for a jog where no one is chasing me. I don’t have the right clothes so I suppose that’s not possible.”
Feeling deflated, I let out a long sigh. “I took for granted being able to change into appropriate outfits whenever I wanted to in order to do whatever activity I was going to do at that moment. I didn’t realize that was going to go away.”
The doorbell rang, and he grinned. “Well, I may just be able to make that come true.”
Judson rushed past me and then down the stairs. I took off after him. What did he mean? Standing at the door was a man with packages. Judson handed him a tip then took the packages from him. “I got you clothes.”
My mouth fell open. “You did?”
“I did. I texted Marco in Vermont and had him tell me your sizes, and then I ordered them and had them delivered.”
My mind had to keep up with what was happening here. “When did you do this?”
“In the car. Anything can be delivered here.”
I walked toward him, leaning in to give him a side hug. “Thank you. Although it’s risky. You don’t want people coming here. You need to be safe.”
“Everly, I’m fine. You’ve caught me in my deceit. I knew the dude was there. I let him come. No one is getting near here that I don’t want here, end of story. Get changed. We’ll go for a run together. I’ll see if I can keep up with you.”
I took the packages from him, pulling back from the side hug that had gone on longer than I’d planned. I hoped that hadn’t gotten weird. He didn’t seem to have reacted, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to truly read Judson. He was too… guarded. Although, he’d clearly gotten happy that he’d been able to surprise me with clothes.
“Where should I stay?” I needed to know so I could change my clothes.
He pointed upward. “My bedroom is the biggest. Take any of the others that you’d like.”
“Thanks.”
Since there were five others to choose from, I didn’t think that was going to be a problem. I ended up taking the one closest to the stairs. I’d debated it for a minute or two and decided I liked the access to get out as fast as I could should I need to. That was a double-edged sword because it also meant that if someone invaded the house, they’d get to me quickly. Ultimately, I’d sided with escape. How had this become my life?
I changed into running clothes. My brand new sneakers were tight on my feet, but they’d loosen up after one run. I probably wouldn’t have picked bright pink ones but that was fine. I was just glad to have them. Judson had thought about just about everything, including toiletries, and I quickly put my stuff away.
When I got downstairs, he waited by the front door. “Thank you for all that stuff.”
“Sure. It’s a nice jog around here. With the weather cold and the sun down, there won’t be too many people on the sidewalks. The houses will be lit up from the inside. Lots of red brick. Want to go?”
I nodded. That sounded like heaven.
Judson was a good person to jog with. He paced with me very well and then after a minute or two, increased it, which made me work harder to keep up with him but not too fast to make it impossible. He wasn’t chatty and that was fine, too. I worked on concentrating on my breathing. There was a huge physical difference for me between running outside and doing it on the treadmill. I could already feel it in my joints. I was going to ache harder when I was done with this, and I wasn’t sure that was a bad thing. I needed to be stronger, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I didn’t know what was coming exactly, but I could tell that much.
Or maybe nothing was going to happen. Maybe getting taken was the extent of my drama. I’d never forget it, and I’d go back to my ordinary life.
I didn’t know how long we ran, but it was longer than I usually did before we rounded a corner and I realized that Judson had led us back to his house. At the foot of his Brownstone, I grabbed my knees and tried to catch my breath. All right, maybe I wasn’t such an awesome runner after all. I might have overdone it trying to show off, a little.
Judson put a hand on my back. “You’re really good. Let’s run together every day.”
“Sure.” It might kill me. But here I was again trying to prove something. What was it about Judson that just made me want him to think highly of me? I shook my head. I had to pull it together. “Now, I’m hungry.”
He grinned slowly. “Me too.”
We ended up eating sandwiches from his favorite place. They delivered. I ate ham and cheese while he tried to decide what to watch on television. Eventually, he handed me the remote. I stared at it like it was a foreign object.
“Don’t guys not do that? Don’t you all want to own the television remote?”
He rolled his eyes and took a bite of his turkey. “That never made any sense to me. Why hog the remote? Unless you want to be alone, in which case just watch television by yourself. I can’t settle on something. You pick.”
I could have been really evil and picked something only I liked to watch. I had a real thing for watching QVC, particularly when they were selling creepy looking dolls. No one else ever wanted to watch with me, but I wasn’t going to do that to Judson right when he was being reasonable. We could go back to screaming at each other another time. My endorphins pumped pretty high after the run, and he actually seemed mellower.
I settled on a cooking show. The host was in a small town in China, learning how to cook a local delicacy. I loved to watch other people make meals I knew I’d never attempt. Judson crossed his feet in front of him on the coffee table, which gave me permission to do the same. It had shocked me we weren’t eating in the dining room, but this was J being informal tonight. Again, maybe it was the run.
He got up and crossed the room, keeping his eye on the television. A second later he poured what looked like whisky into two glasses and brought one over to me. Okay, I could really like this version of Judson. With a plop down on the couch, he sat back next to me.
The whisky burned down my throat but it was a sensation I loved. It reminded me that whisky wasn’t just any drink. It was to be consumed slowly.
“I love that you picked a cooking show. I could watch them all night.”
A memory dawned on me. Back in Vermont he’d been the most interested in the taste of dinner. Yes, Judson was a foodie. “We have that in common. I do love to eat. That’s why I have to run.”
“I think I know what we’re going to be doing for our time together.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Running and eating?”
“And watching other people cook on television.”
I clinked my glass against his. “Sounds like a plan.”
His easy smile warmed me as much as the whisky. “A little break before I have to start ordering people killed.” He took another sip.
And my good mood plummeted. I choked on the sip of whisky I’d taken and set it down. “Wow. Okay.”
“Little too much honesty?” He lifted his lids in what was clearly a frank assessment of my reaction.
“Sometimes I forget. In these small moments with you guys, you become just people to me. Interesting men that I could… like.” Or love in the case of Trace, Warden, and Kade. I wasn’t going to say that to Judson. That was too far. “And then I remember when you guys say or do something or someone tries to kill us, that while you are those things you’re also these people secretly running things who battle against other people who have little regard for human life. And maybe you guys don’t have much of it either. But then my mind turns again. You’re a doctor. You must care about people.”
He shook his head. “I don’t. Not particularly. I said that to shock you, to see what you’d do. Thanks for your honesty. I value that. We can act like ordinary guys because we pretend to be ninety percent of the time. But I think you probably know about pretending. I think you probably fake quite a lot in your life. You’re much more than you seem, Everly. Don’t let it get you killed.” He took another sip. “Not by me. Don’t worry about that. You’re safe with me.”
I hoped that was true, but as I’d already determined, Judson was a liar. The question had to be though, was he telling the truth right now?
Chapter 22
I must not have been too scared, because I conked out right there on the sofa next to him, not waking until the program changed to late night cooking. I used to study with it on. The voice grated on me, and it would keep me awake when I had to study past my bedtime. I rubbed my eyes. I’d been right to use it for that, considering it had just woken me up. I glanced over at Judson.